aedclif stating OP is the AH because the wife should have brought her own food rather than expect an elderly lady to figure out vegan food??? My Mum's 84 and she could figure it out... there's a big difference between being old and being a tw@t

Mom has zero respect for the wife, that's why their relationship has always been sour. OP is an idiot for assuming things would magically get better just because he got married, if anything that makes mothers more insane and clingy with their sons. OP did do well in standing up for his wife. Only way to solve this is to cut contact with the mother and state if she can't be nice to the wife, she's cut loose forever. If they all start talking again, ONE instance of mother being disrespectful will give her a lifetime ban from contacting them. If she can't behave to keep the peace, then she doesn't even love her son enough to rise above her own jealousy. This isn't about being vegan, or celiac, or having an allergy, this is about RESPECT for another individual's way of life. Pathetic.

I've been a vegetarian since I was 21, and am now in my 50's. I've been through things like this and much, much worse with e.ven my grandmother telling others that if I got hungry enough, I'd eat. Vegan and vegetarian stomachs don't work that way. And it's rude to invite people over knowing at least one can't eat

“YTA for not being vegan too” oh great… one of those. How do you think this person would feel if I reacted to every AITA post with “YTA because you aren’t kosher”? That would be insanely disrespectful, right? Ugh

If MIL really had found it difficult to make something vegan, she could have asked OP or DIL to give her a good vegan recipe, to come earlier and help prepare a vegan dish, or even to bring a vegan dish with them. But she didn't do any of those things, because she either just can't be bothered to accomodate DIL or she deliberately wants DIL to not have much to eat.

I have Muslim family members and my stepson's ex-gf was vegan. It was pretty easy to make food they could all eat during holidays and BBQs - I even set up section of food and drinks that were acceptable to eat and made sure there was no contamination during prep and cooking... the MIL is completely TA.

The mum could easily have used vegetable stock instead of chicken in the vegetable soup, she chose not to. Soup, salad and bread would have been an acceptable meal if she really couldn't work out how to make anything else vegan. Like others said, it was a power play to see if the husband would defer to his mother or his wife, luckily for his marriage he made the right choice.

Is it possible the mom doesn't fully grasp the idea of veganism?

I personally cant stand most vegans. The wife here seems like one I would do fine with. She wasn't causing a scene. Even prior to going vegan, she was a vegetarian. Most of what the mom served wouldn't work then either. It was a power move. The people saying YTA...YTAs. After being vegetarian for a while the wife literally would have a reaction the the meat and animal products. So, OP, good job at being a good husband. This seems like an excellent foundation for a long and strong marriage.

NTA Since Mom didn't manage to break up OP & Olga before the wedding (OP said they didn't get along but had hoped things wouldget better after the wedding - can't imagine why he'd think that - very unrealistic) she still seems to be trying to come between them (by being intentionally rude & disrespectful) hoping her baby boy will continue to come & eat all her wonderful cooking & just leave Olga at home. Ha - she blew that! OP stepped up & did absolutely the right & best thing possible: stood up for his wife, read Mom the riot act, & took his wife home. How did a woman like OP's Mom raise such an upstanding son?

"YTA for not being vegan" what an a*****e

I have issues with vegans, but a guest leaving hungry is a crime I will never knowingly commit. NOBODY goes hungry in my house if my wife and I can help it. Guests must feel welcome, and part of that is making sure that they get food that they can eat without worrying about whether it will harm them or cause them to break their own rules. I'm willing to make sure that my religious friends are served kosher or halal food in my home, and I'm willing to make sure that my vegan friends are served food that is made without the use of animal based products.

Honestly, there is a bit of mutual disrespect. It is in my opinion ridiculous, when people come up with personal food restrictions and then bully everyone around to respect them. I understand allergic reactions, a person could be sick or dead. But veganism and other nonsense should your personal affair, not a reason to bully everyone around. I was vegetarian for over 10 years, before moving to Siberia and realizing that wasnt sustainable here, but I never assumed ANYONE should catter to me. That is just plain rude. If I was going somewhere, were I knew other people were not vegetarian, I would ask about the menu and if it was not adapted to my PREFERENCES (for that is all that is) I would simply either eat in advance or ask if I could bring my own food. Also, chosing your new wife over the person who gave birth to you and putt all their effort into bringing you up... ugh