Clean and well groomed is always sexy. One of the sexiest men I ever met was a coworker who really wasn't attractive in the conventional sense at all. But he was well groomed and well dressed and funny as all get out.

I hate this level of generalizing. No "men", and "women" don't think that, some do. Maybe many do, but not "men", or "women". And my rant isn't the same as those whiners saying "not all men" about toxic masculinity posts, because those aren't talking about "men" they are talking about *toxic* masculinity (not all masculinity), where as this post implies *all* men subscribe to the "male power fantasy" and *all* women don't care about looks, which isn't even vaguely true. The one quality quote from this post is: “allowing yourself to see the world through someone else’s eyes helps you gain empathy for that person, and I think a lot of [people] lack empathy and understanding of how [other people] see the world”. --- edit --- Note that I'm talking about the overall article and how the message is presented, not the message itself. I shouldn't have been so confrontational with my post... but I guess that's what happens when you rant.

I prefer a fit man. There, I said it. I'm a size 6 and would prefer a man's body to compliment mine. I'm not curvy, so he doesn't have to be dripping in muscles, but I'm not attracted to a dad bod or beanpole either. I just want healthy.

Gender studies or no, I personally think the whole "female gaze" argument here is stupid. Imho, probably what's happening is stereotyping--there's a certain negative stereotype surrounding that particular kind of selfie men use, showing off muscles, staring at the phone, taking a picture of their reflection. Too many men who have turned out to be as*holes have repeatedly used this exact format and so the negative stereotype associated with that kind of image is a self-absorbed, vain jerk. It may or may not be true of this guy, but that's the impression being given off. In the hiking photo and the more "casual" one, though, he seems friendlier, and more candid images give off more approachable impressions. It's not so much that women don't care about attractiveness as they care about "does this guy give me a jerk vibe", and so a profile pic can make all the difference in how a guy comes across on social media.

I mean... she never got to the explanation? Or it just doesn’t seem to be posted here. Either way, I kinda get what she’s saying. A guy can be hot, but nobody cares if he’s a bitch or a loser. Hotness isn’t the foot in the door for men, the way it is for women. We want more than that, and will accept a less attractive person if they have the cool factor, which makes them physically more attractive. Personally I want it all. Unnaturally smart, exceptionally good looking, ambitious, funny, all of it. I don’t think I could accept less in a partner. I think looks matter for most women, it’s just that we tie the physical attraction level in to how “cool / smart” a person is and those things can make a guy physically ugly if he’s lacking them. Rough deal if you ask me, but it’s how it goes.

I think that this is quite sexist in consequence, as it implies that men can just look however they want and work on their personality (something which everyone has some kind of control over, in contrast to raw physical beauty that just exists or not) while still expecting their girlfriend to be pretty, because 'men just are visually wired' or something like this. Not only that the straight assumption of her that 'women don't really care that much about looks' (which is very generalising and weird coming from someone who should know better than to generalise an entire gender) is wrong, it also results in highly unfair 'attractiveness conditions' for men and women, as 'ugly' women are rather left out in the cold.

Hi. Married 33 years in August. Both men and women need to do a little future thinking about the person they will marry and spend their lives with...hopefully. That "attractiveness" factor is going to change in ways you can't imagine! Let me list a few (there are many) of the things that have affected that attractiveness quotient in our 33 years together. Three pregnancies, each one a 10lb + baby delivered by c-section. Desk jobs. Cancer. Chemo. Income level. Vision changes. Gray hair. Receding hairlines. Scars. Surgeries. Sagging boobs. Bigger bellies and that trunk full of junk. I could go on but you get my point. Vanity drives us to choose a mate others will be impressed with. Others will not have to live with Prince Charming when he's 65, wearing glasses, going gray and asks you if you have denture cream on the shopping list. If you think that this can't happen to your strapping, virile man pray it does ladies. Time and gravity are not your friends.

I see the word Tiktok and automatically skip the post

I feel the same way about women. There are pretty ones and there are attractive ones. But some how the attractive ones are rarely conventionally pretty.

So where's the "what women actually care about" part?

Aesthetics are different than men expect, they're not absent. You want someone who is well dressed and has a reasonably toned body -- but it's not like the guy with the most expensive suit or the biggest muscles is the winner. The aesthetics extend to cleanliness and grooming. You want someone who doesn't stink, who cares for their hair and teeth and skin.

I agree she's book smart, But the generalizing, and using dating app pictures is not an actual representation of why and how relationships form. "this is what men think" and "this what women want" is a big red flag. If you're looking for the prefect guy or gal based on a photo, you might as well roll the die. Book educated in not the real thing when it comes to the minutia that actually makes a good relationship.

Looks matter, but in general, a woman looks at a man for clues as to what's important to him, which tells us what he's like inside.

The commenters themselves debunk the very lies this bogus scam article wants to put out.Bluepilled men still think looks,height,dicksize dont matter lmao

Safety is of a different importance to women, so a non threatening man is therefore attractive.

if a have to choose on a visual basis (like tinder)i just prefer men with a cute face, sympathic looks and a bio

A guy who is put together is much more attractive than the guy who looks like he spends a lot of time in the gym, whining about his diet, talking about how much muscle he's gained, etc. It seems that they would be judgmental about women who aren't that obsessed about their bodies. Snuggling on the couch watching a movie or talking about anything/everything is a much more fun way to spend an evening.

When I was young I stayed away from buff guys due to my sister's experience with a buff abuser. It took some time to realize that you can't tell what a person is like just by appearance and that most guys aren't abusers. Still a bit cautious but nothing like before.

I feel like GENERALLY women are turned off by a man obsessed with his looks, but that is less likely to be the case when men look at women, because men are told women need to look a certain way.