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19
Woman Threatens Legal Action After Friend’s Roommate Steals From Her, The Truth Finally Comes Out
Interview With Author
Roommate problems – who hasn’t had them? According to Georgetown University, one-third of college students report having problems with their roommates. Sometimes it’s not doing the dishes, other times it’s listening to loud music at night, but most roommates are able to end things with civility.
What’s not cool is when your friends and roommates start stealing from you, and then they have the gall to gaslight you about it. That’s what happened to this woman when she offered a friend to stay at her place for free. And when she confronted the friend about it, all he had to say was that she’s “Really messing up [his] day.”
Bored Panda reached out to the woman who shared this story, u/RoommateMovingOut. She kindly agreed to share more details about the whole situation and why she won’t let anyone stay at her place, at least for a little while.
RELATED:
A friend’s stay at her apartment became quite a headache for a woman when some personal things disappeared after his stay
Image credits: davidgyung / Envato (not the actual photo)
The woman shared the story with the Internet, asking if she’s overreacting
Image credits: RoommateMovingOut
This is what the woman’s correspondence with her friend looked like
Image credits: RoommateMovingOut
The author said she finds it hard to understand why they would steal the hard drive, as it was mostly just personal stuff
People said the woman is under-reacting and needs to involve the authorities ASAP
After she filed a police report, the friend finally got in touch: “This is really messing up my day”
Image credits: RoommateMovingOut
A couple of days later, the woman got her stuff back, but not without a few hiccups
Image credits: MikeShots / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Joyseulay / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RoommateMovingOut
The woman tells us she only knew her “friend” for a couple of years, but felt a strong connection
As she only posted her update yesterday, the Redditor is still grappling with her decision to get the authorities involved. She’s also not sure about what to do in the future, whether to pursue legal action against her former friend or not. “I am still feeling very conflicted – more so than I put in my update post,” u/RoommateMovingOut revealed to Bored Panda.
She also told us the friend’s name, but asked us not to publicize it. “I’ve known [him] since I moved to Toronto in 2022,” the Redditor gives some background about her and her ex-friend’s relationship.
“We are both graduate students but at different universities. I met him through a mutual friend – she has known him since elementary school. We weren’t so close that we would hang out on our own, but we saw each other regularly with my close friend (and other friends): potlucks, trips to the bar, the movies.”
“I don’t have many friends in Toronto, so I was grateful to be part of a small group of people who welcomed me,” the Redditor goes on. “I found him in particular funny. He had a self-deprecating sense of humor, but he was also sweet and quick with compliments. He was often down on himself or down on his luck, but he was not an attention-seeker.”
The man’s friends knew he was struggling financially, and now the OP sees some red flags she might have missed
Image credits: kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Their financial situations, however, were very different. Whereas the “friend” was struggling, the OP was in a better boat when it came to money. “He had a lot of debt from student loans, and I was fortunate in that my parents helped me pay for my education,” she tells Bored Panda.
“Starting in September, four friends (including him) and I had been doing a weekly potluck,” she adds. “He hosted in October, and I really felt the high stress of his living situation. That night ended with him shutting down and shutting us out. Because it was someone I knew so well I didn’t think twice when it came to offering him my place for the month,” the OP says.
However, she now sees the red flags she might’ve missed when he was staying in her apartment back in November. She says he wouldn’t communicate as well as she’ would have liked. “I would have to follow up multiple times and would rarely get a response,” u/RoommateMovingOut recalls. “And the few times I tried calling him, he made an excuse that he couldn’t talk.”
The Redditor doesn’t feel like revenge is the best course of action here, and she feels conflicted about what to do next
Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual)
We asked the Redditor how she felt when she got the call from a stranger claiming to have her stuff. “The call really stressed me out,” she admits. “I thought at first I was being pranked. I had shared the post with my fiancé and I know he told some friends, and I thought maybe someone was messing with me. I almost hung up the phone right away.”
“The caller was very matter-of-fact and no nonsense. She seemed annoyed by the situation. She basically outlined what they could return and what they sold and said if I want it back, I could have it, and we could forget it happened. I think, because she sounded so emotionless about it, that I was more annoyed with her than angry. I called my dad right away afterwards,” the OP says.
However, she is still very conflicted about taking legal action. “I talked to my sister who said it’s basically weaponizing the justice system, which feels really unfair too, especially now that I got a lot of the stuff back,” u/RoommateMovingOut says.
“To be completely honest, it doesn’t feel balanced. I feel a giant pit in my stomach when I think about being lied to by someone I trusted. But I’m not convinced that my own hurt is enough to justify ruining his life. Half the time I feel like ‘He can go to hell!’ and the other half I feel like I just want this all to go away.”
Luckily, support and kind words from other netizens is helping u/RoommateMovingOut to stay level-headed. “A lot of people shared their experience with me through comments and messages. Many said that experiences like mine have led them to have less trust in others.”
“I don’t know if I am there personally, but I can empathize with their pain,” she admits. “I think the only concrete lesson so far for me is that there is often a lot more going on in a person’s life than they are willing to share. I can at least say with certainty that I won’t let anyone stay at my place for a while,” she adds.
“This person was never your friend,” people passed their verdicts in the comments
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What do you think ?
Mark Childers 1 month ago
I live in a very popular vacation area, and people have come out of the woodwork to come "visit" me when all they really want is a free place to stay. I caught on pretty quickly and put a stop to it, but I swear, every time, something of mine went missing. Now if someone asks to come "visit," I let them know what hotels are around me. So much for "friends." The fact that he didn't clean up after himself told her how much he respected her.
Mike F 1 month ago
And she will be notice things missing for months. Things she doesn't use every day, little things she will notice missing.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 1 month ago
What a story! I think OP's first mistake was saying:"Don't worry about the mess!" When you help someone out by letting them crash at your place for a month I would surely expect them to take care of that place!!
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I did like the "didn't show where the cleaning stuff was" - it's ALWAYS under the sink if you don't have kids.
Load More Replies...
Lena Flising 1 month ago
She didn't show him where the cleaning stuff was? If he can find hidden knives and jewlery, he can find the cleaning stuff too.
Tabitha 1 month ago
If he’ll steal from someone doing him a favor, just imagine how much will go missing if he gets that government job—-and the taxpayers will end up footing the bill for it. That job will be there for someone who deserves it AND is of way better character than that selfish, whiny, deceitful a*****e. That loss will be a wonderful consequence for his actions, and one that’s 100% self-inflicted. Remember he had the choice to NOT steal from OP, and with his graduation and the chance at starting a career in a government agency coming up so soon, he could have restrained himself and not commit a crime. But. He. Didn’t. It’s all on him, and his equally dishonest friend, no one else.
Barbara Deskins 1 month ago
I had a roommate move out and take some of my things. He said it was an 'accident' that my pressure washer was taken. He said he would get it to me next week. Months went by then he ghosted me. THEN...I got pissed. So I pressed charges. He finally got in touch with me (now about ! 1/2 years after he moved) asking me to drop the charges That he spent week in jail because of it. I said I would drop the charges when I received a new pressure washer. After it arrived, I took my sweet a$$ time dropping the charges
John McCabe-Dansted 1 month ago
One thing that wasn't mentioned. If you recover the drive and find that it is wiped, do NOT assume that your files are gone. Much like books, harddrives have an index. The standard way of wiping a HDD just removes the index. The PhotoRec tool ignores the index and will just scan your disk page by page looking for your files and photos, dumping them in an unorganized pile. There are also paid tools that are likely to be able to recover your files original filenames etc, and they may have free versions. Even if they have done a "full" format a forensic lab may be able to recover the files (But not for cheap).
ButFirstCoffee 1 month ago
Ah the good old days when thieves' hand were branded. I would press charges regardless and send them to jail. Otherwise, they will never learn.
Remi (He/Him) 1 month ago
All of the so called friend's behavior - trashed apartment, awful living conditions, stealing, lying and deflecting blame - practically screams of d**g addiction
CBolt 4 weeks ago
Why would yr post get downvoted? (I just upvoted it.) The kinds of things that were stolen - easy to sell fast - are also indicative.
Load More Replies...
Skylar Jaxx 2 days ago
Nope when he had the audacity to leave the house trashed. Like HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARASSED? How can you leave someone's house disgusting?
tori Ohno 1 month ago
If they sold those knives on the marketplace, there's a record of the buyer. I'd send the cops after them. The thieves/sellers will owe the buyers the money back, and the buyers will have to hand them over or risk prosecution for buying stolen goods. A friend of mine had to deal with that once. The buyer is considered a criminal as well if they don't give the goods back. Beware what you buy.
Kenneth A. Morris 2 days ago
It may be too late for this comment ...but I hope not for your sake ... I would definitely move,, get a roommate to stay with me ,,, you do not know what these people may do especially if you do file police action .... they may mug you they may rob you.. or they could hurt you ...if I was you I'd be extremely careful
Opal 2 weeks ago (edited)
This story triggered my anger towards people in life who have no qualms about stealing from friends & lie outright about doing so! I had a similar experience. A few years ago, I was befriended by a woman whom I met at a mutual friend's house. We hit it off and she was looking for a place to stay (she was staying at a hotel at the time). I suggested that she could stay at my apartment in exchange for helping me out (I'm on disability) plus to pay just 1/3 of the amount of rent I was paying for the apartment. Let's just say long story short, she ended up stealing $3000 USD worth of money & possessions of mine; various other things she did had made my life a living heck for 4 months (at which point I moved out & had to forfeit my SD). She gaslighted me too; I called the police about my stuff but they couldn't be bothered. Why do so many people disregard the well known commandment "thou shall not steal"?!
CBolt 4 weeks ago (edited)
OK, I didn't read all the Reddit posts & haven't read all the BP posts yet ..... because I'm too busy screaming & setting my hair on fire. OP is rightly upset abt some of the stolen things but is mystified abt the hard drive, why somebody would steal & try to sell it - it only has personal stuff on it. YEAH!!!!! So I'm in my 1st screaming fit abt "personal stuff," because it probably includes financial info & passwords. Then, to my relief, somebody on Reddit tells OP that's exactly why it was taken & to change all her passwords, etc. BUT, OP's response? "Fortunately," she has the hard drive's serial # so "even if it's recovered & wiped" she'll know it's hers. 2nd screaming fit. Really????? Has she never heard of identity theft? Once it happens, it follows you the rest of your life. (You can read all the terrifying details in the FTC website as well as what to do once you realize you've been victimized.) People this naive & iignorant should have a 24/7 keeper - & not be allowed on the internet - & not be allowed to choose her own so-called friends. How do people like this make it thru life without some close supervision & assistance? Nevertheless, it's great that she got some things back - but I'm just sick abt the knives - they seemed to be of particular importance to OP. Geez.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago
When I was first home from the two hospitals? Main/physiotherapy. I had a "friend" stay with me, he said that he'd lost his job due to the Pandemic, or so he said. I later found out he'd been fired. I said when I got my "going home" date and saw his post? "Hey, maybe we could help each other out! I'll need help with things like taking my bins out and a bit of cleaning and you can get up to the jobcentre from here etc!"... Biggest mistake ever. He never lifted a finger to help clean, dirty dishes/plates everywhere, accused me of trying to get him hooked on my painkillers, which never ever happened, they were in a lockbox for which I wore the key for on a long necklace, always on me. I could've been prosecuted for that as its "distribution of a controlled substance". I kicked him out. I'd bought him a cheap phone. I got that blocked after kicking him out. He did steal other things such as a rare DVD which I found for sale online, reported that, got it blocked...
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago
There is a whole load more but to save space? Kick the using f*cker out. Report it to the police as necessary, report everything that's happened because? People like this? Will not learn until they HAVE to learn by facing charges or getting visits from the police. They may try and smear your own self/name but let them. The Truth Will Out. True friends will know You and the Truth...... True Friends won't steal, lie, try and get whatever they can out of you... True Friends are with you, whatever you're going through... And will not try and Hurt you.
Load More Replies... Grenelda Thurber 1 month ago
The classic rage/charm/self-pity triad. He's trying out all the angles.
Mark Childers 1 month ago
I live in a very popular vacation area, and people have come out of the woodwork to come "visit" me when all they really want is a free place to stay. I caught on pretty quickly and put a stop to it, but I swear, every time, something of mine went missing. Now if someone asks to come "visit," I let them know what hotels are around me. So much for "friends." The fact that he didn't clean up after himself told her how much he respected her.
Mike F 1 month ago
And she will be notice things missing for months. Things she doesn't use every day, little things she will notice missing.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 1 month ago
What a story! I think OP's first mistake was saying:"Don't worry about the mess!" When you help someone out by letting them crash at your place for a month I would surely expect them to take care of that place!!
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I did like the "didn't show where the cleaning stuff was" - it's ALWAYS under the sink if you don't have kids.
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 month ago
She didn't show him where the cleaning stuff was? If he can find hidden knives and jewlery, he can find the cleaning stuff too.
Tabitha 1 month ago
If he’ll steal from someone doing him a favor, just imagine how much will go missing if he gets that government job—-and the taxpayers will end up footing the bill for it. That job will be there for someone who deserves it AND is of way better character than that selfish, whiny, deceitful a*****e. That loss will be a wonderful consequence for his actions, and one that’s 100% self-inflicted. Remember he had the choice to NOT steal from OP, and with his graduation and the chance at starting a career in a government agency coming up so soon, he could have restrained himself and not commit a crime. But. He. Didn’t. It’s all on him, and his equally dishonest friend, no one else.
Barbara Deskins 1 month ago
I had a roommate move out and take some of my things. He said it was an 'accident' that my pressure washer was taken. He said he would get it to me next week. Months went by then he ghosted me. THEN...I got pissed. So I pressed charges. He finally got in touch with me (now about ! 1/2 years after he moved) asking me to drop the charges That he spent week in jail because of it. I said I would drop the charges when I received a new pressure washer. After it arrived, I took my sweet a$$ time dropping the charges
John McCabe-Dansted 1 month ago
One thing that wasn't mentioned. If you recover the drive and find that it is wiped, do NOT assume that your files are gone. Much like books, harddrives have an index. The standard way of wiping a HDD just removes the index. The PhotoRec tool ignores the index and will just scan your disk page by page looking for your files and photos, dumping them in an unorganized pile. There are also paid tools that are likely to be able to recover your files original filenames etc, and they may have free versions. Even if they have done a "full" format a forensic lab may be able to recover the files (But not for cheap).
ButFirstCoffee 1 month ago
Ah the good old days when thieves' hand were branded. I would press charges regardless and send them to jail. Otherwise, they will never learn.
Remi (He/Him) 1 month ago
All of the so called friend's behavior - trashed apartment, awful living conditions, stealing, lying and deflecting blame - practically screams of d**g addiction
CBolt 4 weeks ago
Why would yr post get downvoted? (I just upvoted it.) The kinds of things that were stolen - easy to sell fast - are also indicative.
Load More Replies... Skylar Jaxx 2 days ago
Nope when he had the audacity to leave the house trashed. Like HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARASSED? How can you leave someone's house disgusting?
tori Ohno 1 month ago
If they sold those knives on the marketplace, there's a record of the buyer. I'd send the cops after them. The thieves/sellers will owe the buyers the money back, and the buyers will have to hand them over or risk prosecution for buying stolen goods. A friend of mine had to deal with that once. The buyer is considered a criminal as well if they don't give the goods back. Beware what you buy.
Kenneth A. Morris 2 days ago
It may be too late for this comment ...but I hope not for your sake ... I would definitely move,, get a roommate to stay with me ,,, you do not know what these people may do especially if you do file police action .... they may mug you they may rob you.. or they could hurt you ...if I was you I'd be extremely careful
Opal 2 weeks ago (edited)
This story triggered my anger towards people in life who have no qualms about stealing from friends & lie outright about doing so! I had a similar experience. A few years ago, I was befriended by a woman whom I met at a mutual friend's house. We hit it off and she was looking for a place to stay (she was staying at a hotel at the time). I suggested that she could stay at my apartment in exchange for helping me out (I'm on disability) plus to pay just 1/3 of the amount of rent I was paying for the apartment. Let's just say long story short, she ended up stealing $3000 USD worth of money & possessions of mine; various other things she did had made my life a living heck for 4 months (at which point I moved out & had to forfeit my SD). She gaslighted me too; I called the police about my stuff but they couldn't be bothered. Why do so many people disregard the well known commandment "thou shall not steal"?!
CBolt 4 weeks ago (edited)
OK, I didn't read all the Reddit posts & haven't read all the BP posts yet ..... because I'm too busy screaming & setting my hair on fire. OP is rightly upset abt some of the stolen things but is mystified abt the hard drive, why somebody would steal & try to sell it - it only has personal stuff on it. YEAH!!!!! So I'm in my 1st screaming fit abt "personal stuff," because it probably includes financial info & passwords. Then, to my relief, somebody on Reddit tells OP that's exactly why it was taken & to change all her passwords, etc. BUT, OP's response? "Fortunately," she has the hard drive's serial # so "even if it's recovered & wiped" she'll know it's hers. 2nd screaming fit. Really????? Has she never heard of identity theft? Once it happens, it follows you the rest of your life. (You can read all the terrifying details in the FTC website as well as what to do once you realize you've been victimized.) People this naive & iignorant should have a 24/7 keeper - & not be allowed on the internet - & not be allowed to choose her own so-called friends. How do people like this make it thru life without some close supervision & assistance? Nevertheless, it's great that she got some things back - but I'm just sick abt the knives - they seemed to be of particular importance to OP. Geez.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago
When I was first home from the two hospitals? Main/physiotherapy. I had a "friend" stay with me, he said that he'd lost his job due to the Pandemic, or so he said. I later found out he'd been fired. I said when I got my "going home" date and saw his post? "Hey, maybe we could help each other out! I'll need help with things like taking my bins out and a bit of cleaning and you can get up to the jobcentre from here etc!"... Biggest mistake ever. He never lifted a finger to help clean, dirty dishes/plates everywhere, accused me of trying to get him hooked on my painkillers, which never ever happened, they were in a lockbox for which I wore the key for on a long necklace, always on me. I could've been prosecuted for that as its "distribution of a controlled substance". I kicked him out. I'd bought him a cheap phone. I got that blocked after kicking him out. He did steal other things such as a rare DVD which I found for sale online, reported that, got it blocked...
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 month ago
There is a whole load more but to save space? Kick the using f*cker out. Report it to the police as necessary, report everything that's happened because? People like this? Will not learn until they HAVE to learn by facing charges or getting visits from the police. They may try and smear your own self/name but let them. The Truth Will Out. True friends will know You and the Truth...... True Friends won't steal, lie, try and get whatever they can out of you... True Friends are with you, whatever you're going through... And will not try and Hurt you.
Load More Replies... Grenelda Thurber 1 month ago
The classic rage/charm/self-pity triad. He's trying out all the angles.
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