Op didn’t need to explain her disability that’s BS, she apologized and said she needed it 2x, hopefully the other lady learned a lesson about judging a book by its cover

People have this idea that there is rampant abuse of "privileges" meant for people with disabilities - benefits, seats, toilets etc. But studies have shown again and again that this is incredibly infrequent. More harm is done by challenging someone who is making use of a space or service than one person in a thousand "getting away with" it. Having to constantly worry someone will question your disability, after often having spent months and years doing the same with doctors or employers fighting for diagnoses and accomodations, contribute to the anxiety and depression associates with disability. Just chill out. More than likely the person needs the seat. If you want to get mad at someone, get made at the train service for having. Too few carriages and seats for those who need them. Don't get mad at people trying to take the train.

I recently had a surgery that forced me to use the reserved seats for a while even though you couldn't see anything with my clothes on. I had my fair share of side eyes but I was ready to fight back the minute someone told me anything. They didn't. Just glaring a little, lol.

I'm on the fence about this one. Obviously the teen is NAH, but I do think she could have handled it a bit better. The elderly woman is not a mind reader, and it's so easy for any able-bodied person to just claim they need it. And to be fair, if you are sitting in a seat for disabled people, you are letting everyone around you know you are disabled (or an AH who won't move). Personally, I'd rather everyone know I had a prosthetic than believe I was an AH in this case. Also, does this girl not have a disability card? In cases like this, something along those lines could prevent situations like this.

The worst is being overweight and having an invisible disability. People automatically assume that the disability is the weight, and they make nasty comments about how if I'd get off my fat a$$ and exercise, I wouldn't be disabled. In my case, the one has nothing to do with the other. My messed-up hip is from a car accident, and my mental health issues are... nobody's business. I don't visibly limp unless I'm really tired, but I still use the wheelchair stall because the toilet is higher and I need the safety bar because the hip sometimes gives out as I'm standing up. But I hear so much c**p walking out of that wheelchair stall because they assume I'm in there because of my size.

have done this tons of times, but th e amount of times of people telling me to get out of MY WHEELCHAIR SO THEY CAN SIT IS SOOOO HIGH! iv lost count of people telling me to get out of my chair so they can use it or sit in it instead, iv even had people STEAL IT FOR OTHERS FROM THE BATHROOM OR IF IM MOVEING FROM IT! They will also steal my cane

100% NTA. Why should disabled peeps HAVE to share their disability with anyone? I'm disabled, and I do not want to share the details with strangers. Maybe it would be better if we were given disability carry-in-your-purse/wallet-cards (not stating the actual disability, but letting peeps like that woman know you are entitled to the special seat). NO YTA. Jeeze.

I'd say she is the opposite of an AH. She taught the woman a valuable lesson, that you fücking believe another person, when they say they NEED the seat.

While I have a disabled parking tag, I try to use regular parking and walk, when I can. Frequently I find when I'm done shopping that I've over done it but still have to walk back to my car and load up the groceries. When I do use the handicapped spots, I get dirty looks from people because I look fine and dandy, and sometimes I feel that way... before an hour of shopping leaves me wiped out.

Where I'm from, we have laws about disclosing medical information FROM A MEDICAL INSTITUTION ... reason being, nobody needs to know ... if I'm disabled, that's all you need to know ... if we can't demand proof a dog is actually a service animal, why are we asking for proof of disability from a human being ... GTFOOHWTBS ...

NTA. Just as "No" is a complete sentence, so is, "I have a disability." It was absolutely none of the shrew's or conductor's business what that disability was. Forcing a person to disclose their disability in the US is an ADA violation. That conductor would have been reported.

It really sucks, but being young and having an invisible disability means sometimes you do need to say more than "I need this seat". It isn't right, but it is the state of the world

NTA. All you are required to say, even to the train conductor, is that you have a disability. You do not need show you prosthesis or engage any further.

What someone's disability is, concerns nobody and they do not have to disclose it other than to confirm they have a reason for using a disabled facility. I have a restriction after a bad cycle accident than means I need more space in a loo than most cubicles allow, so I have to use a disabled loo. I look totally normal to most people (outside of when I'm in the loo). I'm damned if I'm going to explain why I need to use a disabled loo to anyone who sees themselves as the guardian of who can use disabled facilities or not. I am happy to confirm I need to use the facility, but not why.

The last YTA are just crazy. She showed it in the end, and very quickly to

I’m 63. I’m also healthy and don’t need the elderly and disabled seats, so I don’t sit in them. I would never try to shame someone sitting in one, though, as not all disabilities are obvious. Now, if it was someone I knew damned well didn’t have a disability, and they were just being an a*****e taking a seat—-or parking space—-they’re not entitled to, then oh hell yeah I’d shame TF out of them for it and make them move. If the woman who tried to get OP to move was only in her forties or fifties, and was trying to get the seat by claiming she was elderly, then she was trying to sit somewhere she wasn’t entitled to, as forties or fifties are not elderly—-and that’s coming from a 63 year old who isn’t anywhere nearly being considered elderly yet.

You should not have to reveal medical information to strangers to be seen as “disabled enough” to use a seat. I hope that conductor receives a reprimand.

When did people stop minding their own business? Lordy. NTA

The people saying YTA are clearly not remembering how it felt to be a teenager and embarrassed by every little difference or how awkward it was. Hell, I was so embarrassed to talk about my PERIOD, something that pretty much every woman goes through. I can't imagine saying that you're missing a leg is any easier. In the conductor's defense though, who knows what the woman said to them before they got there. I'm sure it was some "They ran past me and jumped in the seat and called me an old hag!" or something.

Nah I'd have asked where the older woman's birth certificate or proof she needed the seat more

In the included posts, NatashOverWorld had the best response. No rando needs or perhaps deserves to know your disability. However, it's more than okay to disclose it to a worker/an official; they are not randos, but paid and trained people. The official in this specific case is there for many reasons, one of which is to help maintain order to the train and its passengers.

For me hard situation. For me neither is an AH. There are way to many a******s who would took a place just because they want to, so the old lady had her doubts and I fully understand it, but also our hero didn't have to explain herself.

Not understanding believe y t a results. The woman asked her to get up and she told her that she was sorry but she too needed the seats and that's all she owed the person. She was under no obligation to describe what her disability was or why she needed the seat. Anybody that said yta just out of themselves as being the ones who would clearly be embarrassed because of their own behavior and that's why they passed that judgment. To them I would say gfy.

The only thing in retrospect that she could have done right away to save drama would been to say, immediately, “this seat is also reserved for those of us who are disabled, not just the elderly or frail”. But it canhard to think quickly when you are uncomfortable or flustered: Too many times, the elderly (no disrespect intended ) forget that disabled reserved spaces and seats are also for the disabled. It definitely can be challenging, because each person in the category has a legitimate need for help.

According to all of the replies here and in the original forum, I, as a person with no disability can use any particular space that is designated for the use of people with disabilities with impunity simply because no other person has the right to question me on it and I have no responsibility to justify my use of the space. Seems to me that municipalities and businesses can save themselves some money by not even designating the spaces and not incurring the associated costs that go into them.