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Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!
So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.
However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends.
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#1
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon
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#2
“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”
The Panarchist (He/They) 2 years ago (edited)
So what you’re saying is maybe I shouldn’t spend all my college savings on a trip to Mount Everest?
#3
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes
#4
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
#5
“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
#6
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
Immortal Emperor Paradox 2 years ago
Unfortunately it's gonna be disappointed once again tomorrow.
Mtg Wolfie 2 years ago
Oh. Trust me. I know. Within 2 weeks, my grandpa got a cancer diagnosis (his 3rd, this one stage 4), my MIL died, my great grandma died, my wife and I lost our daughter, I rolled my 4runner, our other car got repo'd, and my best friend died in my arms. Oh, and I was working 16 hour overnight shifts at the time (though that lasted for a month and a half. The rest was within 2 weeks of that 6 weeks).
Richard DiPippo 2 years ago
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…or horribly maims you.
#7
“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”
Raven DeathShade 2 years ago
"Engines are working at 110 percent, which is a little weird, but a bit of overkill never killed anybody." (If you get this quote, you get a cookie. A digital one, clearly. I don't know where you live).
#8
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
#9
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein
#10
“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”
#11
“If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields
#12
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
#13
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
Ansi 2 years ago
This is acctually inspiring for my procrastination. Tomorrow will NOT be a better day to do things. It's just like today. So you might as well do it today instead of tomorrow or after the weekend. I will NOT get some magical inspiration after the weekend, it wont be a better day. Just the same. So better do it today.
#14
“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”
#15
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
#16
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields
#17
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead
#18
“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”
#19
“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams
#20
“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman
Sydney-Kate 2 years ago
If you love the movie, READ THE BOOK! I had to read it for school and it was the only book I’ve ever actually wanted to read
#21
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker
#22
“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”
#23
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
#24
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute
#25
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket
#26
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler
LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago
That is true, ain't it. ... I'm gonna start being proud of those who deserve success.
#27
“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”
Laura Brown 2 years ago
Pretending I have it all together is exhausting, so I don't do that...🤪🤪
#28
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
#29
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
#30
“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia
#31
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
#32
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
#33
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield
#34
“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
Unless life gives you water and sugar, that's going to be some crappy lemonade.
#35
“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”
LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago
There's always someone who can do it better, and someone who can do it worse.
#36
“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill
Olgierd Wiśniewski 2 years ago
This makes sense, some problems appear only when we are looking for them
#37
“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”
LagoonaBlueColleen 2 years ago
People still, traditionally, work Friday. It would make more sense to say it's always Saturday.
#39
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”
#40
"Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti
What do you think ?
Mistralok 2 years ago
Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.
Curry on... 2 years ago
One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.
Anita Pickle 2 years ago
Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do s**t
Kevin Felton 2 years ago
If you don't want to be asked to do something, f**k it up the first time - My Grandmother
Israel Martinez 2 years ago
My favorite is … “if you can’t be a role model of how to be, be the example of what not to be” …
Wren Hard 2 years ago
we are all just su!cidal kids telling other su!cidal kids that its not the answer. -unknown
DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
I’m not suicidal and neither are most of the people I know.
Load More Replies...
Scotira 2 years ago
Is it me or were most of these just depressing or plain rude instead of funny?
Israel Martinez 2 years ago (edited)
Dark humor is like COVID … you either get it or just try your best to avoid it …
Load More Replies...
Mistralok 2 years ago
Failure is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Without failures in some form there would be no evolution and we would not exist. Here is a story of a good one: Alexander Fleming was doing research on ways to cure disease. He failed over and over again. He used petri dishes to spread and grow bacteria on them and study the reactions. After each try (and failure) the dishes would be cleaned and completely sterilized and he would try again. He left the cleaning to one of his subordinates. He placed a new batch into an incubator and left for holiday. When he came back and inspected them he was disappointed. (pissed off!) The petris hadn't been cleaned and sanitized properly and they were covered with mold. He was tossing them out when he noticed something. Where the mold grew, the bacteria did not. This was how penicillin was discovered. This particular f**k up has saved millions of lives.
Curry on... 2 years ago
One of my favs: I tried to keep an open mind, and all my brains fell out.
Anita Pickle 2 years ago
Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do s**t
Kevin Felton 2 years ago
If you don't want to be asked to do something, f**k it up the first time - My Grandmother
Israel Martinez 2 years ago
My favorite is … “if you can’t be a role model of how to be, be the example of what not to be” …
Wren Hard 2 years ago
we are all just su!cidal kids telling other su!cidal kids that its not the answer. -unknown
DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
I’m not suicidal and neither are most of the people I know.
Load More Replies... Scotira 2 years ago
Is it me or were most of these just depressing or plain rude instead of funny?
Israel Martinez 2 years ago (edited)
Dark humor is like COVID … you either get it or just try your best to avoid it …
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