Woman Wants To Divorce Cheating Hubby, Daughters Expect Mom To Stay With Him Despite Knowing Truth
Our parents go out of their way, just for us, probably a million times without us even knowing it, but we often forget that they are human too. When they do something for themselves, we are not really used to that side of them, so we might question their actions.
Even the original poster’s (OP) daughters were irked that she was divorcing their dad as they felt she was breaking up the family. However, her husband had affairs both times she was pregnant, so after she found out, she couldn’t even bear to look at him.
More info: Reddit
We are used to parents doing things for us, so when they do something for themselves, we might question their actions
Image credits: Katie Salerno / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster recently found out that years ago, both times when she was pregnant, her husband had cheated on her, and now she can’t even bear to look at him
Image credits: Ok_Ostrich5154
Image credits: Ali Danacı / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She wants a divorce, but both her teen daughters are against it as they feel that it was all long ago
Image credits: Ok_Ostrich5154
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The daughters have refused to even live with their mom and they have also stopped talking to her for the past 2 months
Image credits: Ok_Ostrich5154
They have even threatened that she will never see them again if she decides to get a divorce, but she wants to do it anyway
In today’s story, Reddit user Ok_Ostrich5154 tells us how she stood up for herself even if it caused a rift in the family; all because of her cheating husband. What happened was that she found out her husband had affairs both times that she had been pregnant and even though it had happened years ago and she found out recently, the pain is still fresh.
Her 2 teen daughters are 14 and 16 years of age and both of them are completely against the fact that she wants nothing but a divorce from her cheating husband. OP even says that she had tried therapy, but nothing has worked because she can’t even look him in the eye after everything that happened. Honestly, who can blame her?
The teens feel that the offense was quite long ago so they are insistent on their mom not getting a divorce and have even threatened to never see her again if she does. They also refuse to live with her and stay with their dad whenever it’s her turn to stay with them. Poor OP feels that what had once been a happy family is all over and now they only love him.
The daughters are pretty serious about their threat, because the poster has not seen them for 2 months and they have also said that they will go completely no-contact if she proceeds with the divorce. However, OP was clear that she is going to go ahead with it, no matter what, and she is sticking by her decision.
Well, even if she is standing up for herself, it must honestly be painful for her, because not seeing her kids for so long must have broken her heart. When she vented online, she never once bad-mouthed the man and even claimed that he was a good father and a good partner, but netizens had something else to say!
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As sad as this fact may sound, research has shown that 1 in 10 men who are fathers-to-be cheat on their pregnant partners, and it looks like OP’s husband is one of them. Many people claimed that he admitted to the 2 affairs because his father told the poster about them, but there was a high chance that there were more.
As per the University of Denver, someone is 3 times more likely to cheat if they have cheated in the past, and this just clarifies the worst fears of Redditors about his serial infidelity. They couldn’t help but feel bad for the poster who had to find out about the cheating after being lied to for so many years.
According to Choosing Therapy, “When a person discovers an affair, it can be eviscerating. Unfortunately, several long-term effects of infidelity can affect a person long after the cheating has stopped. These can be life-changing, and lead to the development of certain mental health conditions including chronic depression, anxiety, post-infidelity stress disorder, and betrayal trauma.”
The poster mentions in the comments that she did love her husband, so his infidelity must be painful, but on top of it, she is also losing her daughters. It has been observed that it’s normal for teens—whose parents get divorced—to feel a multitude of changing emotions and they might also feel protective of one parent or blame one for the situation.
Folks online also mentioned that they might blame her right now because they feel that she ruined their happy family, but they will eventually come along when they become mature enough to understand the gravity of the situation. People also opened up about similar stories and how infidelity wrecked their families, and sadly it’s become a social evil that actively persists in today’s society.
We would love to hear your thoughts about it, so just type away in the comments!
Folks expressed their sympathies to the poster as she was caught in such a difficult situation, but they said that the teens will eventually accept things
The girls are 14 and 16. When they’re 24 and 26, or 34 and 36, and have a little real life experience in relationships—-maybe even had a boyfriend or husband cheat on them, though I do not wish that on them—-believe me, they’ll come around. They will be begging OP to forgive their shortsighted teenage behavior, and at the same time they’ll be 100% bitchslapping their father for cheating on OP.
Teenagers are probably the most selfish little people. Their fairy tales no longer exist, but they are not mature enough to allow them to disappear into the past. Their world has shaken, and they don't know how to react properly. Their dad doesn't help one bit. They already know everything. They just don't know where to put all that anger yet.
She's overselling it with before this we were equally close and they loved us equally. But here's the thing, you didn't get married for your kids, you aren't getting divorced for your kids. If you aren't going to abandon them after the divorce, if you aren't going to be a worse mother, it's not up to them. If the relationship is over, it's over and pretending its not is just going to create a hostile household. But, you can't just expect kids to take your side. Just like they can't just expect that you forgive affairs. Everyone gets their feelings. Stop looking to your kids for validation.
I was having a conversation today about the fine line difference between setting and upholding your boundaries, and weaponizing boundaries to get what you want. Mom is setting boundaries. Kids are weaponizing. Everyone gets their boundaries and feelings.
Load More Replies...The girls are 14 and 16. When they’re 24 and 26, or 34 and 36, and have a little real life experience in relationships—-maybe even had a boyfriend or husband cheat on them, though I do not wish that on them—-believe me, they’ll come around. They will be begging OP to forgive their shortsighted teenage behavior, and at the same time they’ll be 100% bitchslapping their father for cheating on OP.
Teenagers are probably the most selfish little people. Their fairy tales no longer exist, but they are not mature enough to allow them to disappear into the past. Their world has shaken, and they don't know how to react properly. Their dad doesn't help one bit. They already know everything. They just don't know where to put all that anger yet.
She's overselling it with before this we were equally close and they loved us equally. But here's the thing, you didn't get married for your kids, you aren't getting divorced for your kids. If you aren't going to abandon them after the divorce, if you aren't going to be a worse mother, it's not up to them. If the relationship is over, it's over and pretending its not is just going to create a hostile household. But, you can't just expect kids to take your side. Just like they can't just expect that you forgive affairs. Everyone gets their feelings. Stop looking to your kids for validation.
I was having a conversation today about the fine line difference between setting and upholding your boundaries, and weaponizing boundaries to get what you want. Mom is setting boundaries. Kids are weaponizing. Everyone gets their boundaries and feelings.
Load More Replies...
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