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Even the brightest of us are not immune to doing dumb things. Call it a brain fart, a fog in the decision-making department, a moment of irrational impulse, or a ‘whatever happens, happens’-type of mindset where for a fraction of second, everything kinda makes sense, even the things that normally don’t.
So when someone asked “What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for absolutely no reason?” unbeknownst to them, Pandora's box of some entertaining stories was opened. Think of putting gum in your eye just because your dad told not to do that at whatever cost, or opening the door of a moving car just because you wondered what it’d feel like.
Basically, below is one hell of a ride, both hilarious and very relatable. Psst! After you’re done, be sure to check out our previous post on the dumbest things that pretty smart people have done.
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#1
Someone asked me what time it was and I lifted and rotated my wrist so I could look at my watch. I was holding an iced tea and just poured the whole thing into my lap.
I wasn’t wearing a watch.
I didn’t even own a watch. Never have.
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#2
I jumped up and (successfully) bit the string that is used to pull the attic door down. It had a metal bead on it... Immediately after I remember thinking “holy s**t I actually got it in my mouth and broke the string”. Then I realized the string was still there, but half my front tooth wasn’t.
As the best man at my wedding said “the attic string went fishing for idiots and caught one”
#3
I chopped an aerosol paint can in half with an axe. I was far old enough to know better but my cousin and I thought we had it worked out. My mom always said, “One kid, one brain; two kids, no brains.” Boy was she right. I was yellow for a week.
#4
Maybe not the dumbest but a recent one on my mind. I was in my office with the door closed. Got up from my desk to walk out and knocked on the door before opening it and walking into the hallway.
#5
Went to a coffee shop and ordered a large cup of coffee. Barista hands it to me and I put it into my purse with no lid.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
Well, it may have damaged the purse, but at least you didn't spill it on yourself?
#6
We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said “get rid of this”. So I opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway.
That was over ten years ago, I still get s**t for it.
#7
You know those old cigarette lighters in cars? Nobody in my immediate family smokes, and when I was younger, I pressed it in and it popped out.
I pulled it out to inspect - it was just grey coils - it didn't look red hot or anything. So I tested that sucker the best way I knew how. I stuck it to my tongue.
#8
During a traffic stop, while trying to act casual, I handed a police officer $50 instead of the licence he asked for.
#9
When I was a kid I went into my parents bathroom. I found my dad’s razor and I decided to scrape it against my tongue, my whole tongue. I started screaming in pain immediately after.
#10
I once told my roommate I was going out of town, but really hid under his bed for 5 hours so I could freak him out that night.
#11
Yesterday I was using a nail gun on the trim around the windows of my house. Being the idiot that I am I decided to see what would happen if I shot a penny. The nail ricocheted off the penny, shot past my head, and ended up in the fridge behind me. Close call.
#12
Microwaved a pen for two minutes in the workplace microwave. To this day I do not know why I did that. Update: I'm still at the same job. The pen was a Frixion Pilot. When the ink smoke cleared and my senses came back to me, I quickly ran across the street to Lowe's and bought the same exact microwave to replace it with. I was never caught.
#13
When I was a wee boy I woke up early before everyone, went down to the kitchen, grabbed a chair, brought it to the fridge and took the small metal pencil sharpener from the top. I decided to sharpen my pinky first thing in the morning so I can have a sharp finger?? Ended up waking the parents up and bleeding profusely.
#14
I put my finger into a handheld blender and turned it on to see if I could stop the blades from spinning.
I couldn't, and it chewed up my finger. I was 21
#15
I stuck my head in the opening of the back of our dining room chairs. My head was stuck for almost an hour as my grandad tried to butter me up to get my head out.
I also did the same thing with our stairs banister. Needless to say, I was a stupid child.
WildHoneyPie 3 years ago
Remember the Leave it to Beaver where Beaver does that with a fence at the park? My Mom and sisters and I were sitting around the kitchen table one time talking about that episode. We didn't realize that my young nephew must have been listening until he stuck his head through the spindles of a captain's chair. Sure enough, he couldn't pull it back out. The bad thing was that we were laughing so hard none of us made a move to help him for awhile. Exquisite timing!
#16
When i was about 8, i was walking out of school, i picked up some pink fairy floss (cotton candy) off the ground and put it in my mouth. It was insulation.
#17
Sometimes I blow on my ice cream before I take a bite. Have no idea why.
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
That's not dumb, that's a normal brain thing. Brain is like "this is very temperature, better blow on it"
#19
I tried to put out a candle by covering it with a Kleenex.
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
And when the Kleenex started burning you used some gasoline to put it out.
#20
Wondered what would happen if I pedalled the bicycle as fast as I could and then brake it as hard as I could.
P/s: I hit my crotch at the middle of the handlebar and also flew a couple of meters onto asphalt.
#21
I have an amazing ability to pick up almost any bug carefully and efficiently without hurting them, so when I first discovered this when I was about 5 or 6, I went and collected 44 ants, got some dirt, and made my own ant colony. in my room... under my bed...
#22
I once picked a guys pocket and put it back just to see if I could do it without getting caught. I didn't get caught. It was the single dumbest thing I've ever done in my life considering how bad it could have gone if I had gotten caught.
Downunderdude 3 years ago
My God! I have just had a flashback! My mum and dad stopped to ask for directions. I was in the back seat. While the guy was giving the directions, standing side-on to the car and pointing at the map, I reached in his pocket and took out his wallet. We drove on and I told my parents. Natch, they were horrified. They turned around and went back and found the man still walking along the street. That would have been embarrassing conversation! I must have been about 6 at the time (I'm 64 now) and as I say, this item just gave me bang! a flashback. Sorry, man. Sorry, mum and dad.
#23
Anyone else jump down a flight of stairs because you thought you could make it? I was 4.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
My sense of self preservation + a fear of heights has prevented me from trying...so far.
Beta 3 years ago
I actually did make it lol although i was probably older than you
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Yes. And I did it. My brother on the other hand, though, dislocated his left knee
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
My brother and I used to tie karate belts together, tie one end to my waist, and lower me down from the bannister to the base of the stairs. It worked for a long time, but we stopped when one day we heard our mom coming inside and in shock my brother dropped me from halfway up XD. I was perfectly fine, I've survived greater falls, but it stopped us from ever doing that again. (I was around 6, he was 10)
Jess Thompson 3 years ago
I apparently enjoyed summersaulting down the stairs even though I kept getting hurt. Genius 🤦🏾♀️
Léandre Merceron 3 years ago
This is how my husband, age 29 at the time, in the middle of a laser game, broke his heel and ended up 4 months on a wheelchair! Don't do it ^^
Karen Grace 3 years ago
Nope, but I fell down a flight once while carrying my baby brother down to my mother. My older sister had been playing Jax on the stairs and didn't pick them up. They were made of metal and when my mom found me at the bottom of the steps one was embedded in my head.
Samantha Prendergast 3 years ago
I thought I could fly after I watched Peter Pan... Totally fine, no broken bones but I never tried it again.
Julia Larsson 3 years ago (edited)
Nope, but I fell down them once while sleepwalking, 0/10 would not recommend
That_One_Harry_Potter_Nerd 3 years ago
Me and my siblings would pile blankets and pillows on the landing at the bottom of the stairs, then jump off the stairs. Tried it from the top step a few times, and didn’t break anything.
Anke Dieken 3 years ago
My parents have a stair that goes around two corners. First three steps, than a platform, you turn right, take some more steps (around seven or eight?), enter a platform, turn right and then take the rest of the steps. When my brother was a teen, he used to jump the stairs down in three steps. Plarform, platform, ground floor.
All's Gravy 3 years ago
I was younger (barely walking/nappies) than that and In the middle of the night I used to stand at the top, close my eyes, and wait, and wait, and wait and eventually I would open my eyes and I'd be at the bottom of the stairs. I would knowingly/adamantly refuse to walk down the stairs. And I was so upset when I couldn't make this (unexplained phenomenon) happen anymore.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
For my kids it's a challenge. And they're both very competitive.
Not Proud British 3 years ago
No but we did used to 'glide' down them on cushions when we were in our 20s. I had brought a first date back to a friends house when we all decided this was a good idea. Needless to say my date disappeared into the night as we tried to break our bones on the stairs....
Edward Monks 3 years ago
My grandad had a boat on the Thames, I was with my dad and spotted him and a his friends, so we got on the boat, thought id Surprise the guests in the lower cabin, jumped down the metal stairs, slipped over, fell back and cracked the back of my head open on the steps. My dads white t shirt was fully red by the time he got me to hospital.
Alyson Alegre 3 years ago
I did this. We had a wall about 5 feet or less from the bottom stairs; one day I was running down super fast and did the highest jump from the stairs….I was going too fast…..I ended up hitting the wall with my whole body but mostly my forehead. As soon as my head had hit the wall a saw the brightest flash of green and then I just collapsed down. I must have been 10 or 11. If I was a cartoon, I would have left a hole shaped like my body as I ran through the wall. Real life doesn’t work like that, lol!
Laugh or not 3 years ago
I used to try to jump from higher and higher : two steps, easy; three steps, easy; four, five... Got to a point when the landing rattled my vertebrae. I stopped there and went back to two steps.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Lol I have a scar on the back of my head from doing exactly that, a Superman pose down the whole flight, flipped over and cracked my head on the doorstep and 4 stitches.
BiLal Asif 3 years ago
never jumped but once i slipped from stairs due to running on them right after taking a shower while i was still in a towel. i almost broke my spine
Rei 3 years ago
I know a lady who bargained with God to help her to land safely during the exact same experiment around the same age, otherwise she wouldn't know He existed. He kept her safe and she landed her jump from top to bottom of the stairs without injury, but then a voice told her: "My child, you will never ever do that again!" And she didn't.
Kat 3 years ago
We did that often! The landing was very small, so not only did you have to jump from high, you couldn't jump far or you would smack against the opposite wall. I could jump better, so my brother tried a classic cartoon sabotage: thumbtacks. My mom was not to happy pulling them out my feet
#24
Was a backseat passenger in my friend's car and decided to open the door and just kind of roll out while driving down the street.
#25
When I was 10 I saw this cool magic trick where you soaked a dollar bill in rubbing alcohol and the alcohol burns off and your dollar bill stays intact so stupid 10 year old me was home alone one day when my mom left me $20 to order food with I ended up soaking it in rubbing alcohol and burning it causing it to disintegrate into ash immediately.
#26
When I was little I threw my ballet shoes into a toilet I had just peed in. I have no idea why. I then ran to my mom who couldn't decipher through my hysterical crying what was going on. To this day I still have no idea why I did it, but I remember feeling that I had to do it.
#27
When I was 5 I wanted to see if pepper made you sneeze like in the cartoons so I shoved a black peppercorn up there. Burned like hell.
#28
I stuck my hand in a bowl of soup simply because I hadn’t before.
#29
When I was about 7 or 8 I decided to hold my breath as long as I could ... with milk in my mouth while staring absentmindedly out the window. Naturally I spit the milk all over said window when I lost my breath. I don’t know what I learned. I don’t know what I gained from doing this. I don’t know my motivation. I laugh when I remember it because... what the f**k was even happening in my mind. If anyone is wondering - my aunt saw the milk explosion happen and was like “why did you do that?!!!!” I don’t even know what I said. I just cleaned it up.
#30
Me and my brothers would tie ropes to each other and run in opposite directions. Did it to trees too. I tried to bungee jump from a tree with just a regular old rope, that one hurt pretty bad.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
This is really dark, but I had a friend who once tried to commit suicide with a rope in a tree. The rope was too long. She jumped and wound up on the ground. Fortunately, she figured if she couldn't even kill herself correctly, she probably shouldn't be making life or death decisions. She got herself the help she needed.
#31
4th grade. The teacher asked a math question. I immediately raised my hand and shouted "poop". No idea why I did this but I was sent to detention for a week.
#32
I threw a plastic bottle at a ceiling fan. It ricocheted back, right on my forehead.
#33
My father had a glass cutter that consisted of a diamond embedded in the tip of a metal rod. I decided to witness it’s amazing cutting power exhibited in cartoons, so I tried to cut a circle in our garage door window glass. The scar still rests in the glass 36 years later.
#34
So packing up the car and just completely forget to grab the last suitcase and put it in the car, it was apparently just sitting on the sidewalk for the 2 days I was gone
#36
Sprayed hair spray onto a lamp while it was on. The bulb shattered and when my parents asked what happened I said I had no idea
#37
Took some scissors while I was at my moms friends house and looked to see how hard i'd need to press to cut a lamps wire to cut it off while the lamp was still on. Didn't need to press that hard.
#38
I took a bite out of a bar of soap.
Sergy Yeltsen 3 years ago
I can sorta understand this one. Some of them smell delicious. And ones from places like Lush are supposedly edible (but they don't recommend you do it!)
#39
Put on my shoes then get into bed.
#40
I put a seaweed in my purse to take home with me, because it was pink.
What do you think ?
troufaki13 3 years ago (edited)
I was walking down the street and saw a guy holding a paper cup. He looked disheveled and hungry so I decided to help and give him some money. As I was putting the coins in his cup, I heard a plopping sound. Turns out he was just holding his coffee. I was mortified and started running away. I have never given money since that day :/
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
A week or so ago I licked the clear syrupy droplets in the centre of a sunflower, I thought it would be sweet, like nectar. It wasn’t, it was bitter and stuck to my tongue. The taste wouldn’t go away, I can’t describe it.
Magda Kočičková 3 years ago
I lived next to a car park. When I was about 9, I saw an incredibly dirty car parking in front of our house. I couldn't resist the temptation and took a bucket with warm water to wash it. When I was in the middle of my action, I discovered the driver was sitting there,riveted to the spot,mortified. I played cool and walked slooowly home. Were I a weird child.
Troux 3 years ago
My work shoes (restaurant) were filthy. No, I was not cleaning them regularly. Yes, they smelled like restaurant. I figured the best way to do one good deep clean was to soak them in hot water first. They were REALLY dirty, so the water should be REALLY hot, right? I boiled my shoes, on purpose. A heavy boil, enough to completely destroy the glue holding them together. The shoes were forever gone, as was my reputation with my siblings that witnessed the experiment.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to throw a small lump of broken concrete straight upward, then look up to see where it was so I could catch it. In the dark. It hit me square in the eyeball and I had to wear a patch for the next three days.
Jill Pulcifer 3 years ago
Carton of coffee creamer in left hand, nothing in right. Go to put away coffee creamer, open fridge with right hand, turn left hand upside down. Realize my feet are getting wet, and stare at them like a moron, trying to figure out what exactly is happening. Finally, remember I had coffee creamer in my hand which is now upside down. My body is easily confused, these things happen to me alot. My husband has gotten so used to it, that he barely looks up to ask what I just accidentally threw/ dumped.
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
I have terrible eyesight, last week I was in the shower and was amazed that everything was clear, then I realized I had my glasses on. Not the first time I've done this, I am 54.
Peter Derksen 3 years ago
II threw a brick in the air when I was young, and casually walked away. Brick came down again and we were re-united once again. I drew the short straw with a concussion and stitches. I still remember it as if it were yesterday, but it’s 35 years ago.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
Trying to fake illness when I wanted a day off school at about aged 15. My Mum put a thermometer in my mouth and when her back was turned, I dipped it in my cup of tea to boost the heat to fool her I had a temperature and she'd allow me off school....it instantly shattered with a loud pop. She wasn't impressed.
V Martinez 3 years ago
My sister used to put it in her arm pit! Then back in her mouth! Eewww!
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renee brack 3 years ago
I love everyone in this post. Quirky foibles. Unexplained compulsions. Adorably absurd. Fab fun.
E 3 years ago
I packed a full pint glass of water into a box when I was moving house. Movers didn't spill a drop.
Oscar Bravo 3 years ago
When spoon feeding my baby, I'd open my own mouth to imitate, eating. As in physically saying, open wide young one. One day whilst in an ice cream parlour, with my wife, she asked to taste mine. So, I put some on my spoon and, you know, spoon feed it to her. Which is fine and nice and all, except I done the whole baby thing and opened my own mouth wide open to, indicate, she needs to open wide to eat lol.
H Edwards 3 years ago
This reminds me of when my friend was on the bus, and for once she was without her toddler son. As the bus passed a field, she turned to the woman sitting next to her and said 'look, moo-cows!'
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Edgar Rops 3 years ago
After the school year was over, my sister and I used to clean up our desks. So, when I finished 6th year, and she - 5th, we decided that we don't want some of our work to be seen by our parents, so we flushed all that and then panicked that it might block the drain. So, to be sure it wouldn't, we called a random number and asked, whether notebook paper will dissolve in the toilet. A lady on the other end patiently response that yes, it will and asked if there was anything else we'd like to know.
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
One time I filled up a Zip-lock with paint and water, sealed it up, and squeezed it....So anyway I got paint in my eye and there are still a few blue spots on the kitchen floor.
Nevits Yibble 3 years ago
I once stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green (had a lot on my mind that day). Took me a moment... WTF am I doing? Luckily there were no other cars around
Patti Vance 3 years ago
in the middle of moving into a new house my sister noticed we had the kind of mail slot that you dropped the mail in, it slid down the interior of the wall and out onto the floor by the front door. in the midst of the all the activity, she thought she would put her arm into the interior slot and wave at mom as she was coming in with another box. got her arm stuck. fire department called. black and blue arm for a week. she was 14.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
I was in sewing class age 12ish(1999), we were learning to sew elasticated waistbands. I got sick of it taking ages, tried to finish it by sewing through both pieces of elastic at once: the machine needle snapped and cut me just above my eyelid and across my eyebrow 😨 lucky it wasn't my eye! I was freaked out though, so I learned the rest if the year handsewing. I couldn't churn out projects as fast as the other kids but I was marked according to handsewing methods so it was fair. And a super handy skill that I'm glad I ended up learning, all because I thought I could take a shortcut on a sewing machine 😅
s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
I always wearglasses (neutral) while sewing so scared of the needle breaking or other possible event.
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Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Like that time when I thought I knew everything about electricity (having had a recent lesson on it at school) and could maintain the circuit of Christmas lights by removing two bulbs and joining them with tinfoil (aluminium foil for the yanks). I landed on the couch behind me, with spiky hair.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
This whole post is just.... "Well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions." Once when I was about 8 or 9 I wondered what falling on my face would feel like because I had seen it in cartoons, so i tripped over a curb on purpose to see. Face first into concrete. Broke my nose, needed stitches in both my eyebrows, scraped up my whole face. i actually had surgery because of it. i still have scars in my eyebrows and under my nose from that. (ofc they're faded and barely visable but theyre still annoying)
K1tt3n 3 years ago
I'd like to enter a late submission! My little sister went to her friends house for a sleepover (she was maybe 10-11yrs old at the time), and after everyone had gone to sleep, she got up, walked out to their living room and set a Barbie doll on fire on their coffee table. This created a decent sized fire, smoke alarms went off, woke everyone up, firefighters showed up. Still, to this day, over a decade later, she has no idea why. Needless to say, she wasn't ever allowed to go back there for a sleepover hahaha
Lav Oravaf 3 years ago
I did the test of closing the car window and put my hand to see if it did stop... it F didn't and I hurt my hand. I could have put any objet, but nooooooo I had to put my hand ! I had to laugh... cause how dumb can someone be ?
AnnaB 3 years ago
I enjoy the ones where the dumb thing was done by an adult. You expect kids to do dumb stuff. Adults not so much.
John Baker 3 years ago
I've never considered myself on a par with Stephen Hawking or Richard Feynman, but I feel a lot smarter after reading these. ;-)
Elizabeth Kensei 3 years ago
I put a small circular lightbulb in my mouth thinking it was plastic and bit down. I was lucky enough that nothing got into my throat
PattonPawter 3 years ago
One time when I was younger I was at Great wolf lodge and I was sleeping on the top bunk, and I think the reason I did this was because I was trying to get down easier, but I jumped down from the top bunk. It hurt a lot but nothing was sprained or broken.
Kiwii Stone 3 years ago
My brother (12yo) made me a hot chocolate for my tea party but forgot to add cold water or milk. At 4yo, I drank a hot chocolate at kettle temperature
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Once grabbed a pan from the oven without the oven mitt on. Yeah. I know. No reason. Just an idiot. Woot me.
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
When I was 3 or 4 my mom was cooking something and I kept trying to touch the burner. She had to leave the room for a second and told me not to touch the burner with my finger under any circumstance. When she left, I slapped my whole hand onto that sucker and instantly started screaming. My mom was just like, "I told you" while she gave me aloe.
Leigh C. 3 years ago
I was in grade 5 and allowed to trek to the daycare on my own. My sense of time and ability to read time was very poor, and I always had trouble reading a clock. I got to daycare one day, saw the clock face on the wall and stared at it in disbelief thinking I had slept in longer than I thought and late. So late, I thought, that school was going to start in 20 minutes and staff had already left, as I didn't see anyone in the first room. (There are a couple play rooms and an auditorium, as it was in the basement of a church.) The daycare was blocks away from the school, and staff would drive us or walk us to school and back. Thinking they left without me I left my winter clothing on and quickly ran to school. When I got to the school, there was hardly anyone there. I started crying, confused as to what was going on. A teacher was coming up and asked why I was there so early. It was 8:00 am by then and school started at 8:45 am. I got in heck from the daycare staff. Dyscalculia it is.
lunar eclipse 3 years ago
Played indoor cricket in my parents room as a kid. Smashed a tubelight:D
Aski Markup 3 years ago
It's like the terminator said in Terminator 2, it's in our nature to destroy ourselves... 🙄
Missus Magoo 3 years ago
I once ironed the thick jumper I was wearing as it had a large crease around the the bottom area, not only that I pressed the steam button at the same time. I suffered an extremely painful burn at the top of my leg, not only that about 15 years later my son did the same thing. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Justy 3 years ago
I've done plenty of dumb things, including putting my hand on a hot burner for no reason, riding my bicycle really fast and then jumping off, also this one time I when I was little, we just got home from store, I was asked to shut the van door, family was already all in the house. I tried to shut it, but I was small, so it was hard to shut. So I decided to shut it from the back part of the van door (this was a Toyota Sienna Van I think, and it had a sliding door) well I got my thumb stuck in the van door, and me being a little kid, I pulled as hard as I could while screaming in pain. My mom was in the house and she had thought that I had shut the van door and was already in the house. She head someone screaming (me) but didn't think much of it, because the neighborhood kids always screamed all the time. But the scream kept getting more and more high pitched....and that's when she realized it was me. I was in the hospital for a few hours. But I was fine.
hydrostatic joints 3 years ago
Once we were over at my cousins' house and my brother and one of my cousins decided to mix together all of the chemicals they could find in the garage and then drink. I honestly don't know how they didn't end up killing us all.
Kiwii Stone 3 years ago
When I was 18 months old, I climbed out of my cot, went downstairs and put wood and newspaper in the fireplace. I struck a match towards me and set fire to my babygro. My family never let me live it down!
Little Wonder 3 years ago
When I visit my friend, I park alongside her driveway and every time I leave I indicate before pulling out. Into her driveway. I was hoping she'd never noticed, but she has. Much mockery.
Matthew Braim 3 years ago
When I was about 3 I screwed a screw so far up my nose, my parents had to take me to hospital to get it removed. Would do it again! (I'm 52...)
Heather Wolmarans 3 years ago
Sober me got undressed one morning and climbed into the shower. With my slippers on. Took a few minutes for the weird sensation to register. My defense? I had not yet coffee-d.
Lena Hill 3 years ago (edited)
When I was little I had this pink Disney Princess teapot (plastic), and one time I put bubble solution in it and blew into the spout. I thought giant bubbles would come out the other end. They did not, and the bubble solution went straight into my mouth. I thought I was going to die lmao.
Scotland's-Favorite-Gay 3 years ago
when i was in like 8th-grade math class, my teacher was talking about circles, and he was like "this is radius c," and I did the just do it guy flex and did my best macho voice and said "C!" in like a super gruff voice. and everyone turned to look at me and I died
L Hauber 3 years ago
Was about 3 and decided to lick a cactus. The kind with a lot of little spikes. Back then there was no going to the ER, just remember dozing in and out of sleep while my sister held my mouth open and my mom plucked those suckers out. Add that to the list my sister must keep for reasons she has never spoken to me since we were little
memyselfandI 3 years ago
I have a couple… there was the one time I was doing a headstand on a loft bed because I had seen my mom trying to do it in yoga class, I had my elbows on the mattress and my knees on the ceiling. I used to do that a lot… and then one time I fell off. Bet you didn’t see that coming. Somehow it didn’t hurt very much, I laid there for a bit in shock and then went back to bed. Didn’t do that again for a while. Then there was also the time when I blew on an oil lamp, you know the little candles with oil in them on fancy restaurant tables. I thought that eternal flames were oil lamps, so I was expecting the flame to come back. Surprise — it didn’t. I was 15 at the time.
elsieairhead 3 years ago
Shout out to all you wonderful people who like me, have walked into a lamppost (or similar) and apologised to it!
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Almost all were very funny. I laughed out loud at a few. I wanted more.
Kind Pegasus 95 3 years ago
Not me, but my brother had this toy of the Cowboy Woody from Toy Story and he peed in the toilet and threw the toy into the toilet and flushed it… R.I.P. Woody
troufaki13 3 years ago (edited)
I was walking down the street and saw a guy holding a paper cup. He looked disheveled and hungry so I decided to help and give him some money. As I was putting the coins in his cup, I heard a plopping sound. Turns out he was just holding his coffee. I was mortified and started running away. I have never given money since that day :/
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
A week or so ago I licked the clear syrupy droplets in the centre of a sunflower, I thought it would be sweet, like nectar. It wasn’t, it was bitter and stuck to my tongue. The taste wouldn’t go away, I can’t describe it.
Magda Kočičková 3 years ago
I lived next to a car park. When I was about 9, I saw an incredibly dirty car parking in front of our house. I couldn't resist the temptation and took a bucket with warm water to wash it. When I was in the middle of my action, I discovered the driver was sitting there,riveted to the spot,mortified. I played cool and walked slooowly home. Were I a weird child.
Troux 3 years ago
My work shoes (restaurant) were filthy. No, I was not cleaning them regularly. Yes, they smelled like restaurant. I figured the best way to do one good deep clean was to soak them in hot water first. They were REALLY dirty, so the water should be REALLY hot, right? I boiled my shoes, on purpose. A heavy boil, enough to completely destroy the glue holding them together. The shoes were forever gone, as was my reputation with my siblings that witnessed the experiment.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to throw a small lump of broken concrete straight upward, then look up to see where it was so I could catch it. In the dark. It hit me square in the eyeball and I had to wear a patch for the next three days.
Jill Pulcifer 3 years ago
Carton of coffee creamer in left hand, nothing in right. Go to put away coffee creamer, open fridge with right hand, turn left hand upside down. Realize my feet are getting wet, and stare at them like a moron, trying to figure out what exactly is happening. Finally, remember I had coffee creamer in my hand which is now upside down. My body is easily confused, these things happen to me alot. My husband has gotten so used to it, that he barely looks up to ask what I just accidentally threw/ dumped.
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
I have terrible eyesight, last week I was in the shower and was amazed that everything was clear, then I realized I had my glasses on. Not the first time I've done this, I am 54.
Peter Derksen 3 years ago
II threw a brick in the air when I was young, and casually walked away. Brick came down again and we were re-united once again. I drew the short straw with a concussion and stitches. I still remember it as if it were yesterday, but it’s 35 years ago.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
Trying to fake illness when I wanted a day off school at about aged 15. My Mum put a thermometer in my mouth and when her back was turned, I dipped it in my cup of tea to boost the heat to fool her I had a temperature and she'd allow me off school....it instantly shattered with a loud pop. She wasn't impressed.
V Martinez 3 years ago
My sister used to put it in her arm pit! Then back in her mouth! Eewww!
Load More Replies... renee brack 3 years ago
I love everyone in this post. Quirky foibles. Unexplained compulsions. Adorably absurd. Fab fun.
E 3 years ago
I packed a full pint glass of water into a box when I was moving house. Movers didn't spill a drop.
Oscar Bravo 3 years ago
When spoon feeding my baby, I'd open my own mouth to imitate, eating. As in physically saying, open wide young one. One day whilst in an ice cream parlour, with my wife, she asked to taste mine. So, I put some on my spoon and, you know, spoon feed it to her. Which is fine and nice and all, except I done the whole baby thing and opened my own mouth wide open to, indicate, she needs to open wide to eat lol.
H Edwards 3 years ago
This reminds me of when my friend was on the bus, and for once she was without her toddler son. As the bus passed a field, she turned to the woman sitting next to her and said 'look, moo-cows!'
Load More Replies... Edgar Rops 3 years ago
After the school year was over, my sister and I used to clean up our desks. So, when I finished 6th year, and she - 5th, we decided that we don't want some of our work to be seen by our parents, so we flushed all that and then panicked that it might block the drain. So, to be sure it wouldn't, we called a random number and asked, whether notebook paper will dissolve in the toilet. A lady on the other end patiently response that yes, it will and asked if there was anything else we'd like to know.
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
One time I filled up a Zip-lock with paint and water, sealed it up, and squeezed it....So anyway I got paint in my eye and there are still a few blue spots on the kitchen floor.
Nevits Yibble 3 years ago
I once stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green (had a lot on my mind that day). Took me a moment... WTF am I doing? Luckily there were no other cars around
Patti Vance 3 years ago
in the middle of moving into a new house my sister noticed we had the kind of mail slot that you dropped the mail in, it slid down the interior of the wall and out onto the floor by the front door. in the midst of the all the activity, she thought she would put her arm into the interior slot and wave at mom as she was coming in with another box. got her arm stuck. fire department called. black and blue arm for a week. she was 14.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
I was in sewing class age 12ish(1999), we were learning to sew elasticated waistbands. I got sick of it taking ages, tried to finish it by sewing through both pieces of elastic at once: the machine needle snapped and cut me just above my eyelid and across my eyebrow 😨 lucky it wasn't my eye! I was freaked out though, so I learned the rest if the year handsewing. I couldn't churn out projects as fast as the other kids but I was marked according to handsewing methods so it was fair. And a super handy skill that I'm glad I ended up learning, all because I thought I could take a shortcut on a sewing machine 😅
s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago
I always wearglasses (neutral) while sewing so scared of the needle breaking or other possible event.
Load More Replies... Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Like that time when I thought I knew everything about electricity (having had a recent lesson on it at school) and could maintain the circuit of Christmas lights by removing two bulbs and joining them with tinfoil (aluminium foil for the yanks). I landed on the couch behind me, with spiky hair.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
This whole post is just.... "Well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions." Once when I was about 8 or 9 I wondered what falling on my face would feel like because I had seen it in cartoons, so i tripped over a curb on purpose to see. Face first into concrete. Broke my nose, needed stitches in both my eyebrows, scraped up my whole face. i actually had surgery because of it. i still have scars in my eyebrows and under my nose from that. (ofc they're faded and barely visable but theyre still annoying)
K1tt3n 3 years ago
I'd like to enter a late submission! My little sister went to her friends house for a sleepover (she was maybe 10-11yrs old at the time), and after everyone had gone to sleep, she got up, walked out to their living room and set a Barbie doll on fire on their coffee table. This created a decent sized fire, smoke alarms went off, woke everyone up, firefighters showed up. Still, to this day, over a decade later, she has no idea why. Needless to say, she wasn't ever allowed to go back there for a sleepover hahaha
Lav Oravaf 3 years ago
I did the test of closing the car window and put my hand to see if it did stop... it F didn't and I hurt my hand. I could have put any objet, but nooooooo I had to put my hand ! I had to laugh... cause how dumb can someone be ?
AnnaB 3 years ago
I enjoy the ones where the dumb thing was done by an adult. You expect kids to do dumb stuff. Adults not so much.
John Baker 3 years ago
I've never considered myself on a par with Stephen Hawking or Richard Feynman, but I feel a lot smarter after reading these. ;-)
Elizabeth Kensei 3 years ago
I put a small circular lightbulb in my mouth thinking it was plastic and bit down. I was lucky enough that nothing got into my throat
PattonPawter 3 years ago
One time when I was younger I was at Great wolf lodge and I was sleeping on the top bunk, and I think the reason I did this was because I was trying to get down easier, but I jumped down from the top bunk. It hurt a lot but nothing was sprained or broken.
Kiwii Stone 3 years ago
My brother (12yo) made me a hot chocolate for my tea party but forgot to add cold water or milk. At 4yo, I drank a hot chocolate at kettle temperature
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Once grabbed a pan from the oven without the oven mitt on. Yeah. I know. No reason. Just an idiot. Woot me.
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
When I was 3 or 4 my mom was cooking something and I kept trying to touch the burner. She had to leave the room for a second and told me not to touch the burner with my finger under any circumstance. When she left, I slapped my whole hand onto that sucker and instantly started screaming. My mom was just like, "I told you" while she gave me aloe.
Leigh C. 3 years ago
I was in grade 5 and allowed to trek to the daycare on my own. My sense of time and ability to read time was very poor, and I always had trouble reading a clock. I got to daycare one day, saw the clock face on the wall and stared at it in disbelief thinking I had slept in longer than I thought and late. So late, I thought, that school was going to start in 20 minutes and staff had already left, as I didn't see anyone in the first room. (There are a couple play rooms and an auditorium, as it was in the basement of a church.) The daycare was blocks away from the school, and staff would drive us or walk us to school and back. Thinking they left without me I left my winter clothing on and quickly ran to school. When I got to the school, there was hardly anyone there. I started crying, confused as to what was going on. A teacher was coming up and asked why I was there so early. It was 8:00 am by then and school started at 8:45 am. I got in heck from the daycare staff. Dyscalculia it is.
lunar eclipse 3 years ago
Played indoor cricket in my parents room as a kid. Smashed a tubelight:D
Aski Markup 3 years ago
It's like the terminator said in Terminator 2, it's in our nature to destroy ourselves... 🙄
Missus Magoo 3 years ago
I once ironed the thick jumper I was wearing as it had a large crease around the the bottom area, not only that I pressed the steam button at the same time. I suffered an extremely painful burn at the top of my leg, not only that about 15 years later my son did the same thing. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Justy 3 years ago
I've done plenty of dumb things, including putting my hand on a hot burner for no reason, riding my bicycle really fast and then jumping off, also this one time I when I was little, we just got home from store, I was asked to shut the van door, family was already all in the house. I tried to shut it, but I was small, so it was hard to shut. So I decided to shut it from the back part of the van door (this was a Toyota Sienna Van I think, and it had a sliding door) well I got my thumb stuck in the van door, and me being a little kid, I pulled as hard as I could while screaming in pain. My mom was in the house and she had thought that I had shut the van door and was already in the house. She head someone screaming (me) but didn't think much of it, because the neighborhood kids always screamed all the time. But the scream kept getting more and more high pitched....and that's when she realized it was me. I was in the hospital for a few hours. But I was fine.
hydrostatic joints 3 years ago
Once we were over at my cousins' house and my brother and one of my cousins decided to mix together all of the chemicals they could find in the garage and then drink. I honestly don't know how they didn't end up killing us all.
Kiwii Stone 3 years ago
When I was 18 months old, I climbed out of my cot, went downstairs and put wood and newspaper in the fireplace. I struck a match towards me and set fire to my babygro. My family never let me live it down!
Little Wonder 3 years ago
When I visit my friend, I park alongside her driveway and every time I leave I indicate before pulling out. Into her driveway. I was hoping she'd never noticed, but she has. Much mockery.
Matthew Braim 3 years ago
When I was about 3 I screwed a screw so far up my nose, my parents had to take me to hospital to get it removed. Would do it again! (I'm 52...)
Heather Wolmarans 3 years ago
Sober me got undressed one morning and climbed into the shower. With my slippers on. Took a few minutes for the weird sensation to register. My defense? I had not yet coffee-d.
Lena Hill 3 years ago (edited)
When I was little I had this pink Disney Princess teapot (plastic), and one time I put bubble solution in it and blew into the spout. I thought giant bubbles would come out the other end. They did not, and the bubble solution went straight into my mouth. I thought I was going to die lmao.
Scotland's-Favorite-Gay 3 years ago
when i was in like 8th-grade math class, my teacher was talking about circles, and he was like "this is radius c," and I did the just do it guy flex and did my best macho voice and said "C!" in like a super gruff voice. and everyone turned to look at me and I died
L Hauber 3 years ago
Was about 3 and decided to lick a cactus. The kind with a lot of little spikes. Back then there was no going to the ER, just remember dozing in and out of sleep while my sister held my mouth open and my mom plucked those suckers out. Add that to the list my sister must keep for reasons she has never spoken to me since we were little
memyselfandI 3 years ago
I have a couple… there was the one time I was doing a headstand on a loft bed because I had seen my mom trying to do it in yoga class, I had my elbows on the mattress and my knees on the ceiling. I used to do that a lot… and then one time I fell off. Bet you didn’t see that coming. Somehow it didn’t hurt very much, I laid there for a bit in shock and then went back to bed. Didn’t do that again for a while. Then there was also the time when I blew on an oil lamp, you know the little candles with oil in them on fancy restaurant tables. I thought that eternal flames were oil lamps, so I was expecting the flame to come back. Surprise — it didn’t. I was 15 at the time.
elsieairhead 3 years ago
Shout out to all you wonderful people who like me, have walked into a lamppost (or similar) and apologised to it!
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Almost all were very funny. I laughed out loud at a few. I wanted more.
Kind Pegasus 95 3 years ago
Not me, but my brother had this toy of the Cowboy Woody from Toy Story and he peed in the toilet and threw the toy into the toilet and flushed it… R.I.P. Woody
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