Generally, most of us would prefer to really know who we were getting married to, which is why it’s never advisable to believe the honeymoon part of a relationship is representative of the entire thing. But what is just as scary is the fact that people can change and sometimes those changes can be for the worst.

A woman decided to reconsider her entire engagement after her fiancé would not stop making deeply misogynistic comments. We also got in touch with the woman who shared the story and she was kind enough to provide some more details.

It’s important to have compatible beliefs with your partner if you plan to get married

Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Pexels (not the actual photo)

But one woman grew exhausted from the horrible things her fiancé kept saying about women

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ataraxic-Metanoia

Later she shared a sizable update

Image credits: Alena Darmel  / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ataraxic-Metanoia

Some men truly embrace this skewed and misogynistic view of gender norms

Bored Panda got in touch with the woman in the story and she was kind enough to give some more details. First of all, we wanted to hear her opinion on why the story went viral. ” To be honest, I don’t know why people found this so engaging. When I posted it, I was hoping maybe 20 people would reply so I could get some perspective. When I woke up to see that thousands of comments were on the post, I assumed it was a glitch. The comments I found helpful were from other people who’d gone through similar things. Some had lost partners or family members to the MRA bs. Some were just abuse victims who told me that he’s showing signs of the early stages of having an abusive partner. He never physically abused me, but it’s scary to think that, if I’d stayed, it may have escalated to that.”

We also wanted to know if there were any further details after the additional post she made. “It’s not in the update post, but the number of friends coming forward to tell me they didn’t like him is staggering. I was already with him when we met at college or work, so they weren’t really comfortable telling me flat out to leave him. Looking back, though, it was clear they didn’t like him, but I was blindly in love”

“I would like to add how important it is to take online radicalization seriously. Some people said that he was always a red-faced misogynist and just waited a decade to reveal his true self. If I’m being honest, I don’t think he was. Manosphere spaces are recruiting boys and men using cult-like tactics. They convince them that anything contrary to Men’s Rights rhetoric is a delusion, a trick, or a lie. Despite being together for 12 years (10 preradicalization), he now believes that we can not have a happy relationship unless I am a tradwife. Because he believes that he is trying to save our relationship and save me from “feminist brainwashing”, he can’t be moved. Writing him off as “always a secret misogynist” ignores the serious problem of online radicalization.”

It can sometimes be hard to tell if your partner is actually compatible with you

It goes without saying that getting married is a pretty major commitment. If you are going to spend the rest of your life together with someone, you really, really need to be on the same page. This is why so many high-school-sweetheart-to-married-couple relationships fall apart, neither party actually knows the other that well.

Indeed, often enough, they don’t even know themselves yet. However, this story is one of those sad cases where it did seem like both people had a solid idea of who the other person was until personalities started to diverge. As shocking as his behavior was to the woman, we also need to consider his surprise that she was not at all interested in what he was putting down.

After all, he seemed to be operating under the assumption that she was picking up what he was putting down. Almost as badly, as she shared in the update, he suddenly decided that she should be a stay-at-home-mom. This was never part of her plan and it seems like a recent idea he wanted to push onto her.

Some couples choose this sort of arrangement and it works for them. However, it’s pretty clear that this woman is not at all interested. It’s not surprising that his behavior has her on edge. He doesn’t seem to want her to be a SATM because it “makes more sense,” he truly believes that it’s a superior social system.

A simple glance at crime statistics would suggest he is embarrassingly misguided

In other words, he is a bonafide misogynist. If even half of the examples she gives are true, it would appear that he spends way too much time working himself up about the “problems” women cause while severely underplaying male violent crime. Yes, there are women who commit crimes, even against men. But if committing crimes is enough to condemn an entire gender, men are really in trouble.

For example, in the United States, there are nine times more incarcerated men than women. On average, three quarters of people who are arrested are men. Even worse, men commit a staggering 89% of homicides. In the US, they also commit a horrifying 98% of SA’s and men commit the vast majority of burglaries, robberies and most arsonists are men. Interestingly, the only fields where women begin to even get close to male numbers are white-collar crimes, such as fraud and embezzlement. Importantly, these are non-violent crimes. This really shouldn’t surprise anyone, but men also commit 96% of domestic violence.

Men do tend to be the victims of most male crime, outside of SA and domestic violence, so perhaps the fiancé should redirect his energy towards helping his fellow males. It’s bizarre that he should insist that this role is to “protect” his wife when, statistically, he is the biggest threat to her.

These are just US statistics, but broadly speaking, men commit vastly more violent crime. One global study suggested that men are responsible for 95% of murders in the entire world. It’s almost surprising that the average person isn’t more scared of a random man they encounter. His beliefs are immature, misguided, hypocritical and she shouldn’t just leave him, she really should run.

Most people suggested that she really needs to get away from him

A few netizens decided to take the man’s side

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