Technically, no one is obligated to tip. But in reality, most servers rely on patrons’ generosity for the bulk of their incomes, as the federal minimum wage for tipped employees in the United States is as low as $2.13 an hour. While not tipping is simply not an option for many diners, some feel baffled by the practice as it offloads the burden of giving workers a fair paycheck to the customers. And others try to manipulate the system and pay for nothing more than their meals.

One recent story shared on the AITA subreddit puts this into practice. Redditor InformationPrimary31 detailed how a recent family dinner led to some shocked dining companions, confused servers, and a scene when it came to settling the bill. While spending some quality time at the restaurant, the thought that their “boomer” father-in-law doesn’t tip was at the back of their mind. So they decided to do something about it.

The user secretly dropped 20% on top in cash to “do right by the server”. And while they weren’t trying to be “a hero or a jerk,” the situation turned sour after FIL found out and blamed them for embarrassing him in front of the whole family. Read on to find out how the situation unfolded, as well as the verdict readers were quick to deem, and share your own thoughts with us in the comments.

After their “boomer” father-in-law left a fairly low tip when he took the whole family out to dinner, this person secretly tipped the server

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

But when their actions sparked tension within the family, they asked the internet for perspective

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Image credits: InformationPrimary31

After reading the story, Redditors unanimously sided with the user and agreed they were not a jerk for leaving an additional tip to the server. Many applauded them for considering the server’s well-being, although some mentioned suggestions on how to better handle the situation and avoid sparking drama within the family.

For example, some people noted it would have been better if the user was honest and upfront with the FIL from the get-go, and others chimed in saying they should have given the money to the server directly. Oh, and to all of my fellow Friends fans, if this situation sounds familiar to you, it’s exactly what happened on one episode of the show.

However, the topic of the post sparks further discussion. Heated debates around the gratuity system have recently bounced back into the headlines. One side is saying that the practice of pressuring customers to leave a generous tip regardless of the service is getting out of hand. Others argue that servers’ and bartenders’ salaries are often so low, they deserve to be rewarded for their efforts, especially considering that they have to rely on tips just to get by.

On paper, tipping is a way of showing appreciation to people providing a service. But Irene Tung, senior researcher and policy analyst at the National Employment Law Project, explained that the median share of hourly earnings that come from tips add up to 58% of wait staff’s earnings, and 54% of bartenders’ earnings. To the workers, gratuity is not only a kind “thank you”, but rather a means to help them make ends meet.

While we often hear that servers can make good money when customers are generous, that doesn’t seem to be the case. “We found that the median monthly tip earnings for wait staff and bartenders are $867, suggesting that many of these workers depend on their tip earnings to pay for essential expenses such as rent and utilities,” Tung continued.

But even with tips, workers still earn very little on an hourly and annual basis: “Median hourly earnings for waiters and bartenders are a meager $10.11 per hour, including tips.1 That is just $2.86 above the current federal wage floor, and far below what workers throughout the country need to make ends meet.”

So even though the tipping system is an outdated practice that doesn’t seem to benefit the customers or the service, refusing to leave gratuities to rebel against the practice usually leaves the employees paying the price.

Bored Panda would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. What do you think about the gratuity system? Would you have handled the situation differently? Feel free to share your opinions, as well as personal experiences, in the comments below.

They later jumped to the comment section with a few details to clarify the story

Readers overwhelmingly sided with the user and shared some suggestions on how to handle these situations

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