Ngl it really rubs me the wrong way that people are saying the AP should have/adopt her own child if she wants a cheer buddy. No, she shouldn't, your kids are not extensions of you, they are not objects through which you try relive your glory days or otherwise vicariously enjoy life. The AP - and parents in general - needs to acknowledge and accept that children are human beings with their own thoughts and feeling on what they find enjoyable. OP's daughter said she didn't want to do cheer and no f*****g means NO. The same goes if it were the AP's biological or adopted child. Stop forcing kids to do things so you can relive your youth.

The side piece can't have kids so they should adopt if she wants them bad enough. She won't like it if any girls don't want anything to do with cheerleading but there's no guarantee she would get that if she was able to get pregnant.

Marying a man with children DOES NOT automatically give you the right to be a 'second mom' or tell them what to do. Especially not if you have an affair with this man and manipulate your way into the family.

She didn't attack the woman for being infertile. That's ridiculous. She defended her child against a woman who is trying to co-opt her relationship with said child and force the child to do things against her will. The mum has every right to defend her child against someone who is only using the child for self-gratification.

It's quite simple. OP is the mother of the children; the AP is not. Therefore, what OP says, goes. AP's dreams and hopes are her own: they have nothing to do with OP. By harassing OP, AP invited a sharp rebuttal herself. There are options for AP: adopt or rent-a-uterus.

Kids only spend 6 days a month with dad and stepmom. That is generally not enough time to develop a close relationship, especially since stepmom is demanding it and not letting it develop naturally. If stepmom got daughter into cheerleading, bio mom would be stuck with getting her there during all of the time that daughter was with her.

The elguapo redditor said it perfectly. There is adoption and other avenues but she cant be a mother... she is a conniving forceful person.

I guess the plan to snag an established man and get an instant family didn't work out so hot. Should've tried a widower.

So, OP is being unfair, depriving JEN of a relationship with OP''s children - or with this 1 particular child - OP's daughter would allow Jen to fulfill her life's dream: sharing 'cheer' with a daughter. Wow! Did/does she have lofty ambitions. The fact that both parents have to agree on decisions like this should have made the whole thing a non-starter since OP will never agree to force her daughter into an activity she doesn't want to do. OP is not taking this stance to punish Jen (yes, everything is about her) - she's making the best decision for her daughter. I would be afraid that when the children are with their dad & AP, they will continue to put pressure on the girl & it may be necessary to go back to court to put a stop to any kind of harassment. (Yes, the courts will entertain things like that that seem incredibly minor but are not in the best interests of the child. Ex, a well-known politician in this state - & he got some national notoriety for something disgusting & stupid he did - was divorced by his wife who then, after the custody agreement had been worked out, had to go back to court numerous times on specific issues. The one I remember best is that he was to be prohibited from flying remote-controlled airplanes AT the children.) OP doesn't badmouth Jen or their dad in front of the children - she wouldn't have to - they can see perfectly clearly what she's like when they have to spend that 6 days a month with their dad & can see what the dynamic is between the 2 of them: he backs up AP rather than thinking of his children.

This is simple. The girl doesn't want to do cheer, so she doesn't do cheer, period. Step mommy's feelings about any of it are entirely irrelevant and are not a consideration. I see no reason to pretend to be friends with low character liars, nor would I encourage my children to bond with such people and trust them, when I know they are not trustworthy. If dad's wife wasn't trying to shove her desires down the poor kid's throat, there would be no issue here.

So funky cootchie step mom steals husband, tries to steal kids and OP is in the wrong? Bull sh!t I would have loudly in the middle of the store yelled what is wrong with your cootchie? Oh that's right it is a dried up old prune that you have to steal others husband and kids. I am a petty b!tch. Bite me!

Man, so many people hate on step-parents and think they should have no role in their step-kids' lives. I can't believe the poll results that most people think a step-parent should have no input in deciding a step-child's activities... that shocks me as someone with a step-parent. I am so grateful to my step mom for loving and caring for me and really value her opinion and input. She's not my mom, only my mom is my mom, but she is a unique type of parent to me and I am so glad that she's a part of my life.

Jen is an AH, you shouldn't force kids into activities, but she's the step parent and if she was doing it appropriately, mom shouldn't interfere with the kids having whatever relationship with her they want. The affair and subsequent marriage is not the problem and it shouldn't be on the kids to avenge their mother's relationship. But she's obviously not listening to the kids, and that is a problem.

Why is Jen still alive and why didn't OP ask for full custody?

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I think ESH. Sure, say what you want if someone is doing something wrong BUT you should NEVER have a go at someone over their sterility. That is crossing the line and possibly makes OP worse..