Perfect. 😂😂😂

hahahahahahahahahahhaha billionare

I've recently learned that if a group or organization cannot exist without one person, it's not a group. It's not an organization. It's one person doing all the work and a whole bunch of other people just happened to be there.

Wise.

My husband struggles with subtitles... he's dyslexic. As around one in ten people are, that's going to be a lot of people who struggle with subtitles for very good reasons. Though personally I like them, but then I'm a bit deaf!!

Thank goodness we all find different people attractive. Chances are you’d die in the crush or die old and single otherwise. I’m still going down the old and single route anyway!

get into a large cardboard box and ship yourself to the seychelles, duh

at least half of all anxiety/depression is caused by not being financially stable

That's why one should not take their teenage crush/love seriously

Truth.

I would rather party outside than clean the house

Cat's still going to hog 98.5% of the bed.

As a teacher, I can confirm.

i dont need money, just a few thousand kilograms of solid gold thanks

That’s quite sweet.

Taking the joke to the next level: By using ticks as their weapon, the vegans are exploiting animals for their own agenda, thereby violating their own principals. The vegans are no longer vegans. Edit: violating principles, of course. Autocorrect thought that violating principals was the more likely option 🤔

I don’t keep my phone on silent because I’ve just never been able to feel phones vibrating. But I do have it set to automatically turn on do not disturb when I should be in bed. Edit: Well, I’m stupid. Of course silent or vibrate are different. I wasn’t thinking at all. But yeah, still don’t use silent except when I actually need to because I want notifications???

My experience is that women don't seem to notice them either so it's a tiebreaker.

Thank heavens it wasn’t a child. 🤔

she must be driving a delorean.

im bored. ooh, found some mints! want one?

My husband had some pretty bad breath once and I came up with, "You know it's flu season and they say brushing your teeth more helps keep your immune system up?" (Yes, total BS I came up with on the spot but there you go.) He looked at me and said, "If my breath is bad, please just say that because that didn't sound accurate at all."

Not telling someone their breath stinks is rude.

Just ask if they ate something oniony or something. They'll take the hint and they have an escape goat

I once worked somewhere as receptionist so I had access to delivery boxes. Small enough staff at the time that I decided the way to deal with this was by personally purchasing travel sized toothpaste and I anonymously placed one in each box to not single them out. Turns out halitosis is a medical condition and can't always be corrected with toothpaste.

Maybe by imitation? Put your hand on your mouth and say 'damn my breath stinks' and they might do the same?

Have a mint! You know what, take the whole box!

Serious answer: pull out some gum and chew a piece. Then offer them a piece.

Queue that one meme of the kid chugging mouthwash as the 'SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOT SHOTS SHOTS' song blasts

some guy walked up to me and friends and asked if we wanted to drink cheap booze. We thought he meant bud. The guy whipped out vanilla extract and mouthwash! Gross! Poor guy needed some help. At least he has fresh breath I guess.

Put on a face mask and tell them you are worried about covid.

"Let's have a teeth brushing contest, the person who brushes for the longest period wins $20."

This is how you end up in one of Chubbyemu's videos. Offer a mint instead. Chubbyemu posts really good videos about patients' medical stories and what led them to needing the ER; half the time, it's from doing something dumb/crazy. It's not a Reddit AI voice reading reddit posts while video-game footage plays in the background. It's riveting stories told by a doctor who explains what's going on and why, breaking down fancy medical terms.

I love Imagine Dragons!

It's a trap.

Can there be a third option where you push your ex down the stairs as a distraction? 🤔

Absolutely LOVED seeing Snoop at the Olympics. Almost as much as watching the US news services putting a disclaimer saying that there were two ways to read the medal tally!!! 😂😂😂

Resent your parents not the little siblings then

I literally said "oof" out loud when I read this.... That's rough.

I am never unthinking this…

ross: I'm FiIiiIIIIiiiNnnnNNeeEEEee

Geese.

Same!

To ve fair, i would probably have said that too, only I do have two 😅

Me too!

Watch the movie 'The Legacy' with Sam Elliott and Katharine Ross.

to be petty

ah s**t, here we go again...

I always wondered about that (if it was his given name). Talk about living up to your name!

Amen to that! And also I don’t like most people.

That's gin, not water

You're... embarrassed because you're *checks notes* "hungry?"