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Woman Refuses To Simply Give Money To Her Parents Who Are Raising Her Nieces As They Are Ultra-Religious, But Leaves Them Inheritance With A Condition
One of the most infuriating behaviors people exhibit is when they expect you to help them out of some sort of sense of duty when they never did the same for you. And when you agree to help them but with certain conditions to protect yourself, they are baffled you dared to be so disrespectful.
It is the exact situation in which a Redditor found herself. She wanted to help her loser brother’s daughters by adopting them, but her parents didn’t allow it. However, when the woman found out she’ll die soon and wrote her will, her parents were furious she didn’t just assign her money to her nieces without any additional requirements.
More info: Reddit
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Woman has a terminal disease and started sorting out her will and her decisions were met with disapproval
Image credits: supplier gorden ready stok minimalis (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the Original Poster’s (OP) days are numbered as she found out that at 38 years of age, she has an incurable medical diagnosis. Because she had an excellent career, the woman managed to accumulate a little fortune that she wanted to put in a will.
Obviously, her husband is getting the lion’s share as he will be left to take care of himself and their children alone. The rest of the money the OP would like to give her two nieces, but it’s not that simple.
She wanted to leave a part of her estate to her nieces, but only to pay for their higher education and living expenses while they are in school
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
First of all, the girls’ dad, the Redditor’s brother, is an addict and even though his parents tried really hard to help him, at the expense of not really taking care of their daughter, a.k.a. the poster of the story, he did not accept it.
Second of all, the OP’s parents disowned her when she left home to study and get a higher education as the parents are members of a fundamentalist Christian church in the south.
This plan looked like a good way to ensure the nieces will be able to escape their grandparents, who are members of a Christian fundamentalist church
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
So when the woman’s brother abandoned his daughters, he left them with their grandparents. The OP wanted to get custody of the girls, because she is better off than her parents and because she didn’t want them growing up in an environment she did.
However, the woman was unsuccessful, but she still wanted to include her nieces in her will. She tried to write the will with the help of a lawyer to make sure her nieces would get the money and would escape their grandparents’ house.
The woman herself grew up in that environment and wished that after her death, her nieces could live a normal life
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
The condition with which the OP’s nieces will get their money is if they attend a public school for their post-secondary education before they turn 25. If the money isn’t used by then, it will go to a charity advocating for women and their reproductive rights. The girls will be able to use that money not only to pay for their education but for living expenses as well.
Well, this generous offer annoyed the woman’s parents because they expected to get the money to help them take care of their granddaughters, because they are going into debt because of them; however, they were not willing to give custody to the OP.
However, the woman’s parents were pretty upset she was not giving her nieces money but making demands because they were going into debt over this
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
The addict brother found out about his sister’s decision as well and just like his parents, he was furious that she wouldn’t give her money to her nieces and make their parents suffer financially. The woman was pretty surprised he cared, as he abandoned the girls and it has already been a long time since he sent them money, if he ever did.
Other family members also expressed their opinions and believed that the OP is being selfish and despite her husband supporting the plan, the woman still has doubts: “I might be the a*****e because I know my parents need money to take care of the girls. I also can almost guarantee that if I give them money, it will not be used to help the girls one second after they have completed high school and my parents can marry them off.”
Despite the fact that the woman tried to get custody of the girls and the parents refused to give it to her
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
The readers believed that the OP’s judgment was correct and that if her parents truly are strict fundamentalists, then her will would help the girls a lot and offer them an escape into a normal life.
It is not easy to get out of a cult-like organization because the whole infrastructure is built to keep their members dependent on it. The easiest way out is if you have someone to support you who is not a part of that organization. Which in this case is the OP, who was trying to help her nieces.
The girls’ father, the woman’s brother, was also angry even though he was the one who abandoned his children and didn’t give them money
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
But the most important part is to want to escape and then you will find a way. For example, a woman who wanted to keep her anonymity wrote to Business Insider about how she started working as a babysitter at 12 years old and was starting to earn money, although a part of it had to go to the church.
The woman had multiple jobs, including being a dog walker, a tutor and a nursing home assistant. After years she saved up almost $10,000 and was able to buy a car, to move out and to continue her education while still working to maintain her new lifestyle.
What the woman fears is that the money will not go to her nieces, so she is hesitant about it
Image credits: Top_Juggernaut_551
Do you think the OP was being selfish and wasn’t doing enough for her nieces? Do you think her plan of trying to take her nieces from the environment they are in will be successful? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Redditors believed that if her parents are strict fundamentalists, then her money for sure won’t be used to benefit the girls
What do you think ?
Krystal Quigley 3 years ago
Am i the only one noticing the irony and hypocrisy here? Parents cut out daughter because she wanted an education and now they want to financially benefit from that education. She needs to remind them that if they were really Christian, they would walk their talk and deal with the poverty that resulted from their choices.
lauralett50 3 years ago
They only are interested in the money. Have a cousin in a similar situation. Her inlaws are almost the same as OPs. They are after the $$$. Btw, not all Southern Churches are like the one in this post. My church would never do something like that. Those people should be ashamed of themselves.
Load More Replies...
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 3 years ago
Sheesh. I honestly wonder if OP could legally get her nieces out of there, that sounds like it could be a really bad situation
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
It's really hard to get kids away from grandparents once they have guardianship. Basically have to prove neglect or abuse
Load More Replies...
Libstak 3 years ago (edited)
She has her own children and husband, she doesn't have to dish up a cent and absolutely Will not have anything coming her or her children's way from any of them if the situation is reversed. The fact that she loves her nieces enough to give them an opportunity in educating themselves is a lucky bonus for them and her brother and parents can pound dirt, none of their business AT ALL.
Carol Emory 3 years ago
So let me get this straight...parents were upset that you went to college to get an education and better life because you should have stayed home like a good daughter...but now that you are successful and financially secure they are upset because you won't help them out financially. What would they have done for money if you'd stayed home? They can't say you are a disappointment while holding their hand out begging for money from you. They can be disappointed and broke or they can give in and let you take custody of the nieces. There is no other option for those hypocrites.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
This isn't a family, more like a depraved pack of bottom feeders out for money. OP has done good by ensuring (or trying to) her nieces go down the better path in life and have a fighting chance for a better future rather than allowing her scummy excuse of a family to abuse their monetary assistance. Whoever is asking her to help her "family" should offer monetary help themselves but obviously, they aren't going to do that, right? Surprise, surprise... NTA, and hopefully her scumbag family doesn't get a cent from that money. Smh...
Anony Mouse 3 years ago
A lot of the AITA posts are fake. This one, for example. They are written as creative writing exercises by bored teens for get internet attention.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
The solution seems simple to me. Leave nothing to the nieces, in cash or for college. Your husband gets it all. No one can contest that. After you go, your husband can tell your nieces that he is offering - of his own free choice, not as part of any will or legacy - to pay for any qualifying educational expenses, given the proper documentation. When he pays for tuition or dorm fees, it should be a check made out to the name of the educational institution, not the nieces. This is so others do not divert the money into their own hands. Oh, and look into a restraining order (maybe more than one). Sounds like you'll need it.
Krystal Quigley 3 years ago
Am i the only one noticing the irony and hypocrisy here? Parents cut out daughter because she wanted an education and now they want to financially benefit from that education. She needs to remind them that if they were really Christian, they would walk their talk and deal with the poverty that resulted from their choices.
lauralett50 3 years ago
They only are interested in the money. Have a cousin in a similar situation. Her inlaws are almost the same as OPs. They are after the $$$. Btw, not all Southern Churches are like the one in this post. My church would never do something like that. Those people should be ashamed of themselves.
Load More Replies... and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 3 years ago
Sheesh. I honestly wonder if OP could legally get her nieces out of there, that sounds like it could be a really bad situation
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
It's really hard to get kids away from grandparents once they have guardianship. Basically have to prove neglect or abuse
Load More Replies... Libstak 3 years ago (edited)
She has her own children and husband, she doesn't have to dish up a cent and absolutely Will not have anything coming her or her children's way from any of them if the situation is reversed. The fact that she loves her nieces enough to give them an opportunity in educating themselves is a lucky bonus for them and her brother and parents can pound dirt, none of their business AT ALL.
Carol Emory 3 years ago
So let me get this straight...parents were upset that you went to college to get an education and better life because you should have stayed home like a good daughter...but now that you are successful and financially secure they are upset because you won't help them out financially. What would they have done for money if you'd stayed home? They can't say you are a disappointment while holding their hand out begging for money from you. They can be disappointed and broke or they can give in and let you take custody of the nieces. There is no other option for those hypocrites.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
This isn't a family, more like a depraved pack of bottom feeders out for money. OP has done good by ensuring (or trying to) her nieces go down the better path in life and have a fighting chance for a better future rather than allowing her scummy excuse of a family to abuse their monetary assistance. Whoever is asking her to help her "family" should offer monetary help themselves but obviously, they aren't going to do that, right? Surprise, surprise... NTA, and hopefully her scumbag family doesn't get a cent from that money. Smh...
Anony Mouse 3 years ago
A lot of the AITA posts are fake. This one, for example. They are written as creative writing exercises by bored teens for get internet attention.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
The solution seems simple to me. Leave nothing to the nieces, in cash or for college. Your husband gets it all. No one can contest that. After you go, your husband can tell your nieces that he is offering - of his own free choice, not as part of any will or legacy - to pay for any qualifying educational expenses, given the proper documentation. When he pays for tuition or dorm fees, it should be a check made out to the name of the educational institution, not the nieces. This is so others do not divert the money into their own hands. Oh, and look into a restraining order (maybe more than one). Sounds like you'll need it.
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