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I have to admit that eavesdropping is one of my favorite activities. I try not to indulge too often, to respect the privacy of others and because I typically have earbuds in while riding on the bus. But every now and then, I strike gold and happen to catch the most entertaining conversations without even trying!
Clearly, I’m not the only one who knows this experience, as Redditors have recently been sharing the funniest things that they’ve overheard strangers say in public. So enjoy scrolling through this list full of confusing and amusing conversations, and be sure to upvote the ones that you would have liked to hear more of!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I overheard someone saying "tell the exorcist I'm on my way".
I turned back to take a pick to who said that . It was a younger lady (40's maybe) and an elder in her 80's, and they were sitting behind me on the subway. Then I face front again and hear in a sort of a whisper "mom it's not an exorcist it's a therapist." I couldn't hold my giggles.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
Where I come from, the Exorcist visits you. Not the other way around.
RELATED:
#2
Sitting in an outdoor area of a cafe with some friends, and a couple of girls walk out of the cafe to where we were sitting.
One of the girls says “I’ll f**k the next guy that talks to me”. Friend of mine jumped up and said “hey how you doing?” (Ala Joey from Friends).. they’ve been married nearly 10 years.
#3
On the London tube, in 2019, a Dutch young lady sat next to me. She was clearly on a "walk of shame", and on the phone, describing, in some detail, last night's sexual endeavours. She was obviously assuming no one could understand what she was saying.
My family was standing close. By the time she was done recounting how she and her date had made love for eight(!) hours, I asked my oldest daughter, who was standing next to me, whether she wanted to sit. In Dutch 😁.
#4
Him "You're being such a b***h, go eat a snickers!"
Her "I'm alergic to peanuts, you a$$hole!"
Him "I know!!"
Bus stops in my old city almost always seemed to have crazy c**p going on.
That tiny x on the pop up add 4 months ago
"Go eat a snickers!" is the best way ever to tell off someone.
#5
In a fast food restaurant, teenage identical twin girls were working together and apparently arguing about something. One turns to the other and says "well you're ugly!".
Savannah greenleaf 5 months ago
I was married to a man that had an identical twin. They got into and argument that lead to a fist. Hands Down funniest fight I have ever seen icing on the cake they kept yelling out "your mom" jokes. I repeat identical twins fighting and trying to put down the other with your mom jokes. It did not occur to them they had the same mother.
#6
Bloke about sixty in Regents Park to a woman of roughly the same age: "Mum's gone lesbian and I don't know what to do."
Circa 1981.
#7
2001, Washington DC, A young couple sitting behind me in a movie theater, waiting to see The Lord of the Rings.
Woman: Is this, like, a made up thing, or did it really happen?
Man: This is real.
Lily Robertson 5 months ago
To be fair, if someone had asked me that question, i probably would have deadpanned the same answer. Followed by, "Look it up! There's a whole series of history books on it!"
#8
A stressed father and his little son in the morning commute rush. The dad yelled at his son for not walking fast enough, with his back turned to the escalator. The son said "but daaad, it's going the wrong way", upon which the dad answered "come on for f**k's sake, stop messing around". Then the dad, still with his back facing the escalator, took a step back on it and just like the boy had stated, the stairs went in the opposite direction- consequently causing the dad to faceplant on the ground in front of the escalator. The dad: "Ooooouch! ..... Daddy was wrong, kiddo....".
#9
Overheard on the phone, "well I’m sure the cat had his reasons, what did the cat therapist say?"
#10
We were are a pizza place. Sitting at a table were a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. Apparently, little girl was learning that "mommy and daddy have real names too" ... but she wasn't getting it.
So grandma asked "what does mommy call daddy?" And the girl just didn't understand. Then grandma asked "What does daddy call mommy?" And the girl's face lit up -- now she understands! And with a huge smile, she answered that daddy calls mommy "A*****e.".
#11
Was at the store and this lady had a small boy who was looking at the candy. He was about 5-6 years old I guess. He wanted some candy, and she said “you will get some tomorrow”
To which he replied
“Bull****t”.
#12
Was on a roadtrip, stopped at In-N-Out for lunch and after ordering I went to use the restroom. I was at the urinal when I heard two little boys (about 5 years old and 8 years old) and their grandpa talking. The older little kid said "I'm sure glad you came on this trip with us Grandpa." The grandpa said "yeah, I'm f*****g glad too", and the littler boy responded with "f**k yeah". I had to try not to laugh.
#13
Whilst wandering around a castle ruin in Scotland, there was a group of youths (ages 10 to 15) walking up the steep, stone stairs from the basements. A chubby boy was lagging behind. When another boy chided him to keep up, chubby boy called out:
"I'M TRYING TO PRESERVE ME LEGS!".
#14
At a big jam band show/hippie festival. "Bro, that wasn't unicorn meat... it was just turkey with glitter!"
#15
I stepped up to the bar to close a tab and was standing next to a couple who I assumed were on a first date. I was only there long enough to hear the guy say “I’m not saying I’d do it. Right? I’m not. I’m just saying that I understand - in the right circumstances, like if you were stuck on an island, for like years - why someone would f**k a sheep…”
If your date said that to you at Cesar’s Killer Margaritas around 2016, I’ve been dying to know how the rest of that conversation went.
#16
I'm cruising the fruits and veggies section at the grocery store, 2 female produce department employees are stocking the banananas. One, likely in training at the time, asks the other "Should the greener ones go at the back?" to which the other replies, "It doesn't matter, a banana's a banana, woman!" Right at that moment, a very large man on a motorized scooter with an oxygen tube in his nose comes around the corner and makes it apparent he only heard the last two words of the employees exchange by shouting "What the hell is a 'banana woman'!?"
I laughed out loud.
#17
I was in target passing the toy section and there was a mid 20s looking woman with her partner. They passed the the hex bugs and she said "oh I remember hex bugs! I used that as my first vibrator as a kid".
#18
I was in a bar and walked past a table of 30-something women, just as one of them slyly said, “I learned something about Chad’s balls last night.”
That was about four years ago and I still wonder what the deal is with Chad’s balls.
#19
My coworker was on her phone during downtime. Became very upset and switched from one call to another.
"He died, mama. No- Mama, he had the dogs. They ate his face."
Froze the room. When she finally ended the call she turned to us and said "Never do fentanyl."
#20
Two nerds were sitting near me on the subway, and I heard one say to the other, "I don't care what anyone says -- *never* trust a ninja.".
#21
I’ve had some classes in psychology and worked in mental health. I live near the university in town and was standing in line at a grocery store when I overheard one young man say to the other, “I heard you have s*icidal tendencies”? I was absolutely mortified for 2.5 seconds until the other young man said, “Yeah, I just got their newest CD”.
RabidChild 5 months ago (edited)
All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me. Institutionalized! I'm not crazy!
#22
While standing in line for the bathroom in a restaurant.
“You don’t always have to poop when you pee, but you always have to pee when you poop.”
So wise.
#23
Girl sitting in front of me during one of my night classes “ omg thanksgiving is on a Thursday AGAIN????”.
#24
I was at an ice cream shop years ago, and a pair of English tourists were ahead of me, looking so cliche I could hardly stand it. He was skinny, hunched and balding, she was tall, broad shouldered, brash.
They got their cones, and the husband’s was a triple scoop in a waffle cone. His wife looked at it and, sounding like a Monty Python pepperpot (when they’re in drag), said “OOH! It’s a BIG one, Nigel!”
#25
I saw these two guys arguing and one of them yells "Ij t vatt ca uallr" (neapolitan lol) that literally means "I'll beat you up with my ball sack".
Lily Robertson 5 months ago
Now, there's a man who doesn't have to drive a jumped up giant truck!
#26
I was at Chick Fil A breaking up with my ex fiancé, when a mom was dragging her kid out of the play area.
Kid: “how did you even see me go in there?!”
Mom: “I have eyes everywhere, baby”
Kid: “…even on your BUTT?!”.
#27
Couple standing at the self-service till in the supermarket. The woman goes to get her purse out of her bag and complains to her boyfriend that the ‘zip on zip’ is broken. He looks puzzled and asks her what a zip on zip is. She stares at him in incomprehension and gestures at the zip on her bag and says ‘The zip on zip! What do you think I mean?’. Both he and most of the queue behind them look at the zip on the bag, trying to work out what it is that makes it a zip on zip. There is nothing special about it. It is just a zip. He stares at it for awhile and then, in the voice of one who knows he is probably about to be yelled at, asks he if she just means the zip. She throws her hands up in the air and storms off, leaving him to pay for the shopping. He turns to the queue with a confused look on his face, like he is questioning his sense of reality. We all give him sympathetic smiles that aim to communicate that we have no bloody clue what she was going on about either.
#28
Sitting in my car outside a Blockbuster, when Blockbusters were a thing.
Manager, to a dude: "There's no loitering here, sir."
Dude: "I'm not loitering, I'm just standing here."
Manager: "That's what loitering MEANS, dumb*ss."
#29
"Hardest thing being a dom is the guys keep falling in love with you" between two girls talking, late night at a taco stand.
#30
Bartending in the west village one night, two pretty stereotypical finance-type guys are sitting having drinks and one says to the other with the utmost sincerity, “man, i just want what monica and chandler have. *that’s* true love!”.
#32
"She ain't goin to the club, I guarantee it. She don't drop it low for nobody but Jesus."
-some girl on the phone in the university library.
Isa 5 months ago
J̌ésus hernandez, jumped in excitement when he heard his name, thinking that finally the girl that he has been stalking for a long time, is going to finally be his...he couldn't wait till he have her in his arms. Jésus was really proud with himself for going to the library on that day and heard such wonderful news...
#33
At the ren fair one year my friend and I overheard a woman with a stroller say "shut up or you're going in the dumpster."
#34
"John Lennon was a talentless hack. Now Tupac, he could write a song." Two teenagers on a train, suburban Australia, early 2000s.
#35
At a tattoo expo overheard a dude say " I'm gonna get a tattoo above one of my nips that says smile you're on camera".
#36
While food running at a previous restaurant job I heard a 12yo say “and that’s when I called CPS”.
#37
A man standing at urinal stall yelling “cmoooooon P*NISSS”.
#38
"She fit in the closet perfectly."
Boredest Panda 5 months ago
It’s the new trend. Ditch the clothes in the actually closet, wear the closet instead!
#39
"Well it's different for you - you've got veins!"
On the bus.
Stephanie Did It 5 months ago
I'm of mostly Bavarian and Scandinavian descent, with fair skin and very prominent veins in my hands and arms. More than once, I've been asked what's "wrong" with me with all that blue showing under my skin. My answer is Well, I'm really white and you can sort of see through me...
#40
“Being gay is a religion.”
What do you think ?
Jeremy James 5 months ago
I was walking by the Beverly Center in L.A. and I saw a woman in her 70's and a younger woman in her 20's coming towards me on the sidewalk. As they passed, I heard the older woman say, "Now, my husband's safe-word will be broomstick..."
Lee Banks 5 months ago
Some poor soul overhead a conversation between my person, and I. "Babe. Ben Shapiro. Just remember Ben Shapiro. Least sexy thing that ever happened."
Load More Replies...
Chewie Baron 5 months ago
I was sat behind two elderly men on a bus once. They were talking about Jack Russells, and at one point, one man says “I don’t know why they do, but they do seem to have issues”
Edward Finger Hands 4 months ago (edited)
One of my favorites: in the catacombs beneath Paris. A man to his date (whom he was obviously trying to impress) “the nose bones are the most fragile, that’s why they’re all broken off the skulls.” She nodded pensively. 🙄🤦♀️
Donna Peluda 4 months ago
In a pub in UK, behind the bar 2 Spanish girls. I speak Spanish, she said in quite a loud voice, I told him, you can take me out to dinner, but you want pussy it's cash upfront.
Richard Graham 4 months ago
There was a strike of cab drivers. The buses were packed. A very elegant older woman gets on the bus, sits grandly down, and says to the bus driver "Cathedral Mansions Apartments, please." Everybody on the packed bus broke out laughing.
Stephanie Did It 5 months ago
In a Los Angeles restaurant: Two burly men were in the booth next to us, and one said to the other, "I'm going to the john. Don't break anything and don't hurt anybody."
OneHappyPuppy 4 months ago
My cousin was walking down a street recounting her difficult morning wake up to us since she was staying at my aunt's place for the summer, and my aunt had a chihuahua back then. A bunch of poor souls stared in disbelief at us when they overheard a segment of her story - "...she kept licking and licking me, but her breath stank like hell..." I burst out laughing
CanadianDimes 4 months ago
My next door neighbour when I lived in New Jersey, to her teenage son: "Get in the car or I'm taking this sandwich and going to Newark!"
Chocolate Chip 4 months ago
One time In middle school I walked out into the courtyard during lunch and noticed a 7th grade girl crying. As I walked by, she said to her friend "I just can't believe he dumped me for a bag of Takis."
James Anthony 4 months ago
One day when I still attended church, a young kid was in a pew swinging a rosary around and around quietly...when the priest stopped talking he started spinning the rosary faster and yelled "HANG ON, JESUS!' His parents couldn't get him out of the church fast enough, lol.
Pill Nathan Whitely 4 months ago
Downtown Seattle bus stop. An apparently homeless man approaches a young woman who looks like an office worker. Politely asks for her number. She very nicely agrees to give him her work number. He produces an avocado. "Here, write it on this." (She produced a piece of paper to use.) At a different downtown Seattle bus stop, an apparently homeless man comes along trying to sell ONE white, knee high, high heeled boot. No takers there, so he moved along.
Adam Benson 4 months ago (edited)
This reminds me of a young woman talking on her phone in a supermarket. As I walked past I heard her saying 'and I told him if he ever does that again, I'm cutting it off!' I didn't hang around to hear the rest of the conversation.
Marnie 4 months ago
Not an "overheard" conversation, but the funniest thing I heard coming in in the middle of a discussion was on the radio. I turned it on, and a woman said, "No, no! You can GENTLY plow turtles."
Marnie 4 months ago (edited)
It became a running joke with me and my friend to say this whenever we felt lost in a conversation.
Load More Replies... 
Lucky Hemlock 4 months ago (edited)
I was at my friend's wedding, and his younger sister was sitting with us at the reception. I didn't hear what she said to him, but he turned to her, and in a soft voice, said, "You know, you could be a supermodel if you'd just stop picking your scabs." It took all my willpower not to bust up laughing.
Vorpal 42 4 months ago
I did jury duty. During a break i had a technical support call in front of the other jurors. I said "Have you checked the phantoms?", "Kill the daemons and restart them", and stuff like that. The jurors were all perplexed at my side of the conversation. I hung up and one little old lady comes up to me and says: "It's Unix, isn't it?".
Captain Newt 4 months ago
Overheard on the bus: "...the production of this animated movie was brutal. Disney even convinced Tchaikovsky himself to compose a suite for one of the segments..."
BookFanatic 4 months ago
I had the pleasure of overhearing a small girl try to convince her grandpa that he needed a pair of mice (I was at a pet store). Grandpa asked why he needed mice. "You could wear them as earmuffs!"
Robert E Smith 4 months ago
I used to work in a print shop. One day, one of the salesmen came down to chat with my boss. I heard them talking about golf courses, then I had the press running. I couldn't hear what they were saying until I turned the press off and heard the salesman say "I heard they were going to start letting JEWS in there." I busted out laughing and they looked at me like I was insane.
General Stukov 4 months ago
We had a guy and girl come in to Gamestop and the guy smelled of p**s and alcohol. She kept trying to whisper "you know you get like this when you're drunk. And the dude, drunkest look I've seen to this day and says, "well if I'm drunk then you're sexy" they aren't a couple. They are brother and sister and this is south Carolina yall, not arkansas
Wally Mahar 4 months ago (edited)
My bestie friend Kim and I were walking around Central Park, singing like we were Ann-Margret and Neil Diamond. The pigeons were hopping around us, and we were having a grand time. Then, out of nowhere, a little girl dressed like an Addams Family version of Madeline came running up. She jumped really hard, scattering all the birds and yelled, ‘I hate parties!’ She continued jumping around, chasing every bird in sight. Wide-eyed, we looked at each other, stunned, and quietly turned to walk away. It took us a while before we started singing again. I’m thinking of making an AI movie short with all these quotes… but who knows if that’ll actually happen
HI, I'M A SHOUTY MAN 5 months ago
"I'm sure it's fine, I mean m&m's don't have eyes or ears, do they?" "Or mouths" - a random conversation heard walking past the bubblers at school one lunch.
Jill Waters 4 months ago
I was walking through a local market, past a jewellery stall when the owner says” you put them in the bottom hole and the wings go right up your ear”
Leslie Donsen 4 months ago
I was sitting in the ER late one night when paramedics came in with a woman on a stretcher. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Get the alien off me !!" I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
Jeremy James 5 months ago
I was walking by the Beverly Center in L.A. and I saw a woman in her 70's and a younger woman in her 20's coming towards me on the sidewalk. As they passed, I heard the older woman say, "Now, my husband's safe-word will be broomstick..."
Lee Banks 5 months ago
Some poor soul overhead a conversation between my person, and I. "Babe. Ben Shapiro. Just remember Ben Shapiro. Least sexy thing that ever happened."
Load More Replies... Chewie Baron 5 months ago
I was sat behind two elderly men on a bus once. They were talking about Jack Russells, and at one point, one man says “I don’t know why they do, but they do seem to have issues”
Edward Finger Hands 4 months ago (edited)
One of my favorites: in the catacombs beneath Paris. A man to his date (whom he was obviously trying to impress) “the nose bones are the most fragile, that’s why they’re all broken off the skulls.” She nodded pensively. 🙄🤦♀️
Donna Peluda 4 months ago
In a pub in UK, behind the bar 2 Spanish girls. I speak Spanish, she said in quite a loud voice, I told him, you can take me out to dinner, but you want pussy it's cash upfront.
Richard Graham 4 months ago
There was a strike of cab drivers. The buses were packed. A very elegant older woman gets on the bus, sits grandly down, and says to the bus driver "Cathedral Mansions Apartments, please." Everybody on the packed bus broke out laughing.
Stephanie Did It 5 months ago
In a Los Angeles restaurant: Two burly men were in the booth next to us, and one said to the other, "I'm going to the john. Don't break anything and don't hurt anybody."
OneHappyPuppy 4 months ago
My cousin was walking down a street recounting her difficult morning wake up to us since she was staying at my aunt's place for the summer, and my aunt had a chihuahua back then. A bunch of poor souls stared in disbelief at us when they overheard a segment of her story - "...she kept licking and licking me, but her breath stank like hell..." I burst out laughing
CanadianDimes 4 months ago
My next door neighbour when I lived in New Jersey, to her teenage son: "Get in the car or I'm taking this sandwich and going to Newark!"
Chocolate Chip 4 months ago
One time In middle school I walked out into the courtyard during lunch and noticed a 7th grade girl crying. As I walked by, she said to her friend "I just can't believe he dumped me for a bag of Takis."
James Anthony 4 months ago
One day when I still attended church, a young kid was in a pew swinging a rosary around and around quietly...when the priest stopped talking he started spinning the rosary faster and yelled "HANG ON, JESUS!' His parents couldn't get him out of the church fast enough, lol.
Pill Nathan Whitely 4 months ago
Downtown Seattle bus stop. An apparently homeless man approaches a young woman who looks like an office worker. Politely asks for her number. She very nicely agrees to give him her work number. He produces an avocado. "Here, write it on this." (She produced a piece of paper to use.) At a different downtown Seattle bus stop, an apparently homeless man comes along trying to sell ONE white, knee high, high heeled boot. No takers there, so he moved along.
Adam Benson 4 months ago (edited)
This reminds me of a young woman talking on her phone in a supermarket. As I walked past I heard her saying 'and I told him if he ever does that again, I'm cutting it off!' I didn't hang around to hear the rest of the conversation.
Marnie 4 months ago
Not an "overheard" conversation, but the funniest thing I heard coming in in the middle of a discussion was on the radio. I turned it on, and a woman said, "No, no! You can GENTLY plow turtles."
Marnie 4 months ago (edited)
It became a running joke with me and my friend to say this whenever we felt lost in a conversation.
Load More Replies... Lucky Hemlock 4 months ago (edited)
I was at my friend's wedding, and his younger sister was sitting with us at the reception. I didn't hear what she said to him, but he turned to her, and in a soft voice, said, "You know, you could be a supermodel if you'd just stop picking your scabs." It took all my willpower not to bust up laughing.
Vorpal 42 4 months ago
I did jury duty. During a break i had a technical support call in front of the other jurors. I said "Have you checked the phantoms?", "Kill the daemons and restart them", and stuff like that. The jurors were all perplexed at my side of the conversation. I hung up and one little old lady comes up to me and says: "It's Unix, isn't it?".
Captain Newt 4 months ago
Overheard on the bus: "...the production of this animated movie was brutal. Disney even convinced Tchaikovsky himself to compose a suite for one of the segments..."
BookFanatic 4 months ago
I had the pleasure of overhearing a small girl try to convince her grandpa that he needed a pair of mice (I was at a pet store). Grandpa asked why he needed mice. "You could wear them as earmuffs!"
Robert E Smith 4 months ago
I used to work in a print shop. One day, one of the salesmen came down to chat with my boss. I heard them talking about golf courses, then I had the press running. I couldn't hear what they were saying until I turned the press off and heard the salesman say "I heard they were going to start letting JEWS in there." I busted out laughing and they looked at me like I was insane.
General Stukov 4 months ago
We had a guy and girl come in to Gamestop and the guy smelled of p**s and alcohol. She kept trying to whisper "you know you get like this when you're drunk. And the dude, drunkest look I've seen to this day and says, "well if I'm drunk then you're sexy" they aren't a couple. They are brother and sister and this is south Carolina yall, not arkansas
Wally Mahar 4 months ago (edited)
My bestie friend Kim and I were walking around Central Park, singing like we were Ann-Margret and Neil Diamond. The pigeons were hopping around us, and we were having a grand time. Then, out of nowhere, a little girl dressed like an Addams Family version of Madeline came running up. She jumped really hard, scattering all the birds and yelled, ‘I hate parties!’ She continued jumping around, chasing every bird in sight. Wide-eyed, we looked at each other, stunned, and quietly turned to walk away. It took us a while before we started singing again. I’m thinking of making an AI movie short with all these quotes… but who knows if that’ll actually happen
HI, I'M A SHOUTY MAN 5 months ago
"I'm sure it's fine, I mean m&m's don't have eyes or ears, do they?" "Or mouths" - a random conversation heard walking past the bubblers at school one lunch.
Jill Waters 4 months ago
I was walking through a local market, past a jewellery stall when the owner says” you put them in the bottom hole and the wings go right up your ear”
Leslie Donsen 4 months ago
I was sitting in the ER late one night when paramedics came in with a woman on a stretcher. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Get the alien off me !!" I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
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