All the yta people missed are unaware that this isn’t just two animals it is 6. Some of which the daughter took a job to help pay the expenses. This was a condition of them getting some of the pets. The op said they understood their daughter not having a job. The op is at her limit all she is wanting is for the daughter to help with the animals and to start taking a little responsibility. Yes it is a bad situation but the responsibility doesn’t stop. It is not fair to the animals or the op. If the daughter wanted the animals she should take care of them. Yes she may be depressed but this is not an excuse that means she does nothing. If she won’t take care of a little responsibility then the animals should go elsewhere for their and the family’s well being too.

You know who is the AH here? A system in which a single mum has to take on a second job to pay for life saving medication and where both mother and daughter can't take time off and access proper support and counselling.

As a Type 1 Diabetic myself I feel for the daughter, that is a HUGE adjustment especially when you're on the cusp of adulthood. I don't think OP understands all the hidden struggles that comes with it. Type 1 Diabetes can be volatile and vicious even when you do everything right - especially when you're first diagnosed - and hormones and stress make it even worse. Those pets are likely a lifeline for her, and rehoming will only make her feel worse. That said, she did buy the pets, she needs to care for them in spite of her emotional struggles. I don't know what the answer is here, but I don't think OP or her daughter are handling this well. That said, as the parent, OP needs to be more patient, and maybe look into a support group for parents of diabetic kids. This isn't going to be an overnight fix, this is a lifelong, brutal change and OP needs to not let her frustration override her empathy.

It's manageable diabetes not cancer, she's not bedridden and almost an adult. She can very much do basic chores.

Harsh delivery but I think I see why. 100% nta. I have diabetes since I was 15. Type 1, the most f****d up one where by body completely stopped producing insulin. I understand the girl panic and adjustment she had to make. But this is not something that makes you handicapped to the point when you can't do anything. I mean if you care for this stupid disease.

It’s absolutely impossible for anyone to say whether OP did right or wrong because no one knows how the daughter is feeling, what she is literally capable or incapable of, and how her attitude is affecting her behavior. It’s very complex.

Minor yta here, I think. The intention behind it was good, but the execution was poor. At 17, you're heading into the 'prime' years of your life. You're supposed to be healthy, able to do whatever, live your life as you want to, but that's just been turned upside down for this girl. My brother was diagnosed at 19/20 with an incurable autoimmune kidney disease that has left him now in need of dialysis, a transplant, and being immunocompromised. Blew his career plans out of the water, he couldn't continue the job he had been doing everything he had been working toward was gone, and the lifestyle changes he needed to make were huge. It took him a very long time to adjust (years). And this in a country where he knew his medical needs would always be met and covered by the government! OP's daughter needs time to adjust, grieve the life she might have had, figure out the right treatment regimen for her, and come to terms with the fact that her diabetes may end up bankrupting her. 1/2

Chores and grades can slide while she adjusts, the caring for the animals cannot. This young woman is coping not only with physical illness, but also the grieving process as she comes to term with a life long and potentially life limiting illness. Her mum isn't around as much to provide her with the emotional support she needs, because she's having to work a second job to pay for her healthcare. This is an incredibly hard time for her, and she needs compassion. Losing pets she loves would feel unfair and may be devestating, but she has to care for them. I would suggest asking around the family/friends to see if anyone could take some of the pets for a couple of months, and offering that as an option.

Shocking and so shameful that a person has to take a second or third job to buy for insulin, or medication in that matter. Blows my mind. And yet, those people who are against proper health care are voted in. Selfish? because "i don't want to pay taxes for someone else to benefit from it?" As long as it's not you, yourself who never gets dangerous illness, or any ailment that requires a doctor and prescription medicine. Unbelievable. As @Ben Aziza mentioned even in Third World countries have this handled humanly.

I think that chores always have a way of making a difference for youth in our homes!

Type 1 Diabetic from the age of 15 here. The arguments in my house were over having so many sweets in the house. There was nothing that would stop me from doing chores. If I let my sugars get too high or low that was on me. Responsibilities could be delayed maybe, but excused never.

Very soft yta if i can call it that. Shes probably not doing great right now mentally then you threaten to rehome her pets. Even worse ones she paid for herself. God knows what'd happen to them if they were rehomed. I really struggle with housework and its a hard hurdle to get over but she hopefully will with patience and support. The daughter hopefully will push through it fast BUT I recognise the health of the pets are in dangered. If worst cones to worst maybe theres at least family or friends who can take care of em to make sure they're actually safe. Shelters and other stuff aren't great.

Tricky! On the one hand, it's not like the kid got hit by a truck, she's HAD this illness and is now getting help and support for it. Maybe the support group is having a negative effect, being surrounded by peers talking about how hard everything is can exaggerate the mental effects. On the other hand, a major diagnosis like this can absolutely slam you with stress and depression, leaving you unable to keep up with responsibilities. The mom needs to talk to her again and tell her she's not doing this to punish her or be the bad guy, but that if the kid physically and mentally CANNOT be responsible for the animals, then they will need to be rehomed for their own good. Just because she's sinking doesn't mean she gets to drag others down with her.

Sounds to me like the (only but also main?) mistake P makes here, is the choice of words. The parent acknowledging the struggle is as important as getting daughter to therapy. Telling that you understand the pain, tiredness, depression, is getting a third of the way. Then explaining your worries about the pets and how unfair it is to them, may get you another third. The rest will have to come from the daughter. Who should be old and wise enough. Pointing out how great she's been doing before may help as well.

Most people seem to forget that OP is as stressed as her daughter (if not more). This woman needs help, sounds like she's got a lot on her plate already. I hope she gets all the support that she needs

A chronic illness is really hard to learn to live with, it's life altering and you go through a grieving process - it takes time, it's exactly the same as a death of a family member because you looss your old self. It sounds like the daughter is struggling with depression as well as the illness, it's good she's getting therapy. As for the aminals yes they may need to be removed but is there someone how can take them for a bit? Seems drastic to get rid of them Las it's stressful for them and also punishes the other children, also it's likely to permanently damage OPs relationship with her daughter

Teenager got devastating news. Threaten to take away her pets. I can tell you from experience, that statement will stay with her forever. My health issue is different but father did the same thing. When I moved out, I cutoff all communication. Thinking,How could he do that when I just got horrible diagnosis? He didn’t care at all. Haven’t spoken to that man for 29 years now.

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she is the asswhole! Saying thee illness is not dramatic! Then starting off with, "I am going to re-home your animals." Who the f**k do u think u is!? If she was pregnant, yeah she can still do her chores, but she would need help every once in a while! BUT, your NOt the asswhole, because at the same time, yall had 6 animals and YOU were the only person taking care of them. BUT, yata because you shouldv'e been more caring. It is hard for u to be a single mother, and take care of 6 pets, but at the same time, it is hard for her to handle the illness, that could stop her from doing anything! You are both ta and nta!