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“[Am I The Jerk] For Ignoring My Ex Best Friend’s Pleas After She Was Hospitalized By My Brother?”
Sibling relationships are often messy. But when one sibling blames you for their dad leaving, takes every opportunity to make your life a nightmare, and drags others into the chaos, things move beyond petty fights.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) endured years of bullying, but things took a sharp turn when her childhood best friend became romantically involved with the very person who tormented her.
More info: Reddit
It’s one thing to have petty fights with your sibling, but it’s on a whole other level when they are toxic and weaponize their presence
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s brother was very abusive to her and her best friend knew about it, but it didn’t stop her from dating him
Image credits: Single_Strawberry_81
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author received a phone call that her brother had put her best friend in the hospital, but she wouldn’t budge, even though her best friend had been calling, too
Image credits: Single_Strawberry_81
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The best friend’s sibling called her claiming she was being unfair by not being there for her and that the best friend had simply made a mistake
Image credits: Single_Strawberry_81
The author refuses to believe that her best friend made a mistake because she knew what she was getting into when she chose to date her abusive brother
The OP described her painful childhood growing up with a brother who constantly maltreated her. With their father leaving and a distant mother, this left the OP even more vulnerable to her brother’s ill-treatment, from harsh words to initiating school bullying.
In the darkness, though, there was a light: her best friend. Her family soon became a refuge, offering the care and support her own family failed to provide. However, sometimes, your safe space can crumble.
At 16, the OP’s best friend did the unthinkable. She started dating the brother who had tormented her friend. To the OP, this wasn’t just betrayal — it was her best friend dismissing all the pain she’d endured, choosing to side with her bully.
When the OP confronted her friend, she didn’t apologize. In fact, she doubled down and said the OP was being controlling of who she could date and who she couldn’t. Their friendship shattered then, and so did her ties to her friend’s family.
Fast forward to some time after. The best friend’s relationship with the brother turned toxic, landing her in the hospital. Her father reached out to warn the OP about the danger her brother posed.
Her friend also tried reconnecting, desperate for support, but the OP wasn’t interested. She rejected any attempt made by her best friend to get in touch with her, unable to forgive the past. To her, the betrayal was a deliberate choice and not something that could be dismissed as manipulation.
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Bullying always has a negative impact on the person being bullied. As stated by Mentalhealth.com, it is detrimental to their emotional, physical, and psychological well-being. However, what can it be referred to when it is perpetrated by a sibling?
Psychology Today refers to it as sibling maltreatment. According to them, it is often dismissed as “sibling rivalry,” but in reality, it can be a form of severe bullying and emotional abuse. Maltreatment includes “shaming, harassing, belittling, gaslighting, name-calling, threatening, insistently teasing, or excluding a victim.”
It is usually one-sided, with one sibling dominating over the other. Maltreatment tends to happen repeatedly over time, and this often leads to emotional or psychological harm, whether clearly visible or not.
The psychological hurt experienced from her brother’s maltreatment and her best friend choosing to date him was the ultimate betrayal, and understandably so. PsychMechanics affirm that betrayal can be particularly damaging in friendships, and the pain felt is proportional to how much you’ve invested in the relationship.
However, they explain that the “psychological experience of betrayal” is that the hurt a person feels when betrayed is usually a sign to reassess the relationship and encourage the individual to redirect their emotions elsewhere.
Netizens agreed with this as they believed that the OP’s loyalty should lie with herself, not someone who had previously betrayed her. Others noted that the friend had enough time to apologize but only reached out when she needed help, which many felt was insincere.
In all, the majority of commenters strongly agree with the OP’s decision to cut ties with her former best friend, believing that her betrayal was unforgivable.
What would you have done if you were in the OP’s position? Would you have forgiven or cut ties? Please, let us know your thoughts!
Netizens believe that the friend knowingly chose to date an abuser and should face the consequences of her actions
What do you think ?
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