“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office

From lifelong friendships and first crushes to inspiring lessons and adventurous field trips, school is a place that holds countless memories we’ll never forget.

But not all of them are joyful.

Especially for these Redditors who, through no fault of their own, were sent to the principal’s office for the most absurd and unfair reasons. Some of these moments were so painful that they still sting today. Read their stories below, and let us know if you’ve ever faced anything similar.

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office For getting beat up.

I kid you not, the principle once told me that if I don't fight, I won't get in trouble. I let this kid bully me and punch me repeatedly in the face, just to avoid getting in trouble. I was still sent to the principal's office, and then told by him that I was in a fight so I'm getting suspended, even though I didn't fight. From his point of view, by getting punched in the face, I'm involved in the fight.

I never trusted authorities again after that.

Former_Range_1730 , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

84points

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Kylie 1 month ago

This "everyone involved is at fault" reasoning for school is insane. Yes, sometimes there is a perpetrator and a victim fgs.

54points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office "Refusing to deny the existance of negative numbers."

I can't recall the exact details of the assignment, as it was several decades ago, but I got into a shouting match with my 1st grade teacher over an assignment where we had to arrange numbers to make new equations. We hadn't been taught negative numbers officially, but my dad had taught me how the worked while I was in preschool. (Even as a tiny kid, i was still a huge nerd.) I kept arranging the equations to give both positive and negative results, but the teacher only wanted positive answers and got mad at me for "doing it wrong" but she couldn't explain a "right way" to do things that made any sense, just basically told me I was cheating. I got sent to the pricipals office, explained the situation, and he was like, "yeah, I don't know why she's not letting you submit those answers. If you want, you can hang out here and read until that assignement is over. I'll talk to her after class." He did, and the teacher apologized to me the next day.

That principal was a good dude, and part of the reason I eventually ended up getting a teaching degree. The teacher, not so much.

LemurianLemurLad , Max Fischer Report

Final score:

75points

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TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 month ago

oh my gosh, this happened to me too!!! I did this when I was in 5th grade I think, and we were not supposed to learn negative numbers until the 6th grade, so when I answered a problem with -6, one of the kids tried(and succeeded) at getting me scolded in front of the class because "you shouldn't know about those yet"

24points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Oh 😡🙋🏼‍♀️.... Let me tell you why I got set to the principal's office in 7th grade...my shop teacher walked up to me and kissed my hand-then KISSED MY MOUTH. I slapped his face and he told me to go to the principal's office! This was in front of every single kid in that class!! The principal called my mom, I remember she was in that office within less than 10mins flat.Called that shop teacher down to the office and they told me to wait outside the office with the school secretary. I'm 50 years old and I can STILL hear my mother screaming/ripping them a new a*****e. I was moved to Home Ec Class. My mom made a police report-her boyfriend was a cop. Nothing else ever came of it. That teacher left the school at the end of the year.

Wyo911 , Julia M Cameron Report

Final score:

68points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Yes, protect the predators. Such a healthy way to run a school. Ffs.

60points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office In 6th grade, I cut a dime in half on a paper cutter, and was given a week of in school suspension for ‘making weapons’. The school was in DC, and the principal also called the secret service for ‘defacing money’.
An agent actually showed up! He spoke to me for all of 30 seconds, basically saying I’d have been smarter to use it at an ice cream truck, and half a dime is no use to anyone.

A science teacher who took a shine to me later told me that the agent spent half an hour with the principal, explaining that his call was stupid, an absolute waste of time, and not to do it again. Made that week in ISS go a little easier for me. .

Wax_and_Wane , Claudio Olivares Medina Report

Final score:

65points

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Cathy 1 month ago

Iss? Like, the international space station?

26points

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Had a kid make a comment about my long hair and being a disgusting Indian. I turned and looked him dead in the eye and said Custer made a comment like that once. The teacher was trying so hard not to laugh but sent us both to the office.

Northmech Report

Final score:

63points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 month ago

Good comeback! Only the racist douchebag kid should've been sent to the office though.

52points

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For being a lesbian .
Got 3 days suspended too .

I was 7.

My mother went to the school and read them the riots act ,
I was back the following day.

( background story : me and my best friend had plan going to her grandads farm the weekend .
We often spend weekends in her house . Her dad was awesome . Her mom was a lovely lady .
So what really happened was she went to one of the cubicles to pee and I was washing my hands further down the toilet . We were talking about what to bring for the weekend, so I finished washing my hands and sat on the floor talking to her opposite to the cubicles, she had the door open as we often did chat away at her house .

The Math teacher walked in the bathroom and freaked out throw us both to the principal and home .
Thing is we didn’t even know why we were there.

My mom and her dad were summoned.

Oh the b******t .

My mother absolutely ate them alive .

(My mother was a lecturer she taught Sex and Psychology. )
So .. ye.

Significant_Layer857 Report

Final score:

63points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office A kid in my 1st/2nd grade class said she was feeling sick and asked to go to the bathroom; the teacher lost her s**t and told her no after reading the riot act. The kid proceeded to vomit all over...everything, got sent out to the bathroom and eventually made her way to the principal's office once she stopped, erm, *dripping*. A hell of a bad day for a 7-year-old.

This was one of many awful things that teacher did to elementary school students who lacked the finesse and language skills to persuade their parents that she really, truly was the devil. My parents didn't believe me about her until I was in my 20s. Hers is the only axe I keep around for grinding.

If Miss Ehlert is still alive, I hope it's because her next of kin refuse to pull the plug despite terminal pain and suffering.

Entarotupac , Any Lane Report

Final score:

54points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

Kids should have the authority to send the teacher to the principals office.

24points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I got interested in the Salem witch trials when I was about 11, and as a fast reader who hyper-fixates, I had checked several books out of the library on the topic to read. I kept these books on my desk and carried them around while doing my research. One of the other kids in my class went crying to the principal that I was a witch, so I got called into the principal's office to explain my choice of reading. Thankfully the principal took one look at my books, saw that they were all non-fiction/history, and pretty much laughed me out of the office. (For context, this was the early 90s, so the Satanic panic was still going fairly strong.).

Beshelar , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

54points

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TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 month ago

this was like when I got obsessed with the titanic when I was 9 lol

26points

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office 16 in highschool, vice principal dragged me to the office for literally holding my boyfriend's hand during lunch time. It was a public school, not even religious, and I had never heard a rule against hand holding in my life. She was making me late for class after lunch while she was calling my mum at work and I knew she was in for it lmao. My mother is a nightmare and did NOT appreciate being bothered at work and having me out of class for something she's seen me do 100 times with my long term boyfriend. VP got yelled at (my mum is very scary) and told never to call her at work again. I knew that's exactly what would happen lol and I hope the righteous teenage smirk I gave her walking out of that office still haunts her to this day.

emjaykay1988 , Thomas Ward Report

Final score:

53points

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Bored Potato 1 month ago

Oof. Who gets in trouble for holding hands, though? Seriously

8points

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#10

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Saying "gay people are not evil" at a Christian high school.

HorizonZeroDawn2 , Allan Mas Report

Final score:

51points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Reason 142 as to why religious schools are a bad idea.

52points

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#11

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office High School - eating an apple in the hallway before homeroom. the VP wanted me to throw it out and i refused because i didn't want to waste food. got detention. was released as soon as the busses left. had to find a ride home.

at lunch i found the worst looking, bruised, mushy apple i could find and brought it to detention with me. left it on her desk.

IceeEwe , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

49points

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- 1 month ago (edited)

Bad@ss brings a bad apple to the teacher.

12points

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#12

Monday morning suspended for partcipating in an impromptu school walk out about the dress code on a Friday. Was sent home.
Only I was at home with my dad and was ill on that Friday.

Dad's start hours were later, he had a written complaint letter from the principal's office as did all those who walked out and was reading it as I opened the door after being sent home.
He asked me about it. Blindsided, The walkout was news to me.

Wow! to hear the Principal's reaction on the phone with my dad dressing him down for externally suspended me without evidence would have been awesome.
On my end my dad was my hero.

My dad told me I could go back to school right after. Instead I got to stay home and watch TV until the siblings came home.
Next day I was called in to the office again, for an apology from the principal.
Until I graduated he never called me in his office again.
Dad remained my hero until he the day he died.

ImpossibleShake6 Report

Final score:

46points

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Bay Bo 1 month ago

That's great that the principal was grown up enough to apologize though

21points

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#13

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I once got sent to the principal's office for wearing mismatched socks. Apparently, it was a 'distraction.'

Ellymoree , Olga/ Олька Report

Final score:

45points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Who is watching feet all the time?

37points

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#14

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I'll always remember the time I took the Madagascar CD to school to exchange it for the Ice Age CD with a friend in 9th grade. The CDs didn't have covers, and when the principal caught us exchanging them, he assumed the worst and called our parents to school. But then, when the principal opened the CD on his desktop, it was playing Madagascar! My parents were annoyed for being called to school for no reason, and the principal had to apologize. This all happened in India, and it was quite an unforgettable experience!

Apprehensive_Day_654 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

41points

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SheamusFanFrom1987 1 month ago (edited)

Someone ought to tell the principal that he should have just Moved It Moved It past the issue when it came to the exchange XP

24points

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#15

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I was sexually assaulted in the mudroom by grade 8 boys when I was in grade 6. When I told the principal, he admonished me for saying such horrible things about such nice boys.

I was an avid reader, and he told me to stop making up stories like the ones I read in books. He wanted me to take him to our school library (as if that’s the only library) and show him which book I got my story from. I gave up.

I switched schools two weeks later when I told my mom I wanted to die. But I didn’t tell her about the assault because I thought she’d do the same thing as my principal. I was a good kid, but my parents always took the teachers’ side because they were also teachers and I was a kid.

RadioSupply , Pixabay Report

Final score:

38points

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somnomania (she/her, queer) 1 month ago

the adults are just as complicit in this as the boys

15points

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#16

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Having a low blood sugar in class. I know I know how dare me.

jesus_he_is_queer , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

38points

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BrownEyedPanda 1 month ago

😵‍💫

9points

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#17

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I was knocked unconscious by someone who felt that I didn’t deserve to be on the lacrosse team. After being checked out by the school nurse, I and my mother were told that I was being suspended even though “the other boy said that he did it completely and fully without provocation and he admitted as such”

Rhana , Pixabay Report

Final score:

37points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Suspended on what grounds?

22points

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#18

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Back in junior high one of my classmates passed out while sitting outside on the bench during lunchtime.

One of her friends stayed with her in the office till the other girls mom came to get her, so the friend was 10-15 minutes late to class.

Teacher asked her why she was late and she told her what happened.

I'll never forget that old bat's response:" Why? You're not her mother"

Historical_Gur_3054 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

36points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Imagine having empathy and caring for other people. Such an alien concept.

11points

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#19

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Running to a trusted teacher's room when a girl was chasing me with a freaking shiv. wtf, he literally said, well, you should've gone to the gym coach (it happened in the locker room after pe). I asked him what the hell did he think I was going to do, stop and consider who to go to first? I was about to be stabbed, you idiot. I actually said those exact words, this memory is so strong it's like it happened yesterday. He just stood there slack jawed and then, without saying anything else, said "Ok, go back to class." What a dimwit.

Opening-End-7346 , Caleb Oquendo Report

Final score:

35points

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BrownEyedPanda 1 month ago

You misspelled "àsshat."

23points

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#20

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Spent all of lunch recess in the bathroom because I had a nasty bout of diarrhea.

Was told I should have asked permission before going back inside first.

He later apologized.

jacobr1020 , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

Final score:

34points

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#21

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I hugged a friend who was away for over a month, with enthusiasm. My teacher claimed I was assaulting him so I was forced by the principal to write apology letters to my friend and the teacher. I refused and my parents had to get involved.

That_OneOstrich , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

34points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

How could this happen unless the friend complained?

19points

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#22

Not a kid but senior year with end in sight my buddies and I just started doing more and more stupid s**t. Got bet I wouldn’t show up in a borrowed gf’s black bra and white shirt. Had to wear it all day and around fourth period teach sent me to the principal. He just started laughing and said to take it off and was going to confiscate said bra. It got weird when I couldn’t unhook it myself and he almost lunged to help. We both decided I should go do it in private lol.

Dramatic_Addition_68 Report

Final score:

34points

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Neon 1 month ago

Hahahahah! thats the way... I had to teach my daughter that no outfit is wrong... Had hers skirt like swimming pool dress on for like an hour at a public pool before she noticed.... And none of the people around noticed (or they kept their gaze away) ;) :)

5points

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#23

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office They served dinner rolls in the cafeteria at lunch. About 4th grade a teacher sent me to the principals office for sticking my finger in my roll. Not throwing it at anyone. Just sitting there bored and playing with my food. I got 5 licks from the principal. Even at the time I thought this is ridiculous. Still do. This was back in the days when if you got in trouble at school you didn’t dare tell your parents and you hoped they didn’t find out because you’d just get in more trouble at home.

Justbeingme_92 , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

Final score:

33points

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UncleJohn3000 1 month ago

OP got Lick Rolled.

12points

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#24

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Getting an alergic reaction that inturrupted a kids presentation.

Fun-Bit3116 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

32points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Get an allergic reaction on your own time people!

23points

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#25

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Wearing a green bow in my hair. Apparently, it didn't appropriately compliment my blue jumper.

Tryingtodosomethingg , Nataliia Report

Final score:

31points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Was this fashion school?

31points

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#26

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office Punching a b***h boy in the face for slapping my a*s in the hallway.

anon , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

29points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Tell me the boy got a worse punishment. Or was it just "boys being boys"?

12points

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#27

Story time! I had water bottles at the top of my locker that were half filled… with water just old forgot they were up there. The art teacher who was a menace was monitoring the hall that day (just to make sure kids are going to class after lunch) I noticed her standing really close to my locker but did not think anything of it.

So I go to English class, and within 15 mins I look up bc my principal is calling me to come with him. Talk about wtf embarrassing moment.. so I walk with him down to his office, he sits me down and tells me I’ve been accused of having alcohol in my locker. I literally freaked tf out, I was in 7th grade who the hell would tell my principal that. I was a good kid too. I asked him if my mom was pranking me, he chuckled and walked me down to my locker. We opened my locker up, he looked confused and pointed to the bottles of water at the top - grabbed them opened them up, sniffed them and just kinda stood there like (?) okay, sorry for your time, and walked me back to class. I’m like an in trouble? He’s like no, you’re good I will call your parents, still not explaining anything to me. I went back to English and I sat and figured it out… my b***h a*s art teacher who hated all children told my principal this BS! oof my mom was livid but something to laugh at years later.

absofruitly420 Report

Final score:

28points

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ILoveMySon 1 month ago

I knew a guy who regularly brought alcohol to school. His home life was difficult. He is doing well now.

2points

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#28

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office My friend broke his wrist (like obviously broken) on the playground and I ran inside to help the teacher find an icepack. It took at least 5 minutes before I lost my patience and ran inside because around a year earlier I came across one while cleaning the principals office (that was deserved tho). Because kids weren’t allowed to go inside during recess (while I helped both the teacher and my friend), I had to stay at the principals office and had detention for a week….

DeporterAcadiens , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

27points

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Tempest 1 month ago

In 4th or 5th grade two guys in my class fought and one slammed a desk on the other one’s hand while he was on the floor. His hand turned purple. This happened when there wasn’t a teacher in the classroom. I was friends with both of them so I decided to take the injured one to the teacher’s lounge to seek help. While making our way there we got stopped by a teacher in the hallway and got scolded for loitering and skipping class. Then when we reached the lounge, while a teacher attended to my friend, some other random teacher in the room (who I’ve never seen before) kept nagging at me asking if he’s my boyfriend…

15points

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#29

For getting upset when another kid slapped me.

NotTheGreenestThumb Report

Final score:

25points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 month ago

Pretty sure that's quite a valid reason to be upset!

14points

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#30

“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office I wanted to do stand up comedy for the talent show at my high school and the principal requested that I came to her office and perform my act in front of her and her alone. She was not amused and said I couldn't participate in the talent show.

waynechriss , Beninu Andersen Report

Final score:

18points

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Strachan Coutinho 1 month ago

This one doesn't really count as you weren't sent there to be reprimanded.

14points

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What do you think ?

Steve Hall 1 month ago

Most of these posts tell us why our educational system is failing us.

Zero Costa 1 month ago

unfortunately I've got a few wack school stories from Australia, so it's just the whole letting people who shouldn't be around kids teach issue

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UncleJohn3000 1 month ago (edited)

I never went to the principal's office but was frequently standing next to the kid who did.

Parmeisan 1 month ago (edited)

My husband, let's call him Matt, when he was in 16 or 17 years old & in high school, gave the middle finger to a friend. It wasn't serious, the friend didn't take it seriously, they did it all the time. But this time, a teacher saw and got mad because he thought it was inappropriate for a school setting. I suppose that's debatable, but anyway the real problem came when the teacher assigned him detention and Matt didn't go. He thought the whole thing was so dumb & beneath him. He wasn't even in this guy's class. So they brought Matt in to the principal's office to make him apologize to the teacher. He refused. Brought his parents in. Still no. They thought it was pretty silly, too. They asked his dad "what if somebody gave someone else the middle finger where you work?" That got a laugh, his dad trains cadets and sees much worse. (1/2)

7points

Parmeisan 1 month ago

Eventually they sent Matt to the school counsellor. Counsellor came back with a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder or something like that, basically means he has trouble with anybody who tries to assert authority without having earned it. Like if Matt respects you because you are good at what you do, he has no issue with your being above him in a hierarchy and listening to your rules. But if you come out of nowhere and try to rule him out of fear, he will oppose you to the last. So Matt got to pick his teachers for the last year of high school. Never had to talk to teacher-who'd-reprimanded him again. I'd say he won that exchange lol. (2/2)

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“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office

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