"Hi. Well, as you know, my daughter is graduating and off for college. You were her favorite teacher, so will you pay for her tuition? My husband usually does this, but he is playing golf and I don't want to bother him. I would do it myself, but I have spendaphobia, and I just can't. I hope you are empathetic enough to agree to this."

This is the kind of person who has babies as if they are dolls to play with instead of humans that need a lot of care.

If you're a germaphobe, kids are about the last thing you need.

But she's not grossed out by her child sitting in a pile of germs. Interesting.

I can understand having issues and how hard that must be. But, especially when you become a parent, this is on you to work on. Yes, it's crazy hard to HAVE to tackle your own demons but it's what it's expected of you. Go to therapy, get help - take responsibility for your issues. (Same if you have a hard time dealing with emotions or communicate your own feelings or needs etc (you will have to do handle these things a lot as a parent too)). I feel bad for the kid if she isn't up for going through hard times to make the future better.

If she cannot care for her first child she definitely should abstain from a second. It is 100% her responsibility as a parent to change the diaper. What a sense of entitlement having the gall in asking you outside of your employment to do the deed as if you were her servant. I think she may have been showing off in front of her friends trying to show that she can flex at some random gathering. And if those were real friends she was with at the event why didn't one of them step up and handle it? I would run from her if I was the husband.

I'm presuming the mother was a germophobe before having kids. If she also had emetaphobia before the baby was born, I wonder how she dealt with morning sickness. You've got to wonder if she tried to tackle it by way of therapy, or if she's just stuck with the I can't do it someone has to do it instead mentality. I'm not surprised all the friends kept quiet, hoping they wouldn't accidentally put them forward for duty changing the dirty nappy, but I am surprised it got to the point of the mother loading the child into the car still in that nasty nappy. The mother needs to try therapy or hypnotherapy to get over, or at least learn better to deal with, her issues since she's got years of the kid getting messy and kid being sick to deal with, and if her way of dealing is to try to offload responsibility onto anyone else, it could damage the parent/child relationship and might be the kid needing therapy.

When you're a parent you have to suck up any icks and phobias you have. I was very sensitive to vomit, the smell and sound of people being sick would promptly result in me sympathy heaving. My two year old once had Exorcist level puking in bed and when I picked her up she puked on my face, I puked on hers and both of us took a very prompt and teary shower from which I had to scoop up chunks from the plughole later. I am just as sensitive to puke but i just have to get on with it.

I was a daycare teacher myself for years and I would have reacted exactly the same way. How on earth does the mom manage at home?...

a hard pill to swallow: you absolutely must put aside your germophobia/emetophobia when you have children, because guess what? children get messy, they throw up, they get into all sorts of gross things. and you as a parent TO YOUR OWN CHILD have GOT to toughen up and a c t u a l l y t a k e c a r e o f y o u r k i d s!!!

I went to a childminder as a kid, both my sister and I were there from when we were babies until age 12 ish so she and her family basically like family to us. She once told us she was invited to another kids' parents party and accepted, assuming it to be as a friend, when she arrived they pointed her in the direction of a room full of kids, they invited her as a free baby sitter. People's entitlement rarely surprises me!

I also don’t change diapers…but, that’s one of the reasons I won’t have kids. NTA…not OP‘s problem!

The thing I just can't understand is how is this mom not doing anything about it? I mean, if I wasn't able to change my own child I'd be devastated and would immediately seek help to be able to control myself enough to get it done, no because I can't ask for other people's help but because it is such an important part of parenting and would know I am missing out on something. I mean, what is she going to do with potty training? It's another important thing in my child's life i would be missing out on!

Why would a germaphobe think it's a good idea to have a kid? Kids are so gross, she's in for a ride.

I can be empathetic as someone who's afraid of throwing up. I'm not very gag sensitive at all but poop is one of few things that make me want to vomit. But then don't have kids, the process itself is disgusting enough with blood and stuff.

I helped my daughter one summer with VBS, and my daughter asked if I would help with the babies, o I did, there were 3 other women in there with me, and not one of them would change a diaper, their excuse was I can’t stand changing someone else’s kids diaper, so that was my only day there, I felt like they were using me for the dirty work, and no I don’t like changing dirty diapers but I’ll be damned if I let a child marinate, in their own feces.

The mother thinks everyone is her servants. Everyone knows that as a parent(birth or adoption) you are stuck with the filth until the kid(s) get older. So pee, doodoo, spit and boogers are all a part of those duties. The fact that she asked someone on their day off to change a pamper, and then rather than she do it, put the child in the car with a sh**y pamper says she's a huge ah. She was okay with her kid sitting in her own mess. NTA.

First things first... you are a mandated reporter. You now have knowledge of a child being neglected. There is a difference between "Service and Servant". When you are at work you provide a service. I also gag and vomit at critical moments but I handle it because I have to. Make the call to CPS. It is your duty.

Just sad that without therapy for the woman the child is going to have so many issues growing up. Super clean house = poor immune system, high chance of allergies. Then there is impact of not being able to play in the dirt or having mother present when she is ill. Poor child.

If she's that bad she should never have had a kid. She can't rely on others to do all her "dirty" work.

I'd not only refuse but I'd call CPS while standing there

Yeah, I have sensory issues and am a 'sympathy vomiter', so I really cannot handle things like poop and puke. My solution is to not have children. I mean, I have a dog and she does that sometimes, but it's not quite the same as baby poop, y'know?

I know that phobias can be irrational, but what I would explain is this: 1. Do you have a problem with your own body? Can you clean and wipe yourself? 2. Your child is no different, and it doesn't even actually depend on if they're your biological child or not. That child is a part of you. What you do for them is no different than what you do for yourself.

Ridiculous Mom request. Apparently, her friends didn't know the full extent her phobia, illness, reluctance, or whatever. Otherwise they'd just change the diaper. The request was absurd.

I understand the moms issue and not having her husband as backup yatta yatta but how does she cope in the world solo with her kid? Just leaves it an waits for someone to do it for her or hubby to be near. So she's used up her 'get out of poo free' cards one friends and family and now is using the Karen card on "I pay you at the school so.. seems like they need to potty train this little one asap and figure out if she gags too wiping her own A*s.

How can people get children without being able to change a child's diaper? Even I can do that, and I never want to have children. Ok, I didn't do it very often, most diapers I changed weren't on a kid, but a girlfriend of my own age (with a broken hand, she couldn't do it herself then, but incontinence won't pause just because you have bone isses interfering with the application of absorbent underwear ... and those pull-ups are just c**p - more expensive, less capacity, more likely to leak and on top, you either gotta undress completely to change, or wear two or more on top of each other and just rip open the innermost when it is full, so these were hardly any option at all), but, essentially, this is the same. Just smaller, and usually, children's diapers only have two tapes, while adult's ones most times have four ... but, you can't seriously have a child and not get yourself together enough to either be able to change a diaper, or arrange that someone is around who can.