‘He Said He Didn’t Know How To Boil Water’: Foster Parent Shares What It’s Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds

The memories we associate with food are strong and can follow us for as long as we live. Tasting something that we ate during a certain period of our lives can bring back what we were feeling then, whether those memories are fond, or painful. A mom’s post about one of these darker memories that her son, who she adopted through foster care, shared with her, has gone viral as an example of how surviving neglect affects children and as a reminder for foster parents to listen and make space for their kids’ experiences.

Aubren Dudley, an adoptive mother of 5 siblings, wrote in a Facebook post that she noticed the 9-year-old about to eat something that appeared strange and unappetizing to her: a block of dry ramen noodles straight out of the packet. She was about to stop him, but he explained that he wanted to eat it that way since he had developed a taste for it in his old home. When she opened up and listened to his explanation, it made her more conscious of what her kids had been through before they came to her.

Aubren Dudley posted her son’s story along with a picture of the meal

'He Said He Didn't Know How To Boil Water': Foster Parent Shares What It's Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds

Image credits: aubren00

'He Said He Didn't Know How To Boil Water': Foster Parent Shares What It's Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds

In the United States, nearly a third of children in foster care, most of them 5 years old or younger, were removed from their parents because of neglect related to parental drug use. That figure has increased due to the opioid and methamphetamine epidemics, and an overall increase in the amount of children entering foster care in the last decade could possibly be related as well.

In Dudley’s post, she highlights the importance of not trying to erase this experience of neglect or minimize its relevance, but letting her kids share it at their own pace and appreciating their resilience that got them to where they are now.

Other people who have adopted children, or were adopted themselves, thanked her for sharing the story and for her call to be empathetic when kids open up about traumatic experiences.

People commended both Dudley and her son for the story

'He Said He Didn't Know How To Boil Water': Foster Parent Shares What It's Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds

Lili ended up in Vilnius, Lithuania out of her curiosity for studying languages, and stayed here out of sheer willpower. She loves cats maybe even a little more than the internet average and enjoys cooking videos despite only fantasizing about being able to make anything more complicated than fried rice.

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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What do you think ?

POST

kurisutofu 4 years ago

Actually, instant ramens are quite good like that! I used to eat them that way. Ramen are already cooked so they're not uncooked, just dried.

15points

Lea Springstead 4 years ago

I used to eat Ramen like that too, I liked it a lot actually. I'd sprinkle a little water on it so the spices would stick then crunch away.

2points

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Stéphanie Nadon 4 years ago

This story is so sad. Its remembering me how I had to be strong when I was living with my dad. Yes its survival mode and you cant just press "Pause" there is no stop. When I was 15years old my dad kicked me from the house. This was the best thing that could happened to me (even if it was a rough time) I always say I started living at 15 now.

11points

Seabeast 4 years ago

I think that kids who get kicked out before they're legally old enough to support themselves with full time work should be able to sue their parents for back child support years later.

6points

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Monika Soffronow 4 years ago

Stephanie, it almost sounds as though you no longer needed to be strong after your dad kicked you out at 15. That certainly emphasizes how bad it must have been. I hope everything has worked out for you. Here's a hug!

2points

Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

Stephanie Nadon, in solidarity I stand. Right there with you, and totally know what you mean. C**p that the "good family" dynamic isn't there, but oh so frikken wonderful to be away from such awful humans. I wish you only good things, and safe travels in whatever adventures you choose to have. <3

1point

Elizabeth 4 years ago

Sometimes life boils down to perspective and this is a good one to be mindful of

9points

4 years ago

‘boils down’ intended pun?

5points

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POST

kurisutofu 4 years ago

Actually, instant ramens are quite good like that! I used to eat them that way. Ramen are already cooked so they're not uncooked, just dried.

15points

Lea Springstead 4 years ago

I used to eat Ramen like that too, I liked it a lot actually. I'd sprinkle a little water on it so the spices would stick then crunch away.

2points

Load More Replies...

Stéphanie Nadon 4 years ago

11points

Seabeast 4 years ago

I think that kids who get kicked out before they're legally old enough to support themselves with full time work should be able to sue their parents for back child support years later.

6points

Load More Replies...

Monika Soffronow 4 years ago

2points

Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

1point

Elizabeth 4 years ago

Sometimes life boils down to perspective and this is a good one to be mindful of

9points

‘He Said He Didn’t Know How To Boil Water’: Foster Parent Shares What It’s Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds

Aubren Dudley posted her son’s story along with a picture of the meal

People commended both Dudley and her son for the story

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