In high school, when we had our first psychology class, the teacher suggested that if anyone wanted, they could introduce themselves with a fictitious name. Well, I couldn’t miss this opportunity and, as I remember now, I called myself Fabrizio… just don’t remember why. This was my first and last experience of using fake names, but the user u/solecism18, the author of the story that we are about to tell you, is much more experienced in this matter.

However, the author’s completely harmless quirk – at least from his own point of view – recently backfired with the guy’s new girlfriend. So the author thought of turning to folks online to find out whether he was actually being weird and unreasonable over this. Oh yes, and probably ridiculous as well.

The author of the post, as he himself claims, has one little harmless quirk – he doesn’t like to give his real name at Starbucks

Image credits: Conor Luddy (not the actual photo)

So the guy usually introduces himself as Tom, though his real name isn’t uncommon or strange-sounding

Image credits: u/solecism18

Recently the author went to Starbucks with his new girlfriend – and once more gave the barista his fake name

Image credits: Arren Mills (not the actual photo)

Image credits: socialism18

However, the girl unexpectedly got upset, dubbing the author ‘a pathological liar’ and accusing him of disrespect and distrust towards others

So, the Original Poster (OP) is 22 years old and doesn’t like one of Starbucks’ big gimmicks, which is when they put your name on the cup and then loudly call out your name to get you to pick up your order. No, it’s cool, and some people like it (like me, for instance) – but the author is definitely against the whole coffee shop hearing his name.

It’s not that he had some strange, rare or funny name – no, quite a common one. The guy just has this little harmless quirk, as he calls it. So, the OP doesn’t like that when the barista loudly calls his name to the whole coffee shop, then all the customers will now know his name, but on the contrary, he loves coffee. He solves this dilemma very simply – he gives the barista a fake name.

Usually the original poster calls himself Tom – and he has no problem with the sound of this name. Okay, let all the other visitors sincerely think he’s Tom, why not? But recently a problem arose with this. Moreover, there is a problem with the new original poster’s girlfriend.

The girl is a year younger than the author, and when they arrived at Starbucks, he habitually called himself Tom, and then went to pick up his coffee. When he returned, he saw the girl’s surprised face, and she asked if he had taken someone else’s drink. So the guy had to explain everything – and here the false Tom unexpectedly had to take the heat, because the girlfriend suddenly declared that this habit seemed strange to her.

Word for word – and a real drama broke out, with the girl claiming that the OP is nothing less than a pathological liar, and thereby expresses disrespect and mistrust towards both Starbucks employees and other customers. The dude himself doesn’t see anything offensive in this, and he’s not at all sure that other clients always introduce themselves by their real names.

Image credits: Asael Peña (not the actual photo)

Well, let’s say right away that the original poster is far from alone in his reluctance to give his real name at Starbucks, although traditionally it’s believed that this creates a more trusting atmosphere between the barista and the customer. Well like it’s a small, cozy cafe in a random town, where everyone knows everyone, and generation after generation goes to their favorite establishments.

In addition, Dale Carnegie’s sixth principle is: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” This doesn’t work for everyone, of course, but one of the secrets of Starbucks’ success lies precisely in the skillful use of various psychological tricks to attract and retain customers.

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However, people are not always happy to see their name on a cardboard cup – especially knowing that in around half an hour at most this cup with the name on it will end up in the nearest trash bin. And, of course, from the various errors in spelling the names of visitors, you can create an entire encyclopedia.

“Some customers might be irritated, but from a brain function standpoint the experience might be more memorable,” Roger Dooley, the author of friction & Brainfluence, writes in his Forbes column. “There’s evidence that when one’s brain is expecting one thing and is delivered another, attention and interest spike.”

By the way, most commenters also didn’t get why the original poster’s girlfriend flipped out at him over such a trifle. Moreover, some former Starbucks employees admit in the comments that visitors often introduce themselves with fake names – otherwise we must admit that Batman is an incredibly common name among contemporary Americans.

“I personally think it’s harmless. Your reasoning is a bit odd, but you aren’t hurting anyone,” one of the commenters seems to express the general opinion. In other words, if the author of this post doesn’t want to reveal his real name, he may well continue to do so. Or maybe go to work at the CIA, because Starbucks in Langley is the only one in the country where, for obvious reasons, no one asks the real names of the customers…

By the way, if you are wondering how that story of mine with the name Fabrizio ended many years ago – literally a couple of minutes later I realized how stupid I looked when classmates who have known me for years now had to call me differently – and muttered something like, “Damn it, contact me for my real name!” And have you ever had similar cases, at Starbucks or somewhere else?

Turns out, many people also give fake names at Starbucks, and in fact no one considers the author’s ‘quirk’ to be harmful

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Image credits: S.Ratanak (not the actual photo)

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