Holiday cheer can come from many things: enjoying twinkling lights, volunteering at a local food bank, and of course, spending time with loved ones. Whether you only get to visit relatives once a year or you live 10 minutes down the road from your parents, the opportunity to cozy up with family to work on a puzzle, play a board game or swap stories is something many of us look forward to as December approaches.

But who gets to decide how exactly family time should be spent on Christmas? Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on Reddit, detailing how one woman’s mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to have her working during their family gathering.

Christmas dinner is all about gathering with loved ones and sharing a meal together

Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)

So this woman was quick to shut down her in-laws’ request that she serve them all during their holiday celebration

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

Image credits: TravelnPookie

Family drama can add even more tension to the already stressful holiday season

The holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year, but it can also be an incredibly stressful time. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, 41% of Americans say that their stress levels increase during this time of year, and 43% admitted that the stress of the holidays can interfere with their ability to enjoy them. Running around crowded malls buying presents, trying to finance all of the expenses that come with holidays, squeezing in time to see every relative and cooking up a storm for visitors is a lot for anyone to have on their plate. 

And unfortunately, family conflicts don’t take any days off, not even Christmas. 22% of Americans report that their holiday stress comes from experiencing or anticipating family conflicts, and it appears that in-laws are often involved in family drama. If your partner’s parents make you feel guilty for trying to balance time with your own parents, or they have a hard time accepting that family traditions may change slightly over time, it can make for a tense celebration for everyone.

Many struggle with dealing with difficult in-laws during the holidays

When it comes to navigating holidays with difficult in-laws, Next Avenue recommends making sure that you manage your expectations. Understand that you might not be best friends with your partner’s parents, but you can hopefully find a way to be amicable. If your in-laws are controlling, including them in the holiday planning may also help them feel like the occasion was a team effort, rather than something they’ve just had to agree with or show up to.

Try to see where your in-laws are coming from, even if you disagree with them. Next Avenue explains that they may have a hard time accepting that they’re not the most important people in their child’s life anymore, and they might be scared of this loss of control. If they take their anxiety out on you, it’s likely not personal, just something they need to work through.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with challenging in-laws. You don’t have to share personal details about yourself or your life if you don’t feel comfortable, and be sure to ask for your partner’s help as well. If their parents are prying or making snide comments, your partner should be quick to have your back and request that they respect your boundaries.

It’s important to prioritize your own health, even while navigating family conflicts

We also have to remember to take care of ourselves, even if our in-laws expect us to cater to them. Psychologist Alicia H. Clark told HuffPost that one of the main reasons we often lose patience for guests is because we feel obligated to entertain them constantly.

“As much as it may feel like you have no time to take care of yourself, there is nothing smarter than this when it comes to managing stress and personal space invasions,” Clark says. “Keep up your fitness and health routines, take a longer shower, go to bed early, take time in the day to sit for a while and read. Pay attention to what your body needs and find ways to make your needs more of a priority.”

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was right to stand up to her in-laws and refuse to serve them Christmas dinner? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing drama with in-laws during the holidays, we recommend this piece next!

Later, the woman responded to several readers and provided more details on the situation

Many assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong, adding advice and calling out her in-laws for their inappropriate request

Later, the woman came back with updates on the situation after reading comments and acting on the advice she was given

Image credits:Sasha Stories (not the actual photo)

Image credits: TravelnPookie

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