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Mom Is Devastated After Daughter Refuses Food Because School Sent Her A Letter Over Her 2 Lb “Weight Problem”
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Mom Is Devastated After Daughter Refuses Food Because School Sent Her A Letter Over Her 2 Lb “Weight Problem”

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This woman swore to herself that she would do everything in her power to allow her kids to enjoy their life free of eating disorders. She knows how much of a toll they can take; she had one.

So you can imagine how devastated the woman was when her 3rd grader stopped eating because the girl started thinking she was “too fat”. However, the mom’s emotions turned even rowdier when she learned that the little one got this ‘lesson’ at school.

This elementary school decided to measure its 3rd graders’ BMI

Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

And everyone whose numbers were above the norm received an envelope

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Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: defleppardfan94

The school may have had the best intentions

You can understand where the school is coming from. Childhood obesity has been called one of the most serious public health challenges of the 21st century.

Obesity can harm nearly every system in a kid’s body—heart and lungs, muscles and bones, kidneys and digestive tract, as well as the hormones that control blood sugar and puberty—and can also take a heavy social and emotional toll.

What’s even worse, youth who are overweight or obese have substantially higher odds of remaining overweight or obese into adulthood, increasing their risk of disease and disability later in life.

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Obesity is a common problem among American kids

Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

This issue is especially bad in the United States. In the 1970s, 5 percent of U.S. children ages 2 to 19 were obese.

According to the CDC, for the same age group in 2017-2020:

  • The prevalence of obesity was 19.7% and affected about 14.7 million children and adolescents;
  • Obesity prevalence was 12.7% among 2- to 5-year-olds, 20.7% among 6- to 11-year-olds, and 22.2% among 12- to 19-year-olds;
  • Obesity prevalence was 26.2% among Hispanic children, 24.8% among non-Hispanic Black children, 16.6% among non-Hispanic White children, and 9.0% among non-Hispanic Asian children.

(The organization defines obesity as a body mass index (BMI) at or above the 95th percentile of its sex-specific BMI-for-age growth charts.)

But the way the administration went about it is wrong and can cause even more trouble

Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

However, good intentions aren’t enough to find a solution. The way this school attacked the problem among its students may have only made it worse.

Many people assume that you should approach eating disorders just like you would any other topic that could impact kids or teens—by talking about it. After all, you’re encouraged to talk about everything from dating and sex to vaping and drinking.

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But when it comes to general education about eating disorders, that may not be the best strategy.

Teaching kids or teens about eating disorders can lead to them  adopting these behaviors

Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual photo)

“Eating disorder education is tricky,” said Lauren Muhlheim, Psy.D., who is a psychologist and certified disordered eating specialist with Eating Disorder Therapy LA. “There is no research to support the idea that teaching children general information about eating disorders is helpful, and there is evidence to suggest it may be harmful.”

She explained that teaching a child or teen about eating disorders can lead to the adoption of these behaviors.

Instead, Dr. Muhlheim suggests that people instead teach kids about the dangers of dieting, a behavior that is the most common gateway into an eating disorder. She also thinks you also should not talk about healthy eating but try to express and model flexible eating with an “all foods fit” philosophy.

“Unlike most other mental disorders, eating disorders tend to be glorified in our culture,” Dr. Muhlheim added. “Thus, [talking about eating disorders] must be done with care not to describe eating disorder behaviors.”

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After reading the story, people were fuming and many parents shared similar experiences

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand childhood obesity is a problem, but this isn’t the way to handle it. This is only setting OP’s daughter for being bullied and/or developing an eating disorder.

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never in my kid's 11 years of schooling (so far) has her school weighed her. That's not their job. However, if it's some kind of government initiative they have to do in some countries, send a letter to every parent (don't give it to the kids) along with how to address any possible issues WITHOUT kicking off an eating disorder. Kid in the story was only upset the same day as the post was made, so hopefully hunger and good parenting will see her right within 24 hours. The school however, needs dealing to.

Load More Replies...
MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This made me cry. I got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 7 and the medication made me gain so much weight that I started my ED when I was 9 years old and it was because of the fitness program and getting a letter. I was severely bullied until I went to a private school for high school. The mom is 100% doing the right thing and not sweeping this under the rug. I wish there was something I could do to help her and her child

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, I have JIA, was it prednisone? That stuff is the woooorst. Crazy bloating, crazy munchies, crazy mood swings.

Load More Replies...
Brocken Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. School administrators here need a giant wake up call. Shaming people publicly about weight is never the way. I remember the funeral I attended in high school for a fellow student who died of her ED. It’s only more heartbreaking the more I think about it

Load More Comments
CatWoman312
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand childhood obesity is a problem, but this isn’t the way to handle it. This is only setting OP’s daughter for being bullied and/or developing an eating disorder.

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never in my kid's 11 years of schooling (so far) has her school weighed her. That's not their job. However, if it's some kind of government initiative they have to do in some countries, send a letter to every parent (don't give it to the kids) along with how to address any possible issues WITHOUT kicking off an eating disorder. Kid in the story was only upset the same day as the post was made, so hopefully hunger and good parenting will see her right within 24 hours. The school however, needs dealing to.

Load More Replies...
MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This made me cry. I got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 7 and the medication made me gain so much weight that I started my ED when I was 9 years old and it was because of the fitness program and getting a letter. I was severely bullied until I went to a private school for high school. The mom is 100% doing the right thing and not sweeping this under the rug. I wish there was something I could do to help her and her child

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, I have JIA, was it prednisone? That stuff is the woooorst. Crazy bloating, crazy munchies, crazy mood swings.

Load More Replies...
Brocken Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. School administrators here need a giant wake up call. Shaming people publicly about weight is never the way. I remember the funeral I attended in high school for a fellow student who died of her ED. It’s only more heartbreaking the more I think about it

Load More Comments
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