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Whether we're opening our mouths without thinking, have social anxiety, or are just trying to cut through an awkward silence, everyone is bound to say something foolish every once in a while.
So it should come as no surprise that when Reddit user AlgorithmOmega asked people on the platform to share the dumbest statements they've heard, the responses came pouring in, showcasing just how common and relatable these moments are.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My personal favourite was the anti-vaxxer who told me all about how dangerous vaccines are. How many weird and toxic chemicals are in them, and what those chemicals would do to my body. Then she lit up a cigarette…
RELATED:
#2
“Women are responsible for men’s loneliness epidemic.”
My dudes: Go get yourself a friend, a hobby, a dog. Your relationships, entertainment, and play dates are not our responsibility.
#3
Have a misogynistic coworker who claimed the male lions do all the hunting, because he couldn't stand the idea of a female anything being better.
#4
The US has “never been a racist country” is up there. Leaving out the fact that the civil war was fought over slavery is pretty stupid too.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
The USA was born a racist nation. Slavery is a black mark on our history that can never be cleansed.
#6
Windmills cause cancer.
Global warming isn’t real because it’s cold outside.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
Some people actually think that windmills are stealing the wind and that's why the world is getting warmer. I wish I was making this up but that stupid is a congressman for the state of Georgia.
#7
"The vaccine can't survive 24h outside the fridge, and our body is not a fridge, so the vaccine can't last more than 24h in our body."
It took me 10second to even comprehend and recover from the stupidity of the statement.
#9
"American Healthcare has some issues, but it's still the best in the world" some ignorant redneck to me, a literal nurse working in an American ICU while he accumulates tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt
#10
"You shouldn't speak Spanish if you're not Mexican"
- a customer who got mad at me for helping another customer in Spanish
#11
"The center of the Galaxy and the earth are aligned! We so are in the end times!"
To which I responded, "two points are always aligned, it's called a line!"
He was super religious by the way...
Phantom Phoenix 5 months ago
The Mayan calendar ended in 2012. We're living AFTER the end times!
#12
"If we're going south, how are we going uphill?"
BrunoVI 5 months ago
I have to tell you; I grew up where the North was hillier. Even though in no way could I rely on North = up, I had a good instinctive sense of direction. Then I moved to a place where South was uphill and it completely screwed up my sense of direction. I just couldn't develop the instinct to override the base-level presumption that North was up.
Load More Replies...
Fora Nakit 5 months ago
I always think of the South as "down" but not "downhill". I'm curious about what do Australians consider "down". Any Aussey pandas here ?
Stardust she/her 5 months ago
I had this misconception cleared up when I was 6. How can adults like this exist?
MushroomHead22 5 months ago
just wait until they get to the top and tell them about north and going down.
Miles Mawyer 5 months ago
Another flerfer it sounds like. For some reason some flat earthers think that North is up. They just can't think in 3D.
François Carré 5 months ago
Had a coworker tell me rivers should not flow from South to North because South is "lower" than North on the globe (at least he was not a flat earther) and water is only supposed to go downhill. Still wonder if he was joking or not.
Andy Frobig 5 months ago
Much as I enjoy seeing people be stupid about politics, this is a refreshing change
PrettyJoyBird 5 months ago
They must have been lost in the desert and had heat stroke poor soul.
Regina Holt 5 months ago
I actually knew someone who said she thought that uphill meant north. Sigh.
Guess Undheit 5 months ago
The REALLY stupid part about this is that the Earth IS BIGGER as you approach the equator. Because of rotation, the Earth's circumference at the equator is 40,075 km. It's only 40,008 km in a circle going through the north and south pole.
Guess Undheit 5 months ago
From the same stupidity that claims "all rivers flow south". I've lived in northern Canada. Trust me, the Mackenzie River (13th longest in the world) flows north, to the Arctic Ocean.
#13
Had a friend insist Hawaii is a seperate country, not a US state. (We're both Americans) I'm still very embarrassed that we both attended the same high school.
#14
In the middle of a "Bill Gates created Covid to microchip us" (which itself is pretty up there) rant: "He tested it in Africa. There were no diseases in Africa until Bill Gates went there and started spreading them"
#15
I was talking about how terrible the homeless situation in America is and my step mother said "well It's mostly brown people and that's what they get for coming here illegally". All I could do was lol and say you need to quit watching Faux news 24/7. The struggle is real people.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
No idea where you would get this idea. I live in Portland Oregon and I'd say about 80% of the homeless folk I see on a daily basis are white born free American citizens.
#16
“The way you’re raised has nothing to do with the way you turn out”
- my mom to me when I called her out on her behaviour
Gabriele Alfredo Pini 5 months ago
Kinda like saying that the big five fingers welt on your cheek has nothing to do with the slap I gave you earlier...
#18
“If China’s been around for so long, how come they never invented anything?”
If it were a genuine, ignorant question, that’d be one thing, but it was rhetorically asked as if to say China’s never accomplished anything. Baffling.
Charlie the Cat 5 months ago
Just Googled it. China has been the source of many innovations, scientific discoveries and inventions. This includes the Four Great Inventions: papermaking, the compass, gunpowder, and printing (both woodblock and movable type).
#19
"pseudoscience is still science"
#20
Coworker: "If vegans care about animals so much, and they eat all the vegetables, then all the animals who eat vegetables will go hungry"
He genuinely thought it was some gotcha about vegans and I had to jump out of the argument for a minute to be like "wait is that actually something you think could happen?" Apparently we're competing with rabbits in a zero sum game of who can eat the most carrots
james stevenson 5 months ago
What about all the animals that have to be killed & stuff to actually grow the veggies anyway?
#21
Heard from a guy I was working with over the weekend. He was on the phone with his mom.
"Im not even going to vote. I just hate politics nowadays. Now if I say i hate black people, they say I'm a racist. What's so racist about that?!"
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
The fact it is actual racism. Bro is describing actual racism.
#22
On a conservative forum, some person was lamenting cost of his medical procedure AFTER insurance paid their part.
"I can't image how much it would cost if it were free!"
james stevenson 5 months ago
"I can imagine how much money I would have to spend if I didn't have to spend any money!"
#23
That’s why you have autism!
Response to “Well I’m getting the vax being I don’t want to die”
My response to that was “I thought you get Autism **after** the vaccine?”
#24
“I’m not racist my dogs black”Heard it more than once. Abhorrent statement to make. And yes that is the first time I’ve used that word Abhorrent in a sentence, but needs must.
#25
I write software, had a boss with little technical knowledge for a bit.
He asked me to 'make the software do X or Y depending on what the user wanted when they clicked the button'. I asked what he meant, he got upset, told me it was simple. If the user wants X to happen when they click the button, do that! If they want Y to happen when they click the button, do that! At first I thought maybe he meant there was some other way to figure that out from context.. but no, ultimately he meant 'read the users mind and intent when they click the button'.
#26
There was a certain politician that, speaking about some military business, said "I know more about that than the generals". He was wrong.
#27
"I don't get why they keep changing the all the sciencey facts in schools." - Some lady at a truck stop in Louisiana.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
Because Science adapts to new information and evidence. Dogma does not.
#28
It's your duty as a woman to have a child and whether you want one or not, doesn't matter.
#30
"The Bible is historical fact and never contradicts itself."
"No matter where you are, you're always going North."
"You can't cook with gas."
"Cool ranch doritos are ranch flavored?!?" -Me-
What do you think ?
Dream 5 months ago
No one mentioned this gem---"All I know about magnets is, if you put water on them, they don't work!"~ 3 guesses which orange faced criminal said this.
Bored Trash Panda 5 months ago
Oh, did you hear the one about the boat, boat battery, and the sharks? If it wasn't so worrying that this man is running for president again, it would have been hilarious.
Load More Replies...
Richard Graham 5 months ago
I was watching "Schindler's List" with a friend. A half-hour into the movie she said "What war is this?" About an hour into the movie she said "You mean they were doing all of these terrible things to people just because they were Jewish?" She was a college graduate.
Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago
If her parents, school, or friends didn't talk about it, she didn't know all the facts. I say she's mostly innocent in her question if her upbringing supports what I said.
Load More Replies...
roddy 5 months ago
I once made a comment about a concentration camp only to discover that the person I was speaking with thought a concentration camp was somewhere you went to meditate. He was in his twenties and had never heard of them.
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
https://www.southparkstudios.com/video-clips/cqx54e/south-park-concentration-camp
Load More Replies...
Amy Manzanares 5 months ago
My roommate insists that ALL kittens are born with lice. Also, we had gotten a new kitten and I was trying to figure out how old she was. He told me she was 10 weeks because he saw her poo and kittens don't poo until they are 10 weeks old. LOL! He's pretty consistent with general stupidity.
Headless Horseman 5 months ago
5th grade student INSISTED that rain come directly from a "water tornado" in the ocean and it just shoots water into the air and it lands on us.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 5 months ago
I don't know how old 5th graders usually are but assuming it's far too old to think this?!
Load More Replies...
B 5 months ago
My sister-in-law once came up with a classic. Talking about someone she knew who had been in an accident, she announced, 'He was a vegetable. Like, literally a vegetable.' Actually, if he was literally a vegetable, he'd be, like, literally an actual vegetable. She's about as dumb as, like, a literal vegetable.
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
so few? I think I lost about 1000 smashing my head against my desk.
Load More Replies...
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
Worked in a school and got into an argument with a teacher's aide - she thought Alaska was an island ... next to Hawaii ... a few miles off the coast of southern California. I had to get a globe out and show her where they were. This led to my realization that she also believed Canada was in Europe, Mexico was in South America, and the US was "just a big island" 🫣
Richard Graham 5 months ago (edited)
Many United States maps have Alaska and Hawaii in a little box on the lower left. That is why a surprising number of people think Alaska is an island.
Load More Replies...
Richard Graham 5 months ago
Got a phone call. caller "What'cha doing?" "watching a movie." "what movie?" "North by Northwest." "Is it any good?" "It's great! A classic! One of Alfred Hitchcock's best work." "Who's Alfred Hitchcock?"
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
hmm yes you can have people who do not know who HK is, usually they will be younger. I personally have only seen one of his movies. So... ya. And I'm old.
Load More Replies...
Papa 5 months ago
I once had a woman ask me for advice. She was planning to sell her house, and it needed new carpet, but she was concerned that people might not like the color of the new carpet. I suggested researching the cost of new carpet, and telling prospective buyers that she had lowered the price for the house to allow them to put in whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I did that, and they bought the house, and then didn't get new carpet?" I believe that in her mind she thought she'd somehow be cheated if that happened.
Debby Keir 5 months ago
Once sold a house with a swimming pool. Just before completion (UK) the buyer decided she didn't want a pool, and wanted £10k off so that she could fill it in. (We declined, and basically the sale did go through at the agreed rate)
Load More Replies...
frank behnsen 5 months ago
Amazing. Truly amazing. And also very shocking. By its “insanely insane” entries one of the weirdest topics on BP I’v read so far.
ZuriLovesYou 5 months ago
The dumbest statement I've ever heard came from my mom. She asked if I was sad, and I said no. Then she said, "Good. We don't do depression". Like, what does that even mean? You think I WANT to be mentally ill?!
Magenta Blu 5 months ago
"I love you and will never hurt you" right.... And then sexually assault my daughters (4 and 6 yo) less than one year later.
A C 5 months ago
Oh my goodness! I hope you and your daughters are receiving love and care in your recovery from this horrible trauma?🫶 May the person who committed this despicable act be punished in a way that they deserve and no mercy given!
Load More Replies...
Natalie Kelsey 5 months ago
My husband and I used to play cards with another newly wed couple early in our marriage. Once I was the dealer and shuffled the cards a whole bunch of times. The other couple insisted that "if you shuffle more than three times, the cards will come back around" to the arrangement they were in when you started. My husband and I were baffled and asked them to clarify. They both insisted you couldn't shuffle the cards more than Three times or it was like you'd never shuffled them at all. Both people were masters degree students and otherwise quite intelligent. My husband and I still crack up about this situation 24 years later.
Allen Packard 5 months ago
Another liberal echo chamber article, refreshing and thought provoking as ever.
Arlene Harris 5 months ago
My dad told the story of why he divorced his first wife (in the 1950's, btw) because he was talking to her about this interesting book he read about the American Civil War and she just looked at him and said, "we won that one, right?" And he had three kids with her! One of whom is a perpetual stoner without a real job, one went AWOL from the army and disappeared, and the third one, well, her name is Karen, so... yeah
Arlene Harris 5 months ago
however, Im not immune to stupidity either... I remember in Jr. High we were reading The Outsiders and we had to do a mock trial on the robbery scene and I was on the defense and something made me say "no one can steal that much stuff from a store, how could he carry it all?' without realizing that he robbed the store of money... yeah that's why I'm not a lawyer :-D
Load More Replies... SweetCheesySpaghetti 5 months ago
Worst I've heard: "Women who have c-sections aren't real mothers. If it didn't come out of your vagina, you are not a real mother."
Dream 5 months ago
No one mentioned this gem---"All I know about magnets is, if you put water on them, they don't work!"~ 3 guesses which orange faced criminal said this.
Bored Trash Panda 5 months ago
Oh, did you hear the one about the boat, boat battery, and the sharks? If it wasn't so worrying that this man is running for president again, it would have been hilarious.
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 5 months ago
I was watching "Schindler's List" with a friend. A half-hour into the movie she said "What war is this?" About an hour into the movie she said "You mean they were doing all of these terrible things to people just because they were Jewish?" She was a college graduate.
Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago
If her parents, school, or friends didn't talk about it, she didn't know all the facts. I say she's mostly innocent in her question if her upbringing supports what I said.
Load More Replies... roddy 5 months ago
I once made a comment about a concentration camp only to discover that the person I was speaking with thought a concentration camp was somewhere you went to meditate. He was in his twenties and had never heard of them.
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
https://www.southparkstudios.com/video-clips/cqx54e/south-park-concentration-camp
Load More Replies... Amy Manzanares 5 months ago
My roommate insists that ALL kittens are born with lice. Also, we had gotten a new kitten and I was trying to figure out how old she was. He told me she was 10 weeks because he saw her poo and kittens don't poo until they are 10 weeks old. LOL! He's pretty consistent with general stupidity.
Headless Horseman 5 months ago
5th grade student INSISTED that rain come directly from a "water tornado" in the ocean and it just shoots water into the air and it lands on us.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 5 months ago
I don't know how old 5th graders usually are but assuming it's far too old to think this?!
Load More Replies... B 5 months ago
My sister-in-law once came up with a classic. Talking about someone she knew who had been in an accident, she announced, 'He was a vegetable. Like, literally a vegetable.' Actually, if he was literally a vegetable, he'd be, like, literally an actual vegetable. She's about as dumb as, like, a literal vegetable.
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
so few? I think I lost about 1000 smashing my head against my desk.
Load More Replies... Jenna Kay 5 months ago
Worked in a school and got into an argument with a teacher's aide - she thought Alaska was an island ... next to Hawaii ... a few miles off the coast of southern California. I had to get a globe out and show her where they were. This led to my realization that she also believed Canada was in Europe, Mexico was in South America, and the US was "just a big island" 🫣
Richard Graham 5 months ago (edited)
Many United States maps have Alaska and Hawaii in a little box on the lower left. That is why a surprising number of people think Alaska is an island.
Load More Replies... Richard Graham 5 months ago
Got a phone call. caller "What'cha doing?" "watching a movie." "what movie?" "North by Northwest." "Is it any good?" "It's great! A classic! One of Alfred Hitchcock's best work." "Who's Alfred Hitchcock?"
censorshipsucks 5 months ago
hmm yes you can have people who do not know who HK is, usually they will be younger. I personally have only seen one of his movies. So... ya. And I'm old.
Load More Replies... Papa 5 months ago
I once had a woman ask me for advice. She was planning to sell her house, and it needed new carpet, but she was concerned that people might not like the color of the new carpet. I suggested researching the cost of new carpet, and telling prospective buyers that she had lowered the price for the house to allow them to put in whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I did that, and they bought the house, and then didn't get new carpet?" I believe that in her mind she thought she'd somehow be cheated if that happened.
Debby Keir 5 months ago
Once sold a house with a swimming pool. Just before completion (UK) the buyer decided she didn't want a pool, and wanted £10k off so that she could fill it in. (We declined, and basically the sale did go through at the agreed rate)
Load More Replies... frank behnsen 5 months ago
Amazing. Truly amazing. And also very shocking. By its “insanely insane” entries one of the weirdest topics on BP I’v read so far.
ZuriLovesYou 5 months ago
The dumbest statement I've ever heard came from my mom. She asked if I was sad, and I said no. Then she said, "Good. We don't do depression". Like, what does that even mean? You think I WANT to be mentally ill?!
Magenta Blu 5 months ago
"I love you and will never hurt you" right.... And then sexually assault my daughters (4 and 6 yo) less than one year later.
A C 5 months ago
Oh my goodness! I hope you and your daughters are receiving love and care in your recovery from this horrible trauma?🫶 May the person who committed this despicable act be punished in a way that they deserve and no mercy given!
Load More Replies... Natalie Kelsey 5 months ago
My husband and I used to play cards with another newly wed couple early in our marriage. Once I was the dealer and shuffled the cards a whole bunch of times. The other couple insisted that "if you shuffle more than three times, the cards will come back around" to the arrangement they were in when you started. My husband and I were baffled and asked them to clarify. They both insisted you couldn't shuffle the cards more than Three times or it was like you'd never shuffled them at all. Both people were masters degree students and otherwise quite intelligent. My husband and I still crack up about this situation 24 years later.
Allen Packard 5 months ago
Another liberal echo chamber article, refreshing and thought provoking as ever.
Arlene Harris 5 months ago
My dad told the story of why he divorced his first wife (in the 1950's, btw) because he was talking to her about this interesting book he read about the American Civil War and she just looked at him and said, "we won that one, right?" And he had three kids with her! One of whom is a perpetual stoner without a real job, one went AWOL from the army and disappeared, and the third one, well, her name is Karen, so... yeah
Arlene Harris 5 months ago
however, Im not immune to stupidity either... I remember in Jr. High we were reading The Outsiders and we had to do a mock trial on the robbery scene and I was on the defense and something made me say "no one can steal that much stuff from a store, how could he carry it all?' without realizing that he robbed the store of money... yeah that's why I'm not a lawyer :-D
Load More Replies... SweetCheesySpaghetti 5 months ago
Worst I've heard: "Women who have c-sections aren't real mothers. If it didn't come out of your vagina, you are not a real mother."
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