The median age for marriage in the US is approximately 30.5 years for men and 28.6 years for women. So it’s no surprise that when Reddit user Kimberlyn008 and her friends were finishing up their twenties, the group found themselves in the midst of wedding season, a time filled with joy, love, and—of course—a bit of drama. In a post on r/CharlotteDobreYouTube, the woman revealed that everything culminated after one of the brides arrived at another one’s ceremony wearing a white dress—a major no-no in wedding etiquette.

A woman showed up at her friend’s wedding with this dress

Image credits: R.Vivimos / amazon (not the actual photo)

And the bride had a big problem with it

Image credits: Kayla Renee / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Stephanie Lima / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: kimberlyn008

Generally, it’s inappropriate for guests to wear white to a wedding

We can say that the modern tradition of the white wedding dress began when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840. Back then, she selected a white satin gown lavishly embellished with lace that was handcrafted in England. After the photographs of the wedding spread across the general public, brides began copying Victoria’s style by wearing white gowns to their own nuptials. Now, it’s the norm.

“White is traditionally saved for the bride so as to not upstage or draw attention to anyone else on her special day,” Diane Gottsman, a well-respected etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in adult corporate and social etiquette training, told Bored Panda.

“It’s better to stay completely away from the color white,” Gottsman added. “It’s not worth taking the risk of offending the bride, and there will be plenty of opportunities for you to wear white on other occasions. Just not the wedding.”

When you’re a guest, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upset the couple, so be careful about wearing cream or ivory outfits as well.

Furthermore, this rule isn’t exclusive to women. “Men should also refrain, simply because it’s the bride and groom’s day and wearing white takes attention away from them,” Gottsman, who also wrote the book Modern Etiquette for a Better Life, said.

But if we’re only talking about a white button-up shirt underneath your suit or tuxedo jacket, that can be acceptable. Generally, think of it this way: if you’re questioning whether an outfit looks a little too white, it probably is. Many popular brands (like Anthropologie, Reformation, and Lulus) take the guessing game out of shopping by offering curated wedding guest collections. By using these lists, you can discover wedding-worthy outfits that don’t conflict with traditional etiquette. Or, if you don’t want to purchase the outfit, rental sites like Nuuly, Rent the Runway, and The Black Tux offer a wide selection you can get for a few days. Before you choose a new wedding outfit, it’s a good idea to poll a few friends to see what they think of the look (and the color).

Women might get away with a knee-length gown that includes white elements as part of a larger pattern. “If there is a tiny hint of white in the background of the pattern, it’s fine but nothing that is overly apparent,” Gottsman said.

But from what we can gather, it sounds like Taylor wasn’t interested in any of that and didn’t care about making a scene. And when the author of the post uploaded a picture of the dress in question, at least to my untrained eye, it did look very white. Plus, the fact that Taylor was very angry at Sarah when she showed up to her wedding in the same dress kind of proves that it was a malicious choice.

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

As the story gained popularity, its author joined the discussion in the comments

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