I worked with a single guy that wanted to find an Aussie woman to marry because American women ‘gave too much lip’. I had to break it to him that an Aussie woman would kick his butt viciously and leave him crippled for even thinking like that.

Yosemite_Sam9099 , Tiff Ng Report

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“All women want is money” because I asked what he did for work. He was unemployed. Sir, we are both almost 30. We aren’t kids anymore, how are you able to make such a statement when you don’t even have a job? I don’t want your money, I want to date a grown man who isn’t looking to turn his girlfriend into his mother so he doesn’t have to do anything all day.

String_Peens , Karolina Kaboompics Report

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StrangeOne

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2 months ago

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I can see where they're both coming from. But if he's unemployed, he should be focusing on getting his s**t together and using his savings for surviving, before pursuing a relationship, or dating. In fact, someone unemployed I would be very suspicious how he's earning money to pay for a date. Unless she's paying.

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Beansie-never-visited-me-once

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How can you see where they are BOTH coming from? She asked him what he did for work! That is all! I get asked that all the time. I was asked twice today. It is one of the first questions that is asked when you meet someone new. She asked him this innocent question and he immediately accused her of being a gold digger! He sounds like a total k**b!

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Edith

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I agree with you, he really overstepped here. I think he took it personally - as being unemployed is probably shameful for him and to hide this - he attacked first. It's just my guess. In my opinion it is normal question. Yes answering this question would provide some general financial information - like, oh he is CEO - so he is doing very good. But this answer also would provide how smart and intelligent person is, you can ask what he studied, does he like his job, what hobbies he has, in order to find smth common to share..

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Mir Adwari

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Certainly when you are dating someone it's a fairly relevant question. Though, interestingly the 'what do you do for work' as a get to know you question is rather country specific (not sure how many countries). This link below explores it a little. I can't actually remember ever being asked the question... my job might come up as a subject, but I would volunteer the information if it was relevant. Though, on a personal level, I'd also not be offended at being asked (as is described by some in the link). https://interculturalmeanderings.wordpress.com/tag/why-do-americans-ask-what-work-or-job-you-do/

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BeesEelsAndPups

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Were I to be unemployed, it would be the only thing I could think about. But I am also a single father, and I've got children to house, dress, and feed. Dating is already the last thing on my mind.

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Just stopping by

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Lol savings🥲

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StrangeOne

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lol exactly.

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Mike m

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Trust fund babies are the worst.

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Say No to Downvoting

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Hey StangeOne, I’d love to know more about your perspective “knowing where they are both coming from” - cos I can’t reasonable rational from the guy at all. I had a friend who was a recovering alcoholic (and tbh she wasn’t doing great at “recovering” at this point) and was living off a restitution payment and welfare. She was getting really annoyed at people asking “what do you do?” and concluded everyone was materialistic and “judging” her. I tried to explain, no, they are making conversation, trying to get to know you and wondering how you spend your day. But, obviously, she was carrying her own insecurities when being confronted with the question and that’s what coloured her reaction.

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StrangeOne

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Where I'm from, if you're on welfare it's instant social suicide to admit, unless you're talking to people in similar situations or they know you very well. Even the type of job is up for scrutiny. More than a few times the question has been asked to me by people I just met. You get to know their intentions for asking pretty quickly, and the least judgmental people don't bother asking so soon after meeting you. It would come up naturally in a conversation, but not point blank. If someone has had enough bad experiences with the question, it's going to make them be defensive whenever asked what they do and how much they make. Actually, asking about someone's income is taboo, too. A lot of people get in between jobs. We all gotta start somewhere. Doesn't mean he's undeserving to find love. But I can understand where the OP is coming from because she's just watching out for herself. Perhaps she has been in a relationship where she was expected to work and support a lazy man.

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DC and S

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Big difference between "what do you do for work?" and "how much money do you make?" In some parts of the world, what do you do for a living is a basic get to know you question, one of the first asked. It's not a judgement question but rather a question to get someone to talk about themselves and their passions, life goals, etc. So this is most likely rude or not depending on where you are from.

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StrangeOne

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I agree, it can go both ways. I would've liked to know how the OP responded more. We do know it's important for her to make sure she is with a self-reliant, self-sustaining man, and that is, of course, reasonable. He sounds highly insecure with himself in his situation, either way. He could have had some bad moments with being asked that question on dates. We don't have any other information regarding how long he's been unemployed, how many women he's met and how they have asked the question and responded. Did he ask OP what she does for a living? Assuming he knows she works, the type of job she has and ballpark what her income bracket is. Obviously, she can take care of herself and if she were looking for money she wouldn't be on a date with someone unemployed. I'm not saying she's in the wrong, at all. I know she's just looking out for herself.

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Mike m

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Asking sometimes occupation is normal during the dating experience.

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BeesEelsAndPups

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I also just wanted to add that the fact that you can see both sides is a rare virtue. Nuance is the greatest super-power with which a person can be endowed. Thank you for cultivating it.

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Beansie-never-visited-me-once

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I would normally agree but she simply asked him what he did for work which is a common question asked all the time. He accused her of being a gold digger! There is no nuance here.

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StrangeOne

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It's considered rude depending on how it's asked where I'm from. It's not a usual question, and when it is asked it is teeming with scrutiny. We don't have any other details of the conversation prior to the question. No one mentioned "gold digger", which is defined as someone who is looking for someone very rich, and not someone who works for average pay, regardless of employment. I simply meant he could have had bad experiences, employed or unemployed, when asked what he does for a living. I also stated that I do see where the OP is coming from, too, and that I do understand she is just looking out for herself.

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BeesEelsAndPups

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It's considered a very rude question where I live

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StrangeOne

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Thank you. That's very kind of you to say. Some other people have a very skewed version of my comment.

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dremetrius

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Do tell, where is the nuance in "all women want is money"?

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BoredBranzino

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No, casually asking what kind of work you do is just small talk for a first date, and gives you follow up questions that have nothing to do with prying into one’s salary.

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Adam Belaire

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That was my thought. What do you do? That sounds interested. What kind of ___ do you ____

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ConstantlyJon

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What do you do for work is about the most regular-a*s question anyone might ask a person at any time, let alone a date. What a stupid assumption to make.

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Carrie Laughs

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It's one that it a common opener in the US (not a criticism of that). Other cultures, not so much. Not outside of dating. In some countries it would be considered nosy. 🤷 I can't remember the last time I was asked about my job... if ever. I met my spouse while still studying so it didn't come up while dating. Friends I've met outside of work... it has gradually come up but it's not the first thing we got to know each other over.

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ConstantlyJon

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That's a good point. Thanks for challenging my limited perspective.

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tori Ohno

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How do you go out on a date if you don't have a job so you can pay your way? Oh, that's right, it's called projection.

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Miki

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This is a pretty standard question when you meet a new person. Also being unemployed is a red flag. OK. But you may want to ask why etc.

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Celtic Pirate Queen

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Thankfully, I only had 5 online matched dates before I met my husband. I met one guy at my local. I was early, so I ordered a glass of wine. He showed up 15 minutes late. Ok, whatever. We start chatting & I asked him what kind of work was in? JFC - he very snarkily said, "Why, so you can figure out how much money I make? Maybe I should just show you my bank balance". I stood up and threw a five on the table for my wine, then said, "Buddy, you are a socially inept @sshole and you won't be showing me ANYTHING". And walked out. I waited for him to leave and went back in. Kelly was behind the bar and she pulled my almost full wine glass out. She was like, "Jesus, I hope you meet someone decent sometime soon".

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Celtic Pirate Queen

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OMG - one of my first online dates. He was a pr*ck from the get. I got there early at MY local, and ordered a glass of wine. So, he comes in and sits at my table. We start the whole "what do you do chat" and this @sshole says "Why? Are you trying to figure out my income. Maybe I should just show you my bank statement". Yes, seriously. I just stood up, threw a fiver in his face and walked out. Now, I was friends with the owners, one of which was behind the bar, so I waited for Mr. C*nt a*s to leave and went back in.

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Tabitha Redente

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Hence the end of my first marriage

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Jill Jones

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Damn straight

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Linda Riebel

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SOMEONE SEND A LIST OF THESE ASSBROS' COMMENTS TO A DEMOCRATIC FUNDRAISER. Great campaign content.

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Maybe not the dumbest thing he's said but it's the most consistent.

My brother, literally anytime a woman is mad or even just annoyed with him: "Aww did your period just start?"

I'm convinced my brother will die a virgin. It's better for humanity that way. My husband worked with someone who knows my brother and she told him that my brother's attitude and behavior towards her and her friends is the reason she's a lesbian.

McSmashley , nd3000 Report

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Seems 18-25 year old lads talking about Andrew Tate and wondering why girls can't stand them.

lordadriancrossofsea , Anything Goes With James English Report

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Friend dated a guy who took her cat to the shelter as a stray. The cat was chipped and they called her to pick it up. She couldn't figure out how the cat got out and the boyfriend claimed he didn't know.

It happened a second time, and she had the cameras checked for the person dropping the cat off. She called him on it and he denied it.

She broke up with him, but I always joke that she drove him to the shelter instead.

Ristar87 , Mia X Report

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I occasionally get migraines, and one of my coworkers asked me how my husband feels about me having migraines. Which I thought was a weird question but I replied along the lines of "he feels bad that he can't do anything to help me when I have one."

Coworker then says, "No, I mean, because like I couldn't deal being with a woman that had an illness or something like that, I'm too high energy for that, I wouldn't be able to be with her."

I said, so you think that my husband would want to leave me because I get migraines? He said yeah. I said, so if you were married and your wife got sick with something like cancer or some other disease, you'd leave her? He said yeah I didn't sign up for all of that.

I politely told him to never get married with that attitude, people can't help that they're sick. Damn.

90sMusicRules , George Milton Report

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"It's for me okay to beat woman, I mean sometimes they really deserve it" I was like RUN. RUN as fast as you can to myself hahah.

Significant_Road5744 , Luis Quintero Report

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"I only want to sleep with under 21s because I want to feel firm flesh"

Said by a 30 year old involuntary celibate to a room full of 30 year old women.

bubberoff , Polina Zimmerman Report

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"Women don't know what they want. That's why they need a confident man to tell them what they want."


Interesting. Seems to me like it takes an adverage of 2 weeks for women to deside they don't want you.

SadPandaFromHell , nappy Report

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When I hear men, usually straight and Caucasian (but not always) espousing the red pill nonsense, it makes me cringe.

I wish they could understand that they are being told what they want to hear, where they are the victims of some grand conspiracy… when really what they’re experiencing is not being handed the world like they were promised.

I have / had a friend that went hardcore right wing / Alex Jones during the pandemic and never returned. We went out drinking a couple times and it just became too awkward for us to maintain a friendship. He was also dating a girlfriend of mine, who dumped him slightly before he went fully insane, and likely contributed to him falling into the void.

The red pill guys just don’t understand the irony of their prerogative: I.e they are mad that they are being forced into a lifestyle and culture they don’t agree with and painted as “the bad guys”, when literally every single one of their policy objectives seeks to subjugate every racial, gender and sexual minority lol.

They suddenly think that vaccines are a communist conspiracy, and political correctness is brainwashing, while simultaneously legislating what women and trans people can do with their own bodies, and policing what literature and education is acceptable. They want freedom of speech while also being terrified of people learning anything that contradicts their version of reality.

In short, the red pill guys who identify as incels should maybe realize that maybe they’re single because their political and philosophical stance fundamentally sees women as beneath them; objects owed to them; incubators; stupid; vapid; weak; etc.

You can’t complain about being single and nobody wanting to f**k you when you are supporting convicted r*pists and conmen for public office and in media..

josiahpapaya , Sora Shimazaki Report

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“I want a wife who is powerful and accomplished and has money but who will defer to me as the head of the household in accordance to Gods Will.”

I s**t you not.

PuzzleheadedHorse437 , Alberto Bobbera Report

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A friend of a friend who used to hang out with my roommates. Bigger guy, didn't really take care of himself, didn't do anything except get high and play GTA V. "Women these days won't date anyone unless they make six figures." Yeah dude, that's definitely the problem for you. Has nothing to do with the lack of hygiene.

Judge_Bredd3 , Samuel Regan-Asante Report

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"I don't need to shower daily, my natural musk attracts the ladies." Spoiler: it doesn't.

DangerousBugInMe , Majestic Lukas Report

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Honestly, just any person seething with hatred for the opposite sex. How on earth do you expect to date someone you see as worthless? This goes for both "women shouldn't speak, only cook, clean and birth my offspring" men and "all men are sexist pigs that don't deserve any respect" women.

VVolfshade , Vera Arsic Report

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A guy at work got ghosted by his girlfriend. She completely cut him off. I felt bad for him until I spent more time around him. He started saying things like “hey, you’re a sandwich maker and dishwasher rolled into one.” Another time he said “I bet you can’t wait to go be someone’s wife so you can take care of the kids.” That girl ran for the hills and I’m proud of her.

Meatsweetsonmygrill , cottonbro studio Report

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Coworker had a short relationship and breakup and was obviously depressed about it, so I engaged and asked about it.

His comment was "I just don't understand how to make women feel like I believe that their opinion matters, when they always have such stupid life views".

I was hoping it was just a weird way of saying he's struggling to treat women equally so I asked him to talk about it a bit. Didn't misunderstand-- to him, mens' views are obviously superior and it's all about simply pretending that women matter, and he was struggling hard to do that.

tacoeater1234 , Diva Plavalaguna Report

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Oh my god, okay. There was a LOT that got said over 2 dinner dates and an afternoon walk, but the real tipping point was this:

At an hour-ish dinner, he arrived late, demonstrated how to use Find My for your AirPods for 10 minutes, talked about *and demonstrated* how bright his bike light is for 15 minutes, embarrassed the waitress with extended conversation, and *mansplained my own highly-specific job to me* for another 10. 

When something he said presented this side topic, I wrestled away control for 5 minutes to tell him about the DB Cooper air hijacking. He immediately changed the subject as soon as I was done. 

As he walked me home, he said:

“Empathy is all about considering what the other people around you want. When you wasted time at dinner telling that airplane story, you clearly didn’t think about whether or not I would find it interesting, and I had stuff I wanted to talk about. No wonder people don’t think you’re empathetic.” .

moreofajordan , Natalie Bond Report

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"Women already have too many rights in this country, it's what is causing all these problems." - I just stared at them.

NoCalWidow , cottonbro studio Report

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We had a friend in high school say to us that a good woman was like a cat: "you can ignore them as much as you want, do what you want with them when you feel like it, and if they start crying for attention you won't feel bad kicking them."

Now he's a middle-aged never-been-married father of multiple kids he is not allowed to see. Never would have guessed!

Lopsided_Leading8621 , Kobe - Report

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"It's hard for me to find a girlfriend my age because I want them to be a virgin, so I HAVE TO go for younger girls".

And when I asked him why he wanted them to be a virgin he said "because I find them disgusting when they've had a p*nis in them idk".

generaltitsweat , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Any variation of that stupid quote “if they can’t handle me at my worst, they don’t deserve me at my best.”

swarleyscoffee , Nicola Barts Report

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"She's too fat" a short balding friend says about a healthy weight women who is out of his league.

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“You know how women like it when you show ‘em who’s boss?”.

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I was at a party where a man had been invited specifically to meet a woman who would be there - it was a set up, in other words. He asked her to play pool, a very innocent and pleasant way to get to know someone, right? Well he immediately started to dominate the game and he held NOTHING back, including taunting her when she made bad shots (and just criticizing everything she did in general). Of course he won and rubbed it in her face like he was a 12 year old (Think - IN YOUR FACE, LOSER!!!!). And these people were in their 30's. It was straight out of a sitcom or something. Everyone who saw it knew why he was (and would remain) single.

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Friend of mine struggles with anxiety and just generally doesn't handle social situations well, so struggled with women for many years. Finally got talking to a girl on a dating app and asked her out - he was taking her to lunch for the afternoon, and asked if my wife and I would meet them afterwards for drinks.


When we met them for drinks, it turns out they grabbed McDonald's and drove around town to places from Craigslist so he could buy Magic The Gathering cards. He wore sweatpants and flipflops (it was winter and snowy.) He spent most of our time angrily ranting about how an upcoming minimum wage increase was going to kill the economy and close businesses. He makes minimum wage.


He never saw her again.

gdawg99 , Wayne Low Report

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He brought his mom on our first date and asked her to order for both of us.

Dense-Antelope-5472 , Jay Wennington Report

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"Women don't ever know what they want so why does their opinion matter? Have you ever been shopping with one or asked them where they want to eat?"



My first thought was, wow you're going to die alone or married to a woman that stuck around just to punish you.

Ambiguity_Aspect , Jack Sparrow Report

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I was on a first date and the guy was going on and on about some boys trip he just took with a few college buddies.

Then he said "and my friend, Rob, was like 'wait until these b**ches figure out we're not choking them because they like it!' hahaha!"

Like dude, you're telling me you hate women (or your friend does, and it amuses you) on our first date.

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I was on one of these forums and a guy suggested that I do OnlyFans since my career is unsuccessful. I Googled his name and the first thing to pop up was a news story on him falsely accusing his girlfriend of bringing a bomb onto an aircraft. He was sentenced to 2 years of prison.

Yann-LeCun , charlesdeluvio Report

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Quote from a bloke I used to work with...
"You'll never find me washing the dishes. That's women's work."

geth1962 , Kampus Production Report

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Its hard to point to one particular thing but this ex co worker basically blamed every sickness, every societal ill, every wrong our world has on “Eve corrupting Adam with her stupidity and snakelike charms”. Dude would also complain how every girl he (forcibly) asked out would stand him up and ghost him. If he was still a co worker i can guarantee you he would label himself an “alpha”.

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Pretty sure this was a first date, but the dude kept talking about military dictatorships and empires FOR ONE WHOLE HOUR. I’m not joking I don’t think I heard her open her mouth once except to pay the bill and this dude WAS LOUD. Highlights include: praising fascist dictatorships and getting a little too into the Portuguese caste system, she was black, he was white.

I wanted to write run on a napkin to her.

ratribenki Report

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20yo guy receiving pocket money from his mother just went: "Women are just broke, depending on us to go on a date" (I was going to pay my half of the bill).

AlinaKiss , cottonbro studio Report

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They start their sentence with “females”.

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A guy I was taking to said if a man can overpower a woman it’s fair game. I don’t know if he really thought that or if he was just pulling people’s chains.

gitarzan , Alex Green Report

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