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30 Idealized Behaviors That Are Actually Toxic Traits, Pointed Out By TikTok Users
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was acting inappropriate, but no one besides you didn’t seem to notice? And you didn’t say anything just because you felt as if it would just make everything worse? This TikTok user @nayaaford asked her followers to share what is something that people find normal or even idealised when it is an example of toxic behaviour. In her video that has 49.6k likes and almost 3.5k comments, she pointed out that one of the examples of toxic behaviour is wanting a “significant other” who is unfriendly and even mean to other people just because this would mean that they are not going to cheat.
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Minimizing your own experience by saying “others have it way worse than you”. No. My feelings are valid regardless of how worse it could be.
There's a balance here, though; you need to feel like your feelings are valid, but you also need perspective. too much either way is bad.
It encouraged more people to share their examples of toxic behaviour in the comment section: overprotected partners who end up being control freaks, covering early abuse signs with “if someone is mean to you, it means they like you”, or blaming one’s bad behaviours or lack of responsibility to their zodiac sign. This endless list shows some ridiculous as well as serious problems that society faces but not really takes into consideration, instead they are simply normalised.
Telling little girls "if hes being mean to you it means he likes you"... no.. just no
Giving men glory for doing all the normal things women do..ie: cleaning, cooking, caring for their own kids, grocery shopping, etc
I realize I am in the minority here - But I actually hate that it is assumed that my wife does all of those things and gets all the glory, when I am the one who does them all.
The virality of the video and the number of comments of this TikTok video showed that people are actually aware of these toxic behaviours. But why then people get along with these situations? Most of them occur in the family and groups of friends. So not saying to your family member or a close friend that they are being unreasonable saves you from a fight that at first seems unnecessary because these people are close to you, so why would they want bad things for you?
People bragging that they are “brutally honest”. You can be honest without being Brutal.
most of the time, they just want to be brutal. the honesty is just coincidental
Don't come at me but moms who excessively drink wine to put up with their kids. you'll never convince me it's ok .
OCD. It's not trendy it's an illness.
Later all these saved fights turn little annoying behaviours into normalised habits: spitting something upsetting and then calling yourself “brutally honest”, being abusive towards your son’s/daughter’s partner, or spreading toxic positivity when clearly this is not the way to solve an occurring problem.
Do you also find some other things that people say or do to be toxic, or maybe you know an effective way on how to stop this kind of behaviour? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Giving money to homeless on YouTube. Toxic. You don't need other people to see you doing charitable things for it to be worth doing.
Toxic positivity... let people feel
people who are upbeat and positive all the time tend to irritate me
They use their zodiac sign to justify their actions and anger issues.
Who does that? I'm a Scorpio and I am so annoyed by all the negative prejudices. No, I am not a psychopath because I was born in November and I am certainly not going to make anyone believe that this is a thing.
my friend ditched me after i told her my zodiac and said im cold and emotionless and i have no soul because im an Aquarius. wtf? totally with you on this.
Load More Replies...The astrology zodiac we use today doesn't agree with the actual zodiac we see in the evening sky; celestial bodies have changed location from our point of view over time. The dates we use are wrong. Astrology is a nonsense, astrologers don't know the first thing about astronomy, as they should.
I'm an Aquarius, and consequently know that astrology is complete bollocks.
I only do this jokingly about things like why I'm so energetic and stuff... do people actually think being a certain zodiac is an excuse for being an a**hole?
A scorpio, often considered mean, is my best friend. A libra, "the nicest zodiac sign" hurt me most.
OMG me and my bestie are scorpios and my ex superrrr toxic friend is a LIBRA
Load More Replies...Or worse: "That's just how I am and if you can't handle that, that's your problem."
i had ex toxic friends who used zodiac signs to base ppl before they actually got to know them i am a Scorpio and just cuz i was born late October doesn't mean im a phycopath but i am good at keeping secrets
That's like saying: my name's Luna, so my being mean is therefore justified by that. like..no.
Reading the comments I'm so glad people don't take these seriously where I live. I don't even know - nor do I care about - my best friends' zodiac signs. Just like nobody cares about mine.
So, even if you believe in your zodiac signs, our zodiac signs are all fked up anyway. You're not whatever sign you think you are, because the calendar is at least 3 systems removed from the Attic (greek) calendar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Greek_calendars Zodiac signs are rubbish.
Exactly. I am Leo, that does not mean I am a proud little brat, I am actually so fudging shy I can’t even talk to anyone without feeling terrible about it!
honestly astrology makes no sense. i don't see why people even believe in it.
I was curious a few years back and decided to look into whether there was any correlation between star signs and propensity to kill (yes, I was incredibly bored) so I did a study of a fairly small sample of 300 serial killers / mass murderers, noting their star signs & number of victims.There wasn't too much in it, but, based on this dataset, I found the star signs least likely to kill were Taurus & Cancer, and most likely were Pisces, Leo & Scorpio. They also generally had more victims. I know this proves absolutely nothing - but I found it quite interesting. Another interesting point was that only 30 of the 300 were female.
i'm an aries but that does not justify my shanking people at night.
and they talk about it like their lives depend on reacting to what the column says that day - they are going to get a surprise, or they are going to get rained on . Either way, it is a significant eye-rolling reaction from me, and a major disappointment in their intelligence.
Adhd- just because you were late a few times and got distracted by your friends in class doesn't mean you have it. It's not fun and quirky.
YES don't just self-diagnose because you daydream. Tell me once a professional diagnoses you bitch
Being each other's “everything”. Nah y'all both need lives, family, and friends
"Push yourself till it hurts” when it comes to work, school, physical activities. I don't get paid enough to go over my physical limits.
Treating trauma/traumatic events as a competition.
When the current gfs hate their boyfriends ex's for no other reason but the fact they dated him.
Mother in law's being abusive towards their son mates it's normal in so many cultures and it's NEVER OKAY
Men not taking care of their children because they have a new woman in their life
The whole “respect your elders” where I agree, you should show respect but there is a lot of disrespectful elderly and people in general who don't
Overprotective partners - your partner should trust your judgment enough to let you stand up for yourself or ask for their help when it's needed
Hustle culture for me. Would rather have a good paying 9-5 than 3 entrepreneural "hustles"
People romanticise "being crazy" in relationships. "Yeah she's so crazy, she deleted every girl off my Facebook, she's so crazy I love her though
Friendzoning! setting boundaries in friendships should be okay. no one owes you getting into a relationship
Going through your partners phone
this is actually rlly disrespectful and disgusting. m8, if they let you use their phone its bc they trust you. don't exploit that.
The ‘psycho' girlfriend. There's a difference between boundaries and control/abuse
The concept of forgiveness nowadays is just "oh yeah they hurt you and u prob have trauma u will deal with forever but just forgive and move on" um no
Yeah like my ex friends beat me up ( I had bruises) I got horrible anxiety that they would stab me while I was outside bc my mum asked me to go to the store, after the weekend one of them ( didn't even apologise) asked if we could be friends again and I said no bc they beat me caused me pain and anxiety and made me scared to go outside
When people talk about beating there kids or scaring there kids
I don't know if this is toxic but people think that because two people have been together for years their relationship is perfect and healthy.
Any beauty standards
Couples that take pride in being each other's only friends and spend ALL their time together. It's good to be separate from your partner sometimes
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
Load More Replies...I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
Load More Replies...Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
Load More Replies...started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
Load More Replies...I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
Load More Replies...Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
Load More Replies...started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.