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How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs

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Ever wondered how to call someone stupid in a smart way so that you don’t step on any toes? We’ve all been there, faced with moments where roasting someone’s intellect seems like the only plausible response. But let’s be honest, calling someone outright stupid won’t make you the life of the party.

What you need are some intelligent insults—the smart way to suggest someone might need an intellectual boost. We’re not advocating for mean-spiritedness, but some situations demand hilarious comebacks and great insults. But make sure to balance your fancy insults with wit and charm so they don’t cause any emotional bruises.

A Reddit user u/lientubay asked the world, “What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?” Over 60,000 people had apparently pondered the same question, and the thread skyrocketed. People from all around the world shared various ways of how to insult someone politely by using both modern ingenuity and old folk proverbs.

So finally, instead of awkwardly using the same insult over and over again, like “so is your face,” you’ll have a list of things to say when encountering a stupid person. What a tough world for us—intelligent people—this is. Thanks for making our life bearable, Reddit!

Now, scroll down below to learn how to tell someone they’re dumb in a smart way. Got any intelligent insults of your own? Share them with us in the comments.

More Info: Reddit

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

woman running on the stadion In russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

humphr1es , terren in Virginia Report

Final score:

478points

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#2

an old man shaking hand to a military man I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong

captainawesome1983 , ResoluteSupportMedia Report

Final score:

360points

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#3

a little metal ball on the ground Sharp as a marble, that one.

randolotapus , James Samsonow Report

Final score:

350points

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What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?

Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.

There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
A few cards short of a full deck.
All foam, no beer.

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However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:

Dunderheaded
Anserine
Addlepated
Blinkard
Obtuse
Nescient

And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.

#4

close-up view of brain cells One of my personal favorites:

"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."

NostalgicPotat0 , Wikimedia Commons Report

Final score:

334points

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#5

man standing in a yellow boots in the puddle Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

dusty-kat , supafly Report

Final score:

271points

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#6

Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.

MidnytStorme Report

Final score:

262points

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How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?

Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.

Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.

To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.

Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.

We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.

Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”

Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”

Mic drop!

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Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.

#7

people under umbrellas walking on the street In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella"

GSavvage , Charles Edward Miller Report

Final score:

260points

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#8

man in a costume going with a basket and wooden spoons in his hands Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

BerenTheBold , Hans Splinter Report

Final score:

260points

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#9

colorful eggs lying on the grass You could hide your own Easter eggs.

bdiz78 , Eden, Janine and Jim Report

Final score:

248points

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#10

man smiling with plastic eyes on his face I think I saw this one here previously “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”.

soalindie , Slimane Lalami Report

Final score:

234points

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#11

glacier near water My teacher said I was as "quick as a glacier"...

Hairydoggie , Gareth Sloan Report

Final score:

225points

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#12

basic equipment for interviews It's impossible to underestimate you

Snugl-v301 , MACBA Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona Report

Final score:

215points

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#13

a red label with warning You're the reason we have warning labels.

igenus44 , Paul Fisher Report

Final score:

212points

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#14

"If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid."

TedMeister88 Report

Final score:

206points

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#15

three runners running on the stadion He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

perstn , The U.S. Army Report

Final score:

200points

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#16

If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.

Final score:

198points

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#17

A village somewhere is missing their idiot.

Too_Old_for_dis Report

Final score:

192points

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#18

a red carriage on the railways His train of thought is still boarding at the station.

Washjockey , elminium Report

Final score:

185points

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#19

a hamster sitting in a pink wheel The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead.

lburton273 , frankieleon Report

Final score:

179points

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#20

He needs to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he's wasting

Final score:

177points

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#21

I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you.

Stop_Screaming Report

Final score:

171points

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#22

pupils sitting on the floor in the classroom and listening their teacher "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."

-Captain Malcom Reynolds

FlipSchitz , Krishna Avanti School Report

Final score:

166points

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#23

Unencumbered by the thought process.

OldPolishProverb Report

Final score:

155points

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#24

Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. I said "I believe if there was a harder way to do that you two would find it."

They didn't get it.

pollotergeist Report

Final score:

147points

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#25

box of soup near the sockers Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

angrypunishment , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

140points

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#26

You could blow in their ear and they would say thanks for the refill.

Cooked_Bread Report

Final score:

138points

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#27

bottle of beer near the glass full of beer One of my all time favorites is "More foam than beer".

DoctorSalty , Bernt Rostad Report

Final score:

137points

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#28

man near the sign in the forest "At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note , Aaron Report

Final score:

114points

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#29

"Well pardon me, ma'am but what you don't know could fill a warehouse."

Courtesy of Bart Simpson.

kutuup1989 Report

Final score:

110points

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#30

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

WilburWhateleystwin Report

Final score:

110points

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#31

How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs Useful as a chocolate teapot.

dd28064212 , DvYang Report

Final score:

40points

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#32

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

Dick_Ramsbottom Report

Final score:

39points

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#33

How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs On a Canadian jobsite:

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven , Bernard Spragg. NZ Report

Final score:

38points

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#34

Bless your heart is a common southern subtle slap.

Final score:

38points

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#35

Your train of thought is a replacement bus service, isn't it?

AnarchistGoose Report

Final score:

35points

#36

Not the brightest crayon in the box. There are 2 arabic ones that I abuse.... (اذكى اخواته) smartest of his siblings. )وقت ما وزعو الغباء عدى مرتين When stupidity was distributed, he came back for seconds.... I freaking love them

jigoiswatching Report

Final score:

34points

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#37

They would be out of their depth in a parking lot puddle

Bamboozled_Noodle Report

Final score:

34points

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#38

A little too much chlorine in your gene pool.

Final score:

33points

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#39

In French we sometime say "he/she doesn't have electricity at every floor".

FrogInACupOfTea Report

Final score:

30points

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#40

The lights are on, but no ones in

shakeil123 Report

Final score:

30points

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#41

lmao I had a teacher that would always say 'keep them guessing, don't open your mouth and prove them right'.

Final score:

29points

#42

People who would "forget to breathe if their bodies didn't do it for them"

Final score:

29points

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#43

I like letterkennys “you’re just spare parts, aren’t ya bud”.

Mountain_Situation89 Report

Final score:

27points

#44

My grampa told me a few times "son you need lemons to make lemonade and you ain't got no lemons". I laugh every time.

Huck4108 Report

Final score:

26points

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#45

"You must have ironed your brain"

Angel_OfSolitude Report

Final score:

26points

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#46

"You're a brick short of a sandwich" or "Are you professional idiot, or just a gifted amateur?"

The_Boar_Shark Report

Final score:

25points

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#47

I wouldn't trust you to sit the right way on the toilet seat!

From Rowan Atkinson Live

Final score:

23points

#48

About as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

PissSphincter Report

Final score:

23points

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#49

He has different talents.

Final score:

20points

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Damanjeet Sethi

Damanjeet is passionate about cycling and fascinated by sci-fi movies. When not writing, you can find her conducting silly science experiments with her 5-year-old.

Damanjeet is passionate about cycling and fascinated by sci-fi movies. When not writing, you can find her conducting silly science experiments with her 5-year-old.

Robertas Lisickis

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Mantas Narkevičius

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

What do you think ?

judy baker 3 years ago

I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

34points

ArhomR 3 years ago

My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.

15points

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Phil Boswell 3 years ago

Also from GC: "think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

2points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

...or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench.

0points

Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago

Very true,we see this over and over again. However,I have seen also some malicious comments below that I would rate as Bullying.It is easy to make fun of people who are less intelligent,have had fewer oportunities or the means to study. In the olden times there was not a country that did not have a region or group of peoples that were considered inferior/rustic/dumb and stories would circulate at dinner-tables and every-one would have a great big guffard at their expense. Just a few examples...Hill-billies..Molbo-stories (in Denmark) the Alentejanos (Portugal) etc.Actually,years back when I was studying Anthropology I took up this subject and found out that most of these stories came from the same source.During the 100 years war the soldiers hired by the various Kings of Europe would travel up through the countries,meet up and swap stories when sitting around the camp-fires.

0points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

"A person is smart. People are stupid." (IIRC, that's from "Yes, Prime Minister")

0points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

This explains the outcome of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and the raid on the Capitol on 6 January 2021.

-1point

Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago

My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

31points

DBear 1 year ago

If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.

2points

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anonymous 3 years ago

i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"

17points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.

8points

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John Baker 3 years ago

Seems to me that's saying someone is ugly more than he's stupid.

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Lame.

-2points

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judy baker 3 years ago

I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

34points

ArhomR 3 years ago

My father used to call stupid people in a large group, “the idiot fringe”.

15points

Load More Replies...

Phil Boswell 3 years ago

Also from GC: "think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that."

2points

Old Roadie 1 year ago

...or Arlo Guthrie: sittin'' on the Group W bench.

0points

Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago

Very true,we see this over and over again. However,I have seen also some malicious comments below that I would rate as Bullying.It is easy to make fun of people who are less intelligent,have had fewer oportunities or the means to study. In the olden times there was not a country that did not have a region or group of peoples that were considered inferior/rustic/dumb and stories would circulate at dinner-tables and every-one would have a great big guffard at their expense. Just a few examples...Hill-billies..Molbo-stories (in Denmark) the Alentejanos (Portugal) etc.Actually,years back when I was studying Anthropology I took up this subject and found out that most of these stories came from the same source.During the 100 years war the soldiers hired by the various Kings of Europe would travel up through the countries,meet up and swap stories when sitting around the camp-fires.

0points

Michael Capriola Jr. 3 years ago

"A person is smart. People are stupid." (IIRC, that's from "Yes, Prime Minister")

0points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

This explains the outcome of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and the raid on the Capitol on 6 January 2021.

-1point

Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago

My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

31points

DBear 1 year ago

If you try to use that on MSN the censors usually flag it as hate speech.

2points

Load More Replies...

anonymous 3 years ago

i know an oldie but a goodie if you're looking for insults, appearance wise; "you're a thief and a murderer; you killed a monkey and stole his face"

17points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Monkeys are intelligent. That‘s an insult to monkeys.

8points

Load More Replies...

John Baker 3 years ago

Seems to me that's saying someone is ugly more than he's stupid.

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Lame.

-2points

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