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“We Have Been Together For 30 Years”: 30 Times People Realized There Was Going To Be A Second Date
Interview
Think about the last date you went on. How long did it take for you to decide whether you'd like there to be a second one? According to a survey by OnePoll, the average American knows this 19 minutes into the date. The top three characteristics people are looking for in their dates are manners, personality, and conversational skills.
Some of the red flag topics that would potentially ruin a person's chances for a second date include bringing up sex, religion, and exes. Interestingly, people also say they are more likely to go on another date with someone who is environmentally friendly. 76% of the respondents found this an attractive trait in a potential partner.
However, there are always many other reasons. Curious to know what they may be, one netizen decided to ask: "What is something your date did or said that made you go 'I’m definitely going on another date with this person'?" People's answers ranged from wholesome to incredibly sweet. Even if you're not a romantic, these stories are bound to make your heart flutter at least a little bit.
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#1
This girl I was dating a few years ago did an impression of a T Rex on our third date, and she went ALL OUT. Little arms at her chest, big dino steps, full effort roar. I knew I'd marry her from that moment.
We got married last summer. We have a little dinosaur on the way this October.
RELATED:
#2
I met a guy on match.com. We talked for a bit and finally met in person. Honestly, I was kind of "meh" on him. He seemed a bit standoffish. We went out to dinner a restaurant I liked, had a great meal and then he asked if I wanted to go for ice cream. I was like "sure" so we went to a nearby ice cream shop, had some ice cream and talked some more. I was still on the fence about him.
So, we finished our ice cream, it was after 10pm and we were getting ready to head out. He looked at me and said, "I had a really great time tonight and want to see you again. How does 7pm next Saturday sound? I can pick the restaurant this time."
I did admire his directness and figured "Why not?" So, I said yes, we went out the following Saturday and he was like a different person - much more relaxed, chatty and open. I later found out he was a *nervous wreck* on our first date because he really liked me and didn't want to "mess it up" (his words!).
Well, he didn't mess it up. We've been married almost 20 years now and have two great kids. :-).
#3
We were at his home, alone for the first time. His friends called, he was on the phone for a second, then when he hung up he said "I am so sorry, I gotta go, my friends have been drinking and they dont want to drive, I'll go pick them up, I'll drop you off on the way."
We ve been married 10 years now and that was the moment I fell in love.
It might seem silly, but I was really impressed how he didn't hesitate, like of course his friends could count on him, even when he had the house to himself with his date, he was still thinking "my friends need help". And he is mature and responsible, he worried that they might try to drive while drunk.
I thought this is a reliable man who has his priorities right.
And he has proven himself to be exactly that over the years we've been together.
We reached out to the Redditor who started this thread, u/ionlywanttheneck. They kindly agreed to tell us more about why they decided to ask others about their dating experiences. The Redditor says they recently had a conversation with their now-girlfriend about their first date.
"I was talking with my GF on why I was sure I'd go on a second date with her. Then, I thought this might be fun to ask others. Turned out to be a fun question with a lot of great stories from everyone [who] commented."
The story of their first date sounds like it was taken from a book or a movie. "She lived one hour away when we first met on a dating website," u/ionlywanttheneck tells Bored Panda. "Come to find out, her previous apartment that she lived in is my current apartment complex."
#4
I went on a first date with my now husband at 18. I'd been on dates before but they (being teenager dates) were always pretty awkward, even if we liked each other and we're doing fun things.
The thing about this date was that, it was kind of weird and seemed like it shouldn't go well. First, I was waiting outside for him to pick me up. He asked if he should introduce himself to my family, and I said no because I had a bad family situation and it wouldn't be beneficial for anyone to do that, but I thanked him for asking. He immediately was fine and we drove to the restaurant.
I complimented the stickers on his console, they were for some rock bands and looked cool. He thanked me and said normally people just compliment the car because it was a Corvette and didn't like his stickers. I had no idea what kind of car it was and apologized but he said it was fine, the car was a handmedown from his brother so he didn't care about it and liked that I liked them.
We get to the restaurant and I warn him, embarrassed, that I'm a messy eater. I don't mean to be, in fact I try very hard to be careful, but I've always a bit of a disconnect between my hands and mouth, and always end up with a bit of sauce on my shirt (I didn't know it then, but I know now I have ADHD). He said that was cool and wasn't judgy at all, even when my tomato fell off my BLT into my lap, and we laughed about it together.
After a bit of small talk, he said he likes to be direct and of it's ok if he asks more personal questions about what we want out of life and stuff. I was thrilled, I hate the "waiting several dates before talking about serious stuff" thing because it always felt like a waste of time. We talked about religion (none for both) marriage (maybe but not for a while), kids (no for both), life goals (both to find nice, relaxing jobs to make enough to focus on hobbies and some travel), politics (left leaning). We weren't the same in every way though, when it came to hobbies I like reading, movies and crafting. He liked video games, d&d and coding. We both were very interested in the others hobbies as well. I felt really at ease with him, even when I had answers he didn't quite agree with, he was very interested in what I had to say.
When we leave, we had planned to hang out at a park after but it was raining. As we were walking to the car, he paused and said "Ive never kissed someone in rain before". I was blown away at how romantic it felt and we had a perfect, sweet kiss.
We hang out in the car a bit longer before he dropped me back at home. He thanked me for a wonderful time and kissed me again (again sweet and not asking for more). I was giddy, once inside I immediately called my best friend to gush about it. She thought the date sounded weird, but was happy for me. I then said I really wanted to text him *right then* because I liked him so much. My friend was horrified, and said I couldn't text until at least tomorrow and to preferably wait for him, or else I would seem desperate. Literally not 5 minutes late while still talking to her, I get a text from him saying "I think I'm supposed to wait longer before texting, but I couldn't help it, I just wanted to tell you again what a good time I had".
It all felt so magical, not because it looked like something in a movie, but because it looked exactly how I would write a romance for me. 10 years later, we are still incredibly happy together.
#5
As we were driving to dinner a car swerved into our lane causing him to have to brake hard, he automatically put his arm out over me. It was something my mother always did. To me, it symbolized an unthinking care and thoughtfulness.
We will be married thirty years this month and he is truly thoughtful, empathetic, and caring. I told him he is simply a good man. That is high praise to me. Nothing better than a genuinely good person.
#6
He just made me laugh the kind of laugh where I throw my head back and laugh from my heart and belly. He still makes me laugh like this.
"On top of that, we both met for dinner wearing the same color plaid shirt, jeans, and shoes. Both of these factors together made for such an easy icebreaker and for us to immediately kick it off. We now have a baby on the way and live together (at my apartment, where she used to live 1 year prior). It really felt like we were waiting for each other and the stars aligned."
Because u/ionlywanttheneck said they met their partner online, we were curious to know what they think about dating apps. Can they really be effective when you're looking for true love? "I think so," the Redditor tells us. "It worked for us. I just think you need to be very intentional on your dating profile, including what you're looking for, your interests, your hobbies, etc."
"Dating is hard," the netizen admits. "You're gonna swing and miss a lot before you find the one. Just don't get discouraged."
#7
When we had our first date, it was actually our first time seeing each other in person.
He met me outside of my office right when my shift ended… and literally ran across the street to me with the biggest, brightest smile. He took me in his arms and hugged me so hard that my feet dangled in midair, and in the sweetest and most excited voice he said:
“It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
Ten seconds in and I was COOKED. I loved that he never tried to play it cool or aloof. He never hid that he was happy to see me.
He literally swept me off my feet.
That was three years ago, we’re getting married in October.
#8
The first time my (now ex-, but we were married for 16 years and have kids together and I don't regret it) wife visited my apartment, my one cat that was notorious for disappearing when anybody came over (even the pet sitter who he knew well and liked) promptly jumped on her lap and started purring at her. She had no i idea what to do with cats at the time and said so, but just went with it and they became friends right away. If he thought she was a keeper, who was I to argue with him.
Pamela24 6 months ago
I love stories of people who broke up but still respect each other and don't demonize each other or the time spent together. I completely understand there are terrible relationship where this shouldn't be done but sometimes it just doesn't work out. And there's no shame in that.
#9
First date with my partner
i told him i had trauma and cptsd and adhd etc. he asked “what does that mean for you?”
instead of judging, asking probing questions, or ignoring it completely, this man asked me how this impacts my life, in an effort to genuinely understand me and my mind
our 6th anniversary is next month.
#10
On our first date, some of her ice cream dripped onto her sleeve. Nonchalantly wiping it up, she told herself, “can’t take me anywhere…”
I smiled. She’s been my wife for 7 years now.
#11
He said he couldn’t hang out the next night because he was making dinner for his grandma and mom and aunt.
Definitely a green flag. We have been married for 20 years.
#12
He quoted my favorite poet, TS Elliot, at the dinner table on out first date. I finished the quote. He stared at me across the table for a stunned moment. I swear that was the very moment we fell in love with each other.
Auntriarch 6 months ago
First date with Mr Auntriarch was A Midsummer Night's Dream (we'd been given tickets). We were laughing ourselves silly, unlike most of the audience. It wasn't exactly "the" moment, but certainly we knew we wouldn't mind spending more time together.
#13
We lost ourselves in conversation for hours and the bar was closing. Just laughing and talking about all kinds of things.
As I was leaving, one of the women on staff whispered to me "I think that went really well!" with a big smile.
Sue User 6 months ago
Oh, this happenned to me too. Met a guy at a bar. We got a drink, started talking. Conversation is going easy, he say " shall we go somewhere else to talk?" I said" no, lets stay here" he replied" well, they are closing". I look around and they are putting chairs on tables and the lights were on. Turns out we had been talking for hours. It was just so effortless. We went for breakfast and dated for years.
#14
I was in the midst of a divorce, living separately, went through some hard times. A coworker had my number (we work in substance use treatment so we have to have numbers.) I was laying in bed one night and she asked if I was okay in text. (We never really talked at all at work but I took leave because I was feeling suicidal and needed some time for mental health.) I replied “no I’m really not.”
The next day she replied and said “meet me here” and gave me an address to a restaurant in BFE. She asked what was going on, I told her I’m crippled financially, lost my home, and can’t afford my dissolution fees, and I feel alone.
We went on to eating, I didn’t think of it as a date just a friendly gesture, but god damn was she so naturally beautiful, that smile felt like home to me something I’ve longed for, for 26 years. When we finished we walked outside and she handed me a piece of paper, it was a check for $400 and she said “file those papers, go back to work so I can see you more” and then she gave me a hug all while saying “you have my time whenever you need, it’ll be okay.”
Every night after work we met in a parking lot at an Italian restaurant (she was 36 in a bad situation so she lived with her mom, and I was living with my mom due to losing my house.)
We spent almost every night together since, even if it was for an hour - it felt like an eternity which also didn’t feel long enough.
We’ve lived together now for almost a year.
CaliCoast 6 months ago (edited)
When I started dating my fiance, after bring friends for over a decade, I finally felt complete. I've always been financially stable and incredibly independent but somehow he gives me what I need to feel whole. It's OK to lean on each other. Finding someone who truly supports you is priceless. I'm glad you found each other!
#15
He kept talking about anything. He seemed so enthusiastic about learning and sharing what he learned. To me, it said that he's very smart but not arrogant about it. I don't consider myself a smart person, but he didn't seem to care. Actually, it was the enthusiasm that piqued my interest. I definitely want to keep talking to him.
Jeevesssssss 6 months ago
Enthusiasm/passion for something (except obv Maga and other stuff that spreads hate...) is so attractive.
#16
I mentioned a tv show off hand. He went home and watched it and texted me later about how much he was enjoying it.
#17
I used to think this kind of thing was dorky, but he wanted to drive me to my car even though it wasn't far at all. Then when he dropped me off, he asked if he could kiss me. I'd literally never been asked that before (I was 35!) and it floored me how endearing it was in the moment.
He is still just as sweet and considerate. We are 2 years strong and expecting our first baby. I really, really love this man. 💗.
#18
Oh this one is gonna be good, I was on a date with a girl I liked and I got a ping on discord from the boys asking if I can join online, as I’m typing to explaining I can’t she grabs my wrist and tells me no wait one moment, then walks out and comes back with a gaming laptop. I knew then and there. 3 years later we are now happily married.
#19
For our first date, we got coffee and walked around a Barnes & Nobles for a little while. We were browsing some books by the entrance when a bus pulled up and an elderly man with a walker stepped off. I saw him struggling to open the door and took a step to help. My date, who’s back was to the entrance, whirled around and BOUNDED over to the door, holding both sets open and helping the man through. We’ve been together for over five years now <3.
Howl's sleeping castle 6 months ago (edited)
This is important. Me and ex were traveling by metro. It was crowded. I saw an elderly person near me and offer him my seat. My ex asked me what happened, I said nothing I stood near him. He didn't bother offering me his seat or to any other person in need (there were a few).
#20
On our first date he stopped while walking to pet a strangers dog, it had me hooked.
Farah the Turtle 6 months ago
pet loving people are just... wooh! *takes off jumper bc its too hot here*
#21
I had gotten out of a pretty emotionally/mentally/controlling abusive relationship at the time. So needless to say, I had some apprehension putting myself out there, again. The thought of being vulnerable to someone again was scary.
We spent maybe 30 minutes to an hour at the restaurant. The remaining 5 hours of our date was spent talking in the car about anything and everything. By the time we both (begrudgingly) parted ways for the night, we had a breakfast date planned for the next morning, and it felt like I had known this man for years. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to fully relax around a guy, especially on a first date. So it wasn't anything specifically that was said or done, it was just the way we opened up so easily to each other, even about insecurities, past relationships, etc. He just made me feel...comfortable.
We're coming up on our one year anniversary here in a few days. The road hasn't been completely smooth, as the first healthy relationship after an abusive one can be pretty rough when you've experienced/learned nothing but toxic coping mechanisms and have to unlearn them. But man, I think this is the first time I can truly say I know what it feels like to be loved by a partner fully.
Farah the Turtle 6 months ago
people who make u feel like that are diamonds. Keep them safe. Dont break them
#22
Most men hide their sad back story or any vulnerable parts of themselves, but he opened up about being orphaned and his mother's mental illness and how he manages without support and 3 hours later I didn't want to leave the table. His confidence in being honest was so hot. It didn't come across like a sob story.
Farah the Turtle 6 months ago
We have to start normalising that men are human and have feelings too!
#23
He came up to me, introduced himself and told me he’d marry me one day. Apparently he’d had a premonition on the way to the pub that he would meet his wife. No idea who she was. Honestly I thought he was mental, but he was just so confident about it. Not cocky, just sure that he was right. We’ll be together for 18 years this year and he’s still my favourite person. We laugh daily and he’s my biggest cheerleader.
Katie Lutesinger 6 months ago
Sometimes you just know. I have a friend who went to a party some years ago and he saw a girl there he'd never met before. He said the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew that girl was the one for him. And he was right. They're married now.
#24
I am a professional historian. I mentioned Roman toilets and we had a long conversation about them, because he is a history buff too. That’s how I knew he was the one! Together for 3 years. Just got engaged two weeks ago.
#25
It just felt right being together after about 5 minutes into the date.
It's been 13 years since that first date and the feeling still hasn't changed.
#26
She insisted on paying for dinner, then busted out a mini travel backgammon set from her purse and asked if I knew how to play.
#27
He gave me flowers that he picked and tied a bow around, then took my hand to lead me into the restaurant. We’ll be married 14 years in October.
#28
1985, he liked rock music, I like country music. He borrows The Judds cassette from his brother and has it playing when we get in the car. Been married 36 years.
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago (edited)
My wife used to listen to my favorite band, but hadn't in a while. She listened to a lot of country but I wasn't a huge fan. When we were dating, we burned each other CDs (this was 2015, but we're Millenials, what else are we gonna do?). Mine was all of the awesome songs she's missed since she stopped listening to my favorite band. Hers was country songs outlining her life from birth to present, including her past marriage and divorce and meeting me. Some of our favorite songs now are on each of those CDs.
#29
She yelled at some teenagers to be quiet in the movie theater. We are married now.
#30
On my first date with my current bf I was so nervous I spent the first HOUR infodumping about the plot, extended universe, and lore of the Dune novels.
For some reason he was into it lol.
What do you think ?
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago
If you're in a relationship and reading this thread didn't automatically make you text your SO that you miss them and love them or whatever, then you need to re-evaluate your feelings about that relationship. One of my favorite threads I've read on BP in a while.
Hey! 6 months ago
He's right besides me on his laptop (our office is ~20' long) and I read some of these to him... 35 years and hoping for more.
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ConstantlyJon 6 months ago
If you're in a relationship and reading this thread didn't automatically make you text your SO that you miss them and love them or whatever, then you need to re-evaluate your feelings about that relationship. One of my favorite threads I've read on BP in a while.
Hey! 6 months ago
He's right besides me on his laptop (our office is ~20' long) and I read some of these to him... 35 years and hoping for more.
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