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Postpartum Wife Thinks Man Is Cheating As He Came Home Later, Slaps Him So Hard He Considers Divorce
Every relationship requires effort and trust, but it can be tougher to be a good partner if you already have too much on your plate. After giving birth, when your life has been uprooted and changed drastically, there might be way too much to handle. That’s often when couples have the most fights.
A man shared that he was at his wit’s end and considering separating from his wife after she had given birth because she kept suspecting him of cheating and eventually ended up assaulting him.
More info: Reddit
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Man is left heartbroken and pondering divorce after postpartum wife slaps him just because she had the feeling that he might be cheating
Image credits: Dziana Hasanbekava (not the actual photo)
30YO man shared that his 28YO wife began suspecting him of cheating after giving birth to their baby
Image credits: Jonas Leupe (not the actual photo)
He gave his wife full access to his phone and messages and kept updating her or sending her photos on days he was working late
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One day he had to work on a very stressful project and forgot to update his wife, and when he returned home, she freaked out and slapped him so hard he cried
Image credits: u/InteractionNods
After she assaulted him, the man slept on the couch and wondered whether to go ahead with a divorce
The Original Poster (OP) is a 30-year-old man who has been married for 2 years to a 28-year-old woman. He shared that they have been together for 5 years and that just a few months ago, she had given birth to their baby. But he noticed that his wife had become increasingly suspicious of him and kept accusing him of having an affair.
The man kept telling her he was not having an affair with the coworker she would accuse him of being with. To alleviate her suspicions, he gave her complete access to his phone and text messages. He shared that just because he returned late from work, she would keep suspecting him. That’s why he always updated her and sent her photos to convince her that he was just working.
After giving birth, around 1 in 7 women tend to experience an illness called postpartum depression (PPD). This is a medical condition where a woman might face heightened anxiety, sadness, and tiredness that lasts for a long time after giving birth. These stressful feelings make it hard for women to manage and often require intensive treatment. That’s exactly what the poster’s wife might be dealing with.
Because she also kept thinking that her husband was cheating despite his reassurances, another possibility could be that she has been suffering from postpartum Psychosis (PP). This is also a serious mental health condition that affects 1 in 1000 women after they give birth. It is characterized by severe mood swings, delusions, mania, and more.
The man also mentioned that one day he had to stay late at work, and because of an extremely stressful project, he forgot to send updates to his wife. When he reached home, she began freaking out and accusing him of cheating. He tried to hug her, and that’s when she slapped him so hard that he inadvertently began crying. That’s when he began questioning whether he should divorce her.
Image credits: Nik Shuliahin (not the actual photo)
The changes in his wife’s behavior, her suspicion that he was cheating, and her aggressive actions could point toward the onset of psychosis after giving birth. Research on postpartum psychosis has found that “women with PP, however, are more likely to express homicidal ideation than women with nonpsychotic childbirth-onset illness, such as postpartum depression.” This means that postpartum mothers experiencing psychosis are at greater risk of causing harm to others.
Studies on this form of psychosis have said that it’s necessary for women to opt for inpatient hospitalization. Ideally, a space where the mother and child can be together so that there is no disruption of their bond during the initial stages. Considering the need for support, the husband could encourage his wife to seek counseling from trained professionals.
Some of the reasons for the onset of PP can be the major physical and hormonal changes that occur after giving birth. These factors, coupled with lack of sleep and exhaustion, can lead to a very physically and emotionally challenging time for new mothers. Some of the symptoms of postpartum psychosis are:
- Hallucinations about seeing, hearing, or feeling things that aren’t there
- Delusions and suspicions that are unlikely to be true
- Mania where a person feels very overactive or “high”
- Low mood involving depression, anxiety, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping
It’s important for people to look out for these symptoms so that they can find the best support for new mothers. Commenters also encouraged the poster to hold off on getting a divorce and to take his wife for counseling. Some netizens even shared personal stories of their struggles with PP/PPD and how they worked through it.
The original post got 9.2k upvotes and 4.5k comments, and the question on many peoples’ minds was whether the man should go ahead with a divorce. How do you think he should handle the situation? Let us know in the comments.
People urged the man to seek psychiatric support for his wife and stated that she might be suffering from a severe mental health condition
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What do you think ?
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 8 months ago
Itd been said repeatedly but I can not over state the importance of getting her some mental health immediately. Her over the top PP issues aside thats a demented level of jealousy and insecurity that needs some help because it will eat her alive.
Sara Frazer 8 months ago
Yes! Post-partum depression can mess you up! I have one child, she's 11 now, but I can still remember how dark my mental state was after she was born. It lasted for a couple years, too. I know now that I really should've gotten help, but I was a scared 19-year-old who was supposed to be "overwhelmed with joy!!!!!!" I fantasized about killing myself every hour of every day. I scared myself. Even recalling it now (as a 30-year-old in therapy and with medication and a healthy relationship with her daughter!) it still gives me the shivers. In that time my self-harm was daily. Please, I know it's hard in the dark, but if you suspect yourself/someone you know of having post-partum depression (or any depression, really!) reach out to them, part of the reason I realize things were so dark for me was because I was alone
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
Here's the thing about psychosis, and why it didn't cause violence in this instance. I don't think it's conclusive that she was psychotic, but if she was, the delusion/break from reality is that her husband is cheating. That doesn't require violence, that just shows she's ok with violence if she's mad enough, it's revealed a tendency. Psychotic episodes where a person understands themselves to be in danger- being attacked or controlled etc or that someone is harming someone else, if she hadn't recognised her husband and thought he was an intruder, for example, then violence is an excusable response to a situation, even if that situation is not real. What this episode shows is that when she gets really angry and frustrated, she gets violent. That's not someone who should be raising a child. Please stop trying to excuse violence with a blanket mental health label. Lots of people live with conditions that include psychotic episodes, it doesn't make them violent.
Livingwithcfs 7 months ago
I suffered psychotic episodes after birth. I really lost the plot, I hit, I screamed, I tried to take my own life, I ended up on a psychiatric ward. It was horrible for everyone, but with help I was able to get out of it. After a few years I became a single mother. My child is now in their 30s and they are a happy well balanced person. Don't ever say a person with mental health issues should not be a parent until you know all the details of their life. A burst of violence during a bad break does not make them a truly bad violent person ... you have no idea of tge demons someone faces in those times, it's quite possible that the man she's lashing out at is not her husband - your not looking through her eyes, you don't know what she sees. She needs treatment and counseling before decision about her parenting ability can be assessed
Load More Replies...
John Harrison 8 months ago
The VAST majority of reactions to this ... I'd say over 90% ... include "Get her help!" And that is the correct response. Now ask yourself what the percentage is when it's a man doing the hitting. I'd say it's about 99% "Toss him out with the trash!" *shrug* I guess men don't have mood disorders with physiological and genetic causes, they just choose to be violent.
Michelle Teeter 8 months ago
The difference is that pp is a serious mental health problem and not a fault of the women. If a man has a break say someone with severe ptsd and had a break. Would you call that abuse or would you say he was also mentally ill and needed help. There is abuse then there is mental illness that if treated they never would have done x
Load More Replies... Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 8 months ago
Itd been said repeatedly but I can not over state the importance of getting her some mental health immediately. Her over the top PP issues aside thats a demented level of jealousy and insecurity that needs some help because it will eat her alive.
Sara Frazer 8 months ago
Yes! Post-partum depression can mess you up! I have one child, she's 11 now, but I can still remember how dark my mental state was after she was born. It lasted for a couple years, too. I know now that I really should've gotten help, but I was a scared 19-year-old who was supposed to be "overwhelmed with joy!!!!!!" I fantasized about killing myself every hour of every day. I scared myself. Even recalling it now (as a 30-year-old in therapy and with medication and a healthy relationship with her daughter!) it still gives me the shivers. In that time my self-harm was daily. Please, I know it's hard in the dark, but if you suspect yourself/someone you know of having post-partum depression (or any depression, really!) reach out to them, part of the reason I realize things were so dark for me was because I was alone
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
Here's the thing about psychosis, and why it didn't cause violence in this instance. I don't think it's conclusive that she was psychotic, but if she was, the delusion/break from reality is that her husband is cheating. That doesn't require violence, that just shows she's ok with violence if she's mad enough, it's revealed a tendency. Psychotic episodes where a person understands themselves to be in danger- being attacked or controlled etc or that someone is harming someone else, if she hadn't recognised her husband and thought he was an intruder, for example, then violence is an excusable response to a situation, even if that situation is not real. What this episode shows is that when she gets really angry and frustrated, she gets violent. That's not someone who should be raising a child. Please stop trying to excuse violence with a blanket mental health label. Lots of people live with conditions that include psychotic episodes, it doesn't make them violent.
Livingwithcfs 7 months ago
I suffered psychotic episodes after birth. I really lost the plot, I hit, I screamed, I tried to take my own life, I ended up on a psychiatric ward. It was horrible for everyone, but with help I was able to get out of it. After a few years I became a single mother. My child is now in their 30s and they are a happy well balanced person. Don't ever say a person with mental health issues should not be a parent until you know all the details of their life. A burst of violence during a bad break does not make them a truly bad violent person ... you have no idea of tge demons someone faces in those times, it's quite possible that the man she's lashing out at is not her husband - your not looking through her eyes, you don't know what she sees. She needs treatment and counseling before decision about her parenting ability can be assessed
Load More Replies... John Harrison 8 months ago
The VAST majority of reactions to this ... I'd say over 90% ... include "Get her help!" And that is the correct response. Now ask yourself what the percentage is when it's a man doing the hitting. I'd say it's about 99% "Toss him out with the trash!" *shrug* I guess men don't have mood disorders with physiological and genetic causes, they just choose to be violent.
Michelle Teeter 8 months ago
The difference is that pp is a serious mental health problem and not a fault of the women. If a man has a break say someone with severe ptsd and had a break. Would you call that abuse or would you say he was also mentally ill and needed help. There is abuse then there is mental illness that if treated they never would have done x
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