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Pregnant Woman Rewrites Her Will After Fiancé Disregards Her Life-Threatening Allergy
Interview With Expert
While we use laundry detergents regularly, we don’t always realize the effects they can have on our health. This seemingly harmless household product can cause allergic reactions that trigger skin irritations and discomfort. In extreme cases, it can even lead to anaphylactic shock. To ensure one’s safety, it’s important to communicate this to people around them and ensure the allergy is respected.
Redditor Blumendieb found it difficult to get through this to her fiancé. He kept complaining that the detergent they use, which is safe for her, doesn’t make their clothes smell good. So he decided to wash their laundry with it anyway, which not only endangered her but also their unborn son.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with blogger and food allergy expert Alyssa Perkins from The Cook and Chew Food Review, who kindly agreed to answer a few questions about allergies and relationships.
RELATED:
Seemingly harmless laundry detergent can lead to skin irritations and even severe allergies
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
This man posed a risk to his wife-to-be after he downplayed her allergy to this household product
Image credits: shotprime / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Blumendieb
Laundry detergent allergies affect less than 1% of the population
Image credits: No Revisions / pexels (not the actual photo)
Allergic reactions to detergents are relatively rare, affecting less than 1% of the population. When a person who has it wears clothes that are washed with a product containing one or more ingredients they are sensitive to, their body has a negative reaction called contact dermatitis.
Symptoms of this condition include itchiness and red rashes with bumps and blisters. A person can also suffer from dry skin, cracking, burning, and flaking. In addition to various skin issues, laundry detergent can also irritate the cells in the lungs, leading to asthma and other severe reactions.
The ingredients in detergents that are most likely to irritate are fragrances, preservatives, and surfactants. Some people are also allergic to dyes used to give color to the cleaner. Preservatives are added to products to prolong their shelf life and kill bacteria or fungi. Surfactants help to break up stains and prevent the dirt from sticking back on the clothes.
Allergy symptoms from detergents can appear within a few hours or as late as 10 days after exposure to the allergen. When such reactions are noticed, it’s best to change the product to a hypoallergenic one that is specifically made for sensitive skin. To reduce buildup in the clothes and decrease exposure, it’s recommended to choose liquid over powder products, pour less of it, and make sure to rinse it thoroughly.
It’s important to openly communicate about allergies to partners
Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Ensuring your safety can be challenging on your own, but there’s an added layer of complexity when another person is romantically involved. To find out more about allergies and relationships, Bored Panda reached out to blogger and food allergy expert Alyssa Perkins from The Cook and Chew Food Review.
“Depending on the severity of the allergy, it may mean the allergen can’t be present in your house at all, which means your partner won’t be able to prepare or eat that food while at home and will have to take extra precautions
if they consume it outside your home,” she says.
Perkins believes that severe reactions to certain products can definitely put a strain on the relationship, as many allergies require compromise or dietary restrictions for everyone in the household. “For example, someone with celiac disease has to abstain from gluten in every form (please note that celiac disease is an autoimmune disease, not an allergy, but the same rules apply).
It can be incredibly difficult or even impossible to keep a kitchen celiac-safe while also preparing gluten-containing items. So, in a lot of cases, everyone who lives in the household has to eat gluten-free. Some partners may not be willing to make those kinds of sacrifices or may become resentful.
Even if they eat the allergen outside of the home, they will need to thoroughly clean their mouth, face, and any facial hair before kissing or becoming intimate with their partner who has an allergy. Some people may find that too much to deal with.”
Therefore, she recommends being upfront about severe food allergies when a person is starting a relationship. “This is why I recommend being very upfront about severe food allergies when you start a relationship. It may seem awkward, but it’s less awkward than having to ask, “Hey, could you go rinse your mouth out first?” if your date leans in for a good night kiss.”
If a partner doesn’t respect safety precautions, Perkins would consider it a red flag. “Well, if it were me, first I would want to make absolutely sure they understood how serious the allergy is. If they still don’t respect my safety precautions, or even tried to “test” if your allergy is real or not—I would personally consider that a red flag.”
To partners who want to support their significant other with allergies, Perkins recommends learning everything that can set their reaction. “Be willing to avoid the allergy yourself if necessary. Let your partner know you consider their health more important than your personal food preferences. Help your partner spot potential allergen sources, especially in restaurants and other public settings. Back them up if others question the severity of their allergy.”
The author provided more information in the comments
Readers sympathized with her and even provided suggestions
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What do you think ?
TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
Get back to your home country NOW. Your baby needs to be born there. I'm not joking. Talk to your lawyer. There are so many women stuck in foreign countries (including nice developed countries,e.g. Spain) because their children were born there and the-now-discovered-to-be-scumbag father won't give permission for the children to be taken abroad. You have usually more control if your child is born in your home country. Good luck to you and the brand new miniature being.
ॐBoyGanesh 4 months ago
This is absolutely the most important objective. Once he controls the child’s travel, he has control over her. Unless she opts to give him custody. My father is Dutch, mother American, they met on holiday in Caribbean. Initially she was going to have me in Netherlands, but lacked her personal support system & was overwhelmed by how much my paternal family was involved in her pregnancy & forcing decisions. She was terrified she’d never be able to take me home to the US after I was born, so flew back to San Francisco to be with family & give birth to me. My little brother was born when I was two & we were living in India with her then partner, an Indian national. They didn’t stay together through the pregnancy, but he wielded control over her/us, by restricting our travel (I was able to travel with relatives). It took 5+ years before we moved back and only then because my brothers dad passed away. Still, it took nearly a year of bureaucratic nonsense before we could leave.
Load More Replies...
Trillian 4 months ago
I would not marry a guy who disregards my health like that and is being sneaky about that for the sake of NICE SMELLING CLOTHES? WTF?
ValdaDeDieu 4 months ago (edited)
This is a gigantic red flag. I think she knows it intuitively, or she would not have changed her will. She seems numb to the danger. Depending on which state they live in, with Abortion laws being what they are, if she has a severe enough allergic reaction to bring on a miscarriage, she will not be given any medical attention to remove the fetus - if not viable, she will be left in extreme pain for her body to "pass it naturally" - and since most times the body is too exhausted to do so without help, she could go into sepsis and die. If she lives, she could be prosecuted. She simply has no idea the danger she's in. Her fiance does not love her. She needs to love herself.
Load More Replies...
Deborah B 4 months ago
House or not, OP, you need to immediately return to your home country. Your fiance is showing his true personality. Lack of respect for you, lack of concern for your comfort and safety. You are less important to him than fabric softener. This is not a good relationship, and it is very likely he will get worse. If this baby is born in his country, you may not be able to remove the child from the country later. Do not let yourself be trapped in a foreign country. Please go home.
pep Ito 4 months ago
She does not indicate in which country she is living but there are countries like Spain and I suppose others in the world in which to avoid the kidnapping of children in international marriages by one of their parents who for revenge take them to their country and cut all relationship of the child with the other parent, the child to leave the country must travel with both parents or with a document proving the permission of the other parent.
Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
Get back to your home country NOW. Your baby needs to be born there. I'm not joking. Talk to your lawyer. There are so many women stuck in foreign countries (including nice developed countries,e.g. Spain) because their children were born there and the-now-discovered-to-be-scumbag father won't give permission for the children to be taken abroad. You have usually more control if your child is born in your home country. Good luck to you and the brand new miniature being.
ॐBoyGanesh 4 months ago
This is absolutely the most important objective. Once he controls the child’s travel, he has control over her. Unless she opts to give him custody. My father is Dutch, mother American, they met on holiday in Caribbean. Initially she was going to have me in Netherlands, but lacked her personal support system & was overwhelmed by how much my paternal family was involved in her pregnancy & forcing decisions. She was terrified she’d never be able to take me home to the US after I was born, so flew back to San Francisco to be with family & give birth to me. My little brother was born when I was two & we were living in India with her then partner, an Indian national. They didn’t stay together through the pregnancy, but he wielded control over her/us, by restricting our travel (I was able to travel with relatives). It took 5+ years before we moved back and only then because my brothers dad passed away. Still, it took nearly a year of bureaucratic nonsense before we could leave.
Load More Replies... Trillian 4 months ago
I would not marry a guy who disregards my health like that and is being sneaky about that for the sake of NICE SMELLING CLOTHES? WTF?
ValdaDeDieu 4 months ago (edited)
This is a gigantic red flag. I think she knows it intuitively, or she would not have changed her will. She seems numb to the danger. Depending on which state they live in, with Abortion laws being what they are, if she has a severe enough allergic reaction to bring on a miscarriage, she will not be given any medical attention to remove the fetus - if not viable, she will be left in extreme pain for her body to "pass it naturally" - and since most times the body is too exhausted to do so without help, she could go into sepsis and die. If she lives, she could be prosecuted. She simply has no idea the danger she's in. Her fiance does not love her. She needs to love herself.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 4 months ago
House or not, OP, you need to immediately return to your home country. Your fiance is showing his true personality. Lack of respect for you, lack of concern for your comfort and safety. You are less important to him than fabric softener. This is not a good relationship, and it is very likely he will get worse. If this baby is born in his country, you may not be able to remove the child from the country later. Do not let yourself be trapped in a foreign country. Please go home.
pep Ito 4 months ago
She does not indicate in which country she is living but there are countries like Spain and I suppose others in the world in which to avoid the kidnapping of children in international marriages by one of their parents who for revenge take them to their country and cut all relationship of the child with the other parent, the child to leave the country must travel with both parents or with a document proving the permission of the other parent.
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