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“AITA For Telling My Stepmom That I Won’t Give Up My Room So Her Daughter Can Have It?”
Interview
Probably a lot of us would consider our home a place where we can rest and relax after a hard day. So it’s natural to assume that it takes a lot of time and effort to make it as cozy and comfortable as possible. But imagine that one day you have to take all of your belongings and move. Yes, sometimes moving is unavoidable, but what if all of this hassle of taking down your pictures and posters and nice decorations is just for it all to be moved into the next room? Reddit user @u/Sleepy_allthetime55 decided to share her story of having to deal with new family members that moved into her and her dad’s house after he married her stepmom Kelly. The author of the post seemed to be fine with all these changes until her 13-year-old stepsister decided that she wanted OP’s room and for this reason, she would have to move out from it.
More Info: Reddit
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For a lot of us our home, especially our room, is a place where we feel most comfortable and safe
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55 (not the actual photo)
The 16-year-old started describing her situation by sharing that her dad married her stepmom Kelly and after that, she and her two kids, a 13-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son, moved into their house. The young woman shared that they live in a quite spacious house that has four rooms, two of them having a bathroom and the other two – a walk-in closet.
A young Reddit user decided to ask people online if she was wrong for not letting her 13-year-old stepsister have her room and causing an argument
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
The whole hassle started when her new family members were moving into the house. At some point, the kids were introduced to their new rooms. While the post author showed her stepbrother his new space, the 13-year-old ran into OP’s room and decided that now this was going to be her room as it has purple walls (her favorite color) and has a bathroom next to it. Of course, the 16-year-old didn’t agree with this and the fight followed. At first even the dad tried to explain that the younger sister gets an empty room with a walk-in closet, so she can paint and decorate it however she wants. However, it didn’t change her mind.
The author of the post shared that despite her new sister having a room prepared for her, she decided that she wants to take over OP’s room because it has purple walls and a bathroom
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
Even dad tried to explain to the girl that she can have her other room decorated the way she wants, but she was stubborn about wanting the room that was already occupied
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
Soon the stepmom followed in her daughter’s footsteps and started arguing that OP should move out of the room and let her little sister have it as she has already lived there long enough. When this didn’t work, Kelly blamed her stepdaughter for being mean to her kid. The author of the post stood her ground and refused to make any changes. However, it did made her wonder whether she really did the right thing by not allowing her sister to have her room.
The situation got even worse when the stepmom agreed with her daughter and requested the stepdaughter give up the room as she’s had it long enough
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
Bored Panda contacted the original poster and found out that in the end, the family came to an agreement. Despite the younger sister still keeping up her act, dad decided to let her have the upstairs bathroom and this way ease the tension. But is it the end? Will the new family members continue to push the limits? The young woman thinks that for now, the stepmom won’t push things but “she will side with her daughter” whenever something comes up. The good thing is that the room is out of the question as no one should enter it without the OP’s permission.
The author was asked why she decided to share this story and the answer was that her stepmom Kelly’s words made her question her decisions. But Reddit’s community was fast enough to confirm that she is right in this case.
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
A lot of people online agreed with her decision to not budge and please her new and entitled family members. Some of them were also curious about how her dad reacted to this whole situation. Later, OP shared that he admitted that she can do whatever she feels is right and even agreed to take her to a store to buy a new doorknob so she can lock her room. Some commentators online found this behavior weird as they didn’t agree with him saying that she “is old enough to talk for herself.”
People online were curious to know how OP’s dad reacted to this whole situation
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
The story was followed up with an update where the author of the post shared that she will be buying a new doorknob with a lock, so her little stepsister won’t be able to mess with her room
Image credits: Sleepy_allthetime55
Another interesting thing that was noticed by members of this online community was the fact that they hadn’t talked about their living arrangements before actually moving in, which caused this fight about the room. What was advised to the author of the post is that she should be aware of her new stepmother and the way she handles things. What is your take on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
For those who find themselves in a similar situation, the 16-year-old encourages them to speak up and assess the situation: “I would tell them to talk to their bio parent and see what their view on it is and make sure they get a lock that only they have access to.”
Image credits: Jim Champion (not the actual photo)
Users of this online group expressed their support and encouraged the young woman to stand her ground no matter what
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What do you think ?
Deborah Harris 2 years ago
The oldest daughter usually gets the bathroom, the 13 year old and the stepmom sound obnoxious from day one ....
Honu 2 years ago
Though that is often not particularly fair, either. Let's say you have kids two years apart in age. Pretty common. The oldest kid gets the en suite for a decade or more, then leaves for school at 18. The second kid gets the good room for 2 years. I'm glad my parents chose a house where all the kids' bedrooms were equal. Still, the idea that OP should change rooms is not fair. She was already there. That is her room. Everyone is having to deal with transition and getting to know each other. Starting by booting her from her room is not a good way to form a relationship. The idea that this was not discussed ahead of time astounds me. They had plenty of time to make sure the kids knew what their rooms would be and even to decorate them in a way they would like.
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lara 2 years ago
This "new wife" is not a good choice for the Dad and it will get worse. I think she sees him as a "lunch ticket." BTW, if you are having trouble now, just wait until he passes on. Then you will really get shafted.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
Yup, stepmom gets everything and daughter gets a song
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Mjskywalk 2 years ago
Under the stepmom’s logic OP should take the master bedroom. SM and her husband can take the undecorated room.
Omi bub 2 years ago
That is exactly what I thought. Clearly she doesn't want her kid to have a bathroom thar much!
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Kat Min 2 years ago
All kids should have their own bathroom???? Unless the parents are millionaires, those kids are going to have a very unpleasant surprise waiting for them, once they go to college.
Lou Cam 2 years ago
Agree, I have two brothers and all our family just had the one bathroom. Oh the horror!
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The Other Guest 2 years ago
IMHO, the bedroom situation should have been handled a lot differently. The parents should have hyped up the undecorated rooms BEFORE the kids even saw them - "You'll get to choose your own paint and decorations! It'll be your own personal space!" Waiting until after they moved in was not the best plan.
just me 2 years ago
Yeah. It sounded like the younger kids had never been to the house before. Didn't they think to get rooms ready and decorated before the wedding, or at least the move in?
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HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 2 years ago
Um, I'm 13. Who acts like this? This kid is spoiled, I haven't acted that way since I was seven. This is baffling to me. NTA
Aunt Riarch 2 years ago
Dear heavens I'm glad to hear there are decent youngsters in my world now Harper! (I mean I thought there were, I'm just glad to have it confirmed)
Load More Replies... Lori w 2 years ago (edited)
As a stepmom, this makes me sad. If the house didn't have enough rooms, then yes, sharing would happen. Sounds like there's no reason the 13 year old "needs" that room. I survived my teenage years sharing a bathroom, she will be ok. Hope some healthy boundaries can be set and the stepmom can treat the step kid with the same consideration she'd give her biological daughter.
Phil Boswell 2 years ago
A lot of people on Reddit condemning the dad, hopefully before the edit explaining his reaction. He's giving the OP the choice of what to do, saying he'll back her up regardless, what more could he do? He's taken her to buy a lock for the door, and it sounds like he's willing to do more if she wants.
Honu 2 years ago
He and his new wife could've discussed this ahead of time, made a plan, told the kids what rooms they would have. They could've even decorated them so the kids moving in would have rooms they loved.
Load More Replies...
LangiStudios 2 years ago
"Be the bigger person" once again being used to mean "shut up and let me have my way".
Miss Kat O 2 years ago
Eldest child gets pick of the second bedroom after the parents... and this continues as you go down the ages... standard
Mora Chilis 2 years ago
Was this not discussed when they were dating? Before they "showed up" to move in?
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Dad needs to annul the marriage. He married a horrible person with horrible spawn.
Abigail Cohen 1 year ago
Wow. Just wow. How entitled do you have to be to try to steal someone’s room and throw a tantrum with threats. How did the dad even get married to Kelly. She sounds like the worst
Whitefox 2 years ago
The new wife sound like she has never stepped foot into this home to not know its layout and how to manage expectations with her own kids. I also find it odd that the new step kids haven't been to the house and hung out with their soon to be sibling. When my mom started getting super serious with out dad, we went to his families houses and got to know everything like that. We don't have step sibs, but I just find it really weird that the dad and the new mom hadn't talked this all through all ready.
Lady Lava 2 years ago (edited)
Absolutely not the AH, it's her room in her house and she should keep it. Even the idea that she should give it up for her step-sibling is ridiculous, in my opinion. And the stepsister sounds very spoiled, used to geting things her way. I'm glad to hear the father stands with the OP. But besides that, the whole bathroom thing keeps me wondering... Is this an American thing to all have your own bathroom? I have seen that before in tv shows. What a luxury...! My house has one larger bathroom upstairs and a separate toilet downstairs, and that's pretty much the standard in my country.
asexualotl (she/her) 2 years ago
im close to the daughters age and i can say that she's being hella unreasonable
Bella V 2 years ago
Do people not talk anymore? I don't get it. My husband and I have a blended family, he had a son and I had three kids when we met. We dated... kids got to know each other, we got to know each other's kids. We decided to blend our families now the kids are all of OUR kids. (no step anything) and we decided when we moved in who would get what bedroom, who would share etc. I don't get these stories it's like they just met once. So weird.
Tacos Are Tasty 2 years ago
100% NOT the a*****e. The 13 year old and her mother are entitled twats and are the assholes in this scenario, without question.
phil blanque 2 years ago
Yikes...this situation has major trouble written all over it. This should have all been worked out beforehand, and not left to the children to fight over. Of course the daughter should keep her room......Although....she could use this to negotiate something bigger....a graduation trip to Europe...a car...you name it.
Featherking 4 months ago
Dad needs to think this one through REALLY carefully. Such behaviour from not only the brat of a kid but from my new WIFE would give me serious, serious doubt. It might even make me back out - if such lunacy even entered her head, her adult head, along with trying to bully MY DAUGHTER out of HER OWN ROOM, I’d already be fairly convinced that this woman and her hell spawn needs to go. I don’t see how it could end well.
Dutchess of Catshire 7 months ago
The dad needs to give the step mother and her kids the boot, permanently. They are a disgrace and do not belong in that home. They are nothing but an intrusion. They are bad people and Dad made a huge mistake when trusting Kelly.
SilverSkyCloud 11 months ago
at least the dad isnt pussy whipped in this post like the other dads who bring their new wifes into the homes that we read about
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 1 year ago
If OP had moved, painted the new room and been fine with it, little brat would have wanted that room.
Chrissy Rogers 2 years ago
What the hell kind of people think children deserve a bathroom to themselves? Gross entitlement right there.
Lorelei Cannata 2 years ago
Better make sure your father doesn't put your stepmother on the house title. You will stand to lose a while lot more than a bedroom if he does. You also stand to lose if they do a joint checking or savings account.
Stargazer66 2 years ago
This does not bode well for the marriage. And I can see this little brat being enabled for the next decade, she's going to turn out to be quite the c-word when she grows up.
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
Huge red flags starting off in this marriage already. I don't see this lasting long. These are things that should have been discussed way prior to moving in day.
Conan Maschingon 2 years ago
no the step mom is clearly a dumb f**k that is controlled by her daughter and it shows by the way she reacted to this situation and clearly isn't looking to make a connection with her new daughter she is just tolerating her for the moment I can tell she is a shitty parent by this one interaction
Stephen Price 2 years ago
Just another example of how men today are no longer able to stand up for themselves and worse for their family! His daughter looks to the man she depends on for protection and to always be there for her no matter what situation may develop and what does he do, bail on her! Dad is more concerned with keeping his "play toy" happy so she won't get upset and ban him to the couch or worse, kick him to the curb than stand up for his more important responsibility....his own flesh and blood his daughter who loved and needed him so much in this cruel world, she chose to live with him rather than her own mother who carried her and gave her life! For my part there would have been absolutely no question...."No this is my daughter's room period, end of discussion. The other room is yours, I will have a bathroom installed for you and you can choose any color you wish to paint it and we will furnish it to your needs and wants." That is how a man/father should respond to a teen step child.
Mary Guerinot 7 months ago
Stephen Price - Did you even read the whole post? If so, how did you miss the parts where the father left the choice up to his daughter with his backing and then taking her to buy a lock for her door. If not, you have no right to even comment.
Load More Replies... Deborah Harris 2 years ago
The oldest daughter usually gets the bathroom, the 13 year old and the stepmom sound obnoxious from day one ....
Honu 2 years ago
Though that is often not particularly fair, either. Let's say you have kids two years apart in age. Pretty common. The oldest kid gets the en suite for a decade or more, then leaves for school at 18. The second kid gets the good room for 2 years. I'm glad my parents chose a house where all the kids' bedrooms were equal. Still, the idea that OP should change rooms is not fair. She was already there. That is her room. Everyone is having to deal with transition and getting to know each other. Starting by booting her from her room is not a good way to form a relationship. The idea that this was not discussed ahead of time astounds me. They had plenty of time to make sure the kids knew what their rooms would be and even to decorate them in a way they would like.
Load More Replies... lara 2 years ago
This "new wife" is not a good choice for the Dad and it will get worse. I think she sees him as a "lunch ticket." BTW, if you are having trouble now, just wait until he passes on. Then you will really get shafted.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
Yup, stepmom gets everything and daughter gets a song
Load More Replies... Mjskywalk 2 years ago
Under the stepmom’s logic OP should take the master bedroom. SM and her husband can take the undecorated room.
Omi bub 2 years ago
That is exactly what I thought. Clearly she doesn't want her kid to have a bathroom thar much!
Load More Replies... Kat Min 2 years ago
All kids should have their own bathroom???? Unless the parents are millionaires, those kids are going to have a very unpleasant surprise waiting for them, once they go to college.
Lou Cam 2 years ago
Agree, I have two brothers and all our family just had the one bathroom. Oh the horror!
Load More Replies... The Other Guest 2 years ago
IMHO, the bedroom situation should have been handled a lot differently. The parents should have hyped up the undecorated rooms BEFORE the kids even saw them - "You'll get to choose your own paint and decorations! It'll be your own personal space!" Waiting until after they moved in was not the best plan.
just me 2 years ago
Yeah. It sounded like the younger kids had never been to the house before. Didn't they think to get rooms ready and decorated before the wedding, or at least the move in?
Load More Replies... HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 2 years ago
Um, I'm 13. Who acts like this? This kid is spoiled, I haven't acted that way since I was seven. This is baffling to me. NTA
Aunt Riarch 2 years ago
Dear heavens I'm glad to hear there are decent youngsters in my world now Harper! (I mean I thought there were, I'm just glad to have it confirmed)
Load More Replies... Lori w 2 years ago (edited)
As a stepmom, this makes me sad. If the house didn't have enough rooms, then yes, sharing would happen. Sounds like there's no reason the 13 year old "needs" that room. I survived my teenage years sharing a bathroom, she will be ok. Hope some healthy boundaries can be set and the stepmom can treat the step kid with the same consideration she'd give her biological daughter.
Phil Boswell 2 years ago
A lot of people on Reddit condemning the dad, hopefully before the edit explaining his reaction. He's giving the OP the choice of what to do, saying he'll back her up regardless, what more could he do? He's taken her to buy a lock for the door, and it sounds like he's willing to do more if she wants.
Honu 2 years ago
He and his new wife could've discussed this ahead of time, made a plan, told the kids what rooms they would have. They could've even decorated them so the kids moving in would have rooms they loved.
Load More Replies... LangiStudios 2 years ago
"Be the bigger person" once again being used to mean "shut up and let me have my way".
Miss Kat O 2 years ago
Eldest child gets pick of the second bedroom after the parents... and this continues as you go down the ages... standard
Mora Chilis 2 years ago
Was this not discussed when they were dating? Before they "showed up" to move in?
Jennifer Lee 2 years ago
Dad needs to annul the marriage. He married a horrible person with horrible spawn.
Abigail Cohen 1 year ago
Wow. Just wow. How entitled do you have to be to try to steal someone’s room and throw a tantrum with threats. How did the dad even get married to Kelly. She sounds like the worst
Whitefox 2 years ago
The new wife sound like she has never stepped foot into this home to not know its layout and how to manage expectations with her own kids. I also find it odd that the new step kids haven't been to the house and hung out with their soon to be sibling. When my mom started getting super serious with out dad, we went to his families houses and got to know everything like that. We don't have step sibs, but I just find it really weird that the dad and the new mom hadn't talked this all through all ready.
Lady Lava 2 years ago (edited)
Absolutely not the AH, it's her room in her house and she should keep it. Even the idea that she should give it up for her step-sibling is ridiculous, in my opinion. And the stepsister sounds very spoiled, used to geting things her way. I'm glad to hear the father stands with the OP. But besides that, the whole bathroom thing keeps me wondering... Is this an American thing to all have your own bathroom? I have seen that before in tv shows. What a luxury...! My house has one larger bathroom upstairs and a separate toilet downstairs, and that's pretty much the standard in my country.
asexualotl (she/her) 2 years ago
im close to the daughters age and i can say that she's being hella unreasonable
Bella V 2 years ago
Do people not talk anymore? I don't get it. My husband and I have a blended family, he had a son and I had three kids when we met. We dated... kids got to know each other, we got to know each other's kids. We decided to blend our families now the kids are all of OUR kids. (no step anything) and we decided when we moved in who would get what bedroom, who would share etc. I don't get these stories it's like they just met once. So weird.
Tacos Are Tasty 2 years ago
100% NOT the a*****e. The 13 year old and her mother are entitled twats and are the assholes in this scenario, without question.
phil blanque 2 years ago
Yikes...this situation has major trouble written all over it. This should have all been worked out beforehand, and not left to the children to fight over. Of course the daughter should keep her room......Although....she could use this to negotiate something bigger....a graduation trip to Europe...a car...you name it.
Featherking 4 months ago
Dad needs to think this one through REALLY carefully. Such behaviour from not only the brat of a kid but from my new WIFE would give me serious, serious doubt. It might even make me back out - if such lunacy even entered her head, her adult head, along with trying to bully MY DAUGHTER out of HER OWN ROOM, I’d already be fairly convinced that this woman and her hell spawn needs to go. I don’t see how it could end well.
Dutchess of Catshire 7 months ago
The dad needs to give the step mother and her kids the boot, permanently. They are a disgrace and do not belong in that home. They are nothing but an intrusion. They are bad people and Dad made a huge mistake when trusting Kelly.
SilverSkyCloud 11 months ago
at least the dad isnt pussy whipped in this post like the other dads who bring their new wifes into the homes that we read about
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 1 year ago
If OP had moved, painted the new room and been fine with it, little brat would have wanted that room.
Chrissy Rogers 2 years ago
What the hell kind of people think children deserve a bathroom to themselves? Gross entitlement right there.
Lorelei Cannata 2 years ago
Better make sure your father doesn't put your stepmother on the house title. You will stand to lose a while lot more than a bedroom if he does. You also stand to lose if they do a joint checking or savings account.
Stargazer66 2 years ago
This does not bode well for the marriage. And I can see this little brat being enabled for the next decade, she's going to turn out to be quite the c-word when she grows up.
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
Huge red flags starting off in this marriage already. I don't see this lasting long. These are things that should have been discussed way prior to moving in day.
Conan Maschingon 2 years ago
no the step mom is clearly a dumb f**k that is controlled by her daughter and it shows by the way she reacted to this situation and clearly isn't looking to make a connection with her new daughter she is just tolerating her for the moment I can tell she is a shitty parent by this one interaction
Stephen Price 2 years ago
Just another example of how men today are no longer able to stand up for themselves and worse for their family! His daughter looks to the man she depends on for protection and to always be there for her no matter what situation may develop and what does he do, bail on her! Dad is more concerned with keeping his "play toy" happy so she won't get upset and ban him to the couch or worse, kick him to the curb than stand up for his more important responsibility....his own flesh and blood his daughter who loved and needed him so much in this cruel world, she chose to live with him rather than her own mother who carried her and gave her life! For my part there would have been absolutely no question...."No this is my daughter's room period, end of discussion. The other room is yours, I will have a bathroom installed for you and you can choose any color you wish to paint it and we will furnish it to your needs and wants." That is how a man/father should respond to a teen step child.
Mary Guerinot 7 months ago
Stephen Price - Did you even read the whole post? If so, how did you miss the parts where the father left the choice up to his daughter with his backing and then taking her to buy a lock for her door. If not, you have no right to even comment.
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