From action films to the hero rescuing the love interest from imminent danger in a romantic drama, our media is chock-full of heroes. Naturally, a lot of people might fantasize about taking action and being the savior in a high-risk scenario. Unfortunately, people, and men in particular might overestimate their abilities.

A woman shared one such example when her boyfriend wanted to fight off an armed mugger and she intervened to get them out of the situation. He was deeply unhappy to not get his chance to play the hero, so OP turned to the internet to ask if she was really wrong for de-escalating the situation.

Playing the hero is a common fantasy

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

One woman ended up having an argument with her boyfriend after she prevented him from attacking a mugger

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

Image credits: SuperZero561456

People were shocked at her boyfriend’s perspective and wanted more details

Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)

OP later gave an update after talking with him about the event

Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

Image credits: SuperZero561456

Everyone loves a hero, which is why they dominate our media

Heroes are popular, ultimately, because we enjoy seeing people and things that are larger than life. Feats of strength, altruism, and evil being defeated all come together for us to create or venerate people and characters that are heroic. Evolutionarily, humans can understand the need for someone to take risks and put their life on the line for either another person or a whole group. This was just as true in the past as it is now. Achilles, Robin Hood, and Florence Nightingale are all known for a reason. In this day and age, the superhero genre is a global giant for a reason, we admire and can often relate to someone using their abilities to do great feats.

Naturally, many people would want to emulate this sort of behavior, hence the term “play the hero.” Generally, however, this idea has a somewhat negative connotation. People might be interested in “being the hero” because it comes with fame, respect, and other benefits. This can be seen as an ulterior motive, since “true” heroism comes from self-sacrifice and altruism. As a result, most of us understand that being a hero is just as much a question of ability as it is of character. Now, OP’s boyfriend may even have good motivations, but of the two things listed above, it seems he lacks ability. He might be strong, but anyone with a lick of experience or common sense will know that a knife tends to triumph in these situations.

Image credits: imdb (not the actual photo)

Trying to fight someone with a knife is ill-advised and downright dangerous

Setting aside the question of “Are you really going to risk literal death over a wallet,” self-defense experts tend to recommend that one does exactly as OP did. Ironically, as a woman, OP is perhaps more knowledgeable about techniques to protect herself. When it comes to many forms of assault and violence, women are often the majority of the victims. Even without direct experience with assault, this means that many women are more aware of the danger in certain situations and may already know how to react. In contrast, OP’s boyfriend seemed to believe that his natural abilities were enough to deter a mugger. While we don’t know the actual physical strength of him and the mugger, it’s common sense that criminals will not pick “fair” fights and likely chose this couple because they believed they would have an advantage.

The other questionable part is that OP’s wannabe hero boyfriend could not accept her actions. It seems part of his internal fantasy required his partner to be a passive viewer of his actions. Most of us do not like being treated as observers in our own lives and his inability to accept that points to perhaps more deep-seated issues. Similarly, the fact that he was insulted points to a significant degree of insecurity. It’s very human to be insecure, but one can’t be a hero, much less a functional adult if we allow our insecurities to define us. OP’s follow-up is pretty revealing of his mental state where, instead of accepting that he and OP were victims of a crime, that it simply did not happen. Who knows what idiotic thing this man might do in the future, but OP would be best served to not be around when it happens.

Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

Most readers thought she made the right call

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