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“Am I A Jerk For Telling My Roommate That I Don’t Give A [Damn] About Her Boyfriend’s Allergies?”
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“Am I A Jerk For Telling My Roommate That I Don’t Give A [Damn] About Her Boyfriend’s Allergies?”

The Internet Sides With Woman Refusing To Change Out All Of Her Cabinets Over Roommate's New Boyfriend's Allergies“I’m Not Going To Have My Diet Restricted By Someone Who Doesn’t Even Live Here”: Woman Snaps At Roommate’s Boyfriend’s DemandsWoman Refuses To Give Up Food That Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Is Allergic To Because He Doesn’t Even Live ThereWoman Refuses To Accommodate Roommate's BF's Allergies: Woman Is Called Out For Keeping Ingredients That Roommate's BF, Who Doesn't Even Live There, Is Allergic To And Putting Him At RiskWoman Turns Up The Drama On Roommate After She Refuses To Remove All The Ingredients Her BF Is Allergic To“He Doesn’t Need To Be Near My Things At All”: Woman Asks If She Is In The Wrong For Disregarding Her Roommate’s Boyfriend’s AllergiesWoman Has The Audacity To Demand Her Roommate Get Rid Of Food Her Boyfriend Is Allergic ToWoman Can’t Believe Her Roommate Would Be So Selfish And Endanger Her Boyfriend By Keeping Everything He’s Allergic To In The Kitchen
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Something as small and simple as a peanut can be deadly in the wrong circumstances. Food allergies are nothing to scoff at and often mean that those suffering from them need to be extra vigilant at all times. But there is a line where one’s perception of safety starts to interfere with the actual freedom of someone else. When this line is crossed, drama often follows.

An internet user wanted to know if she was being a jerk when she told her roommate that she did not give a damn about her boyfriend’s food allergies. As dangerous as those can be, OP added some other important context to explain why she was in the right.

Requesting that certain food items aren’t used around you is not unreasonable, but there are limits to how much you can restrict

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

A woman asked the internet if she was in the wrong for getting angry at her roommate’s boyfriend for making many allergy-related demands

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Image credits: Olga Nayda (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Weedezign_photo (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: ExpertPotato7447 (not the actual photo)

Food allergies in one shape or form are actually quite common

Image credits: GoodEats YQR (not the actual photo)

Food allergies is a somewhat vague term to describe a variety of abnormal immune responses to the stuff we eat. It can range from itchiness and some swelling to death at certain levels of exposure. Nuts, dairy, and some seafood are the most common, while others might be at risk from wheat, sesame, and even soy. In more developed countries, the rate of actual, measurable food allergies is 4-8%. However, in these nations, there is also a detected trend of people believing they have an allergy of some sort when they actually do not. While it might be an admirable way to get out of eating something you don’t like, it’s still not the same as a full-blown allergy.

We tend to overestimate the prevalence of allergies since they often show up in the media as a plot point, hidden weakness, or humanizing element. For example, in The Boys, where the deadly and mysterious Black Noir happens to be allergic to nuts (spoilers if you click that link), one of the few human aspects ascribed to his character that otherwise seems to exist only in a mask. However, it’s also often used as a trope in sitcoms, which tends to devalue how serious a food allergy can be. Exposure to just some peanut particles can kill a person with an allergy severe enough, hence those warning labels on foodstuff that say things like “may contain traces of peanuts.”

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The resulting stress of not knowing what might be in your food can have a mental toll on a person

Image credits: Eduardo Roda Lopes (not the actual photo)

The result is that people with these conditions can suffer mental health issues as many do not see their literal life-threatening condition as serious in any way. The constant fear of possibly dying because a handful of invisible particles in a room might asphyxiate you does create some mental health hurdles. Constant fear and anxiety are not good for anyone in the long run. It may be hard to eat food that one hasn’t prepared themselves or has been prepared by someone with the correct expertise and knowledge. Despite their best efforts, restaurants can and do often miscommunicate or misunderstand the food allergies of a customer.

Fortunately, regulations are expanding a bit. Most allergic reaction-inducing ingredients have to be listed, alongside ingredients that could cause other issues, like gluten or sulfates. In the US, as of this year, products containing sesame have to be labeled as such. However, cross-contamination is still possible and human error can still put people at risk. That all being said, OP was not in the wrong. If her apartment (which she pays for) is such a risk zone, the boyfriend should have simply gone elsewhere.

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OP answered some commenter’s questions about the situation

Most readers decided that she was not to blame, as her roommate had seriously started to step on her freedom

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

Read less »

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Tyke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it more concerning he's over "a few times a week"... she's going to have 2 housemates soon if she's not careful

Phil Vaive
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the sense I get. In a reply, the OP said that Kyle still lives with his parents, so I get the sense that Layla is trying to slowly move Kyle in without the OP really realizing it

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Pamela24
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what they're afraid of, exactly. Are they expecting OPs peanuts to jump out of a cupboard and force themselves into his throat?

Monday
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think Kyle just wants to stop paying attention to what's in the kitchen and just wants to eat whatever he feels like eating in the fridge. If they ban OP from using ingredients he's allergic to it becomes much easier for him to steal OPs food.

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Tabernus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like Kyle is still quite young and it's unfortunate he's allergic to things ... But he's going to have a really difficult life if he keeps on believing a) everything is going to kill him and b) everyone should accommodate him. Having a severe allergy sucks but you mitigate it, you carry an epi pen, you ask your gf housemate not to cook peanuts .... It's on you to stay alive and on them to make reasonable adjustments you've politely requested. The emphasis being on reasonable.

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Tyke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it more concerning he's over "a few times a week"... she's going to have 2 housemates soon if she's not careful

Phil Vaive
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the sense I get. In a reply, the OP said that Kyle still lives with his parents, so I get the sense that Layla is trying to slowly move Kyle in without the OP really realizing it

Load More Replies...
Pamela24
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what they're afraid of, exactly. Are they expecting OPs peanuts to jump out of a cupboard and force themselves into his throat?

Monday
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think Kyle just wants to stop paying attention to what's in the kitchen and just wants to eat whatever he feels like eating in the fridge. If they ban OP from using ingredients he's allergic to it becomes much easier for him to steal OPs food.

Load More Replies...
Tabernus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like Kyle is still quite young and it's unfortunate he's allergic to things ... But he's going to have a really difficult life if he keeps on believing a) everything is going to kill him and b) everyone should accommodate him. Having a severe allergy sucks but you mitigate it, you carry an epi pen, you ask your gf housemate not to cook peanuts .... It's on you to stay alive and on them to make reasonable adjustments you've politely requested. The emphasis being on reasonable.

Load More Comments
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