42Kviews
I Illustrate My Darkest Thoughts To Help People Understand What It’s Like To Suffer From Mental Illness (40 Pics)
I've been living with mental illness for as long as I can remember. And mental illness brings many weird and dark thoughts in my head.
I started these drawings because I'm really bad at explaining those thoughts, and explaining by drawing has always been a lot easier for me. For the French people around here, I also made a French version on Webtoons.
I already made the first post about it some time ago, here it is.
More info: Instagram | French Webtoons | English Webtoons
This post may include affiliate links.
My illustrations allow me to express my feelings. I've never been great at talking about it, so drawing allows me that. I can hide behind my characters and then share it without having to show my face. With time, it also slowly became a way to inform about mental health issues and to remind people that they are not alone and that it's okay to not be okay. I'm really happy with that part because I wasn't expecting it at all!
Anxiety becomes a sumo wrestler putting you in a choke hold, no matter how hard you fight, he still has you in that choke hold. Trapped. Unable to go anywhere.
I've always been drawing and just never stopped. After high school, I was refused in art schools but kept drawing because I didn't see myself doing anything else. I'm always trying to make something that can be understood by as many people as possible: people who suffer from mental health issues, but also people who don't but may know someone suffering. It's sometimes challenging, but I like that.
I've always been drawing about my life, so the topics of depression and anxiety came naturally when my life became darker. Sharing it publicly took some time because I was scared to have my family and friends see it. I would describe my style as dark humor with a sketchy comic style. But I also like making cute illustrations in a more kid literature style—the opposite of these comics.
....Thank you.I'm not enough, I will never be enough, but thank you...
I started these illustrations around 2014, dared to share them after 2015 and will continue as long as I have something to share on these topics. Seeing people's reactions to my drawings is a huge boost and is very inspiring! It reminds me that I'm not alone and that what I'm doing is useful. It makes me really proud! I never imagined I would be able to help people since I feel like I am broken myself.
Sometimes anxiety just hits you like a f*****g train. Tackles you to the ground, pins you down, and there's nothing you can do to prevent it or shake it off.
If you want to create art—just get started and create! We get better by practicing and never stopping. Talent is just days of work. I personally draw things that are far from perfect, but I keep working.
I never thought that people would be so... self absorbed that they can't even...I don't know.
I'm a French '90s kid who got refused in art schools after high school and did his best to work as an artist anyway. It's still in progress today.
As I grew up in my twenties, life got darker, so I started drawing about it in English, so my French family wouldn't understand. It slowly got worse and I couldn't get out of my house after 2 big panic attacks that made me too sick and scared to go out. One of them was at one of my art shows, so I felt betrayed by my drawings. The other one was at a concert, so I felt betrayed by music, my biggest support in life. So I decided to get help and talked about it to my doctor. I discovered I had burned out, that I had depression, and that many of my issues were caused by anxiety and panic disorder. With time, I realized I was also facing gender dysphoria. I came out a trans guy, got kicked out of my parents' house by my dad and now draw about all of these strange thoughts in my head and hope to someday make a real living with all of my drawings. I evolved a lot in the last few years. I started hormones, got my own home, got a dog. Today, I think I can say the hardest is in the past. I'd like to try to go to more concerts. To start playing in a band again, to try to start really living.
Don't hesitate to talk about how you are feeling to people. We often fear bad reactions, but they are often more open than we imagine. Get help, it's all okay!
People ask me "Are you okay?" and my anxiety tells me not to say that I'm' never okay because then they'll ask me why and I'll have to answer questions nobody has found answers to yet, and my depression will never allow me to be okay.
I have a thing I like to call double depression. I'm always depressed, always sad. But sometimes for no reason, my depression gets so much greater that I can no longer even pretend to be happy or deflect it with humor or laugh with "friends" so they don't ask me about it.
I remember feeling like this. Just getting from one appointment to the next. Sending a message back from where I am now to say it started to feel like a shorter time, and then it felt like 'What am I going to tell him about?' and then 'Perhaps I could go every two weeks' and then 'Perhaps I can take a break'. Things are looking much brighter now
Yeah, it's always an unpleasant surprise when old man anxiety crashes at your pad.
I´m taking it one day at a time. That´s how. Otherwise it becomes overwhelming.
Friendly tip if anyone down here needs it: I’ve found that the urge to self harm gets stronger the more you think about it. When I feel like I might relapse I like to count how many 90 degree angles are in my bedroom, it’s easy and it works so if anyone down here was in the same position as me, don’t give up, seriously.
now im curious as to how many 90 degree angles there are in my bedroom
Load More Replies...I have a classmate who thinks people with depression are just making it up and dramatising and this makes my blood boil, although she's just very stupid and doesn't understand anything. She thinks I'm dramatising too when she asks me what's wrong and I tell her that I just feel awfully sick for sitting in that bloody classroom and doing nothing while the world outside needs people like me, ready to sacrifice themselves to fix it. I'm thinking about it all the time, but sometimes my face goes even gloomier than usual and people start asking me what's wrong. I don't think I'm suffering from even the mildest form of depression(although many people I know swear it's odd to be attacked by such dark thoughts on regular basis), but I still feel obliged to defend and speak for such people as if they were my closest allies. I just feel that their reaction to this broken world is just so normal and understandable. For our current general situation is real damn bad.
You are not forced to be mentally ill to defend people with mental illness and actually I'm happy to read you're willing to do this ! If you think you have depression, you can still try to talk about it to a professional, that could maybe be recomforting.
Load More Replies...Friendly tip if anyone down here needs it: I’ve found that the urge to self harm gets stronger the more you think about it. When I feel like I might relapse I like to count how many 90 degree angles are in my bedroom, it’s easy and it works so if anyone down here was in the same position as me, don’t give up, seriously.
now im curious as to how many 90 degree angles there are in my bedroom
Load More Replies...I have a classmate who thinks people with depression are just making it up and dramatising and this makes my blood boil, although she's just very stupid and doesn't understand anything. She thinks I'm dramatising too when she asks me what's wrong and I tell her that I just feel awfully sick for sitting in that bloody classroom and doing nothing while the world outside needs people like me, ready to sacrifice themselves to fix it. I'm thinking about it all the time, but sometimes my face goes even gloomier than usual and people start asking me what's wrong. I don't think I'm suffering from even the mildest form of depression(although many people I know swear it's odd to be attacked by such dark thoughts on regular basis), but I still feel obliged to defend and speak for such people as if they were my closest allies. I just feel that their reaction to this broken world is just so normal and understandable. For our current general situation is real damn bad.
You are not forced to be mentally ill to defend people with mental illness and actually I'm happy to read you're willing to do this ! If you think you have depression, you can still try to talk about it to a professional, that could maybe be recomforting.
Load More Replies...