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Woman Gives Her Freeloader Friend A Taste Of Her Own Medicine, Dinner Gets Awkward
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Woman Gives Her Freeloader Friend A Taste Of Her Own Medicine, Dinner Gets Awkward

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One of the hallmarks of a truly good friend is that they respect you. And that means that they’re aware of your boundaries, support you through your ups and downs, and generally invest in your relationship. Friendships require a give-and-take dynamic. If you’re the one always doing favors for them and constantly feel taken advantage of, something’s off.

Recently, redditor u/truthinreverse went viral after spilling the tea about her extremely cheap friend who does the same song and dance every time they go out, pretending to have forgotten her wallet. Having finally had enough, the woman decided to call her friend out by giving her a taste of her own medicine. Scroll down to find out what happened and how the internet reacted. Bored Panda reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.

RELATED:

    Not all friends respect you as much as you do them. Unfortunately, some folks are willing to take advantage of you if you let them

    Image credits: prostooleh / freepik (not the actual photo)

    A woman went viral after sharing how she got back at her cheap friend who would constantly ‘forget’ to bring her wallet when going out

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    Image credits: andranik.h90 / freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: truthinreverse

    Talking about money is tough. But if you ignore the problem, you’re giving others the green light to cheat you

    Image credits: philipimage / freepik (not the actual photo)

    Money issues can be very awkward to talk about. It doesn’t matter if that person is a friend, relative, or coworker, there’s a certain amount of guilt and taboo attached to these topics. However, the more you tackle them, the more comfortable you get.

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    And if you ignore them, the problems will only pile up. Moreover, if someone is (un)consciously taking advantage of you, by not confronting them, you’re sending them a clear signal that what they’re doing is fine.

    To put it very simply, you need to have those weird conversations with your friends if you keep having to pay for them at dinner, clubs, etc. Not only is it a large financial burden, you’ll also probably feel on edge whenever you go out with them, so it diminishes the fun you’re having anyway.

    If you think what you have is a real friendship, if there are years and years of positive experiences between you and your pal, then you owe it to them to be honest. Real friendship is about being transparent, not just supportive.

    You should be able to trust your friends to be real with you and call you out when you’re doing something wrong and when your behavior affects them in a bad way. Look, everyone makes mistakes, nobody’s perfect, you’ve heard it all before. And some mistakes are genuine accidents, so you need to hone your self-awareness. But if you’re intentionally deceiving your buddies to save a bit of cash, well, that responsibility to do better and be better falls on you.

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    There are other ways to pay for dinner even if you’ve forgotten your wallet. Remember, you have a phone!

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

    A good rule of thumb is to only ever lend money to people you trust, so if you’re ever on the fence about a request for cash, err on the side of caution. Look at the person’s history. Are they reliable? Have they paid you back before? Are they timely in those situations or do they keep ‘forgetting’ to repay you? Only lend money that you’d be okay with never getting back.

    If someone asks you for cash or wants you to pay for them, it’s fine to say ‘no.’ It’s perfectly possible to maintain your health boundaries while also keeping things light and friendly. After all, you might be concerned about your budget and trying to save money, too. So, if you feel that something’s off, resist that social pressure and stick to your boundaries.

    Of course, there are moments in life when someone genuinely does forget their wallet at home, and it’s important to consider that possibility. However, in this day and age, there are so many ways to pay for things that it’s ridiculous.

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    Even if you don’t have your card with you and you’ve left all of your cash at home, which is still a popular payment method in many countries, you can just pay with your phones or transfer the money they owe you from their bank account to yours. All it takes is a few taps on the screen. In short, if you ‘forgot’ your wallet but brought your phone, then you still have tons of ways to pay your share of the bill.

    When paying for someone else or lending them money, remember not to hurt your financial situation

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

    Whenever you lend someone money, you shouldn’t wait for too long before reminding them about the debt. Send them a matter-of-fact message, avoid being passive-aggressive, and try not to make it seem like you’re accusing them of any shady business. If they keep avoiding the question, point out that you genuinely need the money to make ends meet.

    It also helps if you’re a tad flexible (even if you’re completely in the right): try to listen to their side of things and consider asking them to pay you back in small chunks over time. If nothing seems to work, then you can take the person to small claims court. Of course, it helps if you have a written agreement and other evidence about the loan. Alternatively, you can write the money off as a loss, cut ties with the person, and learn from the entire debacle.

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    If your friends leave you to pay the bill on your own, they might assume that you earn substantially more money than they do or they’re simply being jerks. It can be a wake-up call that you may need to spend time with other people, who value you more and respect you as an individual, not a walking, talking ATM.

    Have you ever had any friends who would conveniently ‘forget’ to pay their fair share of the bill, dear Pandas? How did you handle those situations? Are you still friends after this? Meanwhile, do you think the author of the viral story handled the situation well? Let us know what you think in the comments.

    Most readers thought the woman’s approach was brilliant. They supported her sneaky revenge story

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    Not everyone was a fan of how the author handled the situation. Here’s what they said she should have done

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    Read less »

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Kim Shannon
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This person is not your friend. Dump her immediately. The only thing you did wrong was put up with it as long as you did. Lesson learned.

    Kohl_Keene
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like this person took advantage Of their friend being on the ASD spectrum and I worry about this with my daughter. Time to end that friendship for sure. It happened more than once with no willingness to pay it back

    Load More Replies...
    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a couple like this a while back. They'd ask me to lunch and when I got up to the counter, they'd disappear and leave me to foot the bill. Happened a coup!e of times until I got so fed up, I called them out. Called them a couple of sponges. The wife got so pissed at me, but I said of the shoe fits Cinderella! I should habe just known. I mean, I had just moved to Ft. Hood with my ex who had just deployed. I had won a contest and I got a bunch of coupons for the commissary. I used one. The next day, the woman calls and says " we're really hurting, could we have the rest of those vouchers? We really are the ones who need them.". Damned parasites! I'm glad they're gone from my life!

    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Talk to your platoon leader. If you are short. What I would have said...military life is hard enough. Especially trying to feed a family. Parasites, correct term.

    Load More Replies...
    Alex Schneider
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend of mine with adhs had been forgotten his wallet occassionally too, I just gave him the recept and he paypaled me the money back, if paying by phone were not available on the restaurant. Never had been a problem, cause he never wanted to owe me or take it as a gift, so it depends on conditions and former communication

    Nikole
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a great idea! I’m guessing this “friend” never said she would do that.

    Load More Replies...
    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nowadays "I forgot my wallet" isn't as a good excuse anymore as it was in older days.

    Alexander Luna
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It concerns me that people say YTA as you should have talked to her - after you say you talked to her. Sometimes people have no idea and think "talking" will solve everything. No, it doesn't. Sometimes you have to "do something" about a problem after talking about it. You are NTA. You acted to solve a repeated situation at that time. I agree though that you may have to reavaluate her as a friend or at least engineer the situations you are in with her so that maybe no bill is involved.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Common sense should tell you to stop going out to eat with this woman.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aspie here. Common sense is precisely that. It's of the common/normal/majority. The OP has stated that they're on the autistic spectrum. It involves developmental delay in some areas (note *developmental delay*, not developmental retardation). The plus side is as an older aspie, once we eventually learn it, we can be better at xyz than some of our common/normal companions because we've had to learn it inside out.

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    👏👏👏👏👏👏! You handled it perfectly! And ditch this so called friend! You deserve a true friend! Not a user.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s happened to me. You know when it is deliberate. You take whatever action is fair when it’s done. This was perfectly fair imo

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first question (upon meeting up) "do you have your wallet?" If the answer is no, get up and leave.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago, I went out on a date with a guy who forgot his wallet. I paid for the meal, despite him asking me out. I found out later that he always did that on first dates as a test to make sure that the woman wasn’t a gold digger. He was quite proud of it. But there wasn’t much gold there to dig - I made significantly more money and owned my own house. He had an ok job but no major assets and wasn’t from a rich family. Needless to say, I noped out of that one.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please do not listen to the people clapping back about what you did op. That person is not your friend and she should be embarassed for not expecting to pay but its her own fault. She isn't shamed by not offering to pay, and karma is a b***h in turn. She needed that to happen but the real question is, did she learn her lesson? I doubt it. You ARE NOT THE AHOLE!

    tw 72
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two things: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any; and 2) The only people who will be upset with you setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.

    MindNumbinglyBoringJob
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If someone is taking the time to send her a DM calling her a stupid B than that says a hack of a lot more about them then the poster. Run do not walk to your nearest mental help professional.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have brought just enough cash in my pocket to pay for my meal (and not offered to pay it with an app). She would have had to find some way to pay for her meal herself. You could have even offered to drive to her apartment and brough back her wallet so that she could pay for her meal.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dump this person as a friend, or simply say "Separate checks please" when the server takes your order.

    Nizumi
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone gets one chance to do that to me, then I ask for separate checks any time we get together.

    Gwyn
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask to see her wallet before you order, just to make sure she didn't "forget" it again.

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My department colleagues and me often fetch food to the office. A joint order, two go away to fetch the food, one of them pays and the rest of us Venmo them money (or Swish them money, as it's called in my country). I once forgot, and was so embarrassed when he reminded me (but realized it was my fault, not his). I have never forgotten again. That's how friends act.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good Job! The commenters that OP was in the wrong haven't ben taken advantage of like OP was.

    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gaucho…. STFU and anyone who is being nasty! This woman did nothing wrong at all so go and FYs trolls

    Katie Barnes
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had an acquaintance in my 20s who would come out to group meals, order super expensive dishes and multiple drinks, then cheap out on her share of the bill every time. Put in cash that was less than half of her share before tip. I called her out on it multiple times and she complained that she couldn't afford it... I said don't order it then. I was told I was being too harsh so I just started getting a separate check every time she came out.

    Uncle Schmickle
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP did the right thing. Taught the "friend" a lesson, hopefully.

    Mimi M
    Community Member
    6 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    One of the few times I agree with the ESH contrary crowd.

    Kim Shannon
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This person is not your friend. Dump her immediately. The only thing you did wrong was put up with it as long as you did. Lesson learned.

    Kohl_Keene
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like this person took advantage Of their friend being on the ASD spectrum and I worry about this with my daughter. Time to end that friendship for sure. It happened more than once with no willingness to pay it back

    Load More Replies...
    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a couple like this a while back. They'd ask me to lunch and when I got up to the counter, they'd disappear and leave me to foot the bill. Happened a coup!e of times until I got so fed up, I called them out. Called them a couple of sponges. The wife got so pissed at me, but I said of the shoe fits Cinderella! I should habe just known. I mean, I had just moved to Ft. Hood with my ex who had just deployed. I had won a contest and I got a bunch of coupons for the commissary. I used one. The next day, the woman calls and says " we're really hurting, could we have the rest of those vouchers? We really are the ones who need them.". Damned parasites! I'm glad they're gone from my life!

    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Talk to your platoon leader. If you are short. What I would have said...military life is hard enough. Especially trying to feed a family. Parasites, correct term.

    Load More Replies...
    Alex Schneider
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend of mine with adhs had been forgotten his wallet occassionally too, I just gave him the recept and he paypaled me the money back, if paying by phone were not available on the restaurant. Never had been a problem, cause he never wanted to owe me or take it as a gift, so it depends on conditions and former communication

    Nikole
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a great idea! I’m guessing this “friend” never said she would do that.

    Load More Replies...
    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nowadays "I forgot my wallet" isn't as a good excuse anymore as it was in older days.

    Alexander Luna
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It concerns me that people say YTA as you should have talked to her - after you say you talked to her. Sometimes people have no idea and think "talking" will solve everything. No, it doesn't. Sometimes you have to "do something" about a problem after talking about it. You are NTA. You acted to solve a repeated situation at that time. I agree though that you may have to reavaluate her as a friend or at least engineer the situations you are in with her so that maybe no bill is involved.

    Suzie
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Common sense should tell you to stop going out to eat with this woman.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aspie here. Common sense is precisely that. It's of the common/normal/majority. The OP has stated that they're on the autistic spectrum. It involves developmental delay in some areas (note *developmental delay*, not developmental retardation). The plus side is as an older aspie, once we eventually learn it, we can be better at xyz than some of our common/normal companions because we've had to learn it inside out.

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle Randazzo
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    👏👏👏👏👏👏! You handled it perfectly! And ditch this so called friend! You deserve a true friend! Not a user.

    Libstak
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s happened to me. You know when it is deliberate. You take whatever action is fair when it’s done. This was perfectly fair imo

    K. LNU
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first question (upon meeting up) "do you have your wallet?" If the answer is no, get up and leave.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago, I went out on a date with a guy who forgot his wallet. I paid for the meal, despite him asking me out. I found out later that he always did that on first dates as a test to make sure that the woman wasn’t a gold digger. He was quite proud of it. But there wasn’t much gold there to dig - I made significantly more money and owned my own house. He had an ok job but no major assets and wasn’t from a rich family. Needless to say, I noped out of that one.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please do not listen to the people clapping back about what you did op. That person is not your friend and she should be embarassed for not expecting to pay but its her own fault. She isn't shamed by not offering to pay, and karma is a b***h in turn. She needed that to happen but the real question is, did she learn her lesson? I doubt it. You ARE NOT THE AHOLE!

    tw 72
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two things: 1) Givers need to learn to set boundaries because takers don't have any; and 2) The only people who will be upset with you setting boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any.

    MindNumbinglyBoringJob
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If someone is taking the time to send her a DM calling her a stupid B than that says a hack of a lot more about them then the poster. Run do not walk to your nearest mental help professional.

    Ruth Watry
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have brought just enough cash in my pocket to pay for my meal (and not offered to pay it with an app). She would have had to find some way to pay for her meal herself. You could have even offered to drive to her apartment and brough back her wallet so that she could pay for her meal.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dump this person as a friend, or simply say "Separate checks please" when the server takes your order.

    Nizumi
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone gets one chance to do that to me, then I ask for separate checks any time we get together.

    Gwyn
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask to see her wallet before you order, just to make sure she didn't "forget" it again.

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My department colleagues and me often fetch food to the office. A joint order, two go away to fetch the food, one of them pays and the rest of us Venmo them money (or Swish them money, as it's called in my country). I once forgot, and was so embarrassed when he reminded me (but realized it was my fault, not his). I have never forgotten again. That's how friends act.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good Job! The commenters that OP was in the wrong haven't ben taken advantage of like OP was.

    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gaucho…. STFU and anyone who is being nasty! This woman did nothing wrong at all so go and FYs trolls

    Katie Barnes
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had an acquaintance in my 20s who would come out to group meals, order super expensive dishes and multiple drinks, then cheap out on her share of the bill every time. Put in cash that was less than half of her share before tip. I called her out on it multiple times and she complained that she couldn't afford it... I said don't order it then. I was told I was being too harsh so I just started getting a separate check every time she came out.

    Uncle Schmickle
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP did the right thing. Taught the "friend" a lesson, hopefully.

    Mimi M
    Community Member
    6 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    One of the few times I agree with the ESH contrary crowd.

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