Dad Explains To His 16YO That Her Grandparents Abused Her Mom, She Invites Them Over To Her Birthday
Parents are supposed to be the people who love their kids unconditionally. Sadly, it’s not the case for all children in the world. Some parents tend to be abusive. And it can even go to the extent of the children developing immense trauma that ruins their life for many years to come.
One of these people is today’s story’s OP’s wife. She has PTSD from her childhood abuse and has no contact with the abusers — her parents. Well, that was the case until her own daughter decided to invite them over.
More info: Reddit
Unfortunately, some parents are so abusive to their children that it causes them to have immense trauma
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
A teen asked to contact her grandparents, who abused her mom so much that she still suffers from PTSD to this day
After getting a negative answer and an explanation for it, she still invited her grandparents to mom’s birthday, claiming that her mom exaggerated her stories
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
The grandfather injured the teen’s mother during her birthday, proving to the girl that the stories weren’t exaggerated
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Ok-Bee8175
The night ended with pressed charges against the grandparents, and the teen was called selfish and undisciplined for not considering her mom’s feelings
The post’s author’s wife’s parents are terrible. They abused her up until she moved out at the age of 18. To this day, she still suffers from PTSD from it. Fortunately, the woman decided to break the cycle of abuse and treat her daughter way better than her parents ever treated her.
One day, the couple’s 16-year-old daughter asked to visit her grandparents from her mom’s side. Both parents immediately said no, as these people didn’t deserve any part in their lives. They told their daughter the whole story behind the mom’s childhood, and it seemed that she understood the situation’s severity. So, the parents thought the situation was solved.
But they were wrong. It was the wife’s birthday, and the OP, their daughter, and the wife’s sister and her children were at their place celebrating her. Then, suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Turns out, it was the wife’s parents. Apparently, their granddaughter invited them.
The OP tried to kick them out, saying that they were unwanted, but his daughter stood up for them. Her justification was that she assumed her mom was exaggerating what happened in her childhood, as the grandparents had said. The wife shouted at them to leave, and so the husband tried to push out the unwanted guests.
Sadly, since the wife’s father was quite a hefty guy, he pushed the OP aside and also pushed his daughter (the OP’s wife). This resulted in her head hitting the wall to the extent that she needed stitches. After that, he was forced out of the home with a promise of getting charges pressed and a restraining order.
Naturally, after such a dramatic turn of events, the daughter, who invited the grandparents despite knowing the history, deserved some kind of discipline. The OP screamed at her, telling her how selfish she was. She repeated that she thought her mom exaggerated and that reconnecting was supposed to be a good thing. She didn’t anticipate how evil they were.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Of course, the girl said sorry, but that wasn’t enough for the parents. After all, her decision ended up with her mom getting injured. The daughter lost her parents’ trust. That means she can’t have a phone or visit friends until she earns the trust back.
Yet, the father feels they went too easy on their daughter and that some more serious discipline would have been better. That’s what prompted him to come on Reddit to ask for advice.
And a lot of people gave him advice. Many of them assured him that he must stay on the course of the punishment he set. Quite a few weren’t in the advising mood and simply wished the OP’s wife the mental strength to overcome this situation. The rest told him that both parents should consider how to make this lesson for their daughter long-lasting so she won’t do this ever again.
Sarah Vanbuskirk provides some tips on how to prevent future behavior troubles from teens. One of the main ways to do this is to clearly communicate expectations. Well, from what we’re told in the Reddit story, we can understand that this was executed quite well. The daughter seeing how awful her grandparents are, along with the things her mom told her, paints a clear picture. So does her parents telling her she needs to earn their trust back.
Another tip provided by Sarah is to listen to the teen. We can imply that this was done by the story’s parents as well since they heard her explanation and apologized, and, in this situation, it’s enough, at least from what we are aware of.
So, maybe the parents dealt with the situation quite properly as far as we know. Yes, the teen messed up really badly and inflicted some emotional and physical injuries on her mom, but hopefully, everyone will be able to deal with it and move on.
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
As a daughter of a monster, with complex PTSD from my childhood .. people who have good and normal parents have NO idea how monstrous and toxic some people can be!!
Sadly that's true. The worst is, they really think they know what bad means. They have their ideas and imaginations about 'bad' but within their own framework. They cannot comprehend that people would really do such things. They know teasing, and when they hear bullying, they think it's a bit more teasing. They know a parent losing their cool now and then, and they hear choleric screaming and think off losing the cool a bit more often. They hear beating, and they think of a person slapping their child once in a rage. They also believe just talking about it could smooth things out. They're very mistaken.
Load More Replies...
The girl is 16? Sounds like a dumb misguided teen who was living in a fantasy world about things working out. She needs to really earn back her mothers trust, but also she learned a valuable lesson about people. I feel bad for the mother who is suffering because her daughter did not listen. Hopefully they can move forward from this
I see it as a part of teenage rebellion and pushing the boundaries, along with a healthy dose of childhood naivety. "It's not that bad, nobody could be that evil, that only happens to other people or in movies." etc. Unfortunately she hurt others by finding out the hard way. Her maternal grandparents were a mystery that she had to investigate, and she was gaslighted into believing their downplaying of the abuse, backing her own "That only happens to other people/in movies" pre-judgment. I don't think the punishment was too harsh, I don't know if I would've been able to remain that calm. When I found out one of my closest and best friends helped my abuser by keeping me distracted so he could sneak in and STEAL MY CATS, I lost it. Cut her out of my life entirely after a huge fight. (But then, she wasn't my own offspring.)
Load More Replies...
16 is old enough to understand that no contact means no contact, especially for those reasons, and then she pursued with multiple messages. The very person, her mother, who she should have respected then got physically assaulted right in front of her. That's going to take ages to fix between the 2 of them. Mum is re-traumatised. Kid is full of guilt and regret. I hope they can get through this all right.
You're forgetting societal pressure. Being told "you can't date or see that boy down the street" IS NOT THE SAME THING. Society repeatedly lies that "family is everything!" and forces people to conform, that people who don't conform are "wrong". Most families DO have grandparent-grandchild contact, so she thought it was normal. And narcissists are sociopaths who know how to lure in and trick victims, they KNOW how to play nice until their victims are in a situation where the narcs are in full control.
Load More Replies...
As a daughter of a monster, with complex PTSD from my childhood .. people who have good and normal parents have NO idea how monstrous and toxic some people can be!!
Sadly that's true. The worst is, they really think they know what bad means. They have their ideas and imaginations about 'bad' but within their own framework. They cannot comprehend that people would really do such things. They know teasing, and when they hear bullying, they think it's a bit more teasing. They know a parent losing their cool now and then, and they hear choleric screaming and think off losing the cool a bit more often. They hear beating, and they think of a person slapping their child once in a rage. They also believe just talking about it could smooth things out. They're very mistaken.
Load More Replies... The girl is 16? Sounds like a dumb misguided teen who was living in a fantasy world about things working out. She needs to really earn back her mothers trust, but also she learned a valuable lesson about people. I feel bad for the mother who is suffering because her daughter did not listen. Hopefully they can move forward from this
I see it as a part of teenage rebellion and pushing the boundaries, along with a healthy dose of childhood naivety. "It's not that bad, nobody could be that evil, that only happens to other people or in movies." etc. Unfortunately she hurt others by finding out the hard way. Her maternal grandparents were a mystery that she had to investigate, and she was gaslighted into believing their downplaying of the abuse, backing her own "That only happens to other people/in movies" pre-judgment. I don't think the punishment was too harsh, I don't know if I would've been able to remain that calm. When I found out one of my closest and best friends helped my abuser by keeping me distracted so he could sneak in and STEAL MY CATS, I lost it. Cut her out of my life entirely after a huge fight. (But then, she wasn't my own offspring.)
Load More Replies... 16 is old enough to understand that no contact means no contact, especially for those reasons, and then she pursued with multiple messages. The very person, her mother, who she should have respected then got physically assaulted right in front of her. That's going to take ages to fix between the 2 of them. Mum is re-traumatised. Kid is full of guilt and regret. I hope they can get through this all right.
You're forgetting societal pressure. Being told "you can't date or see that boy down the street" IS NOT THE SAME THING. Society repeatedly lies that "family is everything!" and forces people to conform, that people who don't conform are "wrong". Most families DO have grandparent-grandchild contact, so she thought it was normal. And narcissists are sociopaths who know how to lure in and trick victims, they KNOW how to play nice until their victims are in a situation where the narcs are in full control.
Load More Replies...
76
96