I have zero tolerance for chronically late people. And no, I don't care that you have kids or ADHD or whatever your excuse is. Your issues are YOURS to manage, not mine. If you refuse to manage them, that's not my problem.

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Chronically late people are showing you that their time is more important than yours. I choose to decide that my time is just as important so I leave and do not make plans with them again until we are on the same page. If it happens again, I'm done. I tolerated this behavior for way too many years. I'm choosing to stand up for me. :)

After rearranging my plans 3 times to accommodate my now-ex best friend, she called at the time we were supposed to be leaving to go hit some specialty shops an hour away. "OH, I had to do X & Y this morning and that put me behind so it'll be another hour or 2 before I get there." I told her that A: she could have told me sooner; and B: don't bother coming because the shops will be closed by the time we get there. She did that c**p all the time, but that was the final straw for me. I went by myself and had a good time, BTW. She cried about how mean I was on the Book of Faces and most of our mutual friends told her she was an inconsiderate idiot. That was my fault too, somehow.

Sometimes delays happen. If the bus is late or the person four cars ahead of you crashes and blocks the road there's really nothing you can do to influence or change that. There's also times when it's fine to be late without calling. Say I'm on my way to pick you up, realise I'll be five minutes late, try to call you to say so, but for whatever reason my phone didn't connect to my car. If I find somewhere to pull over, stop, get my phone out of my pocket, call you, put it away, wait for a gap in the traffic so I can get back on the road.. now I'm gonna be 12 minutes late instead of 5, so it's better to just keep going. Baring a serious problem half an hour is too much though. The commenters saying ESH or YTA forget this isn't a one off incident, OP isn't just responding to one single instance of being left sat there like the last turkey in Sainsbury's on christmas eve - this is the culmination of all the times wasting their day until he decides it's convenient to arrive.

I would have texted "I've waited for 30 minutes and am heading home. Hope you're okay."

I realised I was going to be seriously late to meet somebody in a pub back in the 80's. I found a telephone box with a directory, rang the pub and asked them to pass on a message. If sending a text is too much for anybody then they have no right to complain when somebody else doesn't.

IMHO, if you're a chronically late person, then you need to chronically learn to message people that matter to you that you are running late and the approximate time you'll be arriving.

My ex husband... Always preached "women are always late!". I proved his a** wrong!! I am the one that is ALWAYS on time or early! When we were together he'd be like " lets go see this movie! ". I'd get ready... Am ready to go... He hasn't even showered yet! " lets leave early, because I want to see the previews!". Yeah, whatever! Movie started example @5:45 pm). He's just then getting ready!! P****d me to off some damned bad!

I know a few people who are chronically late (one is medically diagnosed ADHD....so excusable to an extent) and the other?...let's just say she'd be late to her own funeral. We had invited her and her ex boyfriend over for dinner as she wanted to catch up and see the girls. We set the time fir 7pm. 7 rolls round and she's not here. Fine, hold off till 8 (as the girls were complaining they were hungry, so we fed them and they still weren't here. 9 and still no show, so we put the girls to bed and we ate. They finally show up at 10. 3 hours late and then bïtched that the food was cold and the kids were in bed. That was the last straw for us. Never did that again. If you're not gonna respect our time, our children's schedule and give us a courtesy call and say something came up (she gave no excuse, but joked how we know she likes to be "fashionably late")....nah girl! You done fücked it with me.

If someone is significantly late I text them to see if they are okay/still coming. At that point though I already feel a bit worried or disrespected. Whoever is late has the main responsibility to communicate.

45 minutes into a lunch isnt just late; thats basically a no-show. I often meet friends on lunch breaks from work, or while their kids are at an activity. None of us have an extra 45 minutes to kill.

Why the hell did she wait 30 min. 15 is max.

NTA this person has proven over and over again that you and your time are not important. Good on you for standing up for yourself, give them maybe 10 min at most if there is no call then leave.

One of my biggest pet hates is people who are chronically late. Even worse is when they can't be bothered to let you know they're running late. Even worse than that is when they do eventually turn up they think it's hilarious and one big joke. It's disrespectful. It takes less than a minute to message the person who is waiting for you and it is basic common courtesy.

I had a friend who for all the years I've known her, she was late, like really late. Recently we planned to meet with another friend for dinner. Shortly into the planned time to meet I started ordering apps and wine for myself. An hour into our planned time no one had shown. I ate a great dinner by myself and left. Of course as soon as I hit the road I start to get calls. One friend was pissed. The late one was chill as hell. I'll never wait on folks again.

We had that friend too. We'll meet at 12.00 ?? told him 11.30 Get together 15.00? told him 14.30

I don't have a cell phone. How are you going to text me? I won't put up with chronic lateness. When I was riding in competition, one woman was always late to the point where we once almost missed our start time. We started telling her we had to leave the barn an hour before we really did. That worked. Plan B was to go ahead and leave without her. We paid our entry fees, we trained, and being late has consequences.

You waited 40 minutes? My extreme limit is 20.

The very least he could’ve done was send a text and acknowledge he’s running late. He didn’t communicate so OP was fine to go home.

I worked and often traveled with a woman who was chronically late. Our team was at the airport and boarding and she was nowhere to be seen. My boss said, you need to call her, talk to the desk and see about a new flight for her…. I said, absolutely No Way. She is a grown a**e woman, she has the itinerary and she can figure it out on her own - never missed another flight.

I would only send a text just to have my conscious be fully clear and show that I, indeed, did my part, even if they don't deserve it. But I would not expect either a reasonable excuse or response, if any at all. Unfortunately I have a LOT of experience with people like this. I've heard the excuses, the pity party, the whole shebang. It all boils down to they think their time is more valuable than anyone else's. They are not your child. You should not have to be responsible for them. It's up to them to make sure they get somewhere on time. I certainly hope they don't have that same attitude when it comes to work.

As a person with a lengthy history of being late, my lateness was not a careless disrespect of others. In fact, I lost a good paying job due to repeated tardiness. I did not want to lose that job. After discussing my tendency to be late, my understanding is that due to abuse I began to procrastinate. That resulted in me being late. I told my family to not wait on me, to begin eating or whatever. I understand others are waiting whose time is valuable. I also know that I have been attending therapy to change being tardy.

Why give someone more respect than they deserve? For folks saying that both are wrong, I disagree. Waiting a decent time for an adult to show up and then leaving is completely understandable. If they are ALWAYS late, set boundaries after the 1st or 2nd time then leave. If they get upset because "that's just how they are", then they don't respect others.

Yeah definitely don't judge or reprimand them because no one ever taught them to respect other people's time. *eye roll*. 20 minutes is the max if they don't call or text. You should say something to them about it of course if you care about the friendship but I am terrible at that.

When I would give lectures to our medical interns as a resident ) eons ago, I would lock the door to the classroom at the time set. We always work around a set schedule and in our case, patients lives matter so doctors need to be trained early to also respect other doctors’ and staff time. At home, I would announce our departure time, say 15 minutes before mass started. A cousin of mine —their entire family habitually inconsiderate late comers-only started getting dressed at our departure time. We left her alone in the house at night. She waited outside since she always thought all houses are haunted. She never did it again

Sorry. At the age of 80 I have become chronically late. It used to take me 30 seconds to put my shoes on. Now it take two minutes. I used to take no time to find my phone, now it takes 3 minutes. It used to take me 2 minutes to brush my teeth. Now it takes me two minutes to get to the sink, It used to take me 45 seconds to put my coat on. Now it takes me 45 seconds to find my keys, another 45 seconds to make sure I have tissues, another 45 seconds to make sure I have the garage clicker. I will be dead before my years of conditioning catches up with reality.

If someone is consistently late, them why act brand new each time?! It’s foolishness. If she knew he’d be late, come later. 12:00 Is not 12:00 to habitually late people, so show your ssa up a little later too. You are not an intervention. Lol

There are various ways she could have handled this, especially since she knows he's always late. I think the best way would have been to warn him advance that she would only wait for him for a set amount of time, and if he didn't show up during that time, she would leave.

My former BFF was like this. We lived close by, whenever we needed to go somewhere I would go over to her house and waited for her to get ready. Every single time I asked what time i should be there. I always came at the set time and she wasn't ready. After months I started coming over later, and she was not yet ready to go, she only started to get ready when I got there. Long time ago I was a people pleaser and sadly being an asian, so I never brought up the issue with her and just boxed up my anger. Good thing I never had to deal with her anymore because we don't hang out anymore.

Knowing that the other party is always late is why you send a reminder text as soon as you arrive to say that you are at the meeting place waiting for them. After 15 minutes, you indicate that you are going to be leaving and hope they are OK. Avoid meetings with this person in the future.

Modification of what she told them. Since you didn't call or text, I assumed that you forgot about our lunch, and made plans with somebody else.. I would have called you, but I did not want to interfere with your plans.