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Fiancé Says He Hates Everything About His Partner, She Just Says ‘Okay’ And He Totally Loses It
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Fiancé Says He Hates Everything About His Partner, She Just Says ‘Okay’ And He Totally Loses It

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Breakups can be either the best or the worst thing, depending on how the relationship has been going so far. The ones that happen without warning can be heartbreaking, but breakups that come after months of build-up are often best for both partners.

In this story, a man ended his four-year relationship after letting his rage and resentment toward his partner simmer for months. Based on his terrible behavior, his fiancée kind of expected the breakup all along, but her casual reaction to it angered the man even more.

More info: Reddit

It’s very easy to know if your partner is unhappy with your relationship, especially if they keep complaining about it all the time

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster and her fiancé, Alex, had been together for four years; he got his Doctorate and worked at a university while she skipped her PhD and began working immediately

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Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She noticed he had been behaving strangely the past few months and kept complaining about everything she did, but when she tried communicating, he would pretend everything was fine

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Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

One day, out of the blue, Alex told her he wanted to break up with her because he resented that she was making more money than him and that she hadn’t pursued her academic career

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster felt disgusted with Alex after his rant and the way he kept blaming her, so she just said “okay” to his decision to break up

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Image credits: Past-House-2508

Alex was angered by her indifferent reaction and later kept texting her either angrily complaining or trying to work out the logistics of their split

It’s definitely not easy to put up with someone who is constantly finding fault with everything you do. Alex kept complaining about anything and everything the OP did, right from how she was sitting on the couch to her decision to go help her parents for a few days. He seemed to harbor a lot of negative feelings toward his fiancée, and she became uncomfortably aware of that soon enough.

Psychologists explain that complaining about something and expressing your true feelings to your partner can be a healthy thing to do. It becomes unhealthy when it’s in the form of put-downs or rude behavior toward the other person. This can often be a sign of old resentments or pent-up anger.

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The OP had reached a point in her relationship where she could no longer deal with Alex’s constant demands and criticisms. She had made peace with the fact that their relationship might come to an end, so when he said he wanted to break up, she wasn’t too surprised.

According to the Gottman Institute, couples who share constant negative interactions or criticisms are likelier to get divorced. They also shared that there is a magic relationship ratio where partners should have five or more positive interactions for every negative experience or conflict they have.

Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Alex seemed to harbor a lot of resentment toward the OP, from her career choices and finances to the fact that his friends loved her. All of these insecurities must have eaten away at him for months because when he finally brought up the breakup, all of these negative thoughts came flooding out.

One thing that he seemed to dislike the most was how the poster earned more than him and how she could have the “final say” when it came to their finances. Researchers found that men who believe in the traditional idea of masculinity experience lower psychological wellbeing if they are married to women who earn more than them.

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Everybody has their own insecurities and worries, but it’s important not to let those feelings affect the relationship with your partner. If your resentment toward your spouse seems to be taking over too much, it’s important to be more reflective and understand where these strong emotions are coming from. It can also help a great deal to go to couples’ therapy and work through the situation.

Even though nobody really wants to go through a breakup, the OP’s situation ended well because she got rid of an insecure man and could then adopt a cat. It definitely seems like things are looking up for her.

If you’ve got any weird or interesting breakup stories of your own, we’re all ears.

Everyone validated the poster’s response to Alex breaking up with her and said that he seemed like someone who loved stirring up drama

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Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

What do you think motivated Alex to break up with his fiancée?
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FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First red flag was that OP implied it would be ok to yell at her for watching Netflix if the house wasn't spotless. But this guy is unhappy and angry and blaming everything but himself. A clean break is a god-send. Take it.

Lila Allen
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Super interesting that one of his complaints was that all his friends really like her and won't let him talk badly about her. Which very much validates that he is a raging AH who wants to blame his choices on her and blame her for him not being more successful than she is.

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there is the possibility of a partner cheating on you, visit your doctor and have some tests done.You don't want their final 'gift' to you to be a nasty little disease. (Hopefully people will know what I'm on about, without me triggering the wrath of the BP censors.)

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FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First red flag was that OP implied it would be ok to yell at her for watching Netflix if the house wasn't spotless. But this guy is unhappy and angry and blaming everything but himself. A clean break is a god-send. Take it.

Lila Allen
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Super interesting that one of his complaints was that all his friends really like her and won't let him talk badly about her. Which very much validates that he is a raging AH who wants to blame his choices on her and blame her for him not being more successful than she is.

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there is the possibility of a partner cheating on you, visit your doctor and have some tests done.You don't want their final 'gift' to you to be a nasty little disease. (Hopefully people will know what I'm on about, without me triggering the wrath of the BP censors.)

Load More Comments
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