anyone who said YTA or ESH needs a reality check themselves. or a smack in the mouth.

NTA. Kid needs discipline and a reality check. That's what this is. At least he's noticed this early and trying to educate her before it's too late and she becomes a monster of a human being that thinks poor people are animals. She may hate this now, but hopefully this humbles her and she will thank him in the future.

Seriously? You HAVE to ask, "AITA?" NOT. IN. THE. SLIGHTEST way/ shape/ or form!!! THIS!!! This is GREAT parenting at it's FINESET!!!

Obviously NTA, but honestly, it does sound like a s**t situation to me for the father no matter what he does. Because that daughter will nonetheless not forgive him or consider herself the villain, and will possibly cut contact as soon as she eventually moves out for what he's done.

Good guy Dad...

Amazing. When I grew up it was the complete opposite. The poor kids would bully the middle-class kids. They resented us because our parents' taxes paid for all the s**t they got for free.

You sound like an awesome parent whose trying to raise a kid ( who sounds dreadful btw) who does not behave like an entitled c**t that thinks everyone is beneath her. Mom is WRONG and was probably the same way as a kid, that's why she can't see it. I see no problem taking away everything from this horrible mean ingrate that she did not earn. If there were more parents like you, I would not hate children so much.

OP handled the bullying situation exactly the right way. His stepdaughter needed a reality check, and the only way that would have been accomplished is by removing/replacing her perks. How dare she refer to another student as "trailer trash"! By humbling her, OP showed her that comfortable lifestyles can change in a heartbeat. Job loss, illness can take you from middle to low-income in a short period of time. If the stepdaughter carries that "better-than-thou" attitude into adulthood, she'll have a lot of doors closed to her. It's quite refreshing to see a (step)parent responsibly handle a problem child, instead of going into denial. High five, Dad, and don't let the drop in grades deter you from teaching her a lesson. As for the mother, get YOURSELF a reality check: your daughter needs to learn empathy for others. You have a 12-year-old daughter who's watching everything her sister does; do you REALLY want her emulating her sister's narcissistic tendencies?

I would say he's the ahole, but not because of the punishments. He said "we didn't raise her to be like that", when everything about his description of her life indicates that yeah, they did. They gave her a credit card, a car, a job, a $3000 computer, a $1000 phone, and probably a lot more. Her mom is more concerned with her social standing than her grades and her treatment of other people. Sounds to me like these people are reaping what they sowed. They raised a spoiled, entitled brat and now they have to fix her before it's too late.

This is too harsh imo especially because it's clear she behaved that way because they spoiled her too much beforehand. They went from one extreme to the other.

Seems harsh, but it's a lesson the daughter needs to learn. As for "social status" - it's better she find friends that like her for her, rather than for her money, so OP is doing his kid a favour and teaching her a valuable life lesson that she'll be thankful for in the future, even if teenage stroppiness "wins out" for now.

👏👏👏

I don't disagree with the parents punishing the kid. But I do think these sort of punishments should be designed as temporary, until the kid has learned the lesson deal. eg: I wouldn't sell the laptop or car. They'd just be confiscated and I'd aim to move them to a friend/relative for storage. Let her think they're gone, but return them once she's learned that her actions have consequences. Same with the job really. And of course I'd want to get a better understanding of the bullying to start with. Sounds bad that she considered the other kid trailer trash. But at the same time, was the other kid an a*****e who was picking fights or being well, as a*****e themselves? ie: Did the other kid provoke the bullying in some way or were they minding their own business and it was completely undeserved. Note: I'm not saying that justifies her bullying, but it might change the degree of punishment (like a self defense clause).

Check her friends. They may be encouraging her in the hatred.

As a parent, I agree and disagree with OP. 1. He is NOT middle class. I'm middle class, best I could do for my kids was put a $1,000 down payment on their vehicles and co-sign their car loans. (teaching them about finances and responsibility). 2. Taking away her luxury items? Good. Selling them? BAD - that was where I went "wtaf?" He SHOULD have given her the opportunity to "earn" back her items and privileges (internet throttled? seriously?) Yes, she bullied someone, but now step dad is bullying her - over and above what her actual parent agrees with.

Folks, Are you aware that billing is NOW a jail sentence? ! No time limit. I sent quite a few to such a place and also sued them..I won my cases. How do think those spoiled people seriously regret what they done after losing everything they had over something so stupid that could have been prevented by a parent stopping it when they were younger. Step Dad keep it up. Mom stand by him.

I agree with the punishment up to the point of selling her car and other items. I would have forbid her from using them but, if she could prove that she has changed, I would give her access to them again on a limited basis at first.

I grew up in semi-poverty and was bullied for wearing the "wrong" clothes", or getting the "wrong haircut" etc. I know what it's like. The dad did the exact thing that needed to be done. I wish the parents of my bullies had stepped up but "NO". They were too high up on the food scale to punish their little darlings. It's ok. Now , 50 years later, some of them never left their village, work for minimum wage and I've paid off my condo. What goes around comes around

As someone who has CPTSD from bullying... good on those parents. Child bullies are more likely to become abusive adults, abusing partners or children or coworkers or all of the above. Bullying has lifelong effects for survivors; severe bullying during childhood literally causes physical brain damage. Bullying survivors often have a more difficult time finishing their education, getting good jobs, having healthy relationships, etc. They're at higher risk for mental illness, suicide, and early death. I think the parents also need to put her in therapy to learn empathy and compassion and the effects her actions have on others.

Better would be to have a plan to allow her to recover privileges on a schedule, based on improved behavior. NB: to get into any good university, etc, a 4.0 gpa is baseline anymore, if university is her goal.

YTA