ADVERTISEMENT

There's no bond between two people more special than marriage. At least in the beginning. But like most special things, it slowly becomes less special with time, and before you know it you're being forced to share your pizza with a person who won't even let you use their iPhone charger, even though they always use yours. Sound familiar? Then check out this list of 2016's funniest tweets about marriage. Compiled by Bored Panda, the collection is sure to have every married person secretly nodding in agreement. Don't forget to vote for the funniest!

#7

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ericsshadow Report

Add photo comments
POST
Juana
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe try doing your dishes and picking up your garbage before she walks in. Just a thought.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
#27

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

MUMSIEesq Report

Add photo comments
POST
Tabitha Trevino
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate buying toilet paper. I always buy multiple big packs. Why the dread I don't know

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#34

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheCatWhisprer Report

Add photo comments
POST
BobbyK
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, she was always TOO hot. Window open - 20 degrees - I freeze. Now she is TOO cold. Thermostat set to boiling. I melt. Ain't love grand?!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheCatWhisprer Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#42

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

XplodingUnicorn Report

Add photo comments
POST
Sreejith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

anyway you collected all of those to one place... Good work fella

#48

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ian_mendes Report

Add photo comments
POST
Shari H
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then the person who finally realizes the trash is at max capacity getting mad that the other person didn't take it out sooner. 20+ years of successful marriage here folks, still pushing down the garbage...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#49

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

XplodingUnicorn Report

Add photo comments
POST
Cassie
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I pick the brand of TP. My hubby either approves of my choice or doesn't care as long as he has something to wipe his bottom with. Not sure which it is, but it's probably the latter.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
#59

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

XplodingUnicorn Report

Add photo comments
POST
Abbie Smith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was telling my husband this, I just gave him the stare for the wife blank, he thought he honestly did something wrong xD

View more commentsArrow down menu
#61

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

iwearaonesie Report

Add photo comments
POST
over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Sets Wal-Mart alarm clocks to go off in one minute intervals ten minutes from now. Waits and watches a safe distance away.*

#62

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

david8hughes Report

Add photo comments
POST
over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lmao. How excited the hubby gets when he wins a $50 pro-line (Ontario Canada sports lottery)

View more commentsArrow down menu
#64

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Mr_Kapowski Report

Add photo comments
POST
Elaina Moss
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yea...oh hey, did you need help with that? No, I got it now...that it's done...

View more commentsArrow down menu
#65

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Rlpihl Report

Add photo comments
POST
JillVille Child Care
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If all those boxes contain costumes, I want that basement! Oh the fun we could have!!

ADVERTISEMENT
#68

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TwoSapphiresBlu Report

Add photo comments
POST
over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men like when you're around but not in there way. They hate being alone but don't bother them... especially during play offs.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#71

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ericsshadow Report

Add photo comments
POST
Steve Moore
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever try to convince your beloved that , contrary to his/her misapprehension, there are TWO a's in "caramel" ? Really gets up my nose when I hear "carmel."

ADVERTISEMENT
#74

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

david8hughes Report

Add photo comments
POST
#81

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

cameronesposito Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#82

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

KalvinMacleod Report

Add photo comments
POST
#85

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ashleyaustrew Report

Add photo comments
POST
#87

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

DowntimeDad Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#91

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

moooooog35 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#95

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
#96

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ashleyaustrew Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#99

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

mommy_cusses Report

Add photo comments
POST
#101

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ashleyaustrew Report

Add photo comments
POST
#102

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

sarcasticmommy4 Report

#103

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

rockymomax Report

#104

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ange_spange Report

Add photo comments
POST
#105

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheCatWhisprer Report

Add photo comments
POST
Steve Moore
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cor, I don't half envy this bloke. I "get" to store my knickers in a drawer of our bedroom's entertainment centre !

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#106

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheCatWhisprer Report

Add photo comments
POST
#108

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Camel_Crushin Report

Add photo comments
POST
#109

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Mr_Kapowski Report

Add photo comments
POST
#111

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

usedwigs Report

Add photo comments
POST
#113

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#114

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

KalvinMacleod Report

Add photo comments
POST
#115

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#116

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

WorkingMom86 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#118

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

rockymomax Report

Add photo comments
POST
#120

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

LurkAtHomeMom Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#122

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

DenielleBuckley Report

Add photo comments
POST
#123

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

LizHackett Report

Add photo comments
POST
#125

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
#126

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

KalvinMacleod Report

Add photo comments
POST
#127

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

BetJett Report

Add photo comments
POST
#128

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

WorkingMom86 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#131

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Mr_Kapowski Report

Add photo comments
POST
#133

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheMichaelRock Report

Add photo comments
POST
Lauren Frank
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

During an argument: Me: that’s not logical. It doesn’t make any sense. W: I DON’T CARE Me: well ok then. I guess you win

#134

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

OneFunnyMotha Report

Add photo comments
POST
Claire Mellusco
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The entire place is soaked and the brand new bottle of bathroom spray is half empty, that's how I tell.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#135

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
#136

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

AndyAsAdjective Report

Add photo comments
POST
#137

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

ashleyaustrew Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#138

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

DrMikeLloyd Report

Add photo comments
POST
#141

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

scorpicpanda Report

Add photo comments
POST
#142

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheCatWhisprer Report

Add photo comments
POST
#143

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

kateb861 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#144

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

heyheykatiek Report

Add photo comments
POST
#145

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#146

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheMichaelRock Report

Add photo comments
POST
#147

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

WalkingOutside Report

Add photo comments
POST
#148

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Gooooats Report

Add photo comments
POST
#149

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

AndyAsAdjective Report

Add photo comments
POST
#150

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

Mr_Kapowski Report

Add photo comments
POST
#151

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

iwearaonesie Report

Add photo comments
POST
#152

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

lindork Report

Add photo comments
POST
Lucy Sharp
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one I disagree with. I'm a bit OCD in the sense that I like the dishes next to the sink and not in the sink...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#153

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#154

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

moooooog35 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#156

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#157

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

LurkAtHomeMom Report

Add photo comments
POST
#158

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

msDaynaM Report

Add photo comments
POST
#159

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

TheMichaelRock Report

Add photo comments
POST
Cassandra Johnson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is this not higher up? All I can hear is that sound now... It's unnerving...

#160

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

lanceburson Report

Add photo comments
POST
#161

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
Jennifer Crompton
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ooooh this is a touchy one. You have to split up the job here. Wife packs the bags, husband packs the car and neither are allowed input on the other's part. It's the only way to stay married. Lol

ADVERTISEMENT
#163

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

DrunkAtThePTA Report

Add photo comments
POST
Amanda H.
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents recently celebrated their 16th anniversary and my dad still wakes my mom up every dat for a goodbye kiss. Sometimes she complaints cuz she wants to sleep. It's hilarious.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#164

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

PetrickSara Report

Add photo comments
POST
#165

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

GlitzyCoilz Report

Add photo comments
POST
#167

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

iwearaonesie Report

Add photo comments
POST
#168

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

iwearaonesie Report

Add photo comments
POST
#169

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

BsmallsB29 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#170

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

girlontapas Report

Add photo comments
POST
Jennifer Crompton
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Balding in men, especially men that go bald on the young side, is caused by high levels of testosterone. I think women are subconsciously attracted to men with high testosterone. That's my theory on why most bald men are already taken 😉

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#171

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

iwearaonesie Report

Add photo comments
POST
#172

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

WorkingMom86 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#173

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

LurkAtHomeMom Report

Add photo comments
POST
#174

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

PoojaRanaTweets Report

Add photo comments
POST
#175

Funniest Marriage Tweets 2016

simoncholland Report

Add photo comments
POST
#176

This submission is hidden. Click here to view.

#177

This submission is hidden. Click here to view.

ADVERTISEMENT