“AITA For Cancelling My Daughter’s Therapy Because She Has Bad Grades?”
Interview With Expert
Being a teen is hard. You’re dealing with the stress of trying to find your place in the world, the changes that puberty brings, the frustrations of feeling like an adult but being treated like a kid and the pressure to excel in school. It’s normal for all teens to be moody at times, but when someone is actually struggling with mental health issues, it’s important to do everything possible to support them.
However, one parent decided that their daughter doesn’t deserve to go to therapy anymore, at least not until her grades start showing improvement. Below, you’ll find the full story that one father posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as a conversation with clinician Adnan Kastrat, LAC, from Modern Therapy.
After his teen daughter was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, this father started sending her to therapy
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
But when he didn’t see any improvement on her report card, the dad decided the sessions were no longer worth it
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
Later, the father shared that he had a change of heart after reading the responses his post received
Image credits: aita0193
Over a fifth of teens struggle with anxiety
Image credits: Phi Long/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When teens start to act out of character, it’s easy for parents to brush it off as regular teenage moodiness or hormones causing them to not seem like themselves. But mental health struggles are something that should always be taken seriously, regardless of how young a person is.
According to a 2022 survey on teen health, over one fifth of adolescents between the ages of 12 and 17 report having experienced anxiety in the last two weeks. And 17% of these teens say they’ve experienced symptoms of depression. But not all adolescents experience these struggles equally.
Teen girls are over twice as likely to report having anxiety and depression than boys their age, and teens in the LGBT+ community are even more likely, with 43% reporting feelings of anxiety and 37% reporting symptoms of depression. And unfortunately, not everyone is in a position where they have access to therapy.
A fifth of teens said they weren’t going to therapy because of the cost, fear about what others would think and/or because they didn’t know who to ask for help. But it’s important that these mental health issues are not overlooked.
“Depression and anxiety have different impacts on both mental and physical health that can negatively affect all aspects of a kid/teen’s daily life”
To learn more about this topic, we reached out to Licensed Associate Counselor Adnan Kastrat from Modern Therapy. Adnan was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss why it’s important to get support for kids and teens struggling with mental health issues.
“Depression and anxiety have different impacts on both mental and physical health that can negatively affect all aspects of a kid/teen’s daily life. As a result, kids/teens may respond to these stressors in different ways such as isolating themselves or doing poorly in school,” Adnan noted. “Therapy would provide a safe, judgment-free environment, to help the kid/teen feel supported and obtain tools to manage their symptoms of depression and anxiety.”
“Additionally, kids/teens will be able to better understand what they are experiencing and how to regulate intense feelings,” the counselor continued. “The more tools and education they receive, the better equipped they will be in facing difficult situations.”
Adnan also says that it’s never too late to begin therapy. “Even the elderly need a helping hand here and there. However, the earlier issues can be addressed the better the likelihood of these issues not intensifying into more severe mental health problems.”
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
“Therapy may not be the sole solution to academic difficulties; however, it can be a stepping stone in identifying the root of the problem”
We were also curious about the impact that mental health issues might have on a student’s academic performance. “Both anxiety and depression have demonstrated time and time again certain common behaviors and symptoms that can impact multiple areas of someone’s life, including academics,” Adnan shared.
“Some behaviors and symptoms can include difficulty concentrating, sleeping, eating, and withdrawing from others. These are but a few things that are required for academic success that we see are negatively impacted by anxiety and depression,” he continued. “Through therapy, the tools students receive will help alleviate these symptoms as well as change specific behaviors to more helpful/positive ones.”
“In addition, as the student begins to see positive change and learns to identify moments of success, other aspects of themselves, such as self-esteem and confidence, will be sure to follow,” the expert noted. “This will motivate students to further pursue these positive outcomes. Therapy may not be the sole solution to academic difficulties. However, it can be a stepping stone in identifying the root of the problem and creating an action plan.”
Adnan also shared some advice for the parents in this story. “Nobody wishes to see their child fail in any way. We all want to see our kids succeed and live a good life. However, everybody faces challenges. Some are more difficult than others. Nonetheless, it should not be something that is ignored,” he told Bored Panda.
“Punishing our children for not reaching a goal or expectation will typically create resentment, low self-esteem, poor confidence and a lack of motivation”
Image credits: Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)
“We should not punish ourselves or others for someone’s struggles. In this case, therapy was providing relief to multiple areas of their daughter’s life,” Adnan continued. “However, there appeared to be a hyperfocus on the one area that has not been solved yet and has prematurely been deemed unsalvageable.”
“These would be opportunities to work together with the therapist to identify underlying issues and what ways the parents can assist in improving their daughter’s grades. It is unrealistic to expect all challenges to be resolved at the same time or for everything to be fixed right away,” the expert noted. “Therapy is a guided journey, and it is not in the child’s best interest to remove sources of guidance.”
Finally, Adnan pointed out that mental health is a specific and personal challenge that many children, adults and elderly people face. “It impacts us in different ways and we handle it the best we can. As parents, the best we can do is give as much support and resources for our children to succeed,” he shared.
“However scary or intimidating a challenge might be, it is best tackled together. Punishing our children for not reaching a goal or expectation will typically create resentment, low self-esteem, poor confidence and a lack of motivation,” the expert added. “It is important to celebrate the little victories and learn from our defeats. Parents will always be a child’s cornerstone for moving forward.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’d like to read another article from Bored Panda discussing similar themes, look no further than right here!
Readers were quick to give the father a reality check and call him out for ending his daughter’s therapy
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I am glad he had a change of heart after the comment section set him straight. I hope in the future he'll listen more to his wife since she seems to be the rational one in their partnership. Other then that, mostly everything to this has been said by other commentors allready.
This story is a really good example how can a social media platform help.
I find it so hard to understand how - in an age of instant information - the OP didn't think to research his daughter's conditions, talk to actual professionals and educate himself. It's like he's just happy to make himself look like an idiot. An abusive controlling one at that. Glad she's getting the help she needs.
People find themselves in echo chambers these days, algorithms amplify this because it drives engagement, those same people tend to "research" by looking for confirmation, so that's what they find, they don't find actual facts, truth, or anything related to actual research at all.
Load More Replies... I am glad he had a change of heart after the comment section set him straight. I hope in the future he'll listen more to his wife since she seems to be the rational one in their partnership. Other then that, mostly everything to this has been said by other commentors allready.
This story is a really good example how can a social media platform help.
I find it so hard to understand how - in an age of instant information - the OP didn't think to research his daughter's conditions, talk to actual professionals and educate himself. It's like he's just happy to make himself look like an idiot. An abusive controlling one at that. Glad she's getting the help she needs.
People find themselves in echo chambers these days, algorithms amplify this because it drives engagement, those same people tend to "research" by looking for confirmation, so that's what they find, they don't find actual facts, truth, or anything related to actual research at all.
Load More Replies...
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