A good relationship with your ex-spouse is important if you share a child. It sets a positive example for the kid, showing that people can get along despite having a difficult history.

Today’s story covers how an amicable relationship between ex-spouses raised concern for the man’s current wife after he let his ex-wife into their home. The man was just being kind, but the wife took it personally and said he was “rude” and “tacky” as he did it without her permission.

More Info: Reddit

Maintaining a good relationship with your ex-spouse might not be easy, but necessary if you share offspring

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

A man took his recent dispute with  his spouse to the internet after she deemed him a jerk for letting his ex-wife into their apartment

Image credits: senivpetro (not the actual photo)

The man and his ex-wife have a kid together, and when she came to pick him up, he let her in as one of her other kids needed to use the restroom

Image credits: senivpetro (not the actual photo)

While the kid was in the bathroom, the ex-spouse made small talk with the man’s friends, as they were having a small get-together

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After his current wife and sister-in-law found out about this, they made it a big deal, saying that the man should’ve asked his wife’s permission and only then let the ex-spouse in

Recently a man approached Reddit’s r/AITA community to see if he was being a jerk to his wife, as she accused him of being one. For context, the man has an amicable relationship with his ex-spouse. They share a child, and they divorced on good terms. As usual, the ex-wife came to pick up their son, and he typically goes downstairs and meets the mom out front.

Last time, however, the mom arrived with her other 3 children and asked her ex-husband if she could come up. One of the kids needed to use the restroom, so the man agreed, as any decent person would, no matter if you have sour feelings for your ex or not.

At the same time, the man was hosting a small get-together with his friends, so when the ex-wife came up she made small talk with them. Soon after, she left with the children and the man thought nothing of it. It’s nothing important, right?

Well, not necessarily. The man’s current wife and her sister thought that it was a big deal for the wife to come up. As per their reasoning, the husband was rude and disrespected his wife by not asking her permission. According to them, the husband needed to ask his wife first if he could let the ex-spouse come up to their apartment.

The man was dumbfounded, as it was a simple act of kindness, there were no ulterior motives. Perplexed, he took his thoughts to Reddit to see if he was the jerk there, and netizens overwhelmingly disagreed. People on the internet agree that maintaining a good relationship with the mother of your child should be the standard. And the cliche of hating your ex-spouse shouldn’t be established any further.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Due to this common trope, though, an amicable relationship with your ex can raise eyebrows for some. People tend to expect you should, at the very least, dislike your previous spouse. It can cause friction and even jealousy in your new relationship if your new significant other thinks you’re being disrespectful by maintaining good terms with an ex-wife or husband. 

It’s certainly a reasonable basis for suspicion if the ex-partners do not have children from their relationship and are still very close to each other. However, the perspective should change once an offspring is in the picture, as it binds the parents for life for the well-being of their child.

Undoubtedly, it’s difficult for a kid to stomach the divorce of their parents in the first place. If the ex-spouses continue to go to war with each other once the separation is finalized, though, it can further inflict trauma on the child. That’s one of the reasons why a decent relationship between the parents is crucial.

Since children are not fully psychologically developed, demonizing one of the parents after the divorce is not uncommon. It helps the kid to cope with the immediate emotional shockwaves and provides structure, even though it’s not optimal long-term. Loving parents, who work together in the best interest of the child, can help defuse the turmoil.

What do you think about today’s story? Do you think the man was the jerk? Let us know in the comments below.

Netizens say that the man is not a jerk and that he should further discuss this with his wife

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