Privacy is probably one of the most used words on the internet. For obvious reasons—most everything online deals with your data and they have to be careful with it. Or else.

But it’s a concept that has been around for a long while and some people value or put emphasis on it more than others. In part because they just want to be left alone, but, if you’re like this guy, it’s because you’re hiding a past life. And then you pick the wrong person to hide it from. Wrong reasons, too.

More Info: Reddit

While it’s OK to keep some aspects of your life a secret, doing so in relationships can make things go south really fast

Image credits:  cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

A Redditor recently shared how their ex essentially lied about who they are, and once they broke up, some petty revenge ensued

Image credits: luzwort6776

The petty revenge that ensued came in the form of getting the ex’s actual identity plastered on posters for 10 different international movie festivals

Image credits: Martin Lopez (not the actual photo) 

Reddit user u/luzwort6776 is an aspiring filmmaker who has recently gotten out of an abusive relationship. OP was working on a film that featured her boyfriend’s band’s music. And when it came time to credit the band on IMDB and the posters, the boyfriend asked to be credited using his stage name.

Now, OP thought nothing of it as using stage names is quite normal in the industry. That is, until certain circumstances happened that made her question certain things. You see, OP split up with the boyfriend soon after it all. Besides all the emotions she had to process, she also had to contend with having to share an IMBD page together. But that’s when she remembered he landed another movie gig.

So, she investigated that, noticing how he used another alias for its credits. Hmm… OK, let’s google it to see what else is up. BAM. OP finds a mugshot. Turns out, the boyfriend has a history he never mentioned, meaning that he essentially lied about who he is (or at least hid it, but tomato, potato). There was more to it, but the bottom line was that it was petty revenge time.

Soon after, film festival time was fast approaching. And that meant OP had to get ready with redesigning the posters and whatnot. And while she was at it, she might as well update the credits down there where her ex is mentioned. To his actual identity. “Guess whose birth name has now been printed in the paper and digital programs of 10 international film festivals? Robert [effin] Garcia’s”.

Image credits: Henry & Co. (not the actual photo)

The r/pettyrevenge community loved the story. As of this article, it garnered 4,000 upvotes (with a 97% positivity rating) as well as a single Reddit award. A number of commenters came out to praise OP for her ingenious way of exacting revenge.

Others asked for some clarification on what’s what. Specifically, questioning if the guy really deserved it or whether there mayhaps was a good reason why he wasn’t completely open about his identity. OP pointed out that he was abusive throughout their time together. Besides, it was clear he was hiding his past. When you really think about it, no relationship can last if its based on hiding and lying.

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In the comment section, we also find out that OP actually pressed 3 different charges on the boyfriend and he got his comeuppance. One commenter asked for an update and OP replied “oh, he got found out for being domestically abusive big time. Lost his job and everything.”

People speculated that he might have been a sociopath or a malignant narcissist because of the behaviors OP mentioned. In any case, folks were happy it was now over. Happy enough to also take a jab by saying that OP did the right thing—after all, the poster had to be accurate, but it was a shame the mugshot was not included in the visuals.

Image credits: JÉSHOOTS (not the actual photo)

Bored Panda got in touch with OP for some context on the story and her experience.

“I wanted to share this story because I think it’s something that survivors of domestic abuse, including the younger version of myself, could benefit from,” elaborated OP. “The man from the Reddit post did a lot of damage to me. Long before I made this post, I tried to report what he did to law enforcement, but they did little to protect myself and other women he might meet, so I knew that my best option for exposing the truth of his abuse was the internet.”

OP continued, saying she first went to Instagram to share the dark details of her relationship, and to much success. The guy’s boss caught wind of it and fired him. And while the post wasn’t there for long as it was taken down, the internet and OP have achieved something that has helped others be aware of the situation with the mugshot being out there.

“I wanted to keep helping people, not just by exposing abusers with dark, traumatic stories, but by letting survivors know that they can find justice in many forms, even funny ones. So I came to Reddit and figured that the Petty Revenge subreddit was a pretty good place to do that. I felt it was important to share how, even though I’d been battered and humiliated, I learned to turn the joke around. I think that’s something survivors need: to feel like they can change the narrative. At the beginning of my healing journey, it would’ve meant a lot for me to hear from other people about how they learned to do that. I hope that the Reddit post can do the same for someone else.”

While there is no clear explanation as to why the guy was hiding his identity in the first place, OP, speculated that it was because he wasn’t happy with who he was and simply wanted to be someone else. Either that, or he just didn’t want to be found. Or both.

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OP also noted that she thinks the guy learned his lesson by now, the lesson being to be careful who you mess with. As for whether he’ll turn a page in being more honest in life—more likely than not he’ll continue hiding his identity if he can and if it suits him.

As you might have guessed at this point, that left OP with some scars that took a while to heal: “The relationship was violent and unpredictable—at times, deadly. The abuse gave me PTSD. The dishonesty ruined my trust with myself, and therefore made it difficult to trust and connect others. It took a lot to recover: 2+ years of therapy, seeking out supportive communities, going through the emotional roller coaster as safely as I could, even on the days it felt debilitating. What motivated me was not giving him the satisfaction of ruining my life. Like I mentioned above, knowing you can change the narrative is crucial, and I think that’s my key takeaway from all of this. He made me a victim, I made myself a survivor.”

Given this, there is some consolation to be found in the fact that OP managed to one-up the petty revenge by, first, pressing charges, and, second, outing him on Instagram. And that made matters much worse for him because the consequences were much higher this time around. “I’m pretty proud of myself for doing that to him,” concluded OP.

Image credits: I G (not the actual photo)

There’s an entire psychology behind hiding an identity. First and foremost, people hide it for a number of reasons, including (but not really limited to) not wanting to be rejected for who they are, not wanting to lose a benefit of work or the state, or some just want to keep things to themselves and value their privacy.

Yet for some, hiding their identity is not as black and white as they might be carrying a stigma, and only open up to a select few—those who they trust. Studies have shown that those with visible stigmas need time to prepare for opening up and being truthful. Others, with hidden stigmas like mental illness or criminal records, may choose to hide it all altogether so as to not face the consequences of being an outsider.

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Another study—one that worked with online identity—pointed out that 53% of interviewees in the study used anonymity for illegal or malicious activity. Nearly two thirds (61%) of interviewees also noted that anonymity was purely instrumental, on the one hand avoiding personalized ads and the like, but also getting less filtered content, which algorithms would otherwise cater to them, thus focusing rather than broadening the amount of information they could get.

Of course, there were reasons like anonymity in online communities and groups, e.g. if you’re a well-regarded professional and get found out as a fan fiction enthusiast, that might become complicated. This same approach also applied to buying and selling goods. Ultimately, it meant avoiding scrutiny from peers, especially if anonymity was employed when writing reviews for local businesses.

The list goes on, and you’re more than welcome to read through the study here. But for now, we’re getting back to reality and oh, the comment section requires (pretty please?) your attention. Share your thoughts, stories or whatever you feel like in the comments below, and be sure to leave an upvote on that article.

Folks applauded the move, with some calling the Redditor a hero and even getting some juicy news that the ex got what’s coming to them

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