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30 People Confess What Depressing, Funny, And Embarrassing Secrets Would Come Out If They Died Today
Interview
Researchers have found that embarrassment is adaptive. We feel it more when we make mistakes in front of people who are close to us and less in front of outsiders.
(This is because we identify with our social groups and value their opinions over others, which allows embarrassment to elicit forgiveness and advertise trustworthiness, ultimately helping us repair relationships.)
So to learn about human nature, Reddit user Jotazepp decided to utilize the anonymity of the internet and asked everyone else on the platform to share the most sheepish things the world would find out if they were to suddenly pass away.
Let the discussion be a reminder to clear your browsing history!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I'm 71, when I die the surprise is: I spent all the money.
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We contacted Jotazepp, and the Redditor was kind enough to have a little chat with us.
"I got the idea for the post when I was watching some crime content (I don't remember the exact case, but this applies to many of them) where a significant other discovers the body of their loved one," Jotazepp told Bored Panda.
"So I thought, 'My bathroom is so filthy, what if I die and someone encounters this mess? How embarrassing!'"
#3
I'm female, and a male ex of mine loves dressing up in women's clothes, especially lacy underwear, silky nighties etc. He was really scared he was going to die and his family would find all this stuff. So he keeps it in an old suitcase of mine with my name, flight tags and address on it. So it looks like I've left it at his house. I personally think they'll still be surprised as I don't wear anything fancy (just jeans, black t shirts, etc), but it keeps him happy.
#4
That I write romance books under a pen name and they sell LOL.
#5
To do lists from when I've been depressed with stuff like "take a shower" and "go outside" and mostly not crossed off.
After getting familiar with the discussion, Jotazepp said, "A lot of people seem to be afraid of someone finding their kinky stuff (taste in pornography, sex toys, etc). Also, a recurring answer with which I agree was 'My search history.'"
Personally, the Redditor isn't fond of the emotion. "I think embarrassment is a negative feeling because it makes me feel uncomfortable."
And it's understandable. Who wouldn't prefer all of our social interactions to proceed smoothly? We don't want to offend our colleagues or look like oafs to our crushes.
#6
I still play with G.I. Joe’s and ninja turtles in the bathtub and I’m 42 years old.
#7
How much I’m lacking money on my bank account… And how terrible I’ve considered myself all my life 😂
Oh and… my darkest habit maybe, I always hated injustice. So sometimes I’m tracking crazy people that are seeking for children on the internet
Making them lose their time, go to false rendez-vous, and scare them so they actually aren’t meeting anyone, except their darkes fear 🤭.
#9
My 71-year-old single, never married aunt passed away last month. Upon her death, we discovered she was a hoarder. Her house was so cluttered with stuff that there was barely a narrow pathway to walk anywhere inside it.
Had this been discovered while she was alive, it would've been extremely embarrassing for her.
More information: My aunt wouldn't allow anyone in the family in her home during her last 10 years. Her home wasn't always like that. She wasn't found dead in her home. She was taken to the hospital when her sister (my Mom) hadn't heard from her for four days which hadn't happened before. My Mom called the police to check on her and that's when she was found on the floor of her bedroom unable to move and unable to reach her cellphone. Once in the hospital, she refused to allow anyone to retrieve her cellphone from her house. Out of respect for her privacy, no one retrieved it until she passed.
My aunt was loved by everyone who knew her. She was a kind, thoughtful, and generous person. Her secret once exposed did not diminish our love for her one bit.
#10
I smoke weed. I’m an old lady now. I’ve smoked for 52 years.
#11
I'm kind of known as a geeky academic person in my family and friends. However I write romance stories on one of the online platforms with fake name and have a good following.
They all will be surprised.
#12
I'm a heterosexual female. My search history would not indicate that.
BoredPossum 6 months ago
Maybe homo-hetero isn't that clearly separated but a diffuse gradient.
#13
For years, I've cultivated an idea for a business. It's a joke idea, but my friends and I have had so many funny conversations about it that it suddenly feels like a legit idea.
The business: "Skeletons in Your Closet". You wear a Fitbit-like device, and when you die, I get an alert. I rush to your house and erase all evidence of anything that would embarrass you. By the time your family gets there, your secrets will be safe!
I got this idea when a couple we hang out with jokingly asked me to dispose of their sex toys if they were to die unexpectedly.
#14
That I've been conducting a covert mission to document and rate every public restroom I've ever visited, complete with cleanliness scores and ambiance evaluations.
#15
Honestly nothing. I’m that boring. In the autopsy they’d see I have hemorrhoids but besides that not much else.
#16
We have some *ahem* interesting proclivities in the bedroom, so we already have a pact with each other to get rid of the evidence if one of us goes first. We have a friend who promised to take care of it if we go at the same time.
Rinoboyrich 6 months ago
There should be a service or program that upon your death, it deletes your browser history (and maybe even replaces it with a “respectable” false history)!
#17
To quote Seinfeld…
**JERRY:** Can't you at least die with a little dignity?
**GEORGE:** No I can't. I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?
#18
Diary-entry-like random notes where I’m venting about certain people / situations. Writing has always been a helpful way for me to process more intense/confusing emotions, but I do worry that if I suddenly die those notes will be found and people who I genuinely cared about in life may then think that this one random journal entry represented “the real way” I actually secretly thought about them in totality. When really it was just a moment and not representative of my whole relationship with them.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Best thing to do, burn the notes. No one will ever know and you can keep writing.
#19
I think I’m scared of anybody reading my diary. For my family (husband, kids, parents) , friends and coworkers I’m a smily and active person. But in reality I’m ALWAYS afraid of life, full of depressive thoughts, constantly fighting to not let my anxiety get the control of my mind knowing most of my life anxiety will win. If someone read what I write they will know that I was actually acting to be a good person when actually I’m a psychiatric case with no solution.
Linda Riebel 6 months ago
Yes, there's a solution! Find a therapist you click with and put down some of your burden. Good luck.
#20
If you’re reading this worried about someone finding something out- I had a friend who died accidentally from choking himself while pleasuring himself. In an effort to press upon people it wasn’t intentional and in her grief- his mom didn’t care who she told. Nobody else cared either. That’s not what we bring up about him. We’re all just sad he’s gone. Please be careful if that’s your thing, you guys.
#21
If I had died a year ago or so, people would find like 400 photos I took of someone I like doing an online video presentation... I just thought they looked lovely and inspiring and wanted to draw them later, so I needed some references. (The presentation was long and the person did a lot of interesting poses and expressions, so I took many photos.) But if someone found the photos without the context, they'd probably think I'm a crazy stalker.
#22
If they root around my room they're gonna find an entire collection of onesie pajamas, including a Charmander suit, strategically hidden away.
#23
My messy house.
#24
I have a sketchbook that I draw sexual stuff in and they are all drawings of me.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Omg. I'll admit I used to do that when I was a teen. Then my mom went a snooping in my room and found them. I got in a lot of s**t and she and her new husband argued or discussed it behind my back. I was mortified. Instead of talking to me, or slowly putting the drawing books away and let it be, I was made to feel disgusting and perverted.
#25
I told all my friends that if I die before them they should turn my memorial service into a total roast. Be merciless, I told them…..someone’s getting embarrassed. Just not me.
Daniel Marsh 6 months ago
Know what was the first comedy roast? A guy by the name of St. Lawrence. He's the guy who put the Holy Grail in Spain, where it always has been all this time. Would you believe he's the patron saint of stand-up comics? He's not even Canadian!... although that big river is named after him. The Romans got tired of being a smart a*s, so they roasted him alive. His last words were "turn me over, I'm done on this side." It's true!
#26
I have a list of secrets that my sister is in charge of. She is supposed to open it at my funeral and spill all the beans. I'm talking every dark secret between everyone that includes me. I'm hoping everyone leaves happy I'm dead. And the simple fact she still speaks to me is more than enough proof, I know she hasn't opened it yet.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
That is something to be embarrassed about. Imagine having issues with family members and putting the burden on your sibling to read out all the gossip about everyone in front of everyone, alone, at the worst possible time, your funeral. Might as well just get it all out or stop contacting the family if they're that bad.
#28
I am a boring accountant. In my dresser I have one drawer filled with weed gummies. In my underwear drawer I have 2 pair of panties from girls I dated and a set of handcuffs.
#29
I’ve got an old Playboy magazine under my bed that shows boobs.
#30
The lack of funds currently in my bank account lol.
What do you think ?
StumblingThroughLife 6 months ago (edited)
This year, since I'm getting to be an olld bird, I've been decluttering my house. As time goes on, things that I held onto that weren't sentimental or any use to anyone, has been thrown out or taken to charity shops. I also spent two days deeply scratching all optical disk copies of files, etc, that are no longer looked at, but some with personal/bank/PW, etc files, and have formatted old HDDs that had content "I may need one day" lol. Also clothes I know will NEVER fit me again 😂 Must admit, I feel quite proud of the clutter I'd cleared.
Dumb teenager 6 months ago
You’d be nuts to post anything else publicly without being anonymous
Load More Replies...
Jessica SpeLangm 6 months ago
I think most of these people didn't understand the assignment. Most of these things aren't embarrassing. They are a little depressing, but not embarrassing. To the person asking his/her sister to keep a whole bunch of family secrets.....get them out and stop making your sister do all your dirty work when you're dead. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that burden.
StumblingThroughLife 6 months ago (edited)
I hope she reads it just before the funeral and throws it away when thinking how upset she herself had been on reading it, and refuses to upset everyone else..
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 6 months ago (edited)
This year, since I'm getting to be an olld bird, I've been decluttering my house. As time goes on, things that I held onto that weren't sentimental or any use to anyone, has been thrown out or taken to charity shops. I also spent two days deeply scratching all optical disk copies of files, etc, that are no longer looked at, but some with personal/bank/PW, etc files, and have formatted old HDDs that had content "I may need one day" lol. Also clothes I know will NEVER fit me again 😂 Must admit, I feel quite proud of the clutter I'd cleared.
Dumb teenager 6 months ago
You’d be nuts to post anything else publicly without being anonymous
Load More Replies... Jessica SpeLangm 6 months ago
I think most of these people didn't understand the assignment. Most of these things aren't embarrassing. They are a little depressing, but not embarrassing. To the person asking his/her sister to keep a whole bunch of family secrets.....get them out and stop making your sister do all your dirty work when you're dead. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that burden.
StumblingThroughLife 6 months ago (edited)
I hope she reads it just before the funeral and throws it away when thinking how upset she herself had been on reading it, and refuses to upset everyone else..
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