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First dates are notoriously tricky. Especially if you have only spent time with the person in a friend group capacity or haven't met them in real life at all.
No wonder why coffee shops are such popular destinations — there's a good chance the two of you will be unable to hit it off and you'll need a quick and easy exit.
So we at Bored Panda decided to take a look at what turns people off the most and found two Reddit threads (one started by the user HomeTattoo and another by Kiwicarebear) that has folks sharing their first-date dealbreakers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Went on a date with a guy yesterday who was a christian (I'm an atheist, but that's fine) and went on an unprompted monologue about how homosexuality is not God's will (not fine). I am a man, we were both men, it was a gay date. It was very confusing.
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#2
I wore heels on a blind date. The guy looked me up and down, then said "You know it's rude to wear heels on a blind date right?" I said "I'm sorry I didn't premeditate the fragility of your ego." He back-peddled and begged me to stay for the meal. I had half a drink and had to walk out. When someone shows you their true colours, why waste anyone's time after that?
#3
If they expect sex.
Fun story, I went on the WORST date a while ago. Guy seemed nice enough when we first met, but during the first date, I realized he was a total sleaze and maybe crazy? He asked me out of the blue if I was on birth control. When I said yes, he said, "sweet, that means I don't have to wear a condom."
I was so taken aback. Who says stuff like that? At that point, I knew I'd never touch him - not when a ten and a half foot pole - but I felt weirdly compelled to explain to him how stupid that was. I asked what he'd do if he knocked me up. "Oh, it's no big deal. You'll just get it taken care of, that's all." He didn't understand that abortions aren't cheap, easy to get, or fun. When I expressed that, he rolled his eyes and said condoms *weren't fair to him* and that *having to wear a condom is a deal-breaker.*
I left that restaurant so fast I must've made his head spin. He tried to backtrack, said "maybe I can make an exception for you!" I declined and told him I wasn't interested. Then he tried to call me up nine months later to hang out. Because "no girl in all of DC wants to go on a date and it's so frustrating." Uh... maybe because you're gross and awful, dude? Also, this guy was 30. I'd expect this b******t from a teenager. Not a 30-year-old.
#4
If they don’t like animals. I’ve always had dogs (have two right now) and went on a date once where he said he hated animals. I left shortly after.
#5
Well, one guy showed up to the wrong lunch location and made ME drive to meet him (I was working, he was not) - strike 1. I arrive and he gets out of his car wearing sweats (he made me wait over 2 hours while he got ready - strike 9). Is 7 inches shorter than he said he was (which isn’t a problem unless you LIE about it - strike 13). And then... he was missing some critical burger eating teeth (that’s not even a strike - at this point I was in for the entertainment value this would add). Then he got into a loud, long anti government rant that only paused when I realized my car was being broken into. I run outside and defend my car expecting my date to be gallantly by my side. He was not - he just sat in the booth content to let me fight off someone rummaging through my car. Strikes 1000-39276651.
Oh. And he cried twice.
And watching him eat a burger wasn’t even close to being as entertaining as I wanted it to be.
#6
When they’re nice to you but not to the waiter.
Because one day, you’ll be in the waiter’s position.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
Being nice to me and not others just tells me they’re not nice and they want something from me. It’s likely they’re manipulative and definitely transactional. Ironically, not towards the people with which they’re having overt transactions.
#7
From personal experience, casually dropping that the Earth is only a few thousand years old and rock stars get famous by making a deal with Satan. The worst part is the moment when you have to stop laughing because you realize it wasn't a silly joke.
#8
Lying. If someone is significantly different from anything they have led me to believe prior to the first date I’m immediately not interested. I don’t really care that much about their weight, height, political leanings, religion, etc, but lie to me first thing and we’ve got nothing else to talk about.
#9
If it’s a one way conversation, me asking them questions and taking interest in their life and them asking none or minimal questions about me.
#10
Being constantly on their phone.
Alexia 1 year ago
I had such a date. The guy barely looked at me, he was so absorbed by his phone, his messages, his social media. He even posted about the restaurant we were at. And then somebody called him and they talked for like, 20 minutes (nothing urgent, just trifles). At some point I got up and told him I'd go to the bathroom, and he just waived his hand at me: "yeah, no problem". Got my purse, went to the bartender, paid my coffee and left in a taxi. Texted him from the taxi :))) He was genuinely surprised: "Why did you leave? Are you upset?"
#11
When she tries to spritz me with Holy Water since I was never baptized.
#12
If in the midst of conversation you have to brag about how much your parents make or how they gave your brother an Audi, I’m done.
I’m not saying coming from a rich family is bad, but if you feel a need to bring it up on the first date, I’m going to assume you have nothing better to bring to the table.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
Wealth as personality. Sadly, it meets so many people’s approval as a fundamental characteristic.
#13
Talking non-stop about wanting a "traditional" family where mom doesn't work. Like sure, but that's not me so move on.
Or bringing up being an alpha male. Just no.
#14
Had someone on a dating app using 20 year old pics, lying about her age to an extreme extent, she said she was 25, i was 19 and she asked if i minded dating older women. I didnt mind at all but she showed up and the first thing i thought of was "wow she takes really good pics" but I decided since i was already there might as well make the best of it.
I found out she was 49 and had a son older than me, because he ended up working at the bowling alley we went to, I thought she seemed a little uncomfortable when we arrived to the bowling alley but shrugged it off to her being nervous about an internet date. Until i went to go get some food and her son who WORKED AT THAT BOWLING ALLEY pulled me to the side to ask what I was doing with his mom, he told me she was 49 and married, and then the best part, he was 6 months older than me.
#15
Dating in my teens and early 20's I was naive and insecure. So loved it when a guy said I was so much better than his last girlfriend who was a b***h. Dating again in my 50's (being wiser and secure with myself) my response to the ex-b***h story is, "What the hell did you do to her???"
#16
Bad hygiene. Ended up nicknaming him halitosis boy.. Had a guy turn up to a date once like he hadn't showered in months. He smelled so bad I had to lean back in my chair to get away from the smell. So gross. He was the worst but lots of guys make no effort to look or dress nice on a date too. Always makes me think... This is as good as it gets so that's a nope!
RandomEpiBioPerson 1 year ago
There are definitely some professions that give lingering smells that are extremely hard or impossible to wash off, which makes it hard for those individuals to date outside of their profession, but other than that, there isn't a good excuse, imo. I'm those cases, is still say to wash, but it doesn't always work and that should be information the person provides ahead of time.
#17
Being married.
Bringing your friend to the date because you were nervous.
Bragging about your knife collection at home.
Never knew these things would come up in the first dates I’ve been on, but here we are.
#18
When he brings up his idealistic woman physically and I match none of those. For example, “All girls should have straight hair”.
#19
Being racist and sexist without realizing it and then kinda shaming you for what you are.
I didn't call her back.
#20
I went on a date with a woman I'd been talking with for a couple of weeks. We lived in different towns, decided to meet up in a pub in her town.
I lasted less than a pint. All she did was run men down, say how useless we are, all after one thing, etc.
She seemed genuinely surprised when I stood up and said goodbye and walked out.
#21
Back before I met my bf, I went on a tinder date with a guy who was new to where I lived at the time. During conversation I mentioned offhand that there were certain places you didn’t want to walk after dark because a lot of people got mugged in those areas. This guy started mansplaning to me how it would be fine to walk there after dark, you just need to be confident, he’s a world traveler, nobody has ever bothered him etc. I was like, no dude trust me it isn’t safe, but he just kept talking over me. He seemed to view it as a challenge. He was arrogant in general but this was what made me make an excuse and leave the date early. Like ok dude, if you’re so tough then feel free to go get mugged
#22
When he tells you he's married, but wants something "on the side".
#23
Being inconsiderate...went on a date recently where the guy speed walked to the cafe exit and let the door close behind him as I was just getting to the door myself. I purposely slowed down to see his reaction and there wasn't even a backwards glance or motion to re-open the door or check I was okay (to account for why I wasn't immediately behind him).
I hold the door for people all the time so I don't see this as a gender thing.
Also not apologising when you made a mistake in an effort to seem infallible or self assured or whatever.
TLDR: Lack of consideration and lack of humility.
#24
I had a guy choke me during a bit of making out on the first date. I said I wasn't into that in public, definitely not with someone I'd just met and not while a bit buzzed. He proceeded to try/actually choke me during two follow up kisses (I was a bit drunk, if I was sober I would have ended it sooner) and then sulked and said it was just a joke when I said I was paying my half of the bill and going home alone.
So... Major deal breaker, don't choke someone you don't know.
#25
She brings her 3 kids that she failed to tell me about.
#26
Being late. I’m not talking a few minutes late, I’m talking a half hour late or anything later than that.
#27
No sense of humor or one that doesn't mesh well with mine.
Mrs Irish Mom 1 year ago
Had one date like this and im always laughing and joking, thought he was just nervous on 1st date so i went on 2nd date and he was giving out because i was laughing too much at the comedy club we were at 🤦♀️
#30
He only had a couple of lawn chairs as furniture in his living room because he’d just moved to this apartment. Later he explained that he didn’t have furniture because he had actually just got out of the State Penn.
Before I noped out of there, he explained he’d just talked to his mama about me, and knew I’d be a “real special, understanding lady.”
Turns out I’m not!
What do you think ?
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago (edited)
If during the first date (or at any point, actually), l have to sit through a 90 minutes talk about the ex, l'm shown where the ex does yoga (and how *I* should do yoga), and where her family's business is. Or if l'm sent unsolicited photos of...the ex. I have a strong problem with exes. I wonder why 🙄
Alexandra 1 year ago
This whole dating thing sounds terribly complicated. I met my husband almost 35 years ago when we were both playing waterpolo (for different teams). Do people still meet other people in the gym, at work or anywhere else other than a dating app?
Debbie 1 year ago
I would like to know as well. I'm single. I have a dating app but I don't really want it, but how else am I going to meet new people? Basically, I want to meet new people first, not think about them as potential partners straight away.
Load More Replies...
Debbie 1 year ago
I was chatting with a guy once, and there happened to be a movie shown in a park nearby, I was planning on going there, and asked him to come along. I said I know it's not the perfect first date, but I am going anyways and you can join if you like? He says yes, shows up, I brought chairs. We sit there, and the movie is a bit of an experimental movie, I wasn't really interested. He wasn't either. So he starts asking me questions, talking to me AT NORMAL VOLUME, while I do try to get a bit into the movie. After 15 minutes and several looks from people, I said: Ok let's go grab a drink at the square a bit further in the town. He says ok. We leave, and he says: but I haven't brought any money, I didn't think I'd need it. I said, that is ok, I'll pay. We sit down for a drink, talk a bit more, and he says his dad paid his subscription on tinder. I am 43, he probably was something around that age as well. I felt like I was his mother, like I had so much more life/social experience than him
Debbie 1 year ago
I felt he should find a sweet naieve woman who also doesn't have a social clue to start their journey together... (oh and he came by car, so must have brought at least his drivers license, so how can he not have a form of payment like a card with him?!) Tldr: - Don't show up to a date without money (eventhough the activity is free!) - If you agree to a movie, DON"T TALK THROUGH IT (then don't agree to go to the movie!)
Load More Replies...
Sonja 1 year ago
Not if you're a good listener and able to poke people the right way to talk about themselves, then you're golden
Load More Replies... Debbie 1 year ago
Two dates were complaining about their exes, they were single after a long relationship with kids, both single for about 5 - 6 months. (No wasn't dating them at the same time). And honestly, I understood their exes viewpoint. It weren't major things, they weren't toxic or anything, but I could so very well imagine this was my ex talking this way about me. And me seeing that in all those cases, it was a lack of good communication which caused the annoyances. When I realized I symphatized with their exes more then with them I also knew it was not going to work out.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Blind date asked what I liked as men's outfits (late 80s) said "well good fitting pant/jeans, boots are cool, etc". This was all during random conversations. Next few calls he's like I got some Levi's. Then next call Levi's 501s. Next call Levi's 501s buttonflys. Uhhh?? Then date. He picks me up at my house. We go to mall to walk an get to know each other. He's still pointing out the jeans. Wants to go shoe shopping for boots. I figure for him. No. Ladies shoe store. Not boots. Strappy heels. For me. He puts so many diff shoes on me. Makes me walk around. First few were ok. We having fun. Then gets more aggressive putting shoes on my feet and shooing the sales person off. Finally I'm like I need to take a break. Wearing candies slip on heels and I go out in front of the store for a break. He didn't follow. But came out two min later and hands me a shoe box. He bought me shoes. I'm like no this is too much (see reply of Cont. )
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
No he wants me to take the shoes. Ok fine I take them. We walk a little longer. I'm getting tired. He only now wants to sit somewhere and takes the shoebox and plays with the shoes inside. Ok I'm sure these fetishes weren't as open now as they were then an I'm like I gotta get home. So we go to the car and he opens my door and as I get I. He hands me the shoe box but one of my shoes slips off. He's diving to the ground to get my shoe and plays with it slowly putting it on an off my foot. I'm kinda laughing but getting really freaked as I want to go home. So we finally get my shoe on an back to my house. He's still talking by about the damn jeans too by the way. And goes in for the kid. I had to literally fake an asthma attack to get out of the car an deflect the kiss. Also didn't look like he said he did and was way shorter too like to my shoulders so when I wore my heels I figured I'd be his height. I got out an (Cont)
Load More Replies...
bElLa sTairZz 1 year ago
another one is if they rant on how much they hate their ex, its either a sign that their not over them, or that they will treat you like that when you break up or fight
Tiny Dancer 1 year ago
Luckily, I haven't had a lot of first dates to compare, but my most memorable had to be a New Year's Eve date at a local drag club many moons ago. I'm bi and this was a rare blind date with another woman. We picked the venue together, no surprise there, conversation flowed, the show was terrific, we were cool until midnight when all heck broke loose. Seems she was terrified of balloons. Like running away from the hundreds of balloons falling from the ceiling, literally screaming when they touched her. If it hadn't been my darn date it would have been hilarious to watch, I'm sure. She left in tears and we never spoke again. Why go out on New Year's Eve if you're scared of balloons?! Madness.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
had a similar thing with a bird phobic. I've learnt to ask people whether they have phobias and dietary restrictions first.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 1 year ago
First date, chose to pick the same drink as me and then kept moaning about not liking it as if forced. Starting asking about my breeding capabilities and we're off! He asked for a second date and had the massive cahoonas to claim I wasn't kind nor decent enough for him and when I declined. He was looking for a ticket to stay in the country and a brood mare.
Dan St John 1 year ago
When I read these stories, I am always thankful for not having to do this stuff. Happily married for 40 years and counting.
Super Beast 1 year ago (edited)
wow - this list is miserably mistitled. most of these are people judging people. you can ignore most of these.
Rostit . 1 year ago
that is what dating is. judging if you are compatible with someone.
Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago (edited)
If during the first date (or at any point, actually), l have to sit through a 90 minutes talk about the ex, l'm shown where the ex does yoga (and how *I* should do yoga), and where her family's business is. Or if l'm sent unsolicited photos of...the ex. I have a strong problem with exes. I wonder why 🙄
Alexandra 1 year ago
This whole dating thing sounds terribly complicated. I met my husband almost 35 years ago when we were both playing waterpolo (for different teams). Do people still meet other people in the gym, at work or anywhere else other than a dating app?
Debbie 1 year ago
I would like to know as well. I'm single. I have a dating app but I don't really want it, but how else am I going to meet new people? Basically, I want to meet new people first, not think about them as potential partners straight away.
Load More Replies... Debbie 1 year ago
I was chatting with a guy once, and there happened to be a movie shown in a park nearby, I was planning on going there, and asked him to come along. I said I know it's not the perfect first date, but I am going anyways and you can join if you like? He says yes, shows up, I brought chairs. We sit there, and the movie is a bit of an experimental movie, I wasn't really interested. He wasn't either. So he starts asking me questions, talking to me AT NORMAL VOLUME, while I do try to get a bit into the movie. After 15 minutes and several looks from people, I said: Ok let's go grab a drink at the square a bit further in the town. He says ok. We leave, and he says: but I haven't brought any money, I didn't think I'd need it. I said, that is ok, I'll pay. We sit down for a drink, talk a bit more, and he says his dad paid his subscription on tinder. I am 43, he probably was something around that age as well. I felt like I was his mother, like I had so much more life/social experience than him
Debbie 1 year ago
I felt he should find a sweet naieve woman who also doesn't have a social clue to start their journey together... (oh and he came by car, so must have brought at least his drivers license, so how can he not have a form of payment like a card with him?!) Tldr: - Don't show up to a date without money (eventhough the activity is free!) - If you agree to a movie, DON"T TALK THROUGH IT (then don't agree to go to the movie!)
Load More Replies... Sonja 1 year ago
Not if you're a good listener and able to poke people the right way to talk about themselves, then you're golden
Load More Replies... Debbie 1 year ago
Two dates were complaining about their exes, they were single after a long relationship with kids, both single for about 5 - 6 months. (No wasn't dating them at the same time). And honestly, I understood their exes viewpoint. It weren't major things, they weren't toxic or anything, but I could so very well imagine this was my ex talking this way about me. And me seeing that in all those cases, it was a lack of good communication which caused the annoyances. When I realized I symphatized with their exes more then with them I also knew it was not going to work out.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
Blind date asked what I liked as men's outfits (late 80s) said "well good fitting pant/jeans, boots are cool, etc". This was all during random conversations. Next few calls he's like I got some Levi's. Then next call Levi's 501s. Next call Levi's 501s buttonflys. Uhhh?? Then date. He picks me up at my house. We go to mall to walk an get to know each other. He's still pointing out the jeans. Wants to go shoe shopping for boots. I figure for him. No. Ladies shoe store. Not boots. Strappy heels. For me. He puts so many diff shoes on me. Makes me walk around. First few were ok. We having fun. Then gets more aggressive putting shoes on my feet and shooing the sales person off. Finally I'm like I need to take a break. Wearing candies slip on heels and I go out in front of the store for a break. He didn't follow. But came out two min later and hands me a shoe box. He bought me shoes. I'm like no this is too much (see reply of Cont. )
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
No he wants me to take the shoes. Ok fine I take them. We walk a little longer. I'm getting tired. He only now wants to sit somewhere and takes the shoebox and plays with the shoes inside. Ok I'm sure these fetishes weren't as open now as they were then an I'm like I gotta get home. So we go to the car and he opens my door and as I get I. He hands me the shoe box but one of my shoes slips off. He's diving to the ground to get my shoe and plays with it slowly putting it on an off my foot. I'm kinda laughing but getting really freaked as I want to go home. So we finally get my shoe on an back to my house. He's still talking by about the damn jeans too by the way. And goes in for the kid. I had to literally fake an asthma attack to get out of the car an deflect the kiss. Also didn't look like he said he did and was way shorter too like to my shoulders so when I wore my heels I figured I'd be his height. I got out an (Cont)
Load More Replies... bElLa sTairZz 1 year ago
another one is if they rant on how much they hate their ex, its either a sign that their not over them, or that they will treat you like that when you break up or fight
Tiny Dancer 1 year ago
Luckily, I haven't had a lot of first dates to compare, but my most memorable had to be a New Year's Eve date at a local drag club many moons ago. I'm bi and this was a rare blind date with another woman. We picked the venue together, no surprise there, conversation flowed, the show was terrific, we were cool until midnight when all heck broke loose. Seems she was terrified of balloons. Like running away from the hundreds of balloons falling from the ceiling, literally screaming when they touched her. If it hadn't been my darn date it would have been hilarious to watch, I'm sure. She left in tears and we never spoke again. Why go out on New Year's Eve if you're scared of balloons?! Madness.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
had a similar thing with a bird phobic. I've learnt to ask people whether they have phobias and dietary restrictions first.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 1 year ago
First date, chose to pick the same drink as me and then kept moaning about not liking it as if forced. Starting asking about my breeding capabilities and we're off! He asked for a second date and had the massive cahoonas to claim I wasn't kind nor decent enough for him and when I declined. He was looking for a ticket to stay in the country and a brood mare.
Dan St John 1 year ago
When I read these stories, I am always thankful for not having to do this stuff. Happily married for 40 years and counting.
Super Beast 1 year ago (edited)
wow - this list is miserably mistitled. most of these are people judging people. you can ignore most of these.
Rostit . 1 year ago
that is what dating is. judging if you are compatible with someone.
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