Dad Who Didn’t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them” Of This Experience

Anything, even the smallest thing, can spark a family drama. But as we know very well, weddings and baby arrivals are especially predisposed to family feuds. One such conflict happened to a new dad who shared the story on this r/AITA post.

According to the post, the author’s wife gave birth to their son in November 2019. “She had a very complicated pregnancy and ended up needing an emergency c-section which we were aware could happen,” he added. His wife also admitted that she’d hate the thought she would be the last to hold their son.

Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Apparently, the author’s mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that’s where the feud began.

New dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first

Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)

But family members accused him of robbing them of their time with their baby early on, so he took it to r/AITA to see if he was right or wrong

Dad Who Didn't Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them" Of This Experience

Image credits: PoppaLoves

And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation

Dad Who Didn't Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them" Of This Experience

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Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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What do you think ?

POST

Hans 3 years ago (edited)

The order of interest is very, very clear here, biologically, psychologically, and morally. 1 Baby and mother on a shared first place, 2. father, 3. everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people). The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile. The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever.

189points

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Perfectly said Hans.

44points

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Syd 3 years ago

THIS!!!!! WHOLEHEARTEDLY! The grandma and aunt's attitudes give off an impression that the baby was more of an accessory rather than a new member to the couple's immediate family. That couple was already a family unit, an inner circle with the aunt and grandma being a part of a larger family circle. Once that baby was born into the inner circle, everyone in that circle should have met the baby BEFORE anyone outside that circle did.

10points

Donna Leske 3 years ago

THIS. Thank you Hans.

3points

Steph Morgan 3 years ago

Absolutely spot on

3points

Otter 3 years ago

I was hoping to get an opinion on skin-to-skin contact that's better than mine. I know they're now pushing it for right after birth, is there any harm in waiting four days? Should the dad have been taking the baby to see the mother if possible, and putting it on her chest for the contact while she was (I presume) on a ventilator? Should he have been doing the skin-to-skin contact himself? Really, is there any harm in waiting that long?

3points

J Charby 3 years ago

Absolutely so well said!!!!

2points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Exactly. You have a way of phrasing things just right Hans.

1point

Tereza Cervenakova 3 years ago

Exactly... I had two c-sections And both times not only my husband was there with me during the surgery, but umediatelly after that He had skin-on-skin bonding with both of our sons, because i couldn't.... It helped him create really strong bond with our kids...

0points

Tobin Kern 3 years ago

I agree, but in shorter words... I would have told my mother to piss off and get the f**k over it if she wanted to hold my child in the future too.

0points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

Indeed you are right. the poor woman endured Hell to birth her son. Those moments belong to her.

0points

Mike Crow 3 years ago

When our first child was born my wife was having difficulty passing the afterbirth, so I stayed with her and the nurse gave him to my mother-in-law (who was with us in the delivery room for some reason) and she was told to take him to the nurses station to have him cleaned up. Instead she took him to the waiting room and showed him to the family. I wanted to do that and I am still pissed at her 12 years later.

107points

N G 3 years ago

I believe you, because I believe you've mentioned this before. Your monster-in-law did your child, you and HER OWN DAUGHTER a massive disservice because she wanted to show off HER new toy (because that's what your new baby was, I'm afraid - that's what all new babies are to people not directly involved in the actual creation of said child who suddenly think they have an entitlement)

52points

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blugeagua 3 years ago

I hope you told her off Mike. What she did was just wrong.

3points

Jacqueline Arana 3 years ago

This reminds me of when I had my child, I did not share on facebook to family and friends my child first and this bothered me. None of the people who shared photos of him asked me they just assumed it was fine. People need to learn to ask permission when it comes to other people's children regardless of how close they are.

1point

Silre 3 years ago

I can absolutely see my MIL having done that if my husband and I had been able to have children. I can also see my mother and aunt going full NURSE and not letting her.

0points

Kim Lorton 3 years ago

I would be too! And i would've had some big words for her and when I got done... she would be banned from seeing the baby until they were three months old! Her own dtr??!! What a selfish old b*tch!!! And as her dtr, i would've backed up my hubby for banning her for three months from seeing the baby!!

0points

Val 3 years ago

As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA. It was the first baby of our generation. Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born. I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done. It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad.

50points

elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own.

43points

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anarkzie 3 years ago

Hey Val you're also not the asshole, you made an honest mistake and realising it later felt bad about it.

20points

L.M. Frazer 3 years ago

You were enthusiastic for your family....nobody should hold that against you. And, yeah, the fact you felt regretful after learning she hadn't seen him yet (something you hadn't known) means you are a much more decent and considerate person than the people described in this story. That baby is lucky to have a cool relative like you 👏

2points

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POST

Hans 3 years ago (edited)

189points

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Perfectly said Hans.

44points

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Syd 3 years ago

10points

Donna Leske 3 years ago

THIS. Thank you Hans.

3points

Steph Morgan 3 years ago

Absolutely spot on

3points

Otter 3 years ago

3points

J Charby 3 years ago

Absolutely so well said!!!!

2points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Exactly. You have a way of phrasing things just right Hans.

1point

Tereza Cervenakova 3 years ago

0points

Tobin Kern 3 years ago

I agree, but in shorter words... I would have told my mother to piss off and get the f**k over it if she wanted to hold my child in the future too.

0points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

Indeed you are right. the poor woman endured Hell to birth her son. Those moments belong to her.

0points

Mike Crow 3 years ago

107points

N G 3 years ago

52points

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blugeagua 3 years ago

I hope you told her off Mike. What she did was just wrong.

3points

Jacqueline Arana 3 years ago

1point

Silre 3 years ago

I can absolutely see my MIL having done that if my husband and I had been able to have children. I can also see my mother and aunt going full NURSE and not letting her.

0points

Kim Lorton 3 years ago

0points

Val 3 years ago

50points

elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own.

43points

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anarkzie 3 years ago

Hey Val you're also not the asshole, you made an honest mistake and realising it later felt bad about it.

20points

L.M. Frazer 3 years ago

2points

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Dad Who Didn’t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them” Of This Experience

New dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first

But family members accused him of robbing them of their time with their baby early on, so he took it to r/AITA to see if he was right or wrong

And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation

Games

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite

Dad Who Didn’t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them” Of This Experience

Share iconNew dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first

But family members accused him of robbing them of their time with their baby early on, so he took it to r/AITA to see if he was right or wrong

And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation

Games

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite

New dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first