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Dad Who Didn’t Let Anyone Hold His Baby Until His Wife Did It First Is Accused By Family Of “Robbing Them” Of This Experience
Anything, even the smallest thing, can spark a family drama. But as we know very well, weddings and baby arrivals are especially predisposed to family feuds. One such conflict happened to a new dad who shared the story on this r/AITA post.
According to the post, the author’s wife gave birth to their son in November 2019. “She had a very complicated pregnancy and ended up needing an emergency c-section which we were aware could happen,” he added. His wife also admitted that she’d hate the thought she would be the last to hold their son.
Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Apparently, the author’s mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that’s where the feud began.
RELATED:
New dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first
Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)
But family members accused him of robbing them of their time with their baby early on, so he took it to r/AITA to see if he was right or wrong
Image credits: PoppaLoves
And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation
What do you think ?
Hans 4 years ago (edited)
The order of interest is very, very clear here, biologically, psychologically, and morally. 1 Baby and mother on a shared first place, 2. father, 3. everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people). The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile. The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever.
Mike Crow 4 years ago
When our first child was born my wife was having difficulty passing the afterbirth, so I stayed with her and the nurse gave him to my mother-in-law (who was with us in the delivery room for some reason) and she was told to take him to the nurses station to have him cleaned up. Instead she took him to the waiting room and showed him to the family. I wanted to do that and I am still pissed at her 12 years later.
N G 4 years ago
I believe you, because I believe you've mentioned this before. Your monster-in-law did your child, you and HER OWN DAUGHTER a massive disservice because she wanted to show off HER new toy (because that's what your new baby was, I'm afraid - that's what all new babies are to people not directly involved in the actual creation of said child who suddenly think they have an entitlement)
Load More Replies...
Val 4 years ago
As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA. It was the first baby of our generation. Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born. I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done. It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad.
elStiJneriNO 4 years ago
the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own.
Load More Replies...
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
WHY WAS HIS MUM AND SISTER'S PRIORITY HOLDING A BABY??? THE MOTHER IT UNCONSCIOUS! WERE THEY NOT UPSET ABOUT THAT AT ALL???
Andrew Bridge 4 years ago
Wtf are these people smoking? My son was born normally and no one saw him until he got home 2 days later and that was his own siblings
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago (edited)
After 28 hours of labor, I had an emergency C-section. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist missed the epidural and went too deep, and I was paralyzed from the neck down and struggling to breathe. I got one look at my son after he was pulled from me and on his way to the NICU, and then they sewed me up and stuck me in a nurse's office to let the anesthesia wear off. I listened to my son crying in the NICU for at least two hours before I could move my arms enough to hold him. Everyone saw and held him before me, but that kid didn't stop screaming until he got back to me and got a boob in the face, then he was immediately asleep.
Donna Leske 4 years ago
ELT, I have tears in my eyes for you, sounds like a rough trip (and perhaps staff negligence?).
Load More Replies...
I wish I could live in the ocean 4 years ago
Holding a baby that is not yours is a privilege, not a right. Well done dad! (Although I hope he was excluded from this rule and did hold his son?)
elStiJneriNO 4 years ago
If covid had one good effect, it was making those kind of issues go away. No visitation rules in the hospital are good rules for newborns. 4 days of bliss!
AlmightyOne 4 years ago
NTA! As a C-section kid, I vouch for the mom and dad here. My mom was awake when they did the C-section to get me (they just used stuff to numb her lower half), so she got to hold me first, but there are lots of moms who don't get to do that! Kudos to dad for sticking to his statement and considering his wife!
Hans 4 years ago (edited)
The order of interest is very, very clear here, biologically, psychologically, and morally. 1 Baby and mother on a shared first place, 2. father, 3. everyone else with a massive gap. Imagining how traumatic this experience must have been for the mother, her wish is more than understandable and not aknowledging this is unempathic. The baby, however, needs food, warmth, and safety (yet definitely not "interaction" with diverse people). The skin-to-skin contact can be provided by the father to cater for the latter two; good hospitals these days even encourage the father to get off his shirt and cuddle the newborn while the mother recovers from a just performed c-section. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not vile. The broader family cannot be robbed of moments with the baby for they are not entitled to it; until the new person can decide for him or herself, any moment with him or her is a gift with no entitlement to it whatsoever.
Mike Crow 4 years ago
When our first child was born my wife was having difficulty passing the afterbirth, so I stayed with her and the nurse gave him to my mother-in-law (who was with us in the delivery room for some reason) and she was told to take him to the nurses station to have him cleaned up. Instead she took him to the waiting room and showed him to the family. I wanted to do that and I am still pissed at her 12 years later.
N G 4 years ago
I believe you, because I believe you've mentioned this before. Your monster-in-law did your child, you and HER OWN DAUGHTER a massive disservice because she wanted to show off HER new toy (because that's what your new baby was, I'm afraid - that's what all new babies are to people not directly involved in the actual creation of said child who suddenly think they have an entitlement)
Load More Replies... Val 4 years ago
As someone who unintentionally saw my brother's baby before his wife who was recovering from a C-section, you're NTA. It was the first baby of our generation. Being enthusiastic but very, very naive and unconsiderate, I was already on my way to the hospital before my brother sent me a text that his baby girl was born. I didn't know anything about births, so I entered their room finding my brother alone with the baby. Still not aware of what I've done. It was only afterwards that I realized that I saw the baby before my sister-in-law and felt really bad.
elStiJneriNO 4 years ago
the fact you felt bad for it should count for something. If my brother ever gets a kid i'll be enthusiastic almost as if it was my own.
Load More Replies... Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
WHY WAS HIS MUM AND SISTER'S PRIORITY HOLDING A BABY??? THE MOTHER IT UNCONSCIOUS! WERE THEY NOT UPSET ABOUT THAT AT ALL???
Andrew Bridge 4 years ago
Wtf are these people smoking? My son was born normally and no one saw him until he got home 2 days later and that was his own siblings
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago (edited)
After 28 hours of labor, I had an emergency C-section. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist missed the epidural and went too deep, and I was paralyzed from the neck down and struggling to breathe. I got one look at my son after he was pulled from me and on his way to the NICU, and then they sewed me up and stuck me in a nurse's office to let the anesthesia wear off. I listened to my son crying in the NICU for at least two hours before I could move my arms enough to hold him. Everyone saw and held him before me, but that kid didn't stop screaming until he got back to me and got a boob in the face, then he was immediately asleep.
Donna Leske 4 years ago
ELT, I have tears in my eyes for you, sounds like a rough trip (and perhaps staff negligence?).
Load More Replies... I wish I could live in the ocean 4 years ago
Holding a baby that is not yours is a privilege, not a right. Well done dad! (Although I hope he was excluded from this rule and did hold his son?)
elStiJneriNO 4 years ago
If covid had one good effect, it was making those kind of issues go away. No visitation rules in the hospital are good rules for newborns. 4 days of bliss!
AlmightyOne 4 years ago
NTA! As a C-section kid, I vouch for the mom and dad here. My mom was awake when they did the C-section to get me (they just used stuff to numb her lower half), so she got to hold me first, but there are lots of moms who don't get to do that! Kudos to dad for sticking to his statement and considering his wife!
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