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“I Was Known As A Creep For Years”: 30 Men Reveal The Times They Undeservingly Were Called Creepy
Your life and safety are no joke, so it’s always best to err on the side of caution. One study shows that nearly two-thirds of women have experienced street harassment. So, first impressions are certainly important when it comes to staying vigilant. Nobody’s denying that. However, they’re not always accurate. In some cases, you can wildly misinterpret a stranger’s character and intent just because they happen to be in your vicinity.
To that end, some of the men on the internet took to r/AskReddit and spilled the beans about the biggest misunderstandings they’ve been in, where someone wrongly labeled them as creeps. Scroll down to read all about their awkward and embarrassing stories.
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#1
Teacher here. Went to a retail store and was standing in line. There was an 8th/9th grader a few people ahead of me paying for school supplies with *coins* and she had to make a decision of what to keep and what to put away because she didn't have enough money
Walked up and said I would pay because I taught at a local school (I still had my badge on.) The girl was happy and said thank you, but the looks the cashier and other people gave me in line were like daggers
I heard murmurs about how it was weird and the cashier said nothing to me when she rang me out.
I was mad at first, but I'd do it again. If kids can't afford what they need to not fall behind I don't care what random people think.
Janissary35680 1 month ago (edited)
What's weird or dagger-look attracting about what the OP did?
RELATED:
#2
I "followed" some girls my age. They were driving and so was I. They took random turns for a while to confirm that I was following them however they drove right to my cul de sac.
When I stopped and they confronted me, I just opened my garage door and went inside. Kinda understandable, but if a stranger really is following you, don't stop and talk to them.
#3
I tripped and fell on a sidewalk. When I got to my knees, a woman in a skirt was standing over me asking if I needed help. When I first looked up, I was looking at her underwear. Another woman yelled at me "What kind of a pervert are you, looking up women's skirts like that!" The woman in the skirt came to my defense and helped me up. She told off the other woman, "Can't you see he fell? His hands are bleeding!"
Still, other people there gave me the hairy eyeball. The woman in the skirt insisted on helping getting my hands attended to. I was terribly embarrassed, but she wasn't bothered one bit. I was 22 at the time. I was very conscious when walking on that sidewalk after that.
Anne Jones 1 month ago
This is so sad. Rather than helping him, a woman shouted at him! Thank goodness for the nice lady who helped him.
One survey from 2014, commissioned by Stop Street Harassment, found that 65% of women reported having been harassed in public. Some of the most common forms of harassment included leering, honking, whistling, sexist comments, vulgar gestures, explicit comments, and kissing noises. Many women also reported being followed, having their paths blocked, being grabbed, and even being assaulted.
Meanwhile, 25% of male respondents reported that they had been street harassed. The most common form of harassment they experienced was homophobic or transphobic slurs.
#4
Usually just being a father of a young kid at the playground, birthday party, or other function is enough. Mom's stare at you assuming the worst, when really you're just trying your hardest to be a part of your kids life.
Andrew Irish 1 month ago
This is a brutal reality. I'm transgender. Born female, and transitioned to male. I got my chest surgery almost 20 years ago, and have been on testosterone for almost 15. I'm 41yo now, and so I pass as a cis (meaning non-trans) guy. I'm very happy with my transition, but there are many dangers and uncomfortable realities to say the least,. 1 of the worst, is that I went from being seen as safe and adorable when playing "faces" or otherwise engaging with kids to being seen as a complete creep every damn time. Within my personal identity, I recognize my very strong maternal instincts. I am thrilled to be a parent, and I love kiddos. The majority are so laid back, accepting, creative and kind. It has been SO SO hard to stop looking in any kids direction (in public). Definitely no faces, or games. My wife can do as she pleases, and I remember that. It breaks my heart. If I screw up and help a kid reach something or otherwise chit chat, parents look horrified. It SUCKS.
#5
I was in the dorm elevator riding down from floor 12 and the elevator stopped at floor 8. Two girls were waiting for the elevator and one looked at me and said to the other “uh, that’s creepy. There’s some guy in there.”
Pretty weird that someone else would ride an elevator, eh?
#6
In my freshman year, my High School as going to charge me a a predator for showing sign of Sexual harassment. What did I do?
A girl was talking down about herself during math period, when the bell rung, I caught up to her and told her "Hey, just want to let you know that you're beautiful, and all the stuff you said about yourself isn't true. You are amazing and I hope things get better". Then we left the classroom.
Apparently, the substitute teacher heard me say this and reported it to main office. 2 days later, I am called into the Dean's office and was told that calling a girl you don't know Beautiful or Pretty is Sexual Harassment, and that is a sign that I am a sexual predator.
Thankfully it didn't go any further, cause the social workers said they would interview other female students I am seen with most often, and they all stood up for me or was confused why they would ask that. But it still pisses me off when I remember.
The Darrigo and Diaz personal injury law firm suggests that if you suspect that someone may be following you while you’re driving in the city, try making four right turns. If the car you were suspicious of is still behind you, it’s almost guaranteed that it’s following you.
Meanwhile, if you’re on the interstate, try exiting it and getting back on. It’s very suspicious if the person in the car behind you does the same. Alternatively, try slowing down for a few minutes to check if the other driver mimics you. If they don’t pass you, it’s a red flag.
#7
Because I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. They insisted that if I'm not attracted to adult men and women, then I must be attracted to child boys and girls, because apparently to them being a p*dophile was more reasonable than being asexual.
#8
Standing quietly behind someone in a grocery store, reading a book on my phone and listening to music in my earbuds. She eventually taps my arm and tells that "you're not fooling anybody so stop staring at her!" Apparently asking why would I be staring at her was the wrong thing to ask and she went off on one, fortunately the cashier and the two older ladies stepped up for me. Shout out for the one saying " no he's got a point why would any one waste a second glance on you, your so bland your just background like furniture in a chip shop" which I don't truly get but sent her nuclear before a manager asked her to leave.
#9
I had a professional quality camera (this was back before cameras were on cellphones) and was seemingly taking pictures of kids at a playground. Thankfully it was a digital camera and I could show the police that were called that I was taking pictures of my own son for his grandparents.
Anne Jones 1 month ago (edited)
My daughter (5) asked her dad to take a photo of her at the swimming pool. She was proud of her new cossie . Oh, my goodness! You’d have thought he’d killed someone! So embarrassed.
The best way to react if you’re being followed while driving is to remain as calm and cool as possible. Your goal is to remain in control and safe. You should not indicate to your stalker that you know that they’re following you. Nor should you drive home: you don’t want to lead them to where you live. Instead, drive in a different direction. Preferably, somewhere well-lit and crowded.
Meanwhile, if you feel that you are in danger, call the police or head to the nearest station. Call the authorities anyway, even if you’re not 100% sure if the threat is real. It’s always better to be safe. The police will instruct you on what to do next.
#10
I was a professional touring musician. I was on a flight (which I often was) and this maybe 9 or 10 year old girl was in the seat next to me flying alone and she had a violin with her.
SHE initiated a conversation with me because she saw me put my guitar in the over head. She asked me what kind of guitar and what i played etc. We had a nice conversation about composers we like and she was telling me about a piece she was composing herself! Really cool kid.
This goes on for about 10 minutes and the flight attendant comes by and tells the girl if she wants she can sit "up front" in first class! The kid actually looked at me like, "what do I do?" I was like, 'wow thats awesome go!"
Now keep in mind, Im not a long hair freaky looking music type, Im totally clean cut and normal...
Anyway, a few min later another flight attendant goes over and I hear her ask the one that moved the girl why and I heard her say she didn't feel comfortable with "that man" talking to her.
I was really hurt.
I mean I get it, people are nuts and you never know but it really bothered me.
#11
I was sitting on a chair in the hallway, head in my hands staring at the floor, just found out my Aunt died. Just thousand yard staring stuck in thought eyes unfocused.
girl in class walks over standing in front of me while on her phone. Notices me and freaks out accusing me of staring at her feet.
was known as the creepy feet guy for a few months after that.....
#12
I struggle to speak and that used to get me labelled creepy. then i lost a bunch of weight and now it's just considered shyness. crazy how that works.
Have you ever been followed, dear Pandas? On the flip side, has anyone felt threatened by you or called you a creep due to a misunderstanding? How did you react in those situations?
What advice would you give anyone who’s feeling unsafe while in public? Share your experiences and advice in the comments section at the bottom of this post.
#13
I'm a lifeguard, someone got mad I looked at them when there in the water, it felt like I was in a onion article.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
Ummmm it's your freaking job to actually look at the people while they are in the water for their safety.
#14
Changing my daughter in the women's restroom because it was the only one with a changing table.
#15
I once got home at about 3 am, and parked my car in my parking spot about 2 blocks from my apartment. I was walking home, alone on the street except for one girl who was ahead of me on the sidewalk. I guess she felt uncomfortable, so she started running, but she was a slow runner. I kept walking at the same speed, which was not particularly fast.
Apparently, we were neighbours because she ran all the way to my apartment building and ran inside, slamming the door to the elevator room behind her. I felt kind of bad, I decided to take the stairs. I lived on the second floor anyway.
Turns out we lived on the same floor, and the elevator opened up right as I was walking out of the stairwell. Did my best not to make eye contact and walked away from her to my apartment. She was clearly panicking though.
Always wondered what I should've done different. I feel like if I had called out to her to let her know I wasn't a r*pist that wouldn't have helped.
Nils Skirnir 1 month ago
You couldn’t have done anything different. She likely had her own bad experiences and nothing you could have done would have helped
#16
Back in high school I found out through the grapevine a girl had been saying I was a creep because I "stare at her all the time." I literally didn't know this person even existed or had ever heard their name until that moment.
#17
A new coworker (*new at the time this happened, this was like 6 years ago now*) was telling me that she would love to meet a guy like me, then asked if I wanted to see her after work that night. I told her Yes, and she was shocked and then told me that she had plans to babysit that night.
She told our boss that she didn't feel comfortable working with me anymore and that I kept asking her out, she transferred the next day, and I had to meet with my boss and my boss's boss to explain it. They'd known me for a long time and seemed to believe what I told them, but it was still an incredibly uncomfortable and honestly frightening scenario that could have easily spun out of control against me.
So not exactly the question asked, because the label didn't seem to stick, but it still really threw me off and made me really anxious for a long time.
That kind of thing freaks me out so much. That people can just create situations that could potentially cause a lot of harm over seemingly nothing.
**So, in a way, "labeled a creep for saying Yes to a woman asking me out."**.
Nils Skirnir 1 month ago
Similar happened to me long ago. Not much to do except avoid romantic relationships at work, gym, etc
#18
In a many roommates situation
My bedroom was just off the kitchen, and my computer desk was directly across from my door (Facing away.)
I'm sitting there one day with my door open, hear a noise, and when I turn around one of my roommate's friends is there in a bikini (We had a hot tub)
We make eye contact and I return to what I'm doing. No words, no lingering glances, no staring. A simple look of "Oh there's a person." without even any acknowledgment apart from seeing each other.
I find out later, that girl told all my roommates I made her uncomfortable enough to never come back by looking at her.
Now I've had people say some MEAN s**t about me, but I've genuinely never been more insulted in my life.
#19
I was eating at a restaurant when I noticed that a group of my friends were also eating at the restaurant at another table.
I gave a brief smile over because I tend to smile when people are hanging out or there’s affection taking place in front of me.
But a woman accused me for creeping on the one girl in that group of friends as if I was trying to get that girls attention.
I was a teenager. A simple smile and acknowledgement of being happy that other people are hanging out gets you labeled a creep 🤷🏻♂️.
Vincent Philippart 1 month ago
The funny thing is, she was the creep observing in detail the behaviour of a teenage boy she didn't know.
#20
I smiled and waved at a toddler (who waved at me) in target, the toddler was immediately scooped up and the the mom mumbled "what a creep", for context I'm a father of two an had diapers and a paw patrol player in my cart.
Lost Panda 1 month ago
I have 4 kids, so anytime a tot or small child smiles/waves/stares I wave/smile or what not so that they don't cry because of scary man (Think Tommy Lee Jones' constant expression, and that's me). The reactions some parents have is insane. Sorry I'm a foreign dad that doesn't like kids crying I guess... XD
#21
I took my younger brother to a trampoline park (I’m in my 20s and he’s 8). He accidentally jumped near one of the younger kids and they started crying. This kids mother was nowhere near him and I went over to ask if he needed any help, if he was ok and where his parents / guardian was. He was very distraught and didn’t answer but when his mom finally did show up, she gave me this look that just screamed “get away from my child” and snapped at me saying “I can handle it.” Mind you she didn’t show up for at least a minute while this kid was screaming and I was trying to find who this kids guardian was.
I totally understand stranger danger as a young child and being careful, and I know parents can be protective of their children. However, I was leaning down next to him with my younger brother with me making sure he was ok. If I was a woman, this probably would have gone differently. It is what it is I guess.
#22
When I was around 23-24 I used to play/teach kids how to play basketball at a local park. Kids middle school aged. Some boys (as a joke) started saying I was a p*do.
I stopped playing with those kids shortly after. I honestly have avoided playing basketball near kids at a park ever since.
My wife thinks I’m being ridiculous because it’s been around 8yrs since then, but I’m honestly still scared. I avoid kids all together other than my nephews these days.
Lost Panda 1 month ago
No, not ridiculous because all it takes is one person to make a joke around the wrong person and BOOM damage done
#23
When I was in high school at a fair I had a middle school girl "hit" on me and ask me out, my simple response was "you're too young to date and I'm too old for you." An older lady at the fair tapped me on the shoulder to tell me I'm a creep for talking to a young girl.
Rayne OfSalt 1 month ago
Shoulda told her she was a creep for touching and talking to a young boy.
#24
I got called out as a creep because I walked with my dog near a kindergarten, I was just out walking with the dog and the kids ran to the gate (they couldn't get out to me and the dog) and wanted to pet my dog through the fence, my dog loves kids so I let them, after a few minutes one of the teachers or what they are called came and told the kids to get away and told me that it was inappropriate and creepish behavior.
Since then I never go near kids or kindergartens.
Nils Skirnir 1 month ago
I moved to a new area a few years ago. I was training for a marathon and my course went by a primary/middle school. About the fourth time I ran past the school cops chased me down and questioned me. Evidently a parent got suspicious. I changed my route and avoid kids, teenagers, and mothers. Won’t look at them, talk to them, smile at them, or even wave. Unless they’re family.
Robert T 1 month ago
This is the first one where I have to say that it was probably best avoided. Too many stories of kids being lured by someone with a dog. That said, when I was walking a friend's dog in the park, I'd let kids come and pet the dog, as she was a lovely old girl who woudn't harm a fly. Nobody seemed to think I was creepy.
QueerAxolotls 1 month ago
To be fair; my old elementary school was in a neighborhood and people walked by a lot, and we weren't allowed near the fence because of it. Why? Apparently someone (a woman) did that and then f-ing PEPPER SPRAYED the kid and ran.
Bookworm 1 month ago
Seems like the school should have done something more useful than 'make a large chunk of the property effectively useless because of one nutcase.'
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BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I walk with my dog and go by a preschool. My dog is super cute and loves kids too. But I don't stop even when the kids ask. I usually just turn to the kids and say something like "sorry guys, we're in a hurry". Sorry, but as a guy you have to realize that there are spaces where we are not welcome, and often there are historically f*cked up reasons for that. So we need to accept it and move on.
Becca not Becky 1 month ago
Unfortunately there are several documented cases of creeps using their dogs as a rouse to get kids to lower their guard.
Momo ONeil 1 month ago
I don't think OP was acting like a creep. But some very creepy people do very gross and not ok things around schools sometimes. I feel like, if we need to change our behavior a bit even though we're good people, that's the price we pay to protect kids from being creeped on by the bad ones.
Fellfromthemoon 1 month ago
It was mildly inappropriate but not in a predatory way. You trusted kindergarteners, very young kids to pet a strange dog w/o parental permission. You never know, which child has an allergy to fur; moreover, kids sometimes can act wildly, startling or causing pain to the dog that potentially leads to accidents.
Bored Seagull 1 month ago
It's not the OPs responsibility to protect kids from triggering allergies the OP doesn't know of. That's the responsibility of the kindergardeners, who are tasked by the kids' parents to look after them. It's reasonable that the kindergardeners don't want the kids to pet unknown dogs, but there is no reason to be an a*s about that and call people creeps. Just talking to the dog owner and calmly stating why they don't want the kids to pet the dog goes a long way.
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#25
I worked in fighter jets. A girl came out to talk to the pilot during an engine running refuel and she had no business being near it, didn’t know the safety zones. She walked up and looked directly into the running engine. I know there isn’t enough pull to suck her up at idle but it can suck the pens out of her arm pen holder for sure so I ran up, grabbed her by the jacket on her shoulders and threw her behind me, she absolutely flew and fell on her face.
I saved her from wrecking a multimillion dollar engine at best, her life at worst. All because she was flirting with the f*****g pilot. How do I know? I had a 3 sided comm cord and heard the whole f*****g thing. She called me a creep for it and tried to get me in trouble.
Lost Panda 1 month ago
And she should have been served an Article 15 and lost her line badge instantly.
#26
I was about 15 at a house party I once helped an extremely drunk girl same age as me get picked up safely by her parents, only people thought I was trying to sleep with her and get her to come home with me, so they wouldn't let us leave the house together.
I had to ring her dad to come into the house to get her and I helped them out to the car.
Her friends where more concerned that they thought I was trying to sleep with her than the actual wellbeing of their friend. They where useless.
Anyway, even though the girl in question told everyone to stop and couldn't stick up for me anymore than she did, I was known as a creep for years.
It Destroyed my self confidence at the time and I didn't go out again in that manner until I was almost 20.
Heffalump 1 month ago
Tbh, I wouldn't let a drunk female friend out of the front door at a teenage party either, unless i knew and trusted the person. Her friends were being good friends: they weren't worried about "the actual wellbeing of their friend" because she wasn't at risk. She was just drunk and they could make sure she didn't get into trouble.
#27
I worked in a childcare. That was enough for some people.
I told people I was an education major.
Having a beard and wearing. Glasses.
BarfyCat 1 month ago
It's definitely hard being a male teacher sometimes. Especially when working with a student population with lots of trauma/mental health issues. Husband has had students threaten to call CPS on him for telling them to be quiet, for accidentally brushing up against a knee while walking between the rows of desks, etc. It got better when he switched from middle school to high school, surprisingly.
#28
I got banned from a fashion sub for saying someone's thigh-highs were excellent (they had a blood splotch pattern that genuinely looked sick). I asked why and the mod said, "you know why, creep" and then blocked me from contacting the mods.
People are real quick to be a******s. But also, they didn't know me at all and their bad take isn't a reflection of me in any way. Nor is it a reflection on the serious and overwhelming problems women have with creeps.
#29
I once helped a girl take off her wetsuit when I was 15. She asked since she wasnt able to fix it herself and she was freezing.
Next thing I know, around 15 girls from around 14 years old are calling me creep. I was stuck with them for a whole week being the only guy in that group, so yeah, that was a great experience at sailing camp. Did a great job to my self-esteem for the next 6 years. They treated me like c**p for the whole week while I did nothing wrong.
QueerAxolotls 1 month ago
It's weird that this camp was co-ed and didn't have private changing rooms, if they weren't wearing things under the wetsuit. Also, where were the girls who didn't offer to help?
#30
So I used to have this canvas in the back seat of my car that was designed so my dog could ride with me and not slip down on the floor and it would also wrangle her hair and help keep it from going everywhere.
I went on a date with a girl that I’d already met and when she saw the canvas in the back of my car she refused to get in because she thought I was trying to m*rder her and use that to wrap up her body.
I just said “Okay, sorry for making you feel that way, I assure you I wasn’t ever going to try and m*rder you.” and then I never pursued her romantically again.
What do you think ?
Another Panda 1 month ago (edited)
We hear a lot about misogyny and discrimination against women, but far too little about the abuse men deal with from women, and the absolute discrimination they face. Thank you for sharing this, BP.
n75mk9nk2n 1 month ago
And when we do hear about it, all the radical feminists and toxic males turn on you and say 'well that's because you're not a real man, so you must be the problem'. Talk about victim-blaming.
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TheDag 1 month ago
I saw a video the other day of a lady discussing a recent male suicide group that was shut down as it was accused of promoting the patriarchy. It was pretty heart breaking especially as one of the guys there wanted to talk about his two friends who committed suicide within a month of each other a couple of years ago....I thought man society sucks but surely this is an isolated case...and then I looked at the comments here and went nope people definitely suck
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I've seen people lauding the fact that the group with the highest suicide rate are middle-aged men. I got down-voted into oblivion on this very platform not too long ago by some of those people because I said "I wonder how this conversation would go if it were women killing themselves, instead of men". So yeah, people really suck. And there is a mob mentality that drives these comment sections.
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JoeKing 1 month ago (edited)
When I was 19/20 years old, I was in line at a shop buying junk food for a film night. A woman in front of me pays and walks away, as I approach the counter, she comes back and looks for her purse and sees that it isn't on the counter. Being a young male, I MUST have taken it because she accused me of taking it and opens my jacket trying to put her hand in my inside pockets. Turns out she left it in her car..
John Harrison 1 month ago (edited)
Story: Man staring off into space, absorbed in his own thoughts. Old woman scolds him for being a pervert. -- Misandrists at the bottom of this comment section: "Women act this way for a reason!" Edit: Some of the misandrist comments that I was referring to are gone now. Completely gone, without even a "This comment has been deleted". I honestly wonder if BP removed them.
Haywood Jablome 1 month ago
I want kids but it's never gonna happen. As a result, sometimes I see happy little kids go by and it makes me smile. When ever someone calls me a creep, I say "I'm sorry, my wife and 3 year old daughter died in an accident, and i was just remembering them"
Kerry Fletcher 1 month ago
Remeber dark mode? Not paying to remove it. Glad you finally found a way to get even less users.
Emery Walters 1 month ago
I was accused of 'grooming' because the used bookstore I work at gives every kid a free book. I almost laughed out loud.
lenka 1 month ago
This really does suck. As a parent of both a son and a daughter these are conversations I have to have with both of my kids. Daughter: dont go out after dark, dont talk to strange men, dont accept candy, no sleepovers, dont cycle alone, be aware of your surroundings, trust your instincts, there are predators. Son: You will be perceived as a threat. Do not touch other people, especially girls, always always get nothing less than enthusiastic consent, smile when you make eye contact, do not walk behind women etc etc. BOTH conversations are heartbreaking. Both conversations arise due to the consequences of generations of toxic masculinity. As a feminist, I push for recognition and change in perception for the benefit of MY SON as much as I do for my daughter.
n75mk9nk2n 1 month ago
Existing. Simply being a cis male is enough for people to label you a 'creep' or worse. Young-ish Straight White Males are the last group that it's perfectly OK to discriminate against, because they're the only ones that can't fight back. Young, so they can't claim ageism. Straight, so they can't claim homophobia. White, so they can't claim racism. Male, so they can't claim sexism. Well I hate to break it to you, but all those things? That's still bigotry. '
Sojourner 1 month ago
As an Asian, I beg to differ. Caucasian people view us as a model minority. Unreasonable standards.
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Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
I (37 at the time) remember a day at work when a young girl (23ish) in my department waved over to me, and when I asked why, she said "You haven't paid me any attention!" It was all joking, but it really makes things difficult when some hate attention and others crave it. It's particularly awkward on a night out when women dress in a way that they know will get attention, but only want it from certain people, and it's impossible to know whom.
François Bouzigues 1 month ago
Quite definetly an anglo saxon things for me. Only time it happened to me was in an airport in London. Was about 20 at the time. I was eating candy in the boarding queue.. A younger girl, say 14 asked me if she could have some. Obviously i obliged, i had just opened the bag. Next thing i know the security start questioning me about why i am giving candy to an underage girl. Luckily enough the girl stood for me. Never experienced anything similar in France or Spain.
Bernd Herbert 1 month ago
All of these stories scream USA to me. Guy, you have to fix your society. That is not normal
John Harrison 1 month ago
This isnt our society. These are anecdotes. Its pretty safe, as a man, to just go about your day. Extra attention is paid to incidents like these because 1. Social media amplifies drama, and 2. The Me-Too pendulum is still swinging. It will correct itself in time.
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Tele Avision 1 month ago (edited)
When I was in College, back in the early 90's, I began my 5th year Teacher's Certification course year. During that time we were split into two separate groups, male and female. The males, including myself, spent the day in a 'Boundaries and Inappropriate Interaction Seminar' and the female group had a 'Preparing Curriculum' seminar. Some the males after the seminar stated how it made them feel uncomfortable. Little did we know that the 90s and beyond would ignite the equal rights boundaries and inappropriate interaction campaign led by a slew of female teachers.
Tele Avision 1 month ago
People are People. It's just some people are not in a position to abuse power.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 1 month ago
No one likes to be mislabeled and a feature about them be used to blame, shame, or accuse them of being or doing something they aren't. This hurts everyone.
Philly Bob 1 month ago (edited)
Try being in a club and noticing a girl drop her money on the floor under a table. I go to tap her on the shoulder (karaoke... it was loud) to tell her she dropped her money when one of her friends started screming at me "GET AWAY FROM HER! GET AWAY FROM HER!" So as the girl looked at me I pointed down at the floor and made the "you dropped someting" gesture, she realized it was all the cash she had on her. She thanked me but the other members of the giggle club never said a word.
lenka 1 month ago (edited)
I am sorry this happened to you. As a women who has walked through a club though, I cannot tell you how many times I have had my a**e and boobs grabbed and groped or men that reached out to stroke my hair. So, yes, it may seem like an overreaction on their part but the reality is that women are conditioned to be on high alert for uninvited touching and this is the status quo created by the actions of (yes, yes not all) men.
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Donna Peluda 1 month ago
I help a kid about 12yo, once find his dog. I was walking my dog and saw him crying because he'd lost his dog. His phone battery was dead It was getting dark so I suggested he called him mum on my phone. He knew the number. No one answered. About an hour later, pitch dark by now, we found his dog and I walkedhim home, about 2km out of my way. Got home and phone rings, it was the mother, I expected a thank you, nooooo. She threatened me with the police if I every went near her son again, saying things like " I know people like you" I was gobsmaked.
Shadow the Dragon King 1 month ago
I was called a creeper and pedo for being a middle schooler and asking an elementary kid where he got the cute Eevee plushie he was carrying. Kiddo eagerly responded and we spent a good 20 seconds talking about the best Eeveelutions before a random woman smacked me and loudly berated me for being a creep. I’m autistic and this made me cry, and the woman laughed in my face. The worst part was that the kid’s mom was there during the entire interaction, but she didn’t defend me and even encouraged the woman despite the fact that she had seen me stay 5 feet away from the kid until she herself said it was okay to come closer, she would defend me if something blew up. I was a 7th grader, kid was probably around 4th. Being a man sucks.
Arabiata Arabiata 1 month ago
Stupidity has no limits in the downward direction. I suppose most of these stories happen in the "land of the freedom", I feel sorry for people who have locked themselves in their own dark prison of their mind. The worst part of their "thinking" is that they are convinced that they are smart, open-minded, and open to the world.
R Dennis 1 month ago
I was at an outing to a baseball game where a customer bought us a suite. Several people got wasted, including a (married) cook making out (excessively) with a waitress. When we got back to our city, we had rented a party bus, I drove a couple people because I chose not to get obliterated. The drunk girl that was making out with the cook started hitting on me (including groping), I was disgusted. I told her I wasn't interested and "it's a good thing it's me because acting like that with a lot of guys would get you in trouble." I went back to our closed work to handle some stuff before getting home and one of the regulars that went with us showed up. Apparently, she said I made unwanted moves on her - I most definitely did not. We talked for about 10 minutes and he went on his way - we were alone in the car for all of five minutes and everyone saw her pawing at me! Anyway, the story went around my job, unbeknownst to me, for over a year.
R Dennis 1 month ago
Eventually, she was out drinking with another girl from work, and she admitted I didn't touch her or even try... the girl she told was how I found out I was rumored to be a deviant for all that time.
Load More Replies... Haywood Jablome 1 month ago
Any man of any age doing anything in the presence of any woman of any age is a predator.
DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered 1 month ago
I hope your pillow is warm on both sides. Permanently.
Load More Replies...
Another Panda 1 month ago (edited)
We hear a lot about misogyny and discrimination against women, but far too little about the abuse men deal with from women, and the absolute discrimination they face. Thank you for sharing this, BP.
n75mk9nk2n 1 month ago
And when we do hear about it, all the radical feminists and toxic males turn on you and say 'well that's because you're not a real man, so you must be the problem'. Talk about victim-blaming.
Load More Replies... TheDag 1 month ago
I saw a video the other day of a lady discussing a recent male suicide group that was shut down as it was accused of promoting the patriarchy. It was pretty heart breaking especially as one of the guys there wanted to talk about his two friends who committed suicide within a month of each other a couple of years ago....I thought man society sucks but surely this is an isolated case...and then I looked at the comments here and went nope people definitely suck
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I've seen people lauding the fact that the group with the highest suicide rate are middle-aged men. I got down-voted into oblivion on this very platform not too long ago by some of those people because I said "I wonder how this conversation would go if it were women killing themselves, instead of men". So yeah, people really suck. And there is a mob mentality that drives these comment sections.
Load More Replies... JoeKing 1 month ago (edited)
When I was 19/20 years old, I was in line at a shop buying junk food for a film night. A woman in front of me pays and walks away, as I approach the counter, she comes back and looks for her purse and sees that it isn't on the counter. Being a young male, I MUST have taken it because she accused me of taking it and opens my jacket trying to put her hand in my inside pockets. Turns out she left it in her car..
John Harrison 1 month ago (edited)
Story: Man staring off into space, absorbed in his own thoughts. Old woman scolds him for being a pervert. -- Misandrists at the bottom of this comment section: "Women act this way for a reason!" Edit: Some of the misandrist comments that I was referring to are gone now. Completely gone, without even a "This comment has been deleted". I honestly wonder if BP removed them.
Haywood Jablome 1 month ago
I want kids but it's never gonna happen. As a result, sometimes I see happy little kids go by and it makes me smile. When ever someone calls me a creep, I say "I'm sorry, my wife and 3 year old daughter died in an accident, and i was just remembering them"
Kerry Fletcher 1 month ago
Remeber dark mode? Not paying to remove it. Glad you finally found a way to get even less users.
Emery Walters 1 month ago
I was accused of 'grooming' because the used bookstore I work at gives every kid a free book. I almost laughed out loud.
lenka 1 month ago
This really does suck. As a parent of both a son and a daughter these are conversations I have to have with both of my kids. Daughter: dont go out after dark, dont talk to strange men, dont accept candy, no sleepovers, dont cycle alone, be aware of your surroundings, trust your instincts, there are predators. Son: You will be perceived as a threat. Do not touch other people, especially girls, always always get nothing less than enthusiastic consent, smile when you make eye contact, do not walk behind women etc etc. BOTH conversations are heartbreaking. Both conversations arise due to the consequences of generations of toxic masculinity. As a feminist, I push for recognition and change in perception for the benefit of MY SON as much as I do for my daughter.
n75mk9nk2n 1 month ago
Existing. Simply being a cis male is enough for people to label you a 'creep' or worse. Young-ish Straight White Males are the last group that it's perfectly OK to discriminate against, because they're the only ones that can't fight back. Young, so they can't claim ageism. Straight, so they can't claim homophobia. White, so they can't claim racism. Male, so they can't claim sexism. Well I hate to break it to you, but all those things? That's still bigotry. '
Sojourner 1 month ago
As an Asian, I beg to differ. Caucasian people view us as a model minority. Unreasonable standards.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
I (37 at the time) remember a day at work when a young girl (23ish) in my department waved over to me, and when I asked why, she said "You haven't paid me any attention!" It was all joking, but it really makes things difficult when some hate attention and others crave it. It's particularly awkward on a night out when women dress in a way that they know will get attention, but only want it from certain people, and it's impossible to know whom.
François Bouzigues 1 month ago
Quite definetly an anglo saxon things for me. Only time it happened to me was in an airport in London. Was about 20 at the time. I was eating candy in the boarding queue.. A younger girl, say 14 asked me if she could have some. Obviously i obliged, i had just opened the bag. Next thing i know the security start questioning me about why i am giving candy to an underage girl. Luckily enough the girl stood for me. Never experienced anything similar in France or Spain.
Bernd Herbert 1 month ago
All of these stories scream USA to me. Guy, you have to fix your society. That is not normal
John Harrison 1 month ago
This isnt our society. These are anecdotes. Its pretty safe, as a man, to just go about your day. Extra attention is paid to incidents like these because 1. Social media amplifies drama, and 2. The Me-Too pendulum is still swinging. It will correct itself in time.
Load More Replies... Tele Avision 1 month ago (edited)
When I was in College, back in the early 90's, I began my 5th year Teacher's Certification course year. During that time we were split into two separate groups, male and female. The males, including myself, spent the day in a 'Boundaries and Inappropriate Interaction Seminar' and the female group had a 'Preparing Curriculum' seminar. Some the males after the seminar stated how it made them feel uncomfortable. Little did we know that the 90s and beyond would ignite the equal rights boundaries and inappropriate interaction campaign led by a slew of female teachers.
Tele Avision 1 month ago
People are People. It's just some people are not in a position to abuse power.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 1 month ago
No one likes to be mislabeled and a feature about them be used to blame, shame, or accuse them of being or doing something they aren't. This hurts everyone.
Philly Bob 1 month ago (edited)
Try being in a club and noticing a girl drop her money on the floor under a table. I go to tap her on the shoulder (karaoke... it was loud) to tell her she dropped her money when one of her friends started screming at me "GET AWAY FROM HER! GET AWAY FROM HER!" So as the girl looked at me I pointed down at the floor and made the "you dropped someting" gesture, she realized it was all the cash she had on her. She thanked me but the other members of the giggle club never said a word.
lenka 1 month ago (edited)
I am sorry this happened to you. As a women who has walked through a club though, I cannot tell you how many times I have had my a**e and boobs grabbed and groped or men that reached out to stroke my hair. So, yes, it may seem like an overreaction on their part but the reality is that women are conditioned to be on high alert for uninvited touching and this is the status quo created by the actions of (yes, yes not all) men.
Load More Replies... Donna Peluda 1 month ago
I help a kid about 12yo, once find his dog. I was walking my dog and saw him crying because he'd lost his dog. His phone battery was dead It was getting dark so I suggested he called him mum on my phone. He knew the number. No one answered. About an hour later, pitch dark by now, we found his dog and I walkedhim home, about 2km out of my way. Got home and phone rings, it was the mother, I expected a thank you, nooooo. She threatened me with the police if I every went near her son again, saying things like " I know people like you" I was gobsmaked.
Shadow the Dragon King 1 month ago
I was called a creeper and pedo for being a middle schooler and asking an elementary kid where he got the cute Eevee plushie he was carrying. Kiddo eagerly responded and we spent a good 20 seconds talking about the best Eeveelutions before a random woman smacked me and loudly berated me for being a creep. I’m autistic and this made me cry, and the woman laughed in my face. The worst part was that the kid’s mom was there during the entire interaction, but she didn’t defend me and even encouraged the woman despite the fact that she had seen me stay 5 feet away from the kid until she herself said it was okay to come closer, she would defend me if something blew up. I was a 7th grader, kid was probably around 4th. Being a man sucks.
Arabiata Arabiata 1 month ago
Stupidity has no limits in the downward direction. I suppose most of these stories happen in the "land of the freedom", I feel sorry for people who have locked themselves in their own dark prison of their mind. The worst part of their "thinking" is that they are convinced that they are smart, open-minded, and open to the world.
R Dennis 1 month ago
I was at an outing to a baseball game where a customer bought us a suite. Several people got wasted, including a (married) cook making out (excessively) with a waitress. When we got back to our city, we had rented a party bus, I drove a couple people because I chose not to get obliterated. The drunk girl that was making out with the cook started hitting on me (including groping), I was disgusted. I told her I wasn't interested and "it's a good thing it's me because acting like that with a lot of guys would get you in trouble." I went back to our closed work to handle some stuff before getting home and one of the regulars that went with us showed up. Apparently, she said I made unwanted moves on her - I most definitely did not. We talked for about 10 minutes and he went on his way - we were alone in the car for all of five minutes and everyone saw her pawing at me! Anyway, the story went around my job, unbeknownst to me, for over a year.
R Dennis 1 month ago
Eventually, she was out drinking with another girl from work, and she admitted I didn't touch her or even try... the girl she told was how I found out I was rumored to be a deviant for all that time.
Load More Replies... Haywood Jablome 1 month ago
Any man of any age doing anything in the presence of any woman of any age is a predator.
DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered 1 month ago
I hope your pillow is warm on both sides. Permanently.
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