Be a fckn parent and educate your kid, maybe?

Get roasted Karen!

Wow that just hit me hard. I still have that happen to me and I'm 43. And it absolutely crushes my soul. Just the other day I thought "wow, I seriously cannot do anything right."

Nothing toxic here, just funny

And how to use your mother's makeup to hide the bruises

I’m a really good liar because of my parents but they can’t tell when I’m telling the truth so I get blamed for things I didn’t do

Those are actually very good life skills if you're being hunted by llamas.

Sad but true. Example from my personal experience - making me go to bed early taught me how to secretly get up and do stuff in "stealth mode", read with a flashlight, etc. Most prohibitions teach children how to cover their tracks, not to avoid doing the thing.

How to have low self esteem and become a people pleaser because you're scared to disagree with anyone.

But also how to hide everything you do from them, so when you are really in trouble, you are in the middle of Bumf*ck and realise no one knows where you are and there is likely no help coming....

Why does this hit so, very close to home?

I wish I didn't know this to be true

When we were kids my mom would preach “if you want to do something ask my permission first”. We learned quickly that when the answer was “no” 100% of the time it was downright stupid to ask her first. She had absolutely no idea what kind of crazy s**t my brother & I did.

i have done all of these multiple times in my life

I have a reading kindle, and naturally mom doesn’t want me staying up till 11 reading. What I actually do is listen for footsteps and noise (which is hard because I’m a pretty specific sleeper it can’t be too loud or too quiet) and at the first sign of someone coming into my room I close the kindle and pretend to be alseep

This is true. They also teach you how to always please people at your own expense, be absolutely silent at all times, and to fear the smell of alcohol, and raised voices. Although they really have taught me how to hide stuff properly, an actually useful skill. They also have taught my sister and I the exact safe amount to say which doesn’t get them reported to CPS, however when it does happen nothing ever happens, only my sis and I get in more trouble. Yeash.

y.e.p

This can't be what we all teach our kids when it's sit quietly please? Like sometimes you need to learn patience!!

I can do that and my parents are really good at parenting

I don't get overly strict parents. Of course, you shouldn't be to laid back, but you shouldn't be so strict that your kids are afraid of you.

And don't forget: fear and distrust authority.

They also teach you how to be extra sneaky and get rid of all evidence of something

Sorry my bad!

To be fair, all four of these things are good things to know to succeed in the usual office workplace.

Y E S

And how to tiptoe through the house without being heard. I can still move from room to room & my husband doesn't hear me moving at all!

Unique. Right in some ways wrong in some ways.

How to use bible verses to spin your side of a creative difference.