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Man Confronts His Mom For Hating His Fiancée, Has To Call For Backup As She Flies Off The Handle
Lots of people might say that their mom is their best friend. If they have a close relationship, love spending time together and open up to one another about anything and everything, it might truly feel like they’re BFFs. But being too close with your children can become an issue if it starts to hinder their personal relationships…
One woman recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fiancé’s mother decided that the bride shouldn’t be wearing white to her own wedding. Below, you’ll find the full story of this family drama, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
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This woman is excited to be wedding planning with the love of her life
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But when his mother decided that she shouldn’t wear a white dress, the bride considered calling off the wedding altogether
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Past-Professional384
Readers were quick to call out their concerns, and the bride joined in on the conversation to share more details
Later, the bride returned with an update after talking to her fiancé
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Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Past-Professional384
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In-laws aren’t always welcoming towards new members of the family
It’s certainly not uncommon for women to have issues with their mother-in-law. In fact, a study by psychologist Terri Apter found that a whopping 75% of couples admit that they’ve had issues with an in-law. But why exactly is this? Aren’t we supposed to be on our best behavior with people that we’re not technically related to?
Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, explained in a blog post for Psychology Today that one reason for this family drama might be the fact that parents often have an idea of who they want their child to end up with. If the partner that their child chooses is a freelance artist, rather than a prestigious lawyer, Mom and Dad might have a hard time accepting them into the family.
Or, perhaps the person chosen to join the family comes from a less affluent background. If your parents have always pictured you ending up with someone who goes to the same country club as them, they might be less than welcoming. But Fugère also notes that their discomfort may have to do with how you look.
If someone is too attractive, their partner’s parents might be intimidated by them. Or perhaps, they’ll wonder if they’re actually going to be faithful to their beloved child. And when it comes to mothers of men in particular, Fugère says that these “boy moms” sometimes discourage romantic relationships without even realizing.
If a mother is close with her son, she might have a hard time accepting the fact that she won’t be the most important woman in his life anymore. She may try to drive a wedge between her son and his partner in an attempt to bring him closer to her once again.
Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s never fair for parents to control their children
While the mom in this story might believe that she’s simply a concerned and loving mother, many commented that her behavior towards her son is inappropriate. And she might be exhibiting signs of a form of emotional manipulation.
According to Charlie Health, it’s unhealthy for parents to overshare details of their romantic relationships with their children, discuss their marital issues with their kids, put their own emotional needs above their child’s needs, become jealous of their child’s relationships and make their child feel guilty for not agreeing with all of their demands.
Why do parents act this way towards their kids? Well, they might be struggling with unresolved mental health issues, have never learned healthy boundaries, have trust issues or not have access to a support system. But those aren’t valid excuses to take advantage of their children or manipulate their emotions.
When parents use their kids in these ways, it can hinder the child’s ability to develop healthy emotional boundaries. So instead of telling his mother “no,” the man in this story may have felt like he had to accept whatever she asked of him, no matter what. Adults might also struggle making their own decisions if they were raised in a household where they were treated this way by Mom and Dad.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride was overreacting, or was she right to set boundaries with her fiancé’s mother? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes right here!
Readers applauded the woman for setting boundaries and wished her luck before her conversation with her fiancé’s mother
Finally, the bride came back with one last update
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Readers poured out support for the woman in the replies
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What do you think ?
TribbleThinking 6 days ago
You just watched John confront every weapon his mother as been throwing at him to flip flop over the years. I was in hospital when I heard one nurse reporting to another that a Covid patient was saying she had difficulty breathing. The senior nurse said "A patient who was really struggling wouldn't be able to say that". Lol. John may find it of comfort to understand that *shouting* "I can't breathe" means that his mother is fine.
Kristen Sharp 6 days ago
Exactly! All these "Karens" that get worked up over nothing and then "I can't breathe!!!" Sure you can! You're talking aren't you?? If you couldn't breathe, you wouldn't be talking!" I have bad asthma... I get it!
Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife 6 days ago
I have so much respect for the OP. Hoping all goes well in the future.
Dirk Daring 6 days ago
If anything else up to that point hadn't been the final straw, "mothers are forever, wives are not" should have been. GTFO
KatSaidWhat 6 days ago
Main character/c**t situation. The smart money says she arrives in white anyway. The nice money says there's a red wine incident.
Kristen Sharp 6 days ago
I'm not a wine drinker, but I sure as s*** would purposefully dump a whole bottle of the darkest red on her!
Load More Replies...
Beth Wheeler 6 days ago
I knew in the beginning that Debbie was creepy/crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if she's also a Karen to people. So glad that John finally saw the light and is getting help. They have a long road ahead of them.
Rahul Pawa 6 days ago
What a rollercoaster! I appreciate OP for finishing the story, and thanks to the BP writer for being thorough about including the updates!
K. LNU 6 days ago
I hope OP and John break the cycle. Just like any other type of abuse, it can continue on through generations if the abusee (not the right term, but I can't think of the right one at this moment) does not get help to get out. Also, I do hope "Debbie" gets the help she desperately needs. She sounds like a sad/angry woman.
Sassafrass 6 days ago
I hope they have security at their wedding, because I don't believe for a second that she won't start wailing or throwing a fit there.
Michelle Randazzo 6 days ago
Deb hates you, resents you and you are taking over Her Wedding!! Run!!! This is the beginning of a nightmare. Her ex husband got out, you should too.
Paul Sloan 6 days ago
This mother will make damn sure her son is paying alimony in a few years.
DrBronxx 2 days ago
That. Was. Riveting. From an entertainment standpoint, it was great to get a more-or-less complete story here. I hope John ends up ok, and that his mother actually accepts help for her mental state. Good on OP for her entire approach, including showing John the Reddit post and staying silent during the final showdown.
Argie Smith 4 days ago
Been there, done this, got divorced. MIL continued to make my life hell for 7 years, hubby wouldn't see it. In the end, I saw his loyalties were with her and left him. Best decision would have been not to marry him, but I made the second best one, I guess. P.S. He's been married and divorced twice since. Me? Found my guy and 23 years later still going strong!
TribbleThinking 6 days ago
You just watched John confront every weapon his mother as been throwing at him to flip flop over the years. I was in hospital when I heard one nurse reporting to another that a Covid patient was saying she had difficulty breathing. The senior nurse said "A patient who was really struggling wouldn't be able to say that". Lol. John may find it of comfort to understand that *shouting* "I can't breathe" means that his mother is fine.
Kristen Sharp 6 days ago
Exactly! All these "Karens" that get worked up over nothing and then "I can't breathe!!!" Sure you can! You're talking aren't you?? If you couldn't breathe, you wouldn't be talking!" I have bad asthma... I get it!
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 6 days ago
I have so much respect for the OP. Hoping all goes well in the future.
Dirk Daring 6 days ago
If anything else up to that point hadn't been the final straw, "mothers are forever, wives are not" should have been. GTFO
KatSaidWhat 6 days ago
Main character/c**t situation. The smart money says she arrives in white anyway. The nice money says there's a red wine incident.
Kristen Sharp 6 days ago
I'm not a wine drinker, but I sure as s*** would purposefully dump a whole bottle of the darkest red on her!
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 6 days ago
I knew in the beginning that Debbie was creepy/crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if she's also a Karen to people. So glad that John finally saw the light and is getting help. They have a long road ahead of them.
Rahul Pawa 6 days ago
What a rollercoaster! I appreciate OP for finishing the story, and thanks to the BP writer for being thorough about including the updates!
K. LNU 6 days ago
I hope OP and John break the cycle. Just like any other type of abuse, it can continue on through generations if the abusee (not the right term, but I can't think of the right one at this moment) does not get help to get out. Also, I do hope "Debbie" gets the help she desperately needs. She sounds like a sad/angry woman.
Sassafrass 6 days ago
I hope they have security at their wedding, because I don't believe for a second that she won't start wailing or throwing a fit there.
Michelle Randazzo 6 days ago
Deb hates you, resents you and you are taking over Her Wedding!! Run!!! This is the beginning of a nightmare. Her ex husband got out, you should too.
Paul Sloan 6 days ago
This mother will make damn sure her son is paying alimony in a few years.
DrBronxx 2 days ago
That. Was. Riveting. From an entertainment standpoint, it was great to get a more-or-less complete story here. I hope John ends up ok, and that his mother actually accepts help for her mental state. Good on OP for her entire approach, including showing John the Reddit post and staying silent during the final showdown.
Argie Smith 4 days ago
Been there, done this, got divorced. MIL continued to make my life hell for 7 years, hubby wouldn't see it. In the end, I saw his loyalties were with her and left him. Best decision would have been not to marry him, but I made the second best one, I guess. P.S. He's been married and divorced twice since. Me? Found my guy and 23 years later still going strong!
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