Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
283
“Have No Intention Of Becoming Vegan”: Woman Taken Aback After Date Calls Her Out
To eat or not to eat meat when you’re in the company of a vegan—that is the question.
It’s one this Redditor has been mulling over after a third date with a guy she described as “funny, brilliant, and intelligent” didn’t quite go as planned. During the meal, he casually mentioned he was vegan, which she took in stride. But when it came time to order, the woman didn’t think twice about getting a burger.
Days later, though, the man sent her a text calling her choice “disrespectful.” Now, she’s wondering whether she may have been out of line.
RELATED:
On a date with a vegan man, the woman ordered a meat burger without hesitation
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, she’s questioning whether she may have been out of line
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Responsible-Fig3868
Vegans are nearly four times more likely than meat eaters to go on a date with someone who follows a different diet
People adopt veganism for a variety of reasons—be it health, ethics, environmental concerns, or simply all of the above. For some, these values are so important that they prefer their partners to share their lifestyle. However, with most of the world still consuming animal products, many vegans choose not to narrow their dating pool and are open to mixed-diet relationships.
In fact, research from Myvegan shows that vegans are nearly four times more likely than meat eaters to have gone on a date with someone who follows a different diet (33.9% vs. 13.6%). They’re also almost three times as likely to have been in a relationship with someone whose diet doesn’t align with theirs (38.7% vs. 10.3%).
But does that make ordering something as bold as a burger in front of a vegan appropriate, especially when you’re just getting to know each other? Bored Panda asked Scottish vegan influencer Sophia, known as @vegansoph on Instagram and TikTok, to weigh in.
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Sophia, who has a non-vegan partner, doesn’t believe eating meat around vegans is inherently bad manners. “I guess it’s similar to one friend ordering a low-calorie salad because they’re on a weight-loss diet, and the other ordering a cheeseburger and fries,” she says. “It might seem a bit senseless, but I don’t think it’s rude.”
Being vegan for five years hasn’t stopped Sophia from comfortably dining with meat eaters. “Unless I want to spend the duration of the meal talking about veganism, I won’t bring it up,” she notes.
“That said, in the context of the first few dates, where you’re trying to put your best foot forward, it would have been a thoughtful gesture to order something vegan as a sign of respect,” she adds. “However, if the man expected both people to eat vegan, he should have made that clear from the start to avoid any awkwardness.”
Plenty of readers defended the woman
Others, however, thought her choice was inconsiderate
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Jostanquecla 1 day ago
Long term vegetarian here. What other people eat is none of my business. But at the same time, they don't get to make comments on what I eat. I wouldn't kiss someone who just ate a meaty burger though.
brandyy17 20 hours ago
u r a kind person. u clearly respect urself and others. my aunt if a vegetarian married to a nonvegetarian and not once has she ever complained about his meat eating habits. he used to a b a huge fan of beef. he loved his steaks. however he now has heart disease so he cant eat how he used to. the rest of the family? we have eaten meat infront of her and she doesnt care. one time she even made chicken parm for a holiday. its best to respect others choices but u gotta respect urself to. one if my cousins is also a vegetarian and her husband isnt he is very respectful about it too. he learned how to make all sorts of vegetarian dishes just so he can cook for her. my cousin is a little meh wen it comes to cooking meat tho. she has a whole different set of pots and pans for cooking meat. i mean i get it but my aunt isnt like that so its a bit weird to me. she makes sure that wen ppl criticize her she stands up for herself and reminds them to eat wat they want while she eats wat she wants.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 1 day ago
Nothing wrong with either approach, they're just not compatible, no fault on either side. Shake hands and walk away.
Orysha 1 day ago
This vegan guy seems to be a control freak, he didn't ask her to become vegetarian yet but that would be the next step.
Load More Replies...
Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 1 day ago
I keep kosher, and would think it was weird if someone who didn't decided that they also had to eat kosher around me. Like what. That makes no sense. These are my rules, not yours.
arthbach 1 day ago
Aerial, Jewish people have been keeping kosher for centuries. I think this gives a more mature outlook on the situation. "These are my rules, not yours" typifies it. In cultures where vegetarianism and veganism is the norm, there's a very similar approach. However, with western veganism, there's a amount of 'convert zeal'. This can lead to evangelical vegans.
Load More Replies...
Kirsten Kerkhof 1 day ago
He should have suggested a vegan restaurant if he really couldn't stand her choosing a meat option.
BrownEyedPanda 1 day ago
Here come the whining YTA'ers again. They must be the militant vegans I've heard too much about. 🙄
Rahul Pawa 20 hours ago (edited)
Either that or controlling boys (or girls) who haven't grown up yet (regardless of age).
Load More Replies...
MindNumbinglyBoringJob 19 hours ago
I am a vegetarian and have zero issue with dating a meat eater. BUT meat eaters seem to have an issue dating a vegetarian. I always feel like I am in some war movie under the spot light being interrogated when they find out. WHY WHY WHHHHHHYHYY don't you eat meat......
RAM31280 22 hours ago
NTA. He has no right to judge your choice of food, and if he can't put up with people making food choices he doesn't agree with around him, that must be a hassle to eat at restaurants. My wife has gone through various diets pescatarian/Vegan/currently vegetarian, while I have remained an omnivore the whole time, but I do enjoy meatless meals mixed in too, it can work, but not with his current mindset.
Deborah B 1 day ago
NTA. I'm also of the opinion that if you date a vegan, you should order and eat meat in front of them, very early in the relationship. Not to be mean, but to test your compatibility. If they're going to expect to control your diet, and you don't intend to let them, best to get the boundries established before either of you is emotionally invested in the relationship.
Tabitha 22 hours ago (edited)
I can’t eat gluten or I get sick. My husband has no such dietary restriction. I absolutely do NOT expect him to forego bread and cake just because I can’t share it with him, ffs. He also doesn’t try to make me eat anything with gluten in it because it’s more convenient, because guess who it was who held my hair back while I was sick as a dog outing my guts out before we found out gluten was the culprit? Yeah, that really got the message through to him. When we go out for a meal, I just pick out what I can eat and let him eat what he wants. At home we have some gluten free items for shared food that he swears taste just like the ones with gluten, and we make meals that include them in the ingredients. An example is gluten free cream of mushroom soup that I use as a base for casseroles and crockpot meals. No difference in taste or consistency from the version with gluten. Anything else that really tastes different has two versions made. A good example is turkey stuffing, as the gluten free version is definitely not the same as his favorite Stove Top. Gluten free breads have an annoying tendency to be really crumbly, and my stuffing might taste good, but it definitely doesn’t hold together like his. So we make smaller amounts of both. If we didn’t compromise on this, we wouldn’t still be together after almost 24 years. So this guy trying to guilt trip OP for eating meat on a date with him is never going to have a successful relationship with anyone—-except maybe another militant vegan control freak like himself—-if he can’t learn to compromise, and let people have their choice instead of forcing them to change. No one is going to put up with that horseshit for long, especially if he keeps springing new pieces of rather important information like that on them at inconvenient times. Not to mention he seems to expect everyone else to read his f*****g mind and “just know” what’s rolling around in there. Anyone who is like that is going to have a very unhappy life, because people are NOT mind readers and will not put up with that horseshit for long either. OP is well out of it.
Orysha 1 day ago
Another vegan psycho wanting to control what other people eat. He might have chosen a vegan restaurant and he should restrict his dating pool to hardcore vegans.
Abraxas59 1 day ago
Exactly that lol I swear Ewing a bloody vegan is like a cult only they matter they who must be obeyed
Load More Replies...
UncleJohn3000 19 hours ago
Zealots of all stripes are obnoxious, and sadly, the last ones who know this about themselves.
Schmebulock 20 hours ago
She should have ordered a rare steak and slowly eaten it while staring him in the eyes.
Gwyn 22 hours ago
I would say she is NTA because if he uncomfortable seeing someone eat meat in front of him then he should only be dating vegans. It all depends on his reason for being vegan -if it's for health then sure date a non vegan. If it's for moral reasons then why the heck would you even consider dating a nonvegan? They don't share your beliefs and it's wrong to expect another person to change their beliefs for you. Sounds more to me like he is entitled, thinking whatever women he dates have to be submissive to his wants always.
Laura Slade 1 day ago
I'm not vegan although am trying to phase out animal products. I have vegan friends and generally choose vegan options when dining out with them as a mark of respect
Nils Skirnir 1 day ago
NTA. But a dripping burger is a pretty gross thing to order in front of a vegan. Only thing worse would have been a steak cooked ‘Argentinian rare’ and swimming in blood
Sailorman 12 hours ago
My sister and her husband are vegetarians to the point of being full vegans... to each their own is my motto, but being called a carnivore to my face by my BIL was too much... that was over 15 years ago; guess who we went no-contact with? There was other s**t my sister tried to pull; that didn't help either... goes to prove that you can choose your friends but not your family...
Michael Largey 17 hours ago
When someone tells you they're a Vegan, ask them if they hit the casinos much.
Dave Morris 17 hours ago
Lets just reverse the headline from the main page... "Woman Orders Vegan Burger On A Date With A Meat Eater, Gets Labeled “Tactless”". OK?
DeeDee M 17 hours ago
This is what I would call a fatal incompatability. He's an overly-sensitive potential control freak, and she was extremely insensitive. People that adopt being vegan as their personality...just blech. It's so gross and pretensious. On the other hand, some vegans don't eat any animal anything, because it's a very deep-seated conviction they have and it really bothers them. HOWEVER, be comfortable and secure in your own convictions. If its that important to you, seek out like-minded partners, be vocal about it! It's your love life after all, and completely opposite diets arent sustainable in a shared life, especially once kids are involved. This was a case of two people who didn't communicate effectively, and then didn't like the result.
Midoribird Aoi 17 hours ago
Unless a sensitive allergy is involved, I am going to eat what I want in front of others. If they do politely ask otherwise, I might be game on going with it, though.
Trista JW 17 hours ago (edited)
This guy had no right to treat her the way he did, that reeks of wanting to be in control. As long as she didn't taunt him while she was eating her burger, she did nothing wrong. Just because he's a vegan, it doesn't give him the right to accruse her of being disrepsectful or anything of that nature. I would have ordered an extemely rare burger, with a side of ribs and chicken wings for dessert, if I was treated the way she was. I don't care what you eat, or what your reasoning might be, no one has the right to dictate or be offended by what someone else eats or drinks.
JuniorCJ82 18 hours ago
F**k all of the YTAs, ESPECIALLY the one who said she "made" him pay for meat. Bahahahahahahahaha... no.
JD 17 hours ago
It very much depends on what he said during "explained his convictions, etc." Weird that zero details are shared for that part. That could mean just about anything. If, for example, he mentioned how the smell of cooked meat, or seeing bloody runoff repulses and disgusts him -- yeah, that might seem a bit dramatic in-your-face to chow down on a juicy burger not long after hearing that. Without know what he said during "his convinctions, etc" we don't have context for his reaction.
Mike F 17 hours ago
These always blow me away. What if the OP will have nothing to do with carrots and the date just loves them. While I understand that this after all a SM post, WHY in the name of everything holy would the OP be required to eat/act a certain way because they're sitting across from a vegan? I'm gonna toss something out that's sure to ruffle a few feathers; if the "date" was say, a Mormon, would the OP be required to wear a dress for the date? Where would the righteous indignation fall in THAT scenario? Now, if the date were to be (agreed upon) at the opera and the OP showed up in ripped jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt, THAT'S disrespectful! Why should OP be required to change their eating habits simply because of their date?
Abraxas59 1 day ago
Here shows he is one of those bloody vegans so up their own a**e. , I’d be telling hi, to do one sorry no one tells me what I can and can’t eat no way in hell I don’t like processed foods and I won’t cook any lol. It I don’t stop my kids eating it long as they buy it now they working I’m a home cook from scratch he had no right what to ever to be so mean about it vegan food is vile and tasteless lol and last time I looked we are human not rabbits that said his choice to be one and that does not give him the right to force it on her or make her not eat meat n I would be the one eating a lovey blue steak lol cos that’s my choice n it’s allowed ! NTA And I assume all the yea idiots are also vegans lol
N G 1 day ago
If you were with an asian person who regularly ate dog meat. You explained that you didn't like it, even tho it was their traditional food. Would you be offended if they ate it whilst dining together?
Janissary35680 1 day ago (edited)
Depends on whether I had previously known the dog or not. 🤔😄
Load More Replies...
Happy_Pandalover 22 hours ago
Not all all. He probably invited her to that dinner and he didn't state she couldn't order meat.
Load More Replies... 
Jostanquecla 1 day ago
Long term vegetarian here. What other people eat is none of my business. But at the same time, they don't get to make comments on what I eat. I wouldn't kiss someone who just ate a meaty burger though.
brandyy17 20 hours ago
u r a kind person. u clearly respect urself and others. my aunt if a vegetarian married to a nonvegetarian and not once has she ever complained about his meat eating habits. he used to a b a huge fan of beef. he loved his steaks. however he now has heart disease so he cant eat how he used to. the rest of the family? we have eaten meat infront of her and she doesnt care. one time she even made chicken parm for a holiday. its best to respect others choices but u gotta respect urself to. one if my cousins is also a vegetarian and her husband isnt he is very respectful about it too. he learned how to make all sorts of vegetarian dishes just so he can cook for her. my cousin is a little meh wen it comes to cooking meat tho. she has a whole different set of pots and pans for cooking meat. i mean i get it but my aunt isnt like that so its a bit weird to me. she makes sure that wen ppl criticize her she stands up for herself and reminds them to eat wat they want while she eats wat she wants.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 day ago
Nothing wrong with either approach, they're just not compatible, no fault on either side. Shake hands and walk away.
Orysha 1 day ago
This vegan guy seems to be a control freak, he didn't ask her to become vegetarian yet but that would be the next step.
Load More Replies... Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 1 day ago
I keep kosher, and would think it was weird if someone who didn't decided that they also had to eat kosher around me. Like what. That makes no sense. These are my rules, not yours.
arthbach 1 day ago
Aerial, Jewish people have been keeping kosher for centuries. I think this gives a more mature outlook on the situation. "These are my rules, not yours" typifies it. In cultures where vegetarianism and veganism is the norm, there's a very similar approach. However, with western veganism, there's a amount of 'convert zeal'. This can lead to evangelical vegans.
Load More Replies... Kirsten Kerkhof 1 day ago
He should have suggested a vegan restaurant if he really couldn't stand her choosing a meat option.
BrownEyedPanda 1 day ago
Here come the whining YTA'ers again. They must be the militant vegans I've heard too much about. 🙄
Rahul Pawa 20 hours ago (edited)
Either that or controlling boys (or girls) who haven't grown up yet (regardless of age).
Load More Replies... MindNumbinglyBoringJob 19 hours ago
I am a vegetarian and have zero issue with dating a meat eater. BUT meat eaters seem to have an issue dating a vegetarian. I always feel like I am in some war movie under the spot light being interrogated when they find out. WHY WHY WHHHHHHYHYY don't you eat meat......
RAM31280 22 hours ago
NTA. He has no right to judge your choice of food, and if he can't put up with people making food choices he doesn't agree with around him, that must be a hassle to eat at restaurants. My wife has gone through various diets pescatarian/Vegan/currently vegetarian, while I have remained an omnivore the whole time, but I do enjoy meatless meals mixed in too, it can work, but not with his current mindset.
Deborah B 1 day ago
NTA. I'm also of the opinion that if you date a vegan, you should order and eat meat in front of them, very early in the relationship. Not to be mean, but to test your compatibility. If they're going to expect to control your diet, and you don't intend to let them, best to get the boundries established before either of you is emotionally invested in the relationship.
Tabitha 22 hours ago (edited)
I can’t eat gluten or I get sick. My husband has no such dietary restriction. I absolutely do NOT expect him to forego bread and cake just because I can’t share it with him, ffs. He also doesn’t try to make me eat anything with gluten in it because it’s more convenient, because guess who it was who held my hair back while I was sick as a dog outing my guts out before we found out gluten was the culprit? Yeah, that really got the message through to him. When we go out for a meal, I just pick out what I can eat and let him eat what he wants. At home we have some gluten free items for shared food that he swears taste just like the ones with gluten, and we make meals that include them in the ingredients. An example is gluten free cream of mushroom soup that I use as a base for casseroles and crockpot meals. No difference in taste or consistency from the version with gluten. Anything else that really tastes different has two versions made. A good example is turkey stuffing, as the gluten free version is definitely not the same as his favorite Stove Top. Gluten free breads have an annoying tendency to be really crumbly, and my stuffing might taste good, but it definitely doesn’t hold together like his. So we make smaller amounts of both. If we didn’t compromise on this, we wouldn’t still be together after almost 24 years. So this guy trying to guilt trip OP for eating meat on a date with him is never going to have a successful relationship with anyone—-except maybe another militant vegan control freak like himself—-if he can’t learn to compromise, and let people have their choice instead of forcing them to change. No one is going to put up with that horseshit for long, especially if he keeps springing new pieces of rather important information like that on them at inconvenient times. Not to mention he seems to expect everyone else to read his f*****g mind and “just know” what’s rolling around in there. Anyone who is like that is going to have a very unhappy life, because people are NOT mind readers and will not put up with that horseshit for long either. OP is well out of it.
Orysha 1 day ago
Another vegan psycho wanting to control what other people eat. He might have chosen a vegan restaurant and he should restrict his dating pool to hardcore vegans.
Abraxas59 1 day ago
Exactly that lol I swear Ewing a bloody vegan is like a cult only they matter they who must be obeyed
Load More Replies... UncleJohn3000 19 hours ago
Zealots of all stripes are obnoxious, and sadly, the last ones who know this about themselves.
Schmebulock 20 hours ago
She should have ordered a rare steak and slowly eaten it while staring him in the eyes.
Gwyn 22 hours ago
I would say she is NTA because if he uncomfortable seeing someone eat meat in front of him then he should only be dating vegans. It all depends on his reason for being vegan -if it's for health then sure date a non vegan. If it's for moral reasons then why the heck would you even consider dating a nonvegan? They don't share your beliefs and it's wrong to expect another person to change their beliefs for you. Sounds more to me like he is entitled, thinking whatever women he dates have to be submissive to his wants always.
Laura Slade 1 day ago
I'm not vegan although am trying to phase out animal products. I have vegan friends and generally choose vegan options when dining out with them as a mark of respect
Nils Skirnir 1 day ago
NTA. But a dripping burger is a pretty gross thing to order in front of a vegan. Only thing worse would have been a steak cooked ‘Argentinian rare’ and swimming in blood
Sailorman 12 hours ago
My sister and her husband are vegetarians to the point of being full vegans... to each their own is my motto, but being called a carnivore to my face by my BIL was too much... that was over 15 years ago; guess who we went no-contact with? There was other s**t my sister tried to pull; that didn't help either... goes to prove that you can choose your friends but not your family...
Michael Largey 17 hours ago
When someone tells you they're a Vegan, ask them if they hit the casinos much.
Dave Morris 17 hours ago
Lets just reverse the headline from the main page... "Woman Orders Vegan Burger On A Date With A Meat Eater, Gets Labeled “Tactless”". OK?
DeeDee M 17 hours ago
This is what I would call a fatal incompatability. He's an overly-sensitive potential control freak, and she was extremely insensitive. People that adopt being vegan as their personality...just blech. It's so gross and pretensious. On the other hand, some vegans don't eat any animal anything, because it's a very deep-seated conviction they have and it really bothers them. HOWEVER, be comfortable and secure in your own convictions. If its that important to you, seek out like-minded partners, be vocal about it! It's your love life after all, and completely opposite diets arent sustainable in a shared life, especially once kids are involved. This was a case of two people who didn't communicate effectively, and then didn't like the result.
Midoribird Aoi 17 hours ago
Unless a sensitive allergy is involved, I am going to eat what I want in front of others. If they do politely ask otherwise, I might be game on going with it, though.
Trista JW 17 hours ago (edited)
This guy had no right to treat her the way he did, that reeks of wanting to be in control. As long as she didn't taunt him while she was eating her burger, she did nothing wrong. Just because he's a vegan, it doesn't give him the right to accruse her of being disrepsectful or anything of that nature. I would have ordered an extemely rare burger, with a side of ribs and chicken wings for dessert, if I was treated the way she was. I don't care what you eat, or what your reasoning might be, no one has the right to dictate or be offended by what someone else eats or drinks.
JuniorCJ82 18 hours ago
F**k all of the YTAs, ESPECIALLY the one who said she "made" him pay for meat. Bahahahahahahahaha... no.
JD 17 hours ago
It very much depends on what he said during "explained his convictions, etc." Weird that zero details are shared for that part. That could mean just about anything. If, for example, he mentioned how the smell of cooked meat, or seeing bloody runoff repulses and disgusts him -- yeah, that might seem a bit dramatic in-your-face to chow down on a juicy burger not long after hearing that. Without know what he said during "his convinctions, etc" we don't have context for his reaction.
Mike F 17 hours ago
These always blow me away. What if the OP will have nothing to do with carrots and the date just loves them. While I understand that this after all a SM post, WHY in the name of everything holy would the OP be required to eat/act a certain way because they're sitting across from a vegan? I'm gonna toss something out that's sure to ruffle a few feathers; if the "date" was say, a Mormon, would the OP be required to wear a dress for the date? Where would the righteous indignation fall in THAT scenario? Now, if the date were to be (agreed upon) at the opera and the OP showed up in ripped jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt, THAT'S disrespectful! Why should OP be required to change their eating habits simply because of their date?
Abraxas59 1 day ago
Here shows he is one of those bloody vegans so up their own a**e. , I’d be telling hi, to do one sorry no one tells me what I can and can’t eat no way in hell I don’t like processed foods and I won’t cook any lol. It I don’t stop my kids eating it long as they buy it now they working I’m a home cook from scratch he had no right what to ever to be so mean about it vegan food is vile and tasteless lol and last time I looked we are human not rabbits that said his choice to be one and that does not give him the right to force it on her or make her not eat meat n I would be the one eating a lovey blue steak lol cos that’s my choice n it’s allowed ! NTA And I assume all the yea idiots are also vegans lol
N G 1 day ago
If you were with an asian person who regularly ate dog meat. You explained that you didn't like it, even tho it was their traditional food. Would you be offended if they ate it whilst dining together?
Janissary35680 1 day ago (edited)
Depends on whether I had previously known the dog or not. 🤔😄
Load More Replies... Happy_Pandalover 22 hours ago
Not all all. He probably invited her to that dinner and he didn't state she couldn't order meat.
Load More Replies... You May Like “Find Another Babysitter”: Aunt Quits After Nephew Throws Full Dinner Plate At Her Grandma Spills Secret After Death, Leaves Son Without Inheritance: “He Doesn’t Know That I Know” Woman Dumps BF That She Supported For Over A Year While He Had No Job For Lack Of Self-Awareness
Justinas Keturka
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
34
52