“After 21 Years, My Wife Still Can’t Get Her Head Around”: 35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe

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I think what this poster is trying to communicate (or at least how I -- another dude -- feel about it) is that while we're on this list sharing things about guys, it's a chance to consider the burden that most men carry due to the shittiness of a few men. It's something that women simply don't have to deal with, and normally when this is brought up, it's in the context of how vigilant women have to be. Men have to be vigilant, too, but it's a less personally beneficial vigilance. It's a lot of effort.

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If you do, thank you in return. But do you, though? Each of you who read this, do you? Or do you leave the quotes and "so-called" part out when you talk about so-called "nice guys" on the internet? Do you up-vote people who do? Do you respect that some men actually do want a marriage partner who is their best friend and that "someone exactly like you, but not you, of course" can be hurtful and confusing? I eventually met a woman who (God bless her) straight up asked me, "are you AIMING for the friend zone, because I'm looking for a husband?" but I have plenty of friends who are lonely, nice guys. And yes, also one or two who aren't always quite as nice as they used to be because they've become old and occasionally a bit embittered or even a tad misogynist... and my heart bleeds for even those.

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Why would you think this is a good thing? To be accepted by women he has to conform to their desires. The other side of that coin is a woman who has to play dumb and fetch beer to make a man comfortable.

It's because of the human negativity bias, that's the reason bad things make the news and good things don't

I think the difference here is the ability to separate sexual desire and mental/emotional interest. A lot (not necessarily most) guys can maintain a lustful desire without personal interest. Most women need some level of personal interest to have a sexual desire. The end result is being able to differentiate physical attraction from sexual desire. So many women can see that a person is attractive with absolutely no interest in them.

I like the example because I knew some guys that find momoa really hot but are 100% strait and all for female attributes but this (and some other men) just ate really good looking and I like the openness towards beauty from all genders and to all genders

Exactly. I’m straight, but will definitely spend a few seconds looking at an attractive woman. It’s mostly just because I wish I was as pretty as her.

THANK you. Also Jason Momoa IS very attractive...

As an asexual one of the things we often have trouble explaining to other people is that we can experience aesthetic appreciation of someone without any sexual attraction. I have no sexual attraction towards anyone, but there are plenty of guys who if i was a billionaire I would happily pay to wander around wearing very little lol. I may not want to make a purchase but I'm happy to window shop.

Yes!!! I agree 100% with everything you just said. Same!

I would take it a step further and say it's even okay to *feel* attraction to someone else, as long as you're keeping your thoughts in check and being respectful to all parties and not pursuing anything. That feeling of attraction is 100% natural and out of your control, but you absolutely *can* control how you respond to that feeling.

GirlFriday

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Well said. Appreciation of physical beauty and sexual attraction are two very different things. Angela Basset is inarguably one of the most beautiful women on earth, and I am not attracted to her because I am straight.

Unless it's in an inappropriate way. I would never be associated with a man who oogled woman for any reason.

same for me as a gay man. I can tell if a woman is beautiful/attractive, but i don't want to sleep with them (well may be if in a survival situation where it's really cold, but that's it!)

It's not just being hurt when you open up, but being attacked for the very act of opening up, regardless of what you reveal. Men are hurt for the very fact that they are willing to open up, and not just by other men. Even among Gen-Zs there is no lack of women trashing their exes or even present SOs for showing any level of emotion.

and... you make the post about women. Thank you for proving the point.

The thread isn't called "35 Facts About Men Women Don’t Believe and also experience"

Like Max just said it is very different for men. I feel like this post is trying to explain men their feelings and what they go through. Then you have people on here saying this happens to women too. We understand that, but this post is about men right now. Just like if it was about women and a guy comes along and says not all men. There has to come a time when people realize that people do go through things differently and Just because we are focusing on one topic, doesn't mean we don't understand and care about another.

Definitely it is way better to learn to be distant and never, ever share

@Kimberly Alison - while it is true, it is also true that women will hold the grudge forever, and will continue reminding men about things that happened decades prior, while we forgive and move on

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And? That doesn't make you stronger it means you're too trusting. I am a female and I don't open up for this very reason, who I am and what I've been through is no body else's business but my own.

💯💯💯💯

From this dude's perspective, it really seems like women can't win. You get shamed and gaslit for showing emotions, but if you don't show emotions you're "frigid," uncaring, or just need to "smile more".

I agree. My parents raised both my brother and me to be open and capable of vulnerability. However, the pressure from social norms and traditional expectations made it extremely difficult to fit in, as vulnerability was often seen as weakness or even weirdness by the majority. It’s not easy to raise your kids against the outdated values that the school system still imposes on our boys.

I do this, my wife hate's it as I subconsciously go cross eyed 😅

Any person who has a chip on their shoulders wouldn't see it that way.

Agreed, someone who is focusing on body parts usually make their lechery obvious.

Yeah do this to parents they hate it😅

A lightweight running shoe might be ok for walking and flying, but I think some ducks would struggle to paddle effectively in the pond, even with water shoes.

AtMostAFabulist

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Thinking about the Roman Empire?

🤣 this feels like a very common thing in D&D and/or LARP at least in my experience. I know and call most of my friends by their nick however ask me their real names, in some cases I have to think really hard about it. And we are talking friends for more than 20 years. Nowadays their kids call me by my nick 🤣😇

I knew a guy from larp who it took me weeks to remember his real name. I could only refer to him by character names

I know my groups first names but not their last... It's weird now that I think about it. It's been like that for over 40 years though.

Ex-LARPer here. We've been playing (and that means hiking too) for years, but knew one another by nickname only. Only folks that became close friends learnt real names. Worked like that for both genders.